Category Archives: ramblings

natural history, personal, ramblings

February Unblogged

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So here we are, another month bites the dust, which means it’s time for a look at some of the things which impinged on me but which I didn’t otherwise write about.

Sunday 1
It’s tedious but sadly it’s necessary.

Tuesday 3
Did it stop raining at any point today? If it did, I certainly didn’t notice.

Wednesday 4
In contrast to yesterday, today was a lovely sunny day. Looking out of the bedroom window this morning, there were two goldfinches in the street tree outside – very nice; although they are usually around. But what is that? Flying steadily some way off, across a clear blue sky, and going south was a single swan: large, white with a long neck; quite unmistakeable. Not something one sees very often.

Sunday 8
There seems to be nothing happening at present. Everything is dull, dreary and wet. Motivation has disappeared today if only because I woke up feeling very depressed. That caused me to cancel my hospital appointment on Tuesday as I just can’t face the hassle – the appointment isn’t urgent anyway, it’s just a quick 15 minute check-up which will waste most of the day.

Monday 9

Image stolen from the internet

Wednesday 11
Sitting over lunch we looked out of the window to see not one, but two red kites gliding over, very low. They really are big birds. No wonder the pigeons scattered!

Friday 13
There are days when you have lots of sugar, and days when you don’t have any. Given my diabetes the latter should be the norm. But today was one of the former; I seem to have spent the day guzzling cake and fizzy pop. Well it would be rude not to! At least once in a while.

Saturday 14
Sunshine! Lots of sunshine! A glorious sunny morning, although cold. And the afternoon was good too, although it did gradually cloud up. Doesn’t it make everything feel so much better.

Sunday 15
Only a day late for our Valentine’s Day dinner. Something simple: sirloin steak with garlic roast potatoes and a tray of roast veg (tomato, fennel, pepper, mushroom, onion). Washed down with the obligatory bottle of Champagne. No starter; no pudding; the main course was enough. Despite all, food remains one of the pleasures of life.
We were remembering our first Valentine’s Day together in 1979. It was bitterly cold and snowy; we were at my parents. We went the 2-3 miles to a restaurant, despite 2 inches of ice on the roads (somehow the buses were still running!). The restaurant were glad to see us as almost everyone else had cancelled due to the freezing weather. Starters, main course and wine plus a Calvados each cost £50 – which was a fortune; probably the equivalent of paying near £500 now. Looking at the menu, which N has kept, a gastro pub starter now costs the same as a main course then. It felt like something we really couldn’t afford at the time, but looking back it was, in many ways, a great investment.”

Monday 16
remains

Tuesday 17
Hang on! This isn’t right. We had another essentially dry day and some sunshine. It’s definitely helping lift my depression.

Thursday 19
What an interesting day. The osteopath mauling my hand and back was the least of it! A trip to the doctors this afternoon produced two “amusements”, Firstly one of the receptionists asks me if the patient group could fund-raise as the nurses want an ECG machine – errrrr, maybe, but do the powers know about this? Then to see the nurse for my RSV jab, when she discovers the supply is out of date – rescued by one of the other nurses finding some OK stock well hidden in the back of the fridge. After witch tidying up the books in the book exchange was a piece of cake!

Friday 20
Felt distinctly mucky all day – and through into Saturday morning – which I put down to yesterday’s RSV jab.

Saturday 21
Well that’s a nice first for many years … this morning two (and sadly only two) greenfinches sitting in the top of the silver birch. They’ve been devastated in recent years by “trichomoniasis, a parasite-induced disease that prevents the birds from feeding properly”. In consequence I’ve not see them around for many years, so wonderful to have them back, however briefly. Add to that, a couple of days ago we had two redwings; they’re winter visitors and it isn’t unusual to occasionally see the odd one or two, probably in transit. Also this week we now have four squirrels!

Sunday 22
For the last several weeks we’ve been getting some really cheerful daffodils and narcissi from the supermarket – and they’re British grown!king alfredThey’re ridiculously cheap; in fact I’d say too cheap. But they do give a cheering lift to the dining table. And given the recent weather, I’ll take that.narcissus

Tuesday 24
Just after 18:00 I opened the study window. It was pitch dark, but there was still a robin singing its heart out somewhere close by.

Thursday 26
Walking out of the hospital to get my cab early this afternoon after my audiology appointment … the hospital entrance is blocked by at least three police cars, three fire trucks and an ambulance, all with flashing blue lights. Chaos; no-one can get in, but you can get out. Fortunately they all backed off after about 20 minutes so my cab was able to finally get to pick me up. And horrible traffic on the way home meant I finally got lunch at 15:15!

Saturday 28
They clearly know something we don’t! I don’t know what was happening, but somewhere around mid-afternoon I looked out the study window and the tree at the back of us, a couple of houses along, was full of magpies. And I mean full. One or two went away and a couple of others joined the throng. At one point I think I counted 20 birds sitting in the tree, without any that were flying around. Here’s the proof …a bare tree full of magpies

Count them: 19 magpies
[Click the image for a larger view]

environment, natural history, ramblings

Parakeets

These birds are ridiculous! This morning, about 09:15, we had a garden full of ring-neck parakeets (Psittacula krameri from Northern India): 26 of them sitting about the trees and on the almost empty feeders; in the rain. And that’s the ones I could see! And it wasn’t just parakeets, the full count was at least:

  • 26 Ring-neck Parakeets
  • 2 Magpies
  • 2 Woodpigeons
  • at least 1 Squirrel
  • and an uncountable number of various species of tit (blue tit, great tit and maybe some coal tit).

Here’s a quick photo of some of them (taken through a dirty window) to prove the point – I can count 22 in this photo! [Click the image for a larger view.]

lots of green parakeets sitting in a tree

I know many people don’t like these parakeets: they’re an alien invader, prolific, noisy, and supposedly keep the smaller birds off food supplies. However we love having them around. No, they’re not native. Yes, they’re noisy. But they are comically acrobatic. And judging by our garden observations they certainly don’t deter the smaller birds – if anything is guilty of that it’s the squirrels.

There’s lots more on these parakeets on the Natural History Museum website. Let’s celebrate them as a colourful and fun addition to our environment.

beliefs, nudism, ramblings, sexuality, thoughts

Nudity & Society II: Nudity and Sex are Not Coincident

This is the second of four articles addressing nudity and society. Although a series, the first three will stand alone; the fourth article will be a selection of useful supporting links. Consequently there will be overlap of material between the articles. The articles are not fully referenced (hence Article IV), although a Google search on “nudity society body acceptance” (or similar) will find many articles (academic and otherwise) relevant to the whole series, starting perhaps with British Naturism’s 2020 Submission to Parliament.

Read Article I.

At the risk of stirring up a hornet’s nest, I want to consider something that gives people pause: nudity and sex.

Almost all societies and cultures have taboos about sex and nudity. These appear largely based around the idea that if someone is nude then sex must be involved – and vice versa. Nudity and sex become inseparable; one cannot exist without the other.

But the liberating truth is:

Nudity does not require sex;
and sex does not require nudity.
Neither needs to be a taboo.

Think about that for a minute …

When we separate nudity and sexuality, we make room for more genuine comfort and body confidence – with ourselves and with others.

Nudity doesn’t have to be sexual. Being nude doesn’t automatically mean being sexual. Sometimes (most times) it just means being comfortable – in your own skin, with no pretence or performance. Think of when nudity is about freedom or expression: sunbathing, painting a self-portrait, breastfeeding, or stepping out of the shower to feel the air on your skin. None of those moments require sexual intent to be meaningful or beautiful.

nude couple, back to us, looking across a sandy beach and sea

Unfortunately though we’ve built a whole culture of taboos around nudity. Most of us have been taught to associate nudity with shame, temptation, or worse – an equation which is at best flawed. Such conditioning makes it hard to see the body as neutral let alone something to be appreciated, rather than judged. When we uncouple nudity from sexuality, we start to see bodies (ours and others) with more compassion and less anxiety.

Sex doesn’t have to be naked. Sexuality is about connection: emotional, physical, spiritual. While we often picture it involving total nakedness, that’s certainly not always the case. People can share deep intimacy while partly or completely clothed. Words, eye contact, emotional vulnerability, can be just as intimate as anything physical – whether clothed or not.

When we realize sex is about energy, communication, and consent – as opposed to what the body looks like – it takes the pressure off; it helps us redefine intimacy in ways that feel authentic rather than performative.

We live in a culture obsessed with, but terrified of, the human body. It seems to me a large part of the problem, and the reason for the taboos, is fear: we’re frightened of nudity because we don’t understand it; we think it (might be) an invitation, a sign of doubtful morals; and we’re petrified of losing control and being unguarded.

Because we see nudity as an invitation the media and marketing droids play on it; constantly trying to sell us a new Utopia in a bottle or a bra. Meanwhile society insists we cover up, hide, or feel guilty about our bodies, our physicality. We must not be seen to give the “wrong” messages.

This kind of mixed messaging makes it hard to know what’s “appropriate” or “normal”. So no wonder we cling to the taboos; they’re the only thing we know which appears safe.

We’re brought up with these mixed messages. But it needn’t be this way. We know kids are oblivious to nudity until we teach them otherwise. Research has also shown that being around nudity does kids no harm; it actually does them good because they develop better body image, and a better ability to see through society’s bullshit. We can do this through teaching kids about consent, boundaries and context so they can see the beauty and vulnerability of the body – and of course intimacy when/where appropriate. Sexuality can, and should, be approached in the same way.

How can we hope to have balanced and open minds when there are important elements of being human we keep closed off?

If we can’t talk about sex, we end up with shame and a lack of education.

If we can’t talk about (or see) nudity, then mental health suffers and we’re constantly fearful and prudish.

Healing this starts with awareness. It’s OK to admire the human body – yours or someone else’s – without turning it into something sexual. Let’s be honest: which of us doesn’t appreciate a pretty girl or a handsome guy (depending on one’s proclivities) whether nude or not. It’s OK to feel comfortable in, appreciate, and admire your skin, your body, without shame; and it’s OK to appreciate others. The body itself isn’t the problem; it’s the meanings – so often creepy or (latently) abusive – we’ve learned to attach to it.

Everyone has different levels of comfort around nudity and sexuality. Some, like me, are completely open and unfazed regardless of circumstance (it’s how I was brought up, enabling me to develop my own beliefs); others the complete opposite; most somewhere in between. What matters is choice and consent. You get to decide what feels right for you; when, where, and with whom. In return, others deserve the same respect.

Not assuming nudity always means sex, and sex always means nudity, gives us permission to create clearer boundaries, deeper trust, and an open mind; and it’s easier to honour what’s truly comfortable, rather than what’s culturally expected.

At the end of the day, your body’s not just something you “have”; it’s an integral part of who you are. It’s not inherently sexual, shameful, or wrong. It’s your home. Learning to inhabit that home with kindness and acceptance can be incredibly healing.

Let’s accept nudity as normal; and let’s see sex the same way. But they’re not ipso facto joined. Why should we not accept nudity as normal, just as we would Fred’s new suit or Suzy’s cocktail dress? We can admire and appreciate them, without seeing them as inherently sexual.

So whether you’re fully clothed, completely nude, or somewhere in between, remember you get to define what intimacy means for you; not anyone else and certainly not society. Which means: nudity doesn’t require sex (unless all those involved consent for it to do so); and sex doesn’t require nudity. But both, when approached with awareness, consent and respect can be deeply human (even transcendental) experiences.

memes, personal, ramblings

Unblogged October

The usual round-up of things which happened that I didn’t otherwise write about.

Wednesday 1
As usual the first of the month was busy with household etc. admin. It was made worse by two things. First it was one of those days when everything did its best to conspire against any and every activity. Secondly the gardener was here. Having him here is so disruptive, even when all he’s doing is beavering away in the garden. As N observed we never get anything done when he’s here; certainly it is difficult to concentrate on anything significant.

Thursday 2
Another day struggling against the depression, achieving little, and failing to get to the bottom of the pile of paperwork on my desk. Seldom has there been such a rubbish week. And next week isn’t looking too good either.

Friday 3
Got my new hearing aids today. 14:30 appointment; arrived at 14:00; seen at 14:10; out by 14:20 and home at 14:45. Now that’s what I call service! First impressions are that they are much clearer than the old ones – and more comfortable.

Saturday 4
Today is N’s birthday, but as she’ll be at the hospital for a large chunk of the day (and home late) the major celebration will be tomorrow – although presents this evening accompanied by pizza.

Sunday 5
N’s birthday, Part 2. A culinary day. First off we finished the Sweet & Spicy Apple Cheese – we’d cooked down the small or damaged apples from our crop on Friday, and now sieved and jammed it. (I should write it up!) Then I sieved out the proto-tomato soup, ready to be finished for lunch tomorrow. Dinner was duck and avocado salad, followed by peaches in alcohol with cream, washed down with a bottle of Champagne. Result!

Monday 6
What a curious and interesting day. It started just before 05:00 with a gorgeous full moon setting in the SW, at times draped in thin ethereal cloud; couldn’t photograph it because it was right above an annoying street light. Then off for Covid & flu jabs, and get a new passport photo. Home to find that author Jilly Cooper has died; she was a long time friend of Anthony Powell and a great supported of the Society; we last saw her at the anniversary lunch in June. Fell asleep for a good part of the afternoon. Finally this evening a good reading group call.

Wednesday 8
Two or three days ago the moon was rising in the early evening at about due East. This evening it is rising a good 45° to the north, ie. around NE. How has the orbit moved so far in only half a handful of days? Well, checking it out, it seems like it does! The direction of moonrise has moved 44° since last Saturday!

Thursday 9
Off to see the senior partner at my GPs this afternoon as he does minor surgery. As I suspected he decided to scalp my infected elbow. Apparently there’s no obvious underlying problem. Seen 15 minutes early, and all done, in and out, in 20 minutes. Job done. Result!

Friday 10
It is Saturday, isn’t it? Really depressed; feeling completely drained and unable.

Saturday 11
It doesn’t help that I’ve done something to my back. Not sure if it’s the old injury or a trapped nerve. Anyway I’ve managed to get an osteopath appointment for Monday afternoon. And this on top of still feeling really depressed and incapable.

Sunday 12
Keep your elbow dry in the shower they said. Hah! Some chance. Well at least we tried: taped a protective plastic film over the area, but of course it comes off as soon as you flex your elbow in the wet. But it did make me remove the dressing, which I’d been told to keep on for 2-3 days. The wound looks quite good, although oozing slightly (probably because it got wet). An hour later and it’s almost dried up, which is good. Just don’t lean on it!!!!

Monday 13
Comes the gardener. In tidying up the front garden he discovered a very well hidden wasps’ nest. Basically they’ve hollowed out one of the railway sleepers used as border edging; at least two large entrance holes, but the actual nest is well hidden as you cannot see it! Still quite a few wasps around the entrance. We will, of course, leave it alone.

Tuesday 14
Feel dreadful. Back not really any better. Trapped nerve pain in front of right thigh. Can’t get comfortable; didn’t sleep well. And no power in fingers/hands. This despite osteopath yesterday.

Wednesday 15
Also last Saturday I completed the latest board of Postcrossing postcards: numbers 401-450. The display (below) was taken down today to make way for the new set.cork board display of postcards

Friday 17
Still in trouble with back & right leg, so another trip to osteopath. Not sure how I managed the journey through the pain and panic attack – but I did.

Monday 20
Time for the Paraffinian’s Autumn campaign, although they never seem to make any advance. As is traditional, the campaign started this weekend with Diwali.

Wednesday 22
Quick medical update. Back is improving, but leg still painful: but all seems to improve with each visit to osteopath (which done again today). Elbow healing up well; scab beginning to peel off. Having lost a lot of power and dexterity in my right fingers, this evening I realised what may well have caused it: using a potato ricer to extract the juice from cooked apples for the apple cheese a couple of weeks ago – it was certainly hurting my hand at the time. New hearing aids working well, and more comfortable than the old ones.

Thursday 23
The house is littered with well-loved and beaten-up catnip mice, which wander the house courtesy of our 3 felines. Today I found a couple of new catnip mice and gave Tilly one. This was the result …

Saturday 25
N came in from dialysis about 19:15; when she got upstairs she was very shaky and uncommunicative. Wouldn’t/couldn’t tell me anything. So an ambulance was called. Impressive response time about 15 minutes. Well checked over by 3 paramedics and taken off to hospital. Probably an infection as high temperature. We’ll see. Now I can’t do anything.

Sunday 26
A day struggling not to be completely paralysed with stress, depression and panic. N still in hospital; may be out tomorrow if she continues to recover.

Monday 27
Last evening I caught a late BBC weather bulletin. The presenter is already wearing a Remembrance poppy. Come on guys, it’s still two weeks to Remembrance Sunday. Gah!
[As long-time readers will know, I majorly dislike Remembrance Day; I wrote about it 15 years ago!]

Wednesday 29
N finally home from hospital about 18:30. She’s glad to be home, although still a bit weary. She’s under instruction (from me) to get to bed early and rest – the question is, will she take any notice?

Friday 31
It’s been one of those months, and it ended with yet another such day. I still have a stack of stuff to do, which should have been done ages ago but I can’t get to – for lots of reasons – so I’m well behind. I shall be glad to see the back of October; I just hope November is better.