Category Archives: topographical

amusements, current affairs, topographical

You Really Didn't Want to Do That!

I’ve been reminded recently that English law contains many curious, ancient and still extant statutes. The following examples are culled from the endlessly interesting The Strange Laws of Old England by Nigel Cawthorne (Piatkus, 2004).

First, there are many curious statutes surrounding Parliament and the monarchy:

  • Under a law of 1324 all whales belong to the monarch as do all swans unless they are on the River Thames and marked as belonging to either the Vintners’ Company and the Dyers’ Company.
  • Under the Treason Act of 1351 anyone who do violate the king’s companion, or the king’s eldest daughter unmarried, or the wife of the king’s eldest son is committing treason – as of course would be the violated party.
  • Parliament is still technically allowed to burn books but under Section 39 of the Malicious Damage act of 1861 others persons are not.
  • Under a law of 1313 MPs are forbidden to wear armour in Parliament. However they may play roulette in the lobbies.
  • If any Jew becomes Prime Minister, under the Jews Relief Act of 1858 he (or presumably she) is not allowed to advise on the appointment of any ecclesiastical post in the Churches of England, Ireland and Scotland, with the duty devolving on the Archbishop of Canterbury. Roman Catholics are similarly barred but not Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs or Buddhists.

Many cities and towns have peculiarities enshrined either in statute law of their bye-laws. For instance:

  • In Hertford a wife has the right to throw out her husband’s stash of girlie magazines, adult movies and any other material of a sexual nature.
  • In Bristol it is illegal to have sex while lying underneath a car. (But inside it is OK.)
  • If a man takes a woman out for a drive in Leeds on a Sunday he is prohibited from making any suggestion of an amorous nature while he is driving – but only if he’s driving a car; any other vehicle is OK.
  • Couples in Edinburgh may not have sex in cars parked in car parks or on public streets. But it is OK if the car is parked on their own property as long as the act is committed on the back seat.

As one would expect London has a peculiar set of laws all its own …

  • Freemen of the City of London have various privileges including the right to herd sheep over London Bridge (which they still exercise from time to time), being allowed to go about the City with a drawn sword and if convicted of a capital offence they have the right to be hanged with a silken cord.
  • According to an old City ordinance it is illegal to check into a London hotel under assumed names for the purpose of having sex. It is also illegal to have sex in trains, buses, parked cars, churchyards, churches and parks. (But apparently it is OK in a moving car as long as one continues to drive with due care and attention.)
  • Many house-proud Londoners unwittingly break the law every day. Under section 60 of the wide-ranging Metropolitan Police Act of 1839 it is an offence to beat or shake any carpet, rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District although it is permitted to shake out a doormat as long as you do it before eight o’clock in the morning.
  • The same Act imposes a similar fine on every person who shall empty or begin to empty a privy between the hours of six in the morning and twelve at night, or remove along any thoroughfare any night soil, soap lees, ammoniacal liquor or other such offensive matter, between the hours of six in the morning and eight in the evening, or who shall at any time use for any such purpose any cart or carriage not having a proper covering, or who shall carelessly slop or spill any such offensive matter. (And quite right too!)
  • The slaughtering or dressing of cattle in the streets remains illegal, except if the animal concerned has been run over by the person who is doing the slaughtering or dressing. Moreover Metropolitan Streets Act of 1867 forbids the driving of cattle down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM without prior approval from the Commissioner of Police.
  • In view of the foregoing it is hardly surprising the Londoners are not allowed to keep a pigsty in the front of their houses.
  • And now for something completely odd … It is unlawful for anyone who lives within a mile of any arsenal or store for explosives to possess a pack of playing cards.
  • What few Londoners know is that it is illegal to hail a cab while it is in motion – technically you must go to a cab rank or place appointed. All taxi ranks are still required to have a water trough so the horses could take a drink.
  • The cabby is should ask each of his passengers, and he should carry out an on-the-spot medical examination, to determine if they are suffering from any notifiable disease such as smallpox or the plague as conveying sufferers is illegal. And if a passenger were to pass away during the journey he would be committing another offence as it is illegal for a taxi driver to carry corpses or rabid dogs.
  • The cabby is also required to carry out a thorough search of his vehicle before allowing his fare to go on their way as it is the cabby’s responsibility, not the passenger’s, to see that nothing is left behind.

More generally …

  • In a judgement of 1881 Mr Justice Kessel, then Master of the Rolls, decreed that a creditor may accept anything in settlement of a debt except a lesser amount of money as this would constitute a nudum pactum or one-sided contract. (In English law a contract has to be of material benefit to both parties.)
  • An Act of 1405 instructed every parish that ran its own affairs to have a set of stocks and decreed that any village without stocks be downgraded to a mere hamlet. And yes, this is still in force!
  • When celebrating Guy Fawkes’s Night it remains permissible for children to go door to door collecting “a penny for the guy” only with the written permission of the local Chief Constable of Police.


And finally … It remains illegal to impersonate Chelsea Pensioner.

environment, history, links, music, personal, pleasures, sexuality, thoughts, topographical

Weekly Interesting Links

OK guys & gals, so here’s another weekly, but doubtless occasional, new series — links to interesting sites I’ve come across during the week but which haven’t made it into a full posting.

An article by my friend Potter-san on the Soul of Okinawan Music. The music of Okinawa (the southern-most tropical islands of Japan) is a fun eclectic mix of their native music and just about anything they can import. Try it! I was surprised how much of it I liked.

Also advance information on the London Okinawa Day 2011 on Saturday 25 June. I’ve never managed to get to this annual event but it sounds like it should be a fun day. Anyone want to get together a party of us?

On a totally different subject, a thought-provoking item Should Young Teens be Prescribed Hormonal Contraception? by Prof. Kate Clancy. All the more powerful because Clancy is American and her stance is totally contrary to the prevailing American ethic of total teenage abstinence.

If you are interested in your family history and have forebears who worked on the railway you might be interested in the Railway Ancestors FHS.

In view of the week’s biggest event (at least here in the UK) history buffs may be interested in Medieval Weddings.

One of the most misunderstood areas of the law as it affects anyone involved in literary or artistic ventures is copyright. Fortunately the British Library describe the duration of UK copyright in one easy flowchart. But I suspect I shall have to continue to explain intellectual property law even to our literary society trustees. 🙁

And finally, here’s a super eco-idea: use cardboard packaging impregnated with seeds to rejuvenate the environment. No sorry you can’t have the idea, it’s already been done by Life Box.

beliefs, food+drink, people, quotes, science, thoughts, topographical

Quotes of the Week

Here’s this week’s selection of words that have caught my eye in the last week …

We’ve replaced the time we used to spend cooking food with watching people cook food on TV.
[Fiona Yeudall quoted in “Foodies: Are food crazies getting their just desserts?”, The Globe and Mail, 19 March 2011]


“No data yet,” he answered. “It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgement.”
[Arthur Conan Doyle, The Complete Sherlock Holmes]

It is important to reflect on the kindness of others. Every aspect of our present well-being is due to others’ hard work. The buildings we live and work in, the roads we travel, the clothes we wear, and the food we eat, are all provided by others. None of them would exist but for the kindness of so many people unknown to us.
[Dalai Lama]

London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.
[Arthur Conan Doyle, The Complete Sherlock Holmes]

Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.
[Richard Feynman]

I grew convinc’d that truth, sincerity and integrity in dealings between man and man were of the utmost importance to the felicity of life.
[Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography]

If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.
[Bob Basso]

Marshall’s corollary to the last: If it isn’t fun, don’t do it.

environment, history, topographical

Ancient Awesome

No, not me! Only one of those adjectives applies to me. It is ancient peoples who continue to surprise us by their abilities and their foresight.

A couple of weeks ago I came across this on Good and its progenitor article at The Canadian Press.

As we know, Japan has recently suffered a huge earthquake and subsequent tsunami. Construction codes for major buildings in Japan mean new build is relatively earthquake safe, but older domestic buildings in remote areas don’t have this advantage. Japan is used to earthquakes and the population are well drilled for them.

Japan also should be used to tsunami as they often follow (the right type of) earthquakes. And yet there is no civil planning for tsunami. But once upon a time there was tsunami planning!

Sometimes hidden, more often ignored, there are hundreds of stone tablets along the coast of Japan warning people about tsunami. Many of these tablets are 600 or more years old and carry inscriptions such as

If an earthquake comes, beware of tsunamis

and tellingly

High dwellings are the peace and harmony of our descendants. Remember the calamity of the great tsunamis. Do not build any homes below this point.

This later is on a tablet (pictured above) in Aneyoshi which this year saved the lives of the village’s inhabitants — all of Aneyoshi’s houses are built on higher ground. As one 12-year-old said:

Everybody here knows about the markers. We studied them in school. When the tsunami came, my mom got me from school and then the whole village climbed to higher ground.

Sadly this was not the case in many other towns and villages along Japan’s NE coast, even where there are ancient warning tablets. After the earthquake many people went back to their homes to get their valuables, including children, only to be caught by the tsunami.

So how is it we forget the wisdom of the ancients? Apparently it takes three generations for memories of disasters to fade. Disaster survivors pass on the memories to their children and grandchildren, but after that the knowledge isn’t maintained. Clearly the ancients knew this and erected warning tablets to remind their descendants. We, of course, ignore them; there hasn’t been such a disaster in living memory, so we think we know better.

Maybe we ought to take more notice of the wisdom of the ancients? Maybe it really is time we started learning practical things from history?

amusements, current affairs, history, topographical

Bales of Straw – Only in England!

Between about 18th and 30th April, if you are in central London, it may be worth visiting Tower Bridge for an unusual sight.

The details are in the Port of London Authority Notice (PDF file). Basically work is to be done on a couple of arches of Tower Bridge by men on ropes dangling from the the arches which will on some days be closed to navigation. At other times the arches may still be open to navigation but with reduced headroom when the byelaw requires that the Bridge Master hang a bale of straw “large enough to be conspicuous” from the centre of the arch by day (and a white light by night).

And of course one must not forget that Tower Bridge is officially registered as a ship.

Surely only in this country do we have such arcane, and legally enacted, requirements!

Hat-tip: Ian Visits

beliefs, books, current affairs, history, people, thoughts, topographical

Quotes of the Week

Another good selection this week as I’ve been catching up on all sorts of bits of reading.

Tax is imposed by parliament, people and corporations do not pay it voluntarily. The state coerces as much money as possible in the form of tribute to pay for the services and goods the state feels that it requires.
[brianist in a comment at http://www.badscience.net/2011/04/anarchy-for-the-uk-ish/]

The [fifth] duke [of Portland (1800-1879)], a notable eccentric landlord, gave each of his workmen a donkey and an umbrella, so they could travel to work in all weathers. He insisted that they should not salute or show him the slightest deference, and had a roller-skating rink especially constructed for their recreation.
[Mike Pentelow & Marsha Rowe; Characters of Fitzrovia; Pimlico Books (2001)]

Divorced, unemployed, and pissed
I aimed low in life – and missed.
[Prof. Ray Lees quoted in Mike Pentelow & Marsha Rowe; Characters of Fitzrovia]

Then we got softer clay and both of us turned out some quite nice little bowls and pots. It’s fearfully exciting when you do get it centred and the stuff begins to come up between your fingers. V[anessa Bell] never would make her penises long enough, which I thought very odd. Don’t you?
[Roger Fry to Duncan Grant quoted in Mike Pentelow & Marsha Rowe; Characters of Fitzrovia]

My dear, could you advance me a quid? There’s the most beautiful Gl passed out stone cold and naked as a duck in my kitchen.
[Nina Hamnett quoted in Mike Pentelow & Marsha Rowe; Characters of Fitzrovia. The image on the right is a torso of Nina Hamnett by sculptor Henri Gaudier-Brzeska now in the Tate Gallery; Modigliani is supposed to have said (and Nina Hamnett oft repeated) that she had “the best tits in Europe”.]

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
[Will Rogers]

Relax. There are no gods and you are not going to burn in hell.
[Atheist in America at www.flamewarrior.com]

Each age finds in its favourite crimes images of what it would most love/hate to do. Our own generation of overworked, guilty, child-dominated couples makes of child-abduction the ultimate horror, perhaps because with a dark part of themselves they wish their children dead. The favourite Edwardian murder was undoubtedly centred upon adultery in the suburbs.
[AN Wilson, After the Victorians]

If any demonstration was needed that the battles of Ypres, Mons, Verdun, the Somme had been lunatic, it was provided in summer 1917 at Passchendaele, when Sir Douglas Haig launched an attack against the Messines Ridge south of Ypres. It was a repeat performance of the other acts of mass-slaughter: 240,000 British casualties, 70,000 dead, with German losses around 200,000. By a second attack, in November 1917, on Cambrai, Haig took the Germans by surprise and gained about four miles of mud. Ten days later the German counter-attack regained all their lost ground. If ever there was an object lesson in the folly of war, the sheer pointlessness, here it was shown in all its bloodiness.
[AN Wilson, After the Victorians]

arts, current affairs, history, memes, personal, photography, topographical

[13/52] Magnolia

[13/52] Magnolia
Week 13 entry for 52 weeks challenge.

This is the magnificent magnolia in the churchyard outside St James’s, Piccadilly, London. Taken against the backdrop of the church, which was designed by Sir Christopher Wren but much restored.

The church also contains a small memorial to the poet, artist and mystic William Blake (28 November 1757 – 12 August 1827) who was baptised there on 11 December 1757.

The churchyard of St James’s hosts an Antiques Market on Tuesdays and an Arts & Crafts Market on Wednesday to Saturday. I’ve not been to the former, but the latter is definitely worth a visit if you’re present hunting and especially in the run-up to Christmas. There is also a coffee shop and the church itself is almost always open.

history, topographical

Coffee Houses

Now we all know the importance of coffee houses in the history of our society – Lloyds of London (the insurance market-makers) was started in a coffee house in 1774. By this time the coffee house had been in existence for well over 100 years having been started in London in 1652. Slightly surprisingly the Commonwealth government were in favour of coffee houses as they didn’t provide intoxicating liquor.

But like all good British institutions they had their rabbleous side. I came across this last evening:

There was a rabble going hither and thither, reminding me of a swarm of rats in a ruinous cheese-store. Some came, others went; some were scribbling, others were talking; some were drinking [coffee], some smoking, and some arguing; the whole place stank of tobacco like the cabin of a barge. On the corner of a long table, close by the armchair, was lying a Bible. Beside it were earthenware pitchers, long clay pipes, a little fire on the hearth, and over it the high coffee pot. Beneath a small bookshelf, on which were bottles, cups, and an advertisement for a beautifier to improve the complexion, was hanging a parliamentary ordinance against drinking and the use of bad language. The walls were decorated with gilt frames, much as a smithy is decorated with horseshoes. In the frames were rarities; phials of a yellowish elixir, favourite pills and hair tonics, packets of snuff, tooth powder made from coffee grounds, caramels and cough lozenges.

This is by one Ned Ward writing in the 1690s and quoted in Jonathan Bastable, Voices from the World of Samuel Pepys. Not so much different from your average Starbuck’s really.

food+drink, medical, memes, personal, photography, science, topographical

[12/52] Delirium

[12/52] Delirium

Week 12 entry for 52 weeks challenge.

This was a grab shot from the car while waiting at traffic lights at Greenford Broadway last weekend. I was attracted by the wonderfully colourful primulas (they must be Primula locus-concilium they are such a favourite of local authority Parks & Gardens Departments) in the Spring sunshine.

This wobbly processed form is about how I saw the picture at the time as I was just starting a high fever from some nasty flu-cum-bronchitis-bug-thingy that seems to be doing the rounds here at present. This bug is nasty. Noreen is now four weeks into it and is still not 100%. I thought I’d got away with it (just had a bit of malaise for a few days when Noreen was first down with it). But no, it mugged me and I have spent a large part of the last week snuggled under the duvet trying to get rid of a fever and graveyard cough and feeling like … well let’s not go there. I now feel bodily coldy; still totally depleted of everything both mental and physical; still with a cough, although that is going slowly; but today almost no voice.

But then I have just put away a hearty salad of pulled lamb, lamb’s lettuce, tomato and avocado with a couple of large glasses of white Burgundy (first alcohol in over a week!) which does somewhat restore the soul if not the body.