Category Archives: ramblings

Ten Things #3

Here’s my March list of Ten Things.
10 Birds I see regularly in my Garden:

  1. House Sparrow
  2. Starling
  3. Blackbird
  4. Goldfinch
  5. Ring-Neck Parakeet
  6. Chaffinch
  7. Robin
  8. Great Tit
  9. Greenfinch
  10. Blue Tit

In fact we do so well for birds I might have to do another list of ten sometime later.

Coming up in March

Interesting events an anniversaries in the month ahead.
4 March
Shrove Tuesday, and therefore Pancake Day. Traditionally this was the feast to eat remaining winter food stocks on the last day before the fasting of Lent. It was also the day when the penitent went to confession (hence “shrove” from “shriven”) in preparation for Lent.


Pieter Bruegel the Elder; The Fight between Carnival and Lent (detail)

5 March
The day after Shrove Tuesday is therefore Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.
8 March
International Women’s Day. Find out more at www.internationalwomensday.com
11 March
This day in 1984 saw the beginning of the National Miner’s Strike in which Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher defeated the Miners’ Unions and effectively killed the British coal industry.
14-23 March
National Science & Engineering Week is a ten-day national programme of science, technology, engineering and maths events and activities across the UK aimed at people of all ages. Find more at www.britishscienceassociation.org/national-science-engineering-week.
21 March
Spring (Vernal) Equinox and the pagan festival of Ēostre (which the Christian church subsumed into Easter and made a moveable feast).
21 March
Composer Modest Mussorgsky was born this day in 1839.
25 March
Lady Day or the Feast of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin. It is the first of the four traditional English quarter days when servants were hired and rents were due.
26 March
The UK Driving Test was introduced on this day in 1934.
30 March
Mothers’ Day in the UK, which is always celebrated on the fourth Sunday in Lent.
31 March
Paris’s Eiffel Tower was opened this day in 1889.

Five Questions, Series 5 #3

So here you go with my answer to question three of the Five Questions in Series 5 that I posed at the beginning of the month.


Question 3: Do stairs go up or down?
Well now there’s a question! It’s a bit like “Is the glass half full or half empty”.
The answer is really either both or neither, depending on one’s philosophical position.
You can look at it as stairs going up to or from something or equally down to or from something.
But do they really?
No, not in my book of logic. Stairs are stationary. It is we who do the going up or down.
mce

So I would submit, m’Lud, that stairs go neither up nor down. They go nowhere. They just are.
Unless of course they’re on the back of a truck (or other conveyance) when they could well be going from place A to place B. But that also may be neither up nor down; or it could be both.
Confused? Yeah, well that’s philosophy and logic, innit!

Five Questions, Series 5 #1

OK, so here we go with an answer to the first of the Five Questions in Series 5 that I posed about a week ago.


Question 1: What is time?
Well from a technical, scientific, point of view if I knew the answer I would have a Nobel Prize. Yes, this is one of the most intransigent, but most important, questions in the whole of physics. The answer is critically inter-related with our understanding of the whole of cosmology and the structure of the universe. If we knew exactly what time was, and why it appears to move only in one direction, we would likely have a theory of everything. Yes, scientifically it is that important. But despite the best efforts of the best brains in theoretical physics, we basically have very few clues.
At a more prosaic level there are all sorts of constructs around what time is. One of the best that I can come up with is that it is an artificial construct for distinguishing past, present and future in a vaguely, but also artificially, quantum way.
At an everyday level we divide time into years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds. All are essentially artificial, although years, months and days do have a more or less tight relationship with astronomical events. But weeks, hours, minutes and seconds are essentially arbitrary and historic divisions of time. Why are there 24 hours in a day, and not 10, 20, 25 or 100? And one can ask a similar question of weeks, minutes and seconds.
And essentially, non-scientifically, we treat these divisions of time in a quantum-ish sort of way. Either a second has passed or it hasn’t. Although we know that these time divisions are not really quantised at all. If they were we would never be able to time the 100m dash in the way we do.
That doesn’t mean that time cannot be quantised. Physicists think it may well be quantised, but at a much finer level that we can currently measure, ie. with quanta smaller than 10-15 seconds.
But time is even stranger than that. Scientists tell us that time ticks along at an absolutely constant rate, which is what our clocks tell us. But maybe this is only because scientists have defined it that way? And so our measuring systems reflect that.
At a very personal level we know that time does not progress linearly. Some mornings we get up, shower, dress, breakfast and are ready to leave for work at 7.30. Other days we do exactly the same only to find that it’s 8.00 and we’re half an hour late. We’ve all experienced this. We know intuitively that time does not pass at a constant rate.
How can this be? We don’t know. Some think this is a function of the way our brains work. But is it not at least possible — though scientists will deny this — that time really is non-linear and somehow these imperfections are embedded deep in the underlying structure of the cosmos? Well who knows? But quantum effects have found equally strange and unexpected effects.
So then, what is time? Well only God (who or whatever he or she may or may not be) knows. And she’s not telling us!
I’ll leave you with a couple of thoughts from greater luminaries than me:

Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90 … time is a concept that humans created.
[Yoko Ono]

To us, the moment 8:17 AM means something — something very important, if it happens to be the starting time of our daily train. To our ancestors, such an odd eccentric instant was without significance — did not even exist. In inventing the locomotive, Watt and Stevenson were part inventors of time.
[Aldous Huxley]

Christmas & New Year Traditional Events

This time of year produces a lot of traditional (and often strange) events around Britain. So many places seem to have their traditional event — some are relatively modern while others go back hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years.


I remember when I was a kid there was a relatively modern (started in 1908) Boxing Day tradition of a football match between the Bakers and the Sweeps which survives to this day. The participants, dressed and made up accordingly, paraded round the streets collecting money for charity before playing a fairly rowdy football match on one of the local recreation grounds. This tradition, like many others (both new and ancient) across the country, survives because it raises money for local charities.
I can’t hope to find out about and list here a tithe of the events happening across Britain — and there seems to be nowhere which lists them — so you will need to search out ones that interest you or that are happening near you. IanVisits lists a small number in his monthly “Things to do outside London” listings for December and January.
The most important dates to look for are:
     Boxing Day, 26 December
     New Year’s Eve, 31 December
     New Year’s Day, 1 January
     12th Day of Christmas, 5 January
     Old Christmas Day, 6 January
     Old New Year’s Eve, 11 January
As you see many of these traditions are tied to the old calendar and/or to traditionally important days. They deserve to survive both because they are a traditional part of the British heritage but also because so many do good work raising money for local charities.

More Pussy Porn

In keeping with the tradition of the interwebs being the repository of all things pussy, here are another couple of shots of Tilly the Kitten. (Not so much kitten now, actually, as she’s approaching 7 months old.)

Click the images for larger views on Flickr
Please, I would like to catch that mouse
Please, I would like to catch that mouse.
Tilly helps Noreen with Facebook.
6 December 2013
Office Cat
Office Cat
Tilly does duty as a paperweight.
Tummy fur beginning to regrow after neutering.
5 December 2013

Things to do Out of London in December

A few days ago IanVisits published (as usual every month) a rather super list of things one can do out of London during the coming month — ie. December.


The list is full of wonderfully festive events including Christmas tree festivals, boy bishops, torch-lit processions, mummers, football and tar barrels. Many are (or are based on) very ancient traditions especially to do with mid-winter fire and light festivals. You can find the full list here. I commend it to you!

On Flu Jabs and Sleep

I love curiosities!
Early on Friday afternoon I had my annual flu jab. By the evening I was beginning to feel meh. Yesterday I was fit for nothing; not full flu but everything except the severe body aches and high temperature. So I spent the day curled up under the duvet, mostly asleep. Not nice, but better this than having full-blown flu.
I understand why this can be a side-effect of the flu jab: basically it is an immune reaction to the (dead) bits of virus in the inoculation which stimulate the immune system to produce antibodies that protect against the real virus. So it is working as designed.


But what I don’t understand is why this only happens to some people and why it doesn’t happen consistently every year. When I first started having the flu jab it would make me feel mucky for half a day or so — maybe less. But three years ago the vaccine contained bird flu (or was it swine flu?) and that knocked me out for well over a week! (Unless I did actually catch flu at the same time I had the jab — unlikely, methinks.) Last year the inoculation flattened me a for a couple of days. This year it has done much the same.
Yes, OK, it is my immune system working as designed. But is this “excessive” reaction a sign that I have a good strong immune system that gets to work quickly and well? Or is it a sign that I have a weakened immune system which is struggling to catch up? Dunno.
I find this whole reaction (side-effect) curious.
Anyway, as I said, I spent yesterday curled up under the duvet. The curiosity here is “curled up”.
Now I normally sleep flat out. Either on my back or (more usually) on my front; and I always have done ever since I can remember. And Noreen will tell you I’m normally spread-eagled across the bed.
But yesterday I was curled up in a foetal position on my left side. I only ever do this when I’m ill. (Occasionally if very depressed I will curl in a foetal position on my right side; but never on my left side.) I’m guessing this is an ancient animal instinct to protect ones soft parts when most vulnerable (asleep). I’d also guess that being on my left side is because I am right-handed — this position leaves my stronger right hand free to smack any predator in the jaw. Maybe?
So just another curiosity.
I love curiosities!

Government and IT

Yesterday’s Independent carried a short article under the headline

Using computer technology ‘could save state £10bn a year’

Yes, you bet it could! Here are extracts from the article:

Civil servants could cut the cost of government by £70bn in seven years just by making more use of computer technology, a think-tank report … claims.
The ambitious claim … is almost 10 times what the Cabinet Office hopes can be achieved.
The report … highlights ways government departments waste money by using too much paper.
Offenders include the Crown Prosecution Service, which prints a million sheets of paper every day, the Driver & Vehicle Licensing Agency, where “two articulated trucks loaded with letters and paper pull in every day”, and the Passport Office, which prints out forms filled in online and posts them back to applicants to sign.

Oh FFS! I know I worked for a large IT company but set in its ways though the Corporation was even we got rid of most paper forms 10 years ago!
So you bet the government could save £10bn a year, but it will happen only if:

  • They learn something about IT and how to manage IT projects
  • They are prepared to listen to advice from suppliers
  • They are prepared to invest some money up front
  • They are prepared to grasp the nettle and tell the civil servants that this is how things will be done — no push-back allowed.

Will all of those happen? … No.
Will any of those happen? … Probably not.
Gawdelpus!

Grumpy Old Men R Us

I’m clearly getting senile: I’m getting grumpier in my old age.

No, correction … I’ve always been senile and grumpy.

I get more and more irritated, to put it mildly, by sales droids cold calling me. They ring the landline (which is already registered with the Telephone Preference Service). They ring my mobile. They ring the door bell. They stuff rubbish flyers through the door, or mail them to me.

[Mailing stuff out speculatively like that has to be an obscene waste of resources: paper, fuel for transport, postage, etc. as 99.99% will go straight in the bin. Although at least it does provide employment for postmen.]

None of it does any good. All these people do is get themselves hated and probably blacklisted. I only ever respond negatively to cold calling.



If I want a product or service I will know that I want it and will go out and look for it. If I don’t do that I don’t want (or need) it. I do not need you to try flogging me your rubbish that I don’t want. And it isn’t just people selling things. Surveys, charities, and so on are just as bad. I do not do BUSINESS (of any sort, that does not just mean selling things) with anyone who cold calls.

And if you are stupid enough to cold call me … do NOT argue with me. You’re just digging yourself a bigger pit. And you’ll lose. See I’ve worked in sales. I know all the answers and objections. I know why you do it (basically you’re all desperate) and why you’ll tell me you do it. I know all the lies.

The first rule of selling anything is to recognise when your (potential) customer has said “NO” and to take the hint.

If I want a product or service I will know that I want it and will go out and look for it. If I don’t do that I don’t want (or need) it. I do not need you to try flogging me your rubbish that I don’t want.

I doubt I know anyone who actually likes people cold calling them. And I’ll give you 10-1 that most of the sales droids who do it, detest having it done to them. Which surely makes it immoral for them to do the cold calling.

I’ve also seen how destructive it is of salesmen. Few survive very long at it. To me that makes it immoral for anyone to be asked to cold call.

So don’t do it! It’s counter-productive. Remember: Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Anything less is bad for your karma.

Besides it pisses me off. So you are likely to get a very dusty answer. “I don’t do business with anyone who cold calls me. Thank you.” [click] is the shortest and politest version. Argue and you’ll get more than you bargained for because you’ve made me angry. Which is bad for my karma as well as yours.

So don’t do it!