New Endings, New Beginnings

Well there it is then. Late yesterday evening, after the eulogies, the presents, the flowers and the party, I finally managed to prise Noreen away from the bomb site known as her museum office, for the very last time.


The car on the way home looked more like a flower shop than a taxi.

So we are both now persons of much time and leisure but no money. Good sleep, no alarm clocks and a lovely sunny day bode well for the future. Culture shock all round!

We celebrate next week by having the guys in to gut and rebuild the bathroom. Should be a fun mess!

Characters One has Known

Those of you who have met me and know me at all well have probably heard me talk of the “old boy” who was our local builder when I was a kid. He was called Maurice Maxfield and to an average child seemed aged, although he would have been only a few years older than my parents. In fact I also remember Maurice’s father (Charles), although as he died when I was about 9 I doubt I ever spoke with him. Despite always looking fairly disreputable (well he was a builder) Maurice was a real gentleman and a confirmed bachelor; he would always tip his hat to my mother, even from the other side of the High Street!

A lot of this was brought back to me recently as I found a copy of a book** on the local characters of Cheshunt and Waltham Cross where I lived. What follows are some edited quotes about Maurice from the book; some of the things they relate I didn’t know.

Maurice Charles Maxfield was born in Trinity Lane (his father, Charles Maxfield, who came to Waltham Cross in 1888, was born in Yorkshire, in 1873). On the death of his father in 1960, Maurice carried on the family business in the building trade, first established in 1850. Maurice Maxfield owned around fifteen houses in ‘the lane’. His main hobby was his electric organ, which he had built in his home. ‘The Mighty Maxwell’ organ was an enormous construction, stretching from the ground floor to the attic.

Maurice hated television, but he took an interest in local affairs. He died on the 9th of March, 1995 at the age of eighty-four […]

From Ron Bunting (one of Maurice’s tenants):

He was a very sentimental man, who kept a low profile. But he looked after himself quite well, with the help of all his lady friends, who also took good care of him! He used to get Loganberry wine and Mince tarts from me. Yes! he was well liked and well loved in ‘the lane’ […]

Maurice loved skating and often went skating at Richmond ice rink [quite a trek across London even now!]. He was a great fan of Sonja Heini, whom he once met. And about twenty years ago we had a very severe winter with lots of snow and ice around, and Maurice, finding his old-fashioned ice skates, was to be seen boldly skating up and down Trinity Lane.

From John White, who I remember as one of Maurice’s workmen:

I come from a little village called Wyke near Bradford in Yorkshire. I came down to Cheshunt just before the war in June 1936 and I [worked] for Maurice […] from 1947 till 1995 […]

I remember Maurice s father, Charles, and his mother well. His mother was a Miss Storey before she married, and her mother and father ran a baker’s shop at the top of Windmill Lane.

Maurice had two cars, a Ford model ‘A’ and his father’s car, a 1927 Clyno. Maurice […] drove the old Ford around, with all his building ladders on board, he didn’t seem too bothered about its value or its age.

Maurice played in cricket matches and his father was president of the Cheshunt Cricket Club, with Maurice as the vice-president.

Maurice also sang with his father in the choir at Christ Church and later played the church organ there. He built an organ in his home […] the inner works of which has 200 valves in it. If it was taken out of the house, they would have to remove a window and half the wall with it. Maurice used to play the organ every Sunday night, until about two months before he died.

From Bryan Hewitt:

I knew Maurice Maxfield during the last ten years of his life […] His mind was quite extraordinary as was his house. His propensity for trotting out unsolicited vintage local scandal and historical fact was staggering […]

Maurice’s house was spooky. With its verandah and bell-pull, it reminded me of the time when I did a paper-round there in the early 1970s. I thought then that the house was a cross between Herman Munster’s and the Boo Radley House in To Kill a Mockingbird.

The gates to the yard on the left-hand side as you face the house consisted of the cast iron ends of a Victorian bedstead, complete with casters! Beyond his vegetable patch was his two storey workshop, built from corrugated iron.

At the opposite end of his massive garden stood his air-raid shelter. Dotted around the garden were bits of carved masonry mostly of an ecclesiastical nature. No doubt Maurice had saved them in the course of his building career. In his office at the front of the house, he had on the desk a candlestick telephone (still working). The room was panelled in dark oak which he had built. None of the rooms were large, but all suffered from insufficient light and the need of a jolly good dust! The kitchen was a health hazard, as was Maurice’s handkerchief. Bakelite electrical plugs hung precariously on their fabric-coated wires from the wall.

[…] Strangely there was a communication tube which connected the kitchen with the master’s bedroom. Sealing the tube was a whistle, which you blew, in order to catch the attention of the person at the other end.

Famously, there was the organ which Maurice Maxfield had built in the cluttered front room. He told me that he had started building it in 1947, and still had not finished it in 1982, because of small details yet to be added […]

When Maurice died, Peter Rooke [another local historian, who I also remember] and I gained permission from his family […] to remove anything of local interest and hand it over to the [local] Museum. It was an Aladdin’s Cave! There were masses of local photographs, some of which were of the Cheshunt cricket team, there were old programmes, local ephemera and his precious sign, all of which were saved […]

Of course we must not forget the two vintage cars that Maurice drove. Both cars were from the 1920s. One was a Clyno, which I am led to believe was one of only five left in the world; the other was a Ford model ‘A’ and it was not unusual to see him driving it about for work, with his ladders, and several feet of plank sticking out ungraciously from the rear of the car […] In his 70s and 80s, he was going to lots of vintage car rallies as far afield as the USA. Maurice Maxfield was also an expert skater and had once partnered the Norwegian film star, Sonja Heini (1910-1969).


Maurice Maxfield (right) with his father (Charles) and their cars in Trinity Lane. The left hand car is the Ford Model A and the one on the right the 1927 Clyno. The small gable roof (with 3 windows) just visible behind the Clyno is the front of Maurice’s house. This must have been taken in the mid-to-late ’50s as the road has clearly been well surfaced which it wasn’t when my parents moved there in 1950.
The cars were amazing. The Ford Model A, dating as I recall from 1920, was a deep polished blue, and was indeed always seen with ladders and planks protruding from the back of the soft top (which I never saw down).

The 1927 Clyno was an equally polished deep green (darker than British Racing Green) and always immaculate as it was only ever used on Sundays and special occasions. Again it was a soft top.

Maurice once gave me a lift home from the shopping centre in the Ford. We chugged the mile or so at a very stately pace even for the time (probably early ’70s); I could almost have walked it as quickly, but I wasn’t going to turn down the chance of such a ride. I noticed that the speedo had a top speed of 40mph; I don’t think we got up above 15mph! And Maurice used to regularly drive from north London to Yorkshire for the weekend in these cars! I also remember him saying that even in the ’60s and ’70s spares were not a problem: the c
ars were so simple if he couldn’t buy a part he could make it!

The picture above is typical of Maurice. It had to be really tropical before he dispensed with his grubby-looking overcoat and he was never without his trilby. I also remember him riding along the lane on his father’s old “sit up and beg” bicycle. He also had a hardcart which he trundled around carrying building materials. He would go anywhere for a vintage car rally or to hear or play a church organ.

My mother was another who, in a small way, looked after Maurice and benefited from his generosity. Every summer he’d say “Mrs Marshall there are more strawberries in the garden than I’ll eat. Just wander in any time and help yourself.” So we had a supply of strawberry jam and of course Maurice had a few pots as well. It was a similar story with the grapes on his vine and the quinces.

One final story. I remember him once telling me that he went to Hertford Grammar School in the 1920s (the best part of 15 miles away and the nearest grammar school). He had to walk across the fields and marsh to Cheshunt Station (a good 1½ miles), get the (slow) steam train to Hertford and then walk from the station to school (probably another 10 minutes). And he did this return journey, every day, 6 days a week (yes, grammar school on Saturday mornings in those days!) and in all weathers.

They don’t make them like that any more!

** Dave Field; Cheshunt: Its People, Past and Present; Gaillet Press (2000); pp 47-55

[13/52] Magnolia

[13/52] Magnolia
Week 13 entry for 52 weeks challenge.

This is the magnificent magnolia in the churchyard outside St James’s, Piccadilly, London. Taken against the backdrop of the church, which was designed by Sir Christopher Wren but much restored.

The church also contains a small memorial to the poet, artist and mystic William Blake (28 November 1757 – 12 August 1827) who was baptised there on 11 December 1757.

The churchyard of St James’s hosts an Antiques Market on Tuesdays and an Arts & Crafts Market on Wednesday to Saturday. I’ve not been to the former, but the latter is definitely worth a visit if you’re present hunting and especially in the run-up to Christmas. There is also a coffee shop and the church itself is almost always open.

Quotes of the Week

A better selection of quotes this week, which reflects a more varied weeks reading.

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can’t see them.
[Steve Eley]

When you run into something interesting, drop everything else and study it.
[Psychologist BF Skinner]

We all are born mad. Some remain so.
[Samuel Beckett]

Physicists. Just because you’re not smart enough to know what the fuck they’re talking about doesn’t mean God exists.
[]

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
[Stephen Roberts]

Children are naïve – they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you’re asking for trouble.
[Frank Zappa]

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.
[Frank Zappa; Statement to the Senate Hearing on “Porn Rock”; 1985]

I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the sea shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than the ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
[Isaac Newton]

You can’t always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.
[Frank Zappa]

Just as long as that giraffe is made of choux pastry and dipped in chocolate! Might be best if it doesn’t mate with a pink unicorn too. 🙂

Prime or Not?

I came across this on the intertubes earlier. It may amuse those of a more scientific bent …

Several people are asked to prove that all odd integers greater than 2 are prime.

  • Post-graduate mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Ha! A counterexample.
  • Undergraduate mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime… so by induction, all subsequent odd integers are prime.
  • Statistician: Let’s verify this on several randomly selected odd numbers, say, 23, 47, and 83.
  • Computer scientist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, segmentation fault?
  • Computer programmer: 3 is prime, 3 is prime, 3 is prime, 3 is prime…
  • Physicist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is prime…
  • Mechanical engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is approximately prime, 11 is prime…
  • Civil engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime…
  • Biologist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is… still awaiting results…
  • Psychologist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime but suppresses it, 11 is prime…
  • Economist: 2 is prime, 4 is prime, 6 is prime…
  • Politician: Shouldn’t the goal really be to create a greater society where all numbers are prime?
  • Sarah Palin: What’s a prime?


I especially like the Physicist and Mechanical Engineer ones.

Coffee Houses

Now we all know the importance of coffee houses in the history of our society – Lloyds of London (the insurance market-makers) was started in a coffee house in 1774. By this time the coffee house had been in existence for well over 100 years having been started in London in 1652. Slightly surprisingly the Commonwealth government were in favour of coffee houses as they didn’t provide intoxicating liquor.

But like all good British institutions they had their rabbleous side. I came across this last evening:

There was a rabble going hither and thither, reminding me of a swarm of rats in a ruinous cheese-store. Some came, others went; some were scribbling, others were talking; some were drinking [coffee], some smoking, and some arguing; the whole place stank of tobacco like the cabin of a barge. On the corner of a long table, close by the armchair, was lying a Bible. Beside it were earthenware pitchers, long clay pipes, a little fire on the hearth, and over it the high coffee pot. Beneath a small bookshelf, on which were bottles, cups, and an advertisement for a beautifier to improve the complexion, was hanging a parliamentary ordinance against drinking and the use of bad language. The walls were decorated with gilt frames, much as a smithy is decorated with horseshoes. In the frames were rarities; phials of a yellowish elixir, favourite pills and hair tonics, packets of snuff, tooth powder made from coffee grounds, caramels and cough lozenges.

This is by one Ned Ward writing in the 1690s and quoted in Jonathan Bastable, Voices from the World of Samuel Pepys. Not so much different from your average Starbuck’s really.

[12/52] Delirium

[12/52] Delirium

Week 12 entry for 52 weeks challenge.

This was a grab shot from the car while waiting at traffic lights at Greenford Broadway last weekend. I was attracted by the wonderfully colourful primulas (they must be Primula locus-concilium they are such a favourite of local authority Parks & Gardens Departments) in the Spring sunshine.

This wobbly processed form is about how I saw the picture at the time as I was just starting a high fever from some nasty flu-cum-bronchitis-bug-thingy that seems to be doing the rounds here at present. This bug is nasty. Noreen is now four weeks into it and is still not 100%. I thought I’d got away with it (just had a bit of malaise for a few days when Noreen was first down with it). But no, it mugged me and I have spent a large part of the last week snuggled under the duvet trying to get rid of a fever and graveyard cough and feeling like … well let’s not go there. I now feel bodily coldy; still totally depleted of everything both mental and physical; still with a cough, although that is going slowly; but today almost no voice.

But then I have just put away a hearty salad of pulled lamb, lamb’s lettuce, tomato and avocado with a couple of large glasses of white Burgundy (first alcohol in over a week!) which does somewhat restore the soul if not the body.

Quotes of the Week

Slightly thin pickings this week as I’ve been flattened by some nasty flu-cum-bronchitis-bug-thingy all week which has precluded almost everything except lying in bed being date expired.

In the past, when marriage was a more pragmatic institution, love was optional. Respect was essential. Men and women found emotional connection elsewhere, primarily in same-sex relationships. Men bonded over work and recreation; women connected through child rearing and borrowing sugar.
Esther Perel; Mating in Captivity: Sex, Lies and Domestic Bliss]

Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.
[Richard Feynman]

We still live in a world where progress only happens with funerals.
[Violet Blue]

Every law is an infraction of liberty.
[Jeremy Bentham]

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
[Rita Rudner]