Category Archives: sexuality

amusements, food+drink, medical, natural history, personal, photography, science, sexuality

Reasons to be Grateful 2

OK so here’s week two of my experiment: this week’s things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful:
Crab Apples

  1. Autumn Colours^ — there are still some gorgeous golden leaves around as well as bright red fruit on our ornamental crab apple, especially in …
  2. Sunshine* — which makes those autumn colours all the more vibrant
  3. Vagina Cupcakes — they’re a hoot!
  4. Beaujolais Nouveau* — I’ve now tasted three different ones and they’re all excellent
  5. Sleep — it’s so restorative to sleep well and undisturbed as I did last night
^ Click the image for a bigger version, and for other photos.
* No-one said I couldn’t choose the same things as last week!
quotes, sexuality

Quotes of the Week

What a strange mix we have this week …

If your dog had your brain and could speak, and if you asked it what it thought of your sex life, you might be surprised by its response. It would be something like this:

Those disgusting humans have sex any day of the month! Barbara proposes sex even when she knows perfectly well that she isn’t fertile – like just after her period. John is eager for sex all the time, without caring whether his efforts could result in a baby or not. But if you want to hear something really gross – Barbara and John kept on having sex while she was pregnant! That’s as bad as all the times when John’s parents come for a visit, and I can hear them too having sex, although John’s mother went through this thing they call menopause years ago. Now she can’t have babies any more, but she still wants sex, and John’s father obliges her. What a waste of effort! Here’s the weirdest thing of all: Barbara and John, and John’s parents, close the bedroom door and have sex in private, instead of doing it in front of their friends like any self-respecting dog!

[Jared Diamond; Why is Sex Fun?]

The impulse to cling to youth at all costs, to attempt to preserve your sexual attraction, to see even in middle age a future for yourself and not merely for your children, is a thing of recent growth and has only precariously established itself.
[George Orwell, “The Art of Donald McGill”, Horizon, September 1941]

When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters however … the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within.
[Sigmund Freud]

If you have psychopathic tendencies and are born to a poor family, you’re likely to go to prison. If you have psychopathic tendencies and are born to a rich family, you’re likely to go to business school.
[George Monbiot, guardian.co.uk, 7 November 2011]

amusements, sexuality

Fact of the Week : Phallocarp

This is from Why is Sex Fun? by Jared Diamond:

A hint that the large human penis serves as some sort of signal may be gained by watching what happens when men take the opportunity to design their own penises, rather than remaining content with their evolutionary legacy. Men in the highlands of New Guinea do that by enclosing the penis in a decorative sheath called a phallocarp. The sheath is up to two feet long and four inches in diameter, often bright red or yellow in color, and variously decorated at the tip with fur, leaves, or a forked ornament. When I first encountered New Guinea men with phallocarps, among the Ketengban tribe in the Star Mountains […] I had already heard a lot about them and was curious to see how they were used and how people explained them. It turned out that men wore their phallocarps constantly […] Each man owns several models, varying in size, ornamentation, and angle of erection, and each day he selects a model to wear according to his mood, much as each morning we select a shirt to wear. In response to my question as to why they wore phallocarps, the Ketengbans replied that they felt naked and immodest without them [despite that they] were otherwise completely naked and left even their testes exposed. In effect, the phallocarp is a conspicuous erect pseudo-penis representing what a man would like to be endowed with. The size of the penis that we evolved was unfortunately limited by the length of a woman’s vagina. A phallocarp shows us what the human penis would look like if it were not subject to that practical constraint.

current affairs, sexuality, thoughts

Teenagers and Sex …

… go together like, well, err … rutting animals?

Well maybe not so much.

I’ve written several times before (eg. here and here) although not recently.

Regular readers will know that I’ve long advocated the more liberal Dutch approach rather than the American (and British) proscriptively controlling approach. So I was interested to see yet more expert opinion and research supporting this view under the title “What We Can Learn From the Dutch About Teen Sex“. The article is inevitably American, but in my view it is just as applicable to the the Vatican, the UK or indeed any culture.

I’ll leave it to you to read the complete article and, I suggest, some of the linked items therein. What interesting is that Amy Schalet (author of Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens and the Culture of Sex) who is being interviewed has experience of both the Dutch and American systems, and based on that experience is firmly of the Dutch persuasion. Here are a few quotes which struck me.

Teen birth rates are eight times higher in the U.S. than in Holland. Abortion rates are twice as high. The American AIDS rate is three times greater than that of the Dutch. What are they doing right …
[What] I’d noticed with my American friends is that there wasn’t a lot of conversation between parents and teens about sexuality and there was a lot of discomfort around the issue …

Coming out of the sexual revolution the Dutch really decoupled sex from marriage, but they didn’t decouple sex from love. If the first piece is that there weren’t these immediate associations of teen sex with danger, the second is that it remained anchored in the concept of steady relationships and young people being in love …

[The Dutch] say ‘We permit so we can control’ and that’s also their attitude toward drugs and prostitution. It’s worth pointing out that US teens are more likely to use drugs than the Dutch, even though there are more liberal policies [in the Netherlands].

That idea of ‘It’s actually a form of control’ is for most people in the US counter-intuitive. But if you expect self-control and give people an opportunity to exercise it, you might get more of it …

Something that did strike me when I came in early ’90s to this country [USA] is that one of the differences in the aftermath of the sexual revolution is that Dutch society became a lot more secular.

What stood out to me was that so often [in the US] people seemed to think you can only have morality and a strong social fabric if you believe in a higher authority, a God that would otherwise punish [people]. There isn’t a belief that people are naturally cooperative, which lots of research suggests they are.

Schalet then goes on to expound her ABCD approach. Here are the one-liners.

A is autonomy. A lot of times people do realize that adolescents are supposed to develop autonomy during that phase of life, but that doesn’t get applied to sex …
B is build good, positive relationships. We need more emphasis on healthy teen relationships …
C is connectedness. It’s possible to really challenge the assumption that teens and parents have to be at loggerheads …
D is diversity. A lot of sex education doesn’t recognize diversity [and] I don’t just mean differences in orientation …

I wish I knew how we could change the prevailing ethos. It would be so much better.

environment, links, science, sexuality, topographical

Links of the Week

This week’s catch-up on things you may have missed, and which I missed writing about. This week: Sex and Science.

Now I know all maps are a 2D projection of a 3D surface, but I’d never realised before quite how many different ways there were of doing the map projections.

Does bestiality increase your risk of penile cancer? Why would anyone even think to want to find out?

First there was the Human Development Index — a sort of generalised national “happiness rating”. Then someone decided to add some greenness and turned the whole thing upside down.

Lots of interesting, quick and easy video explanations of physics at Minute Physics. Worth a look — and not just for geeks.

Vulvanomics — on female genital cosmetic surgery. Why would anyone? But then as a fully paid up mail I will never understand.

Antibiotics with a side of steak. Worrying commentary on agribusiness.

And finally …

Some lucky women are having orgasms in an MRI scanner. Now how cool is that?

But they’re doing it to show that only Epilepsy brings more activity to women’s brains than does “self-stimulation” to orgasm.

We live in a strange world!

beliefs, history, links, science, sexuality, thoughts

Links of the Week

This weeks collection of the curious and interesting you may have missed …

Lord Norwich makes some sly remarks about Popes. But how does he know what Pope Nicholas V was like?

Now apparently out gut bacteria may be causing obesity. And you thought it was because I ate too much.

Scientists also think they’ve discovered why some of us hate Brussels Sprouts. Yes it’s all in the genetics, and our taste buds.

In other news, speculation is rife that Palaeolithic man went in for piercing his penis. It all sounds pretty tenuous to me, but then there’s nothing new under the foreskin sun.

And finally … And finally someone in “authority” has come to realise that what we’ve been saying all these years might just be helpful: prostitution could be solved by decriminalising brothels. Government: smell the coffee … it ain’t going to go away and if you licence it you can tax it!

environment, freedom of speech, links, medical, memes, quotes, science, sexuality, thoughts, topographical

Weekly Links

Here’s this week’s selection of interesting articles you may have missed. And what a selection it is!

Turning the lights off won’t save oil, says Melissa C Lott in the Scientific American blog. Maybe not, but it will save coal and gas, reduce emissions and stop wasting our (increasingly expensive) electricity.

“Put that fly down! You don’t know where it’s been.” But Rob Dunn does. Again in the Scientific American blog.

The Divided Brain is an 11 minute video in which Psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist describes the real differences between the left and right halves of the human brain. It’s not simply “emotion on the right, reason on the left” but something far more complex and interesting. Love the cartoons!

Max Davidson in the Daily Telegraph defends old-fashioned words against the influx of new text-speak.

And here’s yet another from the Sci Am blog … Ingrid Wickelgren goes looking for the secrets to a happy marriage. And finds some unexpected answers.

The right to keep your pubes. A feminist perspective on shaving for childbirth. I dunno what’s so feminist about it; seems like a basic right to me.

And lastly, if I hadn’t read this here, I wouldn’t believe it. Londoners are being told to stop shagging for a bit, ‘cos the Mayor doesn’t want girlies dropping bairns in the streets during the sacred cow Olympics. Maybe Boris needs to make sure we keep the lights on!

medical, memes, music, nudism, personal, photography, science, sexuality, topographical

Ten More Things

Quite a while back Katyboo resurrected the “Ten Things” meme. Although I’m doing a monthly sequence of ten things, I thought I’d join the overladen tumbrils and bandwagons rolling down the cobbled streets. So leaving out the inevitable choices of food, wine, cake, coffee, my wife, the cats, blah, blah, blah, here’s my slightly more unusual, and possibly controversial, version.

    Hockneylated ...

  1. My Cameras. I realised recently I’ve been taking photographs for 50 years, having started at around 9 or 10 with my father’s Kodak Box Brownie. It has remained something I enjoy. I wouldn’t claim to be a good photographer and I’ve never had any formal photographic training. What skill I have was acquired at my father’s knee. My approach has always been to take what I see; what interests, intrigues or amuses me. It is about trying to see things and make them into a picture. I have no interest in fashion photography, formal portraiture, studio and still-life work, getting up early for special shots, sitting in wet woodlands waiting for worms or tigers, spending hours in darkrooms or doing loads of fancy post-processing. None of these things do it for me. I’m happy photographing wayside flowers or just sitting somewhere watching people go by.
  2. Romney Marsh & Dungeness. The far south-east corner of Kent is almost wholly reclaimed land. This whole area SE of the arc of the Royal Military Canal running roughly from Hythe in the NE to Rye in the SW was largely sea until a few hundred years ago. The escarpment to the NW of the canal used to be the shoreline. Henry VIII had shipyards at Smallhythe on an estuary; it’s now 10 miles inland! Storms and the sea moved the rivers and built up the single bank of Dungeness — and the sea is still moving it about. In phases since the Romans man has reclaimed the marsh between the gravel and the escarpment as pasture for sheep and as arable land. I have ancestors who come from New Romney and from around the margins of the marsh. The area is dotted with delightful medieval churches, all with a rich history. And sheep. Thousands of sheep. Although fewer than there used to be. Dungeness is a desolate, windswept wasteland populated only by a few hardy souls, a couple of lighthouses a nuclear power station, an Army firing range and miles of endangered wildlife. It is one of those visceral and cathartic places.
  3. Nudity. One of the things I have to thank my parents for is a slightly bohemian upbringing where nudity was normal, doors were left open, and sexuality was normal, as were books and discussion. I was taken to a nudist club on several occasions when I was about 10; partly this was “educational” but my parents wouldn’t have done it unless it was also something they wanted to do. Consequently I’m comfortable with nudity and bodies — mine and other peoples’. Indeed I enjoy being nude and spend much of the time at home that way. I dress if I’m too cold (which isn’t often) and to save the blushes of other people. Nudity is natural, normal and good for you. Even Benjamin Franklin used to take “air baths”.
  4. My PA. No idea WTF I’m talking about? See here. [NSFW warning!] Viewings by arrangement.
  5. Pink Floyd. They’re just one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Think See Emily Play, The Wall, Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, Learning to Fly. Despite the inevitable rocky times the surviving members have gotten back together in recent years and are performing occasional gigs again.
  6. Pretty Girls with Maps of Tasmania. All at sea again? See this post of some while ago. Oh come on! Let’s be honest. What red-blooded (hetero) bloke doesn’t enjoy looking at pretty girls? And why shouldn’t they? And girls … Don’t try kidding us you don’t like seeing good looking fellas. We know you look at them. You’re just a lot more subtle than most of us blokes.
  7. Seaside. I love the smell of the sea. The sound of the sea. Warm sand between my toes. There’s always something interesting going on in a harbour, on the beach or under the cliffs. Just standing on the seafront having the cobwebs blown away is exhilarating.
  8. Sunshine. I always feel better when the sun shines, especially in winter. I suffer from SAD (thankfully only mildly) so winter sun always boosts my mood. And I love the feel of the sun on my back. But I’m not one for lying and toasting on the beach, despite my love of being nude, so you’ll never find me with a high tan.
  9. KCMWearing Glasses. This is something else I’ve done since I was young — like about 14. I’m basically short-sighted, so I’m pretty blind without my glasses. Which is why I’m not a natural ball-player, despite my love of cricket and hockey. Contact lenses weren’t around when I started wearing glasses, so there was no choice: wear glasses or not read the blackboard at school. I hated glasses at first, largely because I had horrible frames. But once I was allowed to choose my own metal frames (like when I could pay for them myself) and have plastic lenses I got to like glasses. They don’t worry me. Most of the time I don’t know I’m wearing them. Yes, keeping them clean is a pain. But for me lenses would probably be worse; I’m not sure if I could adjust to them and this would be harder given my hayfever etc. — all the lens wearers I know seem to have continual trouble with them.
  10. Being Eccentric/Outrageous. Yeah well you know this already, right? Being open about what I think and feel is, to me, all part of my role as a catalyst and controversialist; as is playing Devil’s advocate. Hopefully this introduces people to different ideas and new ways of looking at the world; makes people think; and thereby to helps them develop. I can’t abide being prissy and prudish; and standing on one’s dignity or unnecessary formality. I’m me and you take me as I am, or not. Your choice. At the other extreme, neither am I one to be disreputable and sluttish. I try to retain a certain amount of decorum; indeed professionalism even if it is slightly disgraceful.
current affairs, medical, science, sexuality

Weekly Links

Here’s another in my occasional series of round-ups of things you may have missed but shouldn’t have done.

Scientists have discovered and characterised a giganto-virus and called it … Megavirus. How original! The Loom has the low-down.

Is the alcohol message wrong? Apparently the answer is, yes. By focussing people on not drinking and not getting violent we stimulate them to exactly the opposite. Apparently we should be concentrating on getting them to drink sensibly and enjoy it, not trying to forbid drinking. Here’s the story from the BBC.

An interesting observation from Diamond Geezer on the evolution of news presentation. The intertubes make it all complex, indexed and top down, whereas what most of us want is the diversity of the traditional linear presentation.

Finally one for the girls … You want bigger tits? Why have expensive (and allegedly dangerous) surgery when you can achieve the result with Breast Slapping?