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September Self-Portrait
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Category Archives: personal
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Unblogged August
A few things from the last month which I didn’t otherwise write about …
Saturday 1
Just how did we get to August?!
Sunday 2
After 10 years this is apparently the last year that the UCL group are doing the Big Wasp Survey. So of course today I had to set my two traps for this years first round, which means I think I’ve taken part in all 10 years! It’s been a wonderful, and very interesting piece of citizen science which has already enabled several academic publications.
Monday 3
We now have five ripe yellow chillies.
I’m not sure it’s going to be a bumper year, but a few will be good, although we have loads in the freezer.
Tuesday 4
A miracle! 16:30 this afternoon. RAIN! Only a five minute shower but it’s the first we’ve seen in literally weeks. An odd distant rumble of thunder too. Followed by bright sunshine.
Thursday 6
Phew! Monthly finances day – again. And thankfully we’re solvent again this month. As I had hoped, I even managed to put away the small legacy I got from my aunt.
Sunday 9
Wasp traps taken in today. For once this year wasps in both traps. The trap by the pond was especially good with three common wasps (Vespula vulgaris), but also what look like four either parasitic wasps or sawflies – I can’t identify which. The latter are on the right of the image.
Sadly nothing more exciting.
Monday 10
It’s dusk. And our local robin is still singing its heart out in the garden.
Tuesday 11
So having finished the new pavements in the whole road last week, the guys came along this morning and ripped up the area of dropped curb in front of my neighbour’s. Why? I suspect because he didn’t like what they’d done (it was actually OK) and moaned.
Wednesday 12
Solar eclipse day. Sadly not a total eclipse here, but about 95%. And for once I managed to see an astronomical event; there was a clear blue sky and nothing to intervene. Obviously I had got the correct viewing shades. Very nice to watch, especially around maximum. I remember the 1999 eclipse (also only partial) although that day was partly cloudy, so one got some view, without shades, through the cloud. In both cases it was very obvious from the surprising dimming of the light.
Thursday 13
So Heathrow has fallen from being the busiest airport in Europe. Good! Not only do we have to significantly curtail air travel (and filthy shipping, cars, etc.) but it belies the need for the third runway.
Friday 14
New TV installed in the bedroom. Blimey what a fight as we had to change the wall mount which meant even more holes in the wall; luckily concealed by the TV.
Monday 17
Monday gets the week off to a bad start. Stressed early on before hospital appointment, followed by lots of everything conspiring to bugger things up. It’s going to be one of those weeks.
Tuesday 18
Rendered totally incapable today by depression. No obvious reason, but is all of a piece with yesterday. Nothing attempted, so nothing achieved.
Thursday 20
A trip today to a new (to me) hospital. In the 45 years we’ve lived here I’ve never been to the Central Middlesex Hospital although it is only a handful of miles away. Although rebuilt about 10 years ago it is quite a small hospital which does a lot of the local elective surgery. You walk in and the main entrance hall is vast; it feels like you could fit a cathedral in there; and the coffee shop looks big enough to serve a complete army battalion! Outside the main entrance is no different, except that it is a bus station; I lost count of how many bus routes go through there – I counted six without trying. All the staff I came across were really friendly and helpful, which is a refreshing change!
Friday 21
I’ve been really struggling all week, and it’s been a relentless round of appointments etc. It’s not been helped by two consecutive late nights and early morning starts. I know N feels the same, so weekend recuperation is badly needed.
Saturday 22
The Boy Cat has disappeared. I noticed late last evening that he had a huge abscess on the left side of his face, but before we could scoop him up this morning he’d obviously shed drops of blood through the house and gone out in the middle of the night. Writing this evening, he hasn’t been seen since. Oh bugger! Sadly not a lot we can do, except hope he’s OK and will wander back.
Sunday 23
So Boy Cat came in late last evening looking a real mess. He had some attention, a long drink and some food; and buggered off again. He reappeared at lunchtime today looking somewhat less sorry for himself; had a few bits of the ham we were eating, and disappeared again. But he returned at teatime to demolish a bowl of food; and when we were eating he had a lick round the end of the cream tub. If we can, he’d better be kept in tonight until he can go to the V-E-T tomorrow.
Monday 24
So instead of coming with me to the optician, N took Boy Cat to the V-E-T. Boy is OK but has lost quite a bit of weight since Easter, so blood tests done as well as having his face sorted out and sent home with antibiotics and painkillers. And I need new glasses: expensive lenses and expensive frames. The combined cost made a huge dent in the credit card! Ouch!
Friday 28
Today a culinary adventure, which I really should write up. For evening meal I did Chicken Kiev, something I’ve never done before, with a side of pasta with onion, yellow pepper and a little tomato paste. It worked surprisingly well, although the chicken wasn’t exactly beautifully presented – well you try cutting a pocket in a chicken breast without putting the knife through the edges! I followed this with a nectarine and raspberry rustic tart (below), which went down well with cream; and will provide some breakfasts over the coming days.
Sunday 30
Well yesterday it rained steadily, on and off, all day, just as promised. Today we were promised more rain – but where was it? It threatened all day but did nothing. Annoying especially as we hassled around to set the wasp traps for round two of sampling. But while doing the wasp traps I spotted this rather splendid hoverfly.a href=”https://zenmischief.com/wp-content/uploads/hoverfly2.jpg” target=”_blank”>
I think it’s probably a Batman Hoverfly (Myathropa florea) so called from the mask on the back of the thorax.
Monday 31
August Bank Holiday. Yet again a promise of rain which didn’t materialise. Yesterday’s hoverfly confirmed by iNaturalist as a Batman Hoverfly (Myathropa florea); not uncommon and I’ve doubtless seen many before and not realised it.
August Self-Portrait
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A Brief Note on Sexuality
Over on Substack there’s an interesting piece on sexuality from Walking Mermaid:
It’s a long, and rather repetitive, read but worthwhile if only to see how it is possible to approach sexuality and personal freedom despite the constraints of society’s expectations.
A few quick extracts to give the flavour …
… I would want the world to be naked … like, clothes should be optional, but largely people should just be comfortable being naked and just be naked everywhere.
… open conversations about sex are incredibly important. We treat discussions about desire, fantasy, and intimacy as if they are dangerous or inappropriate, yet these experiences are among the most universal aspects of being human … talking about sex should be as ordinary as talking about food, art, or travel. Not because sex is trivial, but because it is normal.
… many of the fears and judgments surrounding sexuality come from silence. The more openly and respectfully we talk about these subjects, the easier it becomes for people to understand themselves and others without shame.
We do not limit our capacity to love friends, family members, or children, so why do we assume there is only one acceptable way to experience romantic love? For me, the foundation of any relationship is trust and transparency. Secrets create shame. Openness creates freedom.
… sexuality is a part of your whole being … And to me, sex is a form of connection rather than, I’m horny tonight, so let’s have penetrative intercourse.
When I see a naked body, I do not immediately see something sexual. I see humanity. I see vulnerability. I see life. That perspective has influenced my work, my photography, and my willingness to be seen authentically. Some of my favourite creative projects have involved exploring the body not as an object, but as an honest expression of self.
I see in this an extension of what one of my university friends (a straightforward, thoughtful, heterosexual guy – not an early-1970s hippie/weirdo) believed: that sex could be just an expression of sincere friendship, like a good hug. It didn’t have to have deeper connotations.
As regular readers will know, I’m very liberal and open-minded – the result of a somewhat bohemian upbringing and being a student in the late-1960s/early-1970s – so all of this reflects very much both how I feel intellectually and how I act. Although sadly, in practical terms, I think my brain has never quite caught up. But it’s still trying, even at 75. Life is nothing if we don’t keep questioning and trying to make progress.
But how do we get the rest of humanity to start thinking so openly?
Unblogged July
A little later than usual … A few things which happened, accosted me, or are noteworthy and which I didn’t otherwise write about this month. And it has been quite a month!
Wednesday 1
Blimey, what a day! At the doctors for blood test and to see our (new) young GP. She decides she doesn’t like the look of my swollen leg, which hasn’t responded to the antibiotics and insists I go to the Infectious Diseases unit at the hospital. That afternoon! Thus totally screwing up the whole day. Hospital nurses and young female consultant very helpful. Doctor prescribes short course of stronger antibiotics, and I’m given them on the spot. We’ll see.
Thursday 2
Why is it that hospital departments cannot talk to each other? So today I get a text telling me to come and pick up my prescription from the hospital pharmacy. I ring them, and they are totally unaware that I was given the antibiotics yesterday, and don’t understand (neither do I) why they’ve been asked to dispense them. In fact the consultant yesterday prescribed a 5 day course of antibiotics, and they then gave me a pack sufficient for 14 days! Meanwhile I spent the whole day catching up on what I needed to do yesterday.
Friday 3
What day is it? As usual my brain thinks it’s Saturday, or Sunday. Help!!!
Sunday 5
What a weekend! I spent all Saturday afternoon and half of Sunday afternoon beating up my brain over sorting all our bank accounts and last year’s interest ready to complete our tax returns. It was partly my fault as my records for the last tax year were nowhere near as good as I thought they were (or as my records usually are). But do I have tax statements from all the banks? Of course not, so you have to dig back through the statements. It’s made even worse because with accounts which mature and which you “renew” some banks keep the existing account number, but others give you a new number. Very confusing. We’ll see how well I have it sorted when I get to complete the tax returns.
Tuesday 7
Phew! Another hot day and a trip to the osteopath. I was, for once, so grateful that the car had good aircon.
Wednesday 8
The gardener cometh, and he spent most of the afternoon working out how to get the drawers out of my filing cabinet/desk drawers (no, it wasn’t a simple pull out and lift!) to remove all the crap that had gone down the back.
Thursday 9
After a semi-successful audiology appointment at lunchtime I spend a “happy” afternoon sorting out the contents of my desk drawers and putting things back. I probably got about two-thirds of the way through; the rest will have to wait until tomorrow. And that’s without even thinking about weeding the paper files. Why is such an apparently easy, sitting down, job is so exhausting?
Sunday 12
Totally lost today. Got up very late and the day ran away from there. Had to make myself do some literary society work this afternoon, but found it very hard to concentrate. No brain power; no body power; everything taking extra effort.
Monday 13
Useful, if unofficial, chat with one of the nurses at the doctors’ when I was there for an ECG. A quiet suggestion that I take the rest of the antibiotics I was given by the hospital for my ankle.
Tuesday 14
I had to smile at lunchtime, on the way to the hospital with N for her appointment … there were quite a few teenage nubiles coming out of Cardinal Wiseman School, wearing crop tops and the skimpiest and tightest shorts possible. And why not; it was a hot sunny day. It gladdened the heart! 😉
Wednesday 15
The day started well, with an outing with friends for brunch. From there it went rapidly downhill with GP panicking because she doesn’t like the ECG I had on Monday and demanding that I go to A&E at once to get assessed. We set off about 18:30 and got back home at 02:00. Of course 90% of that time was spent sitting about waiting between more ECGs, blood tests, x-rays and a very thorough examination. Finally sent home with a referral for follow-up, which will decide if I need more investigations. Fortunately N had heroically volunteered to accompany me, which did make things rather more bearable for both of us; it also saved me from the dreaded football.
Thursday 16
Luckily halfway through last evening I managed to text my osteopath and cancel my appointment for this morning. Well at that point I could quite see them keeping me in hospital. Despite getting that time back I’ve spent the whole day chasing my tail trying to catch up – and I still haven’t; I’ve just about got back to where I should have been last evening. And now I’m fairly tired having had only 4-5 hours sleep last night.
Saturday 18
This evening N caught a Jersey Tiger moth in the kitchen. We released it, unharmed, without stopping to take a photo as it wasn’t going to sit still and food was ready. Tom had reported seeing one in the garden yesterday. They are brilliant moths, see my blog entry from 2020; also this from 2016. They’re such striking, gorgeous moths!
Monday 20
Trip to the osteopath this morning, and I had one of the cab drivers I’ve not seen for some weeks. He turned up in a Tesla, which turned out to be a hire car as some female had driven up the back of his usual car (an electric Kia), and the garage has had it for a month. He’s well fed up about it; but hopefully someone else’s insurance is paying for it. The Tesla was a nice smooth ride, but I’m not sure I like the design.
Tuesday 21
Another hospital trip following on from last Wednesday. Another ECG, more blood tests, and more sitting about for very little. End result a referral for an echo cardiogram and consultant referral – fortunately not urgent as wait is likely to be 8 weeks plus. Another complete day lost. Left home at 10:00; back at home about 15:30. I just had to console myself with an ice cream. 😄
Thursday 23
Well I don’t recall seeing that before, although I shouldn’t be surprised. Coming back today from yet another hospital visit (this time for my back), the van in front of us displayed signage “ABNORMAL LOAD ESCORT”. It diverted off towards our local HS2 construction site, where they’re starting and stopping some of the massive tunnelling machines. One wonders what they’re about to move.
Saturday 25
At last, after a hiatus, I completed the next board of Postcrossing cards: that’s numbers 601-650. Somehow I must find some time to get round to sending some more cards.
Sunday 26
Sunday is a day of rest, is it? Not here. I spent the morning preparing for tomorrow’s literary society meeting in central London, and most of the afternoon completing our tax returns. HMRC are real buggers: they reckon we earn too much and are taking our Winter Fuel payments away, on top of which they not only want the outstanding tax for last year paid, but they want a huge chunk of next year’s tax paid in advance – a significant four-figure sum. As N always says “You can be taxed, fleeced, or robbed – and probably all three”. But both our tax returns completed in a couple of hours as I already had all the data ready and it was not a lot more than updating last year’s returns and carefully checking it. Result!
Monday 27
It was nice to get out today, even if it was into central London. A good, very useful meeting at the V&A (in the café) with literary society people. It over a year since I’ve been in central London (and several years before that); apart from an ever increasing number of huge tower blocks on the periphery, not a lot changes. But disappointingly, despite schools and universities being out for summer, and a hot sunny day, there was a remarkable lack of scantily clad nubile in evidence.
Tuesday 28
Yesterday, going into central London by car, I took my proper camera; I need to get back to taking photographs and get my eye back in. I find seeing and taking grab shots from the passenger seat is quite a good way of doing this. Overall yesterday’s car rides weren’t very exciting for this, but I still managed to take about 60 shots, which today I edited down to 14 possibly worth keeping. Enjoy these two, both taken through the car windscreen (hence some of the misty reflections).
Friday 31
The first ripe yellow chilli of the year!
July Self-Portrait
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Unblogged June
Some things, and thoughts, from June which I didn’t otherwise write about.
Monday 1
Looking at the trail camera shots for the last week I noticed that one of our (at least three) foxes has a striped tail. It was very noticeable side on at a distance, but less so when I saw the fox walking away from the camera. Sadly no useful image as it was low light and a low-res camera.
Tuesday 2
This afternoon we had not one, but two big thunderstorms. The first (about 14:30) was the larger and longer with some really torrential rain. It then drizzled on and off all afternoon until the second storm arrived about 17:00. Then it cleared to leave a nice sunny evening.
Thursday 4
A couple of evenings ago, there was a wonderful fire-breathing dragon in the western sky.
Not a brilliant photo as it was a grab shot, through the window with my phone – and a few minutes earlier the cloud had been less linear and more dragon-like.
Sunday 7
What a dismal day. Grey, windy and should have been raining. Inside I felt completely drained, stressed and depressed. Everything enlivened slightly by an evening meal of steak and chips with a bottle of Champagne.
Monday 8
Phew! We’re solvent again this month.
Friday 12
Spent the last few days fighting off an attack of vertigo. Not the worst attack I’ve had, but enough to stop me doing much.
Monday 15
Still trying to get rid of the last vestiges of the vertigo; it’s left me really drained. Meanwhile Boy Cat had the right idea this morning lying in a sunbeam.
Thursday 18
So yesterday I felt fine; vertigo gone away. Awoke this morning with it back with a vengeance; much worse than last week and ended up horizontal for the majority of the day. So now have a call out with the doctors.
Friday 19
Head feeling a bit better. Weather feeling uncomfortably hot and sticky.
Sunday 21
I’m surprised we haven’t got local Ice Cream Van Wars. We have at least three which seem to tour the locality, each with a more irritating jingle than the last. But they never seem to coincide; maybe they have a rota worked out. (Unless, of course, it is one van with three different jingles.)
Monday 22
So Starmer has chickened out of being PM. Idiot. See my blog post for more thoughts.
Tuesday 23
Blimey, I was woken just after 3 this morning by an epic thunderstorm. Lots of very bright lightening, and massive rolls of thunder, although none right overhead. This went on for at least an hour as I dropped off to sleep again about 4. Heaven knows how much rain we had with it. And then today has been relentlessly hot and humid; so uncomfortable.
Wednesday 24
Record breaking temperatures: the UK’s hottest ever June day. Unbearable.
Thursday 25
It hasn’t felt quite so unbearably hot today, possibly because there’s been a nice breeze all day. It’s just as humid and sticky though. And again record breaking temperatures.
Friday 26
The supermarket have cancelled our weekly delivery today. They say they’ve had “system problems”, whatever that means. I’ve put the order in again for Sunday morning, but had to do an expensive “top up” delivery from the local store – which took them forever to organise. And it all wasted the whole morning. Still at least the supermarket have had the grace to give us £10 off our next order; 20% would have been better compensation.
Saturday 27
The buddleia is in full bloom for several days – so early! – and not a butterfly in sight.
Sunday 28
Phew! Well at least today has been significantly cooler – it’s still warm, but just comfortably summer hot, rather than desert hot. And there’s been a good “seaside” breeze for most of the day. Actually not a bad day to play cricket, although some bowlers wouldn’t have relished the breeze.
In other news, customer services at the supermarket got a fairly snotty email today (not that it will do any good). Our rebooked delivery was scheduled for 11:00-12:00 and finally arrived something after 13:00 with a driver who couldn’t have been less interested and engaged with his job. They’ve not had an impressive weekend.
Monday 29
Out yonder we have a small mulberry bush in a tub and today, for the first time after several years, we had a handful of small black mulberries. There really weren’t enough to do anything with, so I put them in a mixed fruit salad with some raspberries and blueberries (plus a little sugar and a tot of peach schnapps). They worked well and added a little something to the other fruit, although I’d be had pressed to describe the actual taste of the mulberries. Mind you, they don’t half stain; it’s taken several good washes to even start getting the purple dye off the fingers.
Tuesday 30
Yesterday I found myself wearing a pair of shorts almost all day. Yeah, so what? Well it was the first time for a week that I have worn any clothes at all because it has been so hot – except for a couple of hours on Saturday and Sunday when I knew I was likely to have to go to the door. At most times I had a pair of shorts to hand in case the doorbell rang. It’s summer, it’s hot, and I’m always warm (I have a good covering of blubber!), and our house is naturally warm. So why wear clothes? Why not be like this all the time? Oh wait, I do; even in the depths of winter I seldom wear more than a pair of legs and a t-shirt around the house and at this time of year it is at most a pair of shorts. As regular readers will know I can’t be doing with all this fuss about nudity and the like. We all know what’s under each other’s t-shirt and jeans, so really where is the problem. There is no legal prohibition on nudity, either in private or in public, unless one is deliberately causing someone else harassment, alarm or distress, or performing a sexual act – all of which is enshrined in Police and CPS guidance. So be comfortable. Go attired or not as you wish.
June Self-Portrait
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Unblogged May
Big some account of things what I done, but didn’t write about, during the merry month of May.
Saturday 2
So after a lovely dry week or so, this evening it has decided to turn on a deluge. Well of course it did; the gardener put the watering system in yesterday.
Sunday 3
So what happened to the rain we were being promised for today?
Monday 4
Well so much for a holiday weekend. One way and another I’ve spent the whole of the last four days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday and today) working – mostly a combination of literary society stuff and doctors’ patient group stuff, with an added flavouring of household finances and legal thrown in. The literary society people are doing my head in; they cannot follow simple instructions in an email, and cannot think it out for themselves – heaven knows how much time I’ve wasted explaining the obvious to them this weekend.
Wednesday 6
So suddenly the garden is full of roses.
Saturday 9
As usual, according to my brain, yesterday (Friday) was Saturday. When I got up this morning I was convinced it was Monday! And this evening I think it’s Sunday. So now I haven’t a clue. Please send a new brain.
Sunday 10
A report today says that there will be legislation to make GPs and hospitals share their data to create a single patient record, so all the patient’s information is available to every clinician. Well good luck with that. The government tried to make it happen about 30 years ago and failed: it was too difficult and the government wouldn’t listen to advice from the shortlisted IT suppliers. Will it be different this time? I wouldn’t bet on it!
Monday 11
So passenger numbers using Heathrow have fallen 5% in April. And the decrease could be more when the shortage of jet fuel and higher ticket prices really start biting. This is good. We have to stop people (and freight) flying, as it’s the only way to significantly reduce the environmental effects of the airline industry.
Tuesday 12
Over the weekend I completed the next board of 50 Postcrossing cards: here are numbers 551 to 600.
You can find all my boards on my website.
Wednesday 13
What a strange day. Off to the solicitors early, but not too bright, for a document signing session. Coffee afterwards and then caught in the first of several torrential hail storms. Back at home, one hail storm at lunchtime covered a surface outside in a complete layer of ice, and the hailstones were bouncing off the leaves of the trees – all the while several tits were in continual procession to and from a feeder. Ended the day hosting another brilliant literary society online talk.
Thursday 14
Looking out of the window this afternoon at the bright sunshine between the showers, and there are small birds flitting everywhere. Great tits, blue tits, coal tits, house sparrows, greenfinches, robin, that I saw; doubtless others too. Including a few young tits, still demanding to be fed. They must all be nesting very close by: from where they were going the coal tits are nesting 3 or 4 gardens to the north and the great tits 3 or 4 gardens to the south.
Friday 15
Why can political parties not stop in-fighting, get their act together, and keep it together? Too many wannabe prima donnas!
Saturday 16
Eurovision. Is this not the most obscene, fatuous waste of money and resources? What purpose does it serve? Oh, OK! It keeps the lower orders amused and therefore away from creating unrest – remember all those medieval peasant revolts: too many slaves with too little to occupy them. Cake and circuses, dear boy, cake and circuses.
Sunday 17
There are days when the Tilly cat seems to alternate her time between ensuring work is suspended and wedging herself on thee windowsill.
Monday 18
More really pretty tulips from the supermarket …
… and a gorgeous rambler rose from the garden …
Tuesday 19
Depressed. Anxious. Feeling yeuch. No idea why.
Thursday 21
Still the same as Tuesday, and everything is achy. Bah! Humbug!
Saturday 23
Blimey it’s hot.
Sunday 24
It’s even hotter today than yesterday; one local weather station says it’s been 31.9°C, 2°C hotter than yesterday. And the forecast is even hotter tomorrow and Tuesday; then cooling a bit. I slept most of last night with no bedclothes, and it was so hot today that even a cool shower and pints of cold squash and beer didn’t make any difference. I like it warm but this is too much, especially with the humidity is going up.
Monday 25
The large white phalaenopsis orchid I bought in full bloom on 28 November has finally dropped the last of its flowers. I’ve cut off the flower stems and am trying to propagate them, but never having done this before I’m not hopeful. We’ll see.
Tuesday 26
What is it in the Universe that causes us to have “one of those days” – where everything that can conspire to be difficult, or worse, does?
Wednesday 27
Visit this afternoon from two of the literary society officers to understand the size of the society’s archive etc. as they want to develop a plan for moving it away from us. I think they were somewhat surprised at the amount. But blimey it was unbearably hot in the loft.
Thursday 28
Well it might have been a couple of degrees cooler today, but it feels worse because the humidity must be higher. At least the breeze has got up again this evening; the middle of the day was really still after a good refreshing breeze most of last night. We’re promised another couple of fine, but slightly cooler days, but then atheist 10 days of cooler temperatures, rain and possible thunderstorms – which the gardens certainly need. So you just watch everyone complain because it is cold and wet.
Sunday 31
Here endeth the Merry Month of May, so definitely Sumer is icumen in / Lhude sing cuccu. Not that I’ve heard a cuckoo in years, possibly even since I left Norwich in 1976, which is incredibly sad. But cuckoos are still around in rural areas. Every year BTO catch a few cuckoos and put tiny trackers on them in order to better understand their migration to sub-Saharan Africa.
I’ll leave you with another gorgeous rose from our garden this afternoon.
May Self-Portrait
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