Category Archives: sexuality

beliefs, current affairs, medical, science, sexuality

On Legalising Sex Work

In the UK, as in much of the English-speaking world sex work (selling sexual acts for money) is illegal, although there are naturally nuances of the law defining where the boundaries are. But this is not the case in many other countries and, somewhat surprisingly, it isn’t the case in the entire English-speaking world.

There’s an interesting article by Kate McCombs over at My Sex Professor about sex work in the Australian state of Victoria where it is both legal and regulated. And it isn’t as if Australia is any less puritanical than the UK or USA.

I’m not going to reproduce the whole of McCombs article (you can read it for yourself) but what follows is a summary with a few observations of my own.

To be legal sex workers must be consenting and over 18 which is achieved through registration of individuals, brothels and escort agencies. Street-based sex work is illegal for both worker and client but, of course, hasn’t been entirely eliminated – and frankly never will be. (Any legalised and regulated activity will always have someone prepared to work outside it, for whatever reason.)

All sex workers in Victoria are required to undergo monthly checks for chlamydia, gonorrhoea and trichomonas; and quarterly tests for HIV and syphilis. (You can’t enforce that without a registration system, which of course also has the side benefit that it brings the sex workers within the tax system!) Legal sex workers have significantly lower rates of all STIs than the general population of the state. What’s interesting is that the few STI cases which do occur among legal sex workers almost all derive from their partners and not from clients.

While there is still stigma and discrimination within the healthcare system this is an improving situation. State police are formally trained about sex worker rights and take charges against clients seriously. Consequently sex workers can make decisions based on their own safety without fear of legal reprecussions.

This is all supported by good education for the sex workers about their rights, navigating the health and legal systems, and what to do if they’re the victim of a crime. This education incorporates feedback from the sex workers themselves, which further helps drive the positive outcomes.

The police believe sex workers themselves (both legal and illegal) are one of the best resources for reducing trafficking, which remains illegal. Apparently sex workers do inform the police when coerced or underage work is happening in their areas.

Overall it seems that compared with the more normal prohibitive situation, the approach of Victoria has well researched public health benefits, based as it is on laws which help keep people safe and reduce stigma for both worker and client. Surely this has to be a better way forward?

amusements, current affairs, quotes, sexuality

Quotes of the Week

Here’s this week’s selection …

Balian of Ibelin: [to the people of Jerusalem] It has fallen to us, to defend Jerusalem, and we have made our preparations as well as they can be made. None of us took this city from Muslims. No Muslim of the great army now coming against us was born when this city was lost. We fight over an offence we did not give, against those who were not alive to be offended. What is Jerusalem? Your holy places lie over the Jewish temple that the Romans pulled down. The Muslim places of worship lie over yours. Which is more holy?
[pause]
Balian of Ibelin: The wall? The Mosque? The Sepulchre? Who has claim? No one has claim.
[raises his voice]
Balian of Ibelin: All have claim!
Bishop, Patriarch of Jerusalem: That is blasphemy!
Almaric: [to the Patriarch] Be quiet.
Balian of Ibelin: We defend this city, not to protect these stones, but the people living within these walls.
[From the film Kingdom of Heaven; 2005]

When statesmen forsake their own private conscience for the sake of their public duties they lead their country by a short route to chaos.
[Robert Bolt]

It’s not about orgasm. Pay attention to your partner. Enjoy the sex you’re having.
[Emily Nagoski; ]

What is it with pathology journals and autoerotic deaths? Every other issue seems to have a case report of some heedless, autoasphyxiated corpse with ill-fitting briefs and a black bar across his eyes. Occasionally, they seem to be in there for sheer color, as in the case of the young Australian who perished from “inhalation of a zucchini.” This one raises more questions than it answers. Was he trying to intensify his climax by vegetally choking himself, or was it a case of overexuberant mock fellatio? (We do learn that the zucchini was from his wife’s garden, admittedly a nice touch.)
[Mary Roach, Bonk: the Curious Coupling of Sex and Science]

Michael called the purported rhesus pheromones “copulins,” a word I cannot write without picturing a race of small, randy beings taken aboard the starship Enterprise.
[Mary Roach, Bonk: the Curious Coupling of Sex and Science]

The bottom line is that men’s armpit secretions are unlikely to serve as an attractant to any species other than the research psychologist.
[Mary Roach, Bonk: the Curious Coupling of Sex and Science]

amusements, beliefs, books, history, sexuality

Quotes of the Week

Lots and lots to choose from this week, mainly because I’ve been reading Brad Warner’s books on Zen as well as his website and lots else besides …

Imagine, for a moment, what the world would be like if we took the same approach to money as we do to sex. Imagine trying to hide all evidence of money from children, telling them that it’s not something they should know about. Imagine shaming them for asking questions about it, for expressing an interest in it, and for wanting to experiment with it. Imagine that you never explained how budgets work, or how to balance a checkbook, or how to pay for anything. Then, imagine that when they turn 18, handing them a credit card and saying “good luck with that.”

In essence, that’s what we do with sex.

Would you be surprised if those young adults didn’t know how to responsibly handle money? Would you be shocked if they ended up in crisis because they didn’t have the skills to take care of themselves? Would you think that their parents and schools had done their job?

If you answered “no” to these questions, then maybe you can also ask yourself why it should be any different when it comes to sex.
[http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/scarleteen_guest_author/2010/10/22/why_we_need_scarleteen]

Albert R Shadle was the world’s foremost expert on the sexuality of small woodland creatures.
[This could easily be the opening of a Douglas Adams or a Terry Pratchett novel, but it’s actually from Mary Roach, Bonk: the Curious Coupling of Sex and Science]

Our life is just action at the present moment. The past is nothing more than memory, and the future is nothing but dreams. At best, past and future are no more than reference material for the eternal now. The only real facts are those at the present moment. You cannot go back and correct the mistakes you made in your past, so you better be very careful right now. You can dream about your future, but no matter how well you construct that dream, your future will not be precisely as you envisioned it. The world where we live is existence in the present moment.
[Brad Warner, Sit Down and Shut Up: Punk Rock Commentaries on Buddha, God, Truth, Sex, Death, and Dogen’s Treasury of Right Dharma Eye]

The Paris Peace Conference [of 1919] dispensed recipes for war. The powerful nations dished out independence: which meant it was not independence. Something which has been given you through the benevolence of a higher power is not true independence: it is a sign that you are not strong enough to stand on your own.
[AN Wilson, After the Victorians]

Virginia Woolf’s prose was as beautiful as her face, but like many twentieth-century English writers, she had nothing to write about.
[AN Wilson, After the Victorians]

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
[Andre Gide]

These ambiguities, redundancies, and deficiencies recall those attributed by Dr Franz Kuhn to a certain Chinese encyclopaedia entitled Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge. On those remote pages it is written that animals are divided into (a) those that belong to the Emperor, (b) embalmed ones, (c) those that are trained, (d) suckling pigs, (e) mermaids, (f) fabulous ones, (g) stray dogs, (h) those that are included in this classification, (i) those that tremble as if they were mad, (j) innumerable ones, (k) those drawn with a very fine camel’s hair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) those that have just broken a flower vase, (n) those that resemble flies from a distance.
[Borges; Essay: “The Analytical Language of John Wilkins”]

Action and its results are one and the same. Time, the thing which makes us see them as separate matters, is the illusion. Time is no more than a clever fiction we humans have invented to help organize stuff in our brains.
[Brad Warner; ]

Boredom is important. Most of your life is dull, tasteless and boring.
[Brad Warner; ]

I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities.
[Whoopi Goldberg]

beliefs, sexuality, thoughts

The Smart Dutch Take on Teen Sex

A while ago I came across this article in the 7 September 2010 issue of Salon.

The smart Dutch take on teen sex
Despite parents’ allowing romantic sleepovers, the Netherlands has one of the lowest youth pregnancy rates
by Tracy Clark-Flory

I’m not going to reproduce it here as it’s available online. The article also references this study by Amy Schalet. I commend you all to go read both for yourselves. Amazingly Clark-Flory (an American) actually recognises that the Dutch have their attitudes to teen sex right and the Americans don’t. Which is what I’ve been saying for years. Society, especially politicians and the religious please note!

beliefs, personal, sexuality

Opening up Sexuality

4 Comments

A few weeks ago I speed read Susie Bright’s Full Exposure: Opening Up to Your Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression. While I found much of the book mundane here are a few snippets which struck me and/or helped crystallise my thinking.

We have no tradition in our culture for showing respect to anything sexual. We don’t promote erotic education. Our health care establishment barely has a clue about our sexual bodies. Our political system finds sex to be a fine whipping boy. The gossips and preachers are our typical sex advisers, and their tone is usually damning, rarely daring.

*****

The puritans are suspicious of sex education because it leads to tolerance, and there’s a world of sexual learning in everything from anatomy books to Leaves of Grass [by Walt Whitman] to Hot Legs magazine.

*****

The right to free speech, when you get right down to it, is the right to make someone else uncomfortable, to outrage the respectable, and to question everything held dear. Who, after all, needs protection to say they like Mom and apple pie? It’s the same with our legal rights to privacy […] We have persecuted people (from socialists to separatists, gay liberationists to pot smokers) who made unpopular statements or did unusual things.

*****

If you are drawn to a non-traditional, non-Western ideology [any ideology? – K], ask yourself where sexual liberation lies in its philosophy. Are masculine and feminine roles fluid and accommodating, or are they drawn to fit a predetermined role? Does your faith tell you that masturbation is selfish, that it wastes one’s precious energy? Or that monogamy is the only mature relationship in the eyes of your God? Are you led to believe that your sexual satisfaction is something that only your faith can give you, or some¬thing that must be sacrificed to get closer to essential truths?

If any of these Rules of Living sound familiar, ask yourself why something that is supposed to be so very divine and far-reaching […] would hand you [a] load of body-loathing, double-standard, sexually shaming intolerance.

*****

What wouldn’t I give for even one politician to get up and say, “One thing I’ve learned from this awful mess is that we must decriminalize sex between consenting adults”! Now that would take some honesty, not to mention balls.

*****

There’s a difference between secrecy – hiding significant information – and privacy, which is our right to maintain an existence that isn’t constantly orbiting around our mate. Secrecy devastates relationships, but privacy enhances them, because it distinguishes us; it resists the urge to merge.

amusements, medical, science, sexuality

Trapped Hosepipes

I’ve today spotted the following on PubMed. The mind boggles!

Removal of a Long PVC Pipe Strangulated in the Penis by Hot-Melt Method.
Jiatao J, Bin X, Huamao Y, Jianguo H, Bing L, Yinghao S.
Department of Urology, Changhai Hospital, […] China.

Abstract
Introduction. Penile incarceration for erotic or autoerotic purposes has been reported in a wide range of age groups, and often presents a significant challenge to urologic surgeons. No ready method has been reported for removing a polyvinylchloride (PVC) pipe entrapped on the penis. Aim. To present our experience in using hot-melt method to remove a constricted PVC pipe on the penis. Methods. A long melting split was made on the PVC pipe entrapped on the penis by using the long narrow branch of forceps heated on a gas stove. Results. The heated forceps was able to make a melt split on the PVC pipe. Consequently, the PVC pipe was removed by pulling the edges of the pipe apart without much difficulty. The total operation time was 20 minutes. Conclusion. Penile incarceration is a urologic emergency, for which resourcefulness is required in some unexpected cases. Hot-melting has proved to be an easy and effective method for removing penile strangulation by a PVC pipe. To our knowledge, it is the first report about the removal of PVC pipe entrapped on a penis.

beliefs, current affairs, sexuality, thoughts

Contrasting Attitudes towards Sex

1 Comment

I’ve just come across this interesting contrast between (mainland) European** and American attitudes toward sex – especially teenage sex. It says a lot about the relative incidence of teenage pregnancy and STIs between the US and Europe. Check out these adverts for a visual demonstration of the differences and decide for yourself which approach is the better and more healthy (for mind and body) – you might find an arousal of your interest.

** Sadly the UK is more in line with America than mainland Europe.

Hat-tip: MySexProfessor.com

science, sexuality, thoughts

Wanky Science

Those of you who share my convictions about the importance of openness in sexuality and body image my like to read this short article on the Science of Masturbation from Newsweek.

The basic tenet of the article is that there is a lot of scientific evidence that masturbation is good for the species and for passing on your genes – and that isn’t a counter-intuitive as it sounds. Unfortunately, and despite being written by a woman, the article deals almost exclusively with male masturbations; you girlies get only a paragraph at the end.

Even if you don’t share my convictions you maybe ought to read it – it may change your views. And if you have boy children it may help you (and them) come to appreciate and understand something which is an important part of male sexuality and not something to be hidden in the broom cupboard.

books, personal, pleasures, quotes, sexuality, thoughts, topographical

Here I Am

1 Comment

Having last week quoted the opening couple of lines from Roger McGough’s poem Here I Am it seems opportune to post the whole poem as it isn’t very long.

Here I Am

Here I am
getting on for seventy
and never having gone to work in ladies’ underwear

Never run naked at night in the rain
Made love to a girl I’d just met on a plane

At that awkward age now between birth and death
I think of all the outrages unperpetrated
opportunities missed

The dragons unchased
The maidens unkissed
The wines still untasted
The oceans uncrossed
The fantasies wasted
The mad urges lost

Here I am
as old as Methuselah
was when he was my age
and never having stepped outside for a fight

Crossed on red, pissed on rosé (or white)
Pretty dull for a poet, I suppose, eh? Quite.

Now OK, one knows that here will likely be a degree of poetic licence and tongue in cheek, but it is interesting what one even might consider it important that one hasn’t done (or would have liked to have done) in a lifetime.

So what would be on my list of things I’ve never done, and feel I want to have done? Hmmm … well … OK …

  • Visit Japan, Iceland, Norway and Sweden
  • Discover that I’m entitled to a coat of arms
  • Had a lot more sexual partners (what a waste of the 60s & 70s not to have done!)
  • Had sex in a hot, sunny hayfield
  • Travelled on the Orient Express and the Trans-Siberian Express
  • Not been depressed
  • Known what it’s like to be female

Well there’s still time to tick off some of those; better get going!

You can also check out my list of 111 Bucket List Things To Do.

amusements, personal, sexuality, thoughts

Pearl Necklace

Artist Leah Piepgras has created that essential piece of jewellery to wear to your next job interview.

As Peipgras says on her website:

Pearl Necklace is a seemingly amorphous cast silver shape on a chain that is actually an accurate representation of semen. It is a visual marker of chaos turned perfection through an act of beauty and lust. Pearl Necklace is a physical reminder of a fleeting moment of pleasure.

Even assuming you would pay $420 for the privilege, how many would have the courage to wear this to work let alone to a job interview? (Not that it to my mind hugely obvious what it represents.) I certainly wouldn’t, but then I’m not into girlie jewellery – and I’ve never seen any equivalent to us chaps. What about it someone?