Work? What's That?

Like most of the rest of the UK, I have to go back to work tomorrow after a two week break during which I have done nothing, despite my best intentions. But I would really rather not have to go back to work! I’m not at all looking forward to what I fear is going to be a difficult year: a horrible project which is getting worse not better (due to micromanagement from the US) together with an economic climate that suggests there will be no pay raises (again) this year and most likely a further round of downsizing – just as long as I get a decent offer this time; the only question is whether it will be enough to be able to retire early.

But tomorrow will start even before work with an urgent visit to the dentist. Why is it that one always manages to lose a large filling (or worse) over Christmas? Fortunately I don’t mind going to the dentist: it helps that we get on well, can have serious conversations and Jonathan is a seriously brilliant dentist. Just as well because my wallet will be in shock afterwards!

Let’s hope I’m being over-pessimistic.

Predictions for 2009

I’ve found a number of websites which purport to predict what will happen in 2009; for instance here, here and here. All of this looks to me like fairly non-specific commonsense readings of how the prevailing circumstances may develop, which anyone can do.

On that basis, and based partly on these predictions but mainly on my own hunches, here is my reading of what might happen in 2009.

  1. There will be an assassination attempt (possibly more than one) on Barack Obama after his inauguration as US President. There is an evens chance it will succeed.
  2. The Euro will continue to weaken against the dollar; in consequence both France and Germany may threaten to leave the Euro system. Conversely, due to its weak economy, the UK may try again to join the Euro in the mistaken belief it will make things better; it won’t. If this succeeds it will spell a further major downturn in the UK as businesses attempt to use the conversion as a means of increasing their margins at the expense of the customer.
  3. If Gordon Brown makes another major miscalculation (either in terms of policy or the public’s mood) he will be forced out of office resulting in an early General Election. The result will be a hung parliament with a minority Labour government, which because it is unable to get legislation through will end up deepening the economic woes of the UK. However if Gordon Brown escapes further miscalculations the General Election will be between March and May 2010, with the Labour government being returned to office.
  4. Russia will swing back towards Communism and the corruption that goes with it. This leads to a worsening of relations between the US and Russia, with interesting knock-on effects on the US space programme (NASA could abandon manned space exploration).
  5. There will be a major pollution event which threatens thousands of lives somewhere in the world during the year, possibly in France, Spain or India.
  6. There is also likely to be a major dam rupture killing thousands. This will probably be in the Far East (China is most likely). The appropriate government will be accused of not doing enough, quickly enough, to help but in practice it doesn’t care about losing a few thousand of its people. The dam will not be repaired due to the geology and the high cost.
  7. Having had years of drought there will be heavy rains and major flooding across large areas of Australia.
  8. Britain sees a number of its top companies fail; the holiday, aviation, automotive and construction sectors are most at risk. Of the airlines Alitalia, Ryanair and bmi look vulnerable, as do BA and airport operator BAA.
  9. There will be at least two further failures (or at the least major restructurings) amongst the major High Street retailers; choose from Dixons, Morrisons, Halfords, Primark, Iceland, B&Q, Boots, Superdrug, T.K.Maxx. At least two of the top 10 UK supermarket chains will fail and/or merge.
  10. At least one UK High Street bank will also fail. It will not be rescued by the UK government, who will also not allow it to be absorbed by any of the big four banks.
  11. Work will start on the third runway at Heathrow; however it will be abandoned after little more than 2 years (and with upwards of £5bn wasted) due to a major downturn in the aviation sector worldwide.
  12. 2009 will also see the start of serious international lobbying to move the 2012 Olympics away from London in favour of an existing, cheaper, venue – all due to the worldwide economic downturn. A final decision will not be made until late in 2010 or early 2011; it could go either way.
  13. A well known celebrity (possibly Victoria Beckham) will become pregnant with a long awaited daughter, but she will have a life-threatening miscarriage.
  14. On a global note, Pakistan and Iran will continue to be a threat to world peace with both being driven further into the arms of Islamic extremists.
  15. The global economy will continue to have a very bumpy ride in 2009 with a level of stability returning sometime after mid-2010. However this stability will be at a lower level than heretofore as there is a growing global realisation amongst the people that our previous greed has generated the current cycle of gloom. Governments and business leaders will however not see this and will continue to try to ramp economies back to their pre-2008 levels; they will fail.
  16. There is no indication of any truly major earthquake or volcanic event in 2009; the catastrophically big events are still 2-3 years away. That is not to say there won’t be earthquake events, just that they will not be the cataclysmic ones we are all awaiting.

So there you have it – a mixture of my reading of the current environment and some wishful thinking dressed up as a set of predictions. See anyone can do this based on absolutely nothing and it looks authoritative. I hope I have this all wrong (there is no reason it should be right; I have no known special psychic powers) as it is so gloomy. But I shall claim a triumph if I score anything over a 30% hit rate.

Quote: Boring

If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all.

[John Cage]

Zen Mischief Awards for 2008

Here is my personal Honours List for 2008:

Most Annoying Person of the Year: Gordon Brown (together with the whole of the current Cabinet)

Most Dangerous Person of the Year: A tie between Robert Mugabe and George W Bush

Most Boring Event of the Year: Beijing Olympics

Biggest National Disaster of the Year: Government bailout of the banks

Star of the Year: Noreen – for her book, Dictionary of Children’s Clothes, and for still being married to me!

Person with the Least Clue this Year: Gordon Brown

Personal Achievements this Year: (a) I’m still working, (b) I lost 30Kg

Personal Highlight of the Year: Short Break in Germany in February

Personal Lowlights of the Year: (a) Current work project, (b) no major holiday for the second year running, (c) lack of time for the Anthony Powell Society, my family or myself, (d) I put back on 3-4 Kg having lost it.

Personal Unfulfilled Dreams this Year: (a) No golden handshake, (b) no big lottery win, (c) can’t yet retire in comfort.

Medieval Credit Crunch

I always knew there’s nothing new under the sun, but I hadn’t really expected to find out that there was a true medieval credit crunch. But according to News for Medievalists there were indeed problems with the banking system at the time of Edward I in the 1290s. There is indeed nothing new!

My Game Meme


My Game Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.

This mosaic is for the Flickr group My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and 12 questions which you have to answer with a photo from another Flickr photographer — it makes you look some of the other great work on Flickr!

This week the theme is games.
I found this quite hard as I don’t generally do things like board games and party games; they aren’t part of my family’s culture.

Questions and Answers:
1. What is your favorite board game? Scrabble
2. What is your favorite card game? Shopping (with someone else’s credit card) 🙂
3. What is your favorite TV game show? University Challenge
4. Who is your favorite TV game show host? Roland Rat
5. What was your favorite childhood game? Monopoly
6. What is your favorite computer/online game? Flickr
7. What is your favorite Monopoly game piece? I don’t recall what we had, but it wasn’t these modern silver tokens; anyway I always preferred having hotels on Mayfair and Patk Lane!
8. What game do you consistently win at? Failure 🙂
9. What is your favorite party game? Drinking!
10. What is your favorite video game? I don’t have one
11. Who do you like to play games with the most? Me! — that way I get to win
12. What game does your life most resemble? Chaos

And here are links to the individual photos:
1. Scrabble Tile Charm – Theme: Winter, 2. credit cards, 3. University Challenge, 4. Roland Rat Rat Rapping, 5. I LOVE Photo Editing! — Girls Playing Monopoly, 6. Flickr meltdown, 7. Park Lane Hotel, 8. Cascading Failure, 9. Cat drinking at the tap 1, 10. Book of secrets, 11. Color Me Crazy, 12. An Oil Painting of Organized Chaos

Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.

Life after Shopping

The Times; 29/12/2008Today we did something unusual for us — we went shopping, together, to one of our nearby town centres. It could just be the last time we ever do this, given the current economic climate. And also given what we found …

The art shop we particularly went for was shut — for stocktaking; not advised on their website! Unsurprisingly T.K.Maxx were selling cheap clothes and Christmas leftovers; unenticing. Everywhere was much emptier than expected, except Costa Coffee which was full. Coming up for lunchtime and there was hardly a queue for the cashiers in the bank. Woolworth’s was shut; gone. Adams were selling everything at 50% off — not surprising as they won’t be there much longer. I noticed several other closed or boarded up shops. M&S food was only 75% stocked. Noreen wanted some jeans from M&S; no chance of anything she’d wear. WH Smith looked as if it had been ravaged by a herd of hungry wildebeest followed by a troop of starved chimpanzees — oh, sorry they were the shoppers, mostly from the local council estate! Smiths had no newspapers worth reading but thousands of trashy magazines; and coloured pens etc. in at least four different places in the shop. The indoor market was empty.

On the plus side? I eventually found most of the stuff I wanted in Smith’s and a newspaper at the kiosk by the station; I was in an out of the bank in 5 minutes; we were home in time to make our own lunch rather than eat out; and we got the afternoon to do naff all as well. Modified rapture!

Sadly I fear (and I hope I’m wrong) this is the way 2009 is going — downhill all the way. Which puts Libby Purves’s article in today’s Times in interesting perspective. I’m not going to try to precis the article (that would be a stern test for even a master of English language), so follow the link and read it for yourselves. Suffice it to say that the article headings read:

The high street must find life after shopping
We need to rediscover the pleasures of old-fashioned street life, where spending is not the only way to enjoy ourselves

Re-reading that out of context is slightly mind-boggling! Are we really being enjoined to bring back such pleasures as the apprentice boys playing football with a pigs bladder (also known as a yoof brawl) or the ladies of the night? Still I suppose at least the latter do keep money moving round the economy.

Recycle Your Christmas Cards

Those of us who still believe in giving and receiving Christmas cards generate a vast mountain of waste paper every year. This paper is valuable and important because of (a) the number of trees used to make it, (b) its ability to be recycled into more paper products and (c) its potential to occupy valuable landfill and generate greenhouse gasses.

Now I know some people recycle their cards by reusing (parts of) them to make gift tags or other cards. But most of us don’t. So this is a plea … please recycle your Christmas cards!

If you are in the UK** I would ask that you use the scheme run by The Woodland Trust in conjunction with WH Smith, Tesco, TK Maxx and Marks & Spencer. The funds generated from this scheme will be used by The Woodland Trust to plant thousands of trees at sites across the UK – trees which will enhance our enjoyment of the countryside, restore some of Britain’s lost forests and make a major contribution to the reduction of greenhouse gasses.

The scheme’s essential details are:
When: 2-31 January 2009
Where: WH Smith1, Tesco2, TK Maxx and Marks & Spencer3
Why: To create much needed new UK woodland; help to create the largest new native forest in England.
Who: The Woodland Trust
How: Take your cards to bins in participating stores and The Woodland Trust will recycle them and use the proceeds to plant thousands of trees at five UK sites

1 UK mainland WH Smith high street stores (excludes all WH Smith Travel stores, Isle of Wight, Belfast and Channel Islands)
2 Tesco supermarkets plus selected Tesco Express outlets
3 M&S stores plus selected M&S Simply Food outlets

A few more facts from The Woodland Trust’s FAQ:

1. If everyone in the UK recycles just one Christmas card this will generate enough money to plant 15,000 trees – that’s a wood the size of 30 football pitches – and save 1570 tonnes of CO2 equivalent greenhouse gases.

2. In the 12 years this scheme has been running, 600 million cards have been recycled. This has enabled the Woodland Trust to plant 141,000 trees, saving 12,000 tonnes of paper from landfill and preventing 16,000 tonnes of CO2 from going into the atmosphere.

3. The UK is one of the least wooded countries in Europe with just 12% woodland cover compared to the European average of 44%. Only one-third of UK woodland is wildlife rich broadleaf woodland, something The Woodland Trust is aiming to double.

4. The Woodland Trust is the UK’s leading woodland conservation charity with 300,000 members and supporters. The Trust has four key aims: (a) No further loss of ancient woodland; (b) Restoring and improving the biodiversity of woods; (c) Increasing new native woodland; (d) Increasing people’s understanding and enjoyment of woodland. Established in 1972, the Woodland Trust now has over 1,100 sites across the UK in its care covering approximately 20,000 hectares (50,000 acres). Access to its sites is free. Further information can be found at http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/.

What about Christmas wrapping paper and Christmas trees? These are not included in the scheme but most local authorities in the UK have schemes for recycling these too. For instance my borough collects Christmas trees at about 20 key sites (mostly local open spaces) across the borough and then composts the trees. And non-plasticised gift wrap can be recycled with other paper recycling.

** If you’re not in the UK then please hunt out the equivalent scheme in your country and at least make sure your Christmas cards, wrapping paper and Christmas trees don’t end up in landfill.