Category Archives: personal

Marsh Days

What an enjoyable day!  We’ve spent the day on the Romney Marsh Historic Churches Trust annual members’ tour.

Wedged between Rye, Hythe, the sea, and the high ground of the Weald, Romney Marsh (information here  and here) is an ancient, if man-made, landscape at England’s extreme SE tip. Over the years, roughly from the Romans through to the Reformation, the marsh land has gradually been inned, or reclaimed from the sea. There have been setbacks, storms, the River Rother, which used to enter the sea at Old Romney, then at New Romney, changed it’s course completely (it now enters the sea some miles away at Rye Harbour) with the demise of a major royal shipyard at Smallhythe. Most of the marsh is around 10 feet below high water. Drainage is a constant battle. This is a volatile landscape, made by man and by sheep.

There are 14 churches, plus 4 ruins, on the Romney Marsh. They are all medieval and apart from one (and the ruins) they are all still in use although many have very small parishes. A number of these churches are built on the sites of the earlier Saxon churches; many have seen worship on their site for well over 1000 years. They are important churches and important sites.

The Romney Marsh Historic Churches Trust exists to assist with the preservation and restoration of these glorious small country churches which are so much a part of the country’s heritage. With a couple of exceptions they are not grand parish churches in the style of East Anglian wool country or of the West Country. They are small, designed to serve small communities living on the edge – even at the height of the Marsh’s population just before the Black Death, none of the parishes was large. The exceptions were probably New Romney and Lydd.

Every year the Trust organises a tour for its members, usually in July with a repeat in September (both tours easily fill a 50-seater coach). The tour visits three or four of the churches, often to see the results of the Trust’s work supporting their fabric. We’ve been on the tours fairly regularly for the last 10 or so years and have now seen all but one of the 14 churches, most of them of course several times.

This year we visited St Mary, East Guldeford (top); St Clement, Old Romney (above); St Augustine, Snave (the only church not in regular use and for which the Trust has full responsibility); and St Eanswith, Brenzett. The day starts with coffee at the Royal Oak pub in Brookland (right next to St Augustine, Brookland, so the keen can add a fifth church). Two churches are visited by coach in the morning. We return to the pub for a splendid buffet salad lunch and a pint. Then off to do two more churches. And ending the afternoon with tea provided by the Brenzett WI. WI tea is to die for; it is (almost) the highlight of the day: fifty odd people sit down in the village hall and demolish three trestle tables groaning with home-made cake! You end the day feeling like a python which has just stuffed down a tasty gazelle and doesn’t want to eat again for a month.

At each church there is a short talk from an expert – very often the indefatigable Joan Campbell who is the leading expert on these churches – and chance to look round and take photographs. Every time there is something new to discover: newly researched information about Richard de Guldeford, benefactor of East Guldeford; the effects of 13th century storms and the Black Death on the Marsh; church furnishings which quietly move from parish to parish over the years; major restoration work, often (part) funded by the Trust, this year to the Tudor brickwork of East Guldeford.

These are not neglected and forgotten little churches being propped up by a tiny interest group: the Trust has over 1000 members. Film director Derek Jarman is buried at Old Romney (he lived his last years at Dungeness). Children’s author Edith Nesbit is buried at St Mary-in-the-Marsh. Lydd and New Romney regularly stage concerts and other events. These churches are still important parts of their communities.

And I’ve not mentioned the delights of the Marsh: the ever changing patterns of sheep and arable, sky and earth; the views of the scarp to the north which once upon a time was the old shoreline; or the distant vista of Rye nestling atop its hill. Neither have I mentioned my distant ancestors who lived on the Marsh and the surrounding area – in fact I spent some time today looking for gravestones on the off-chance of discovering something new. And we always seem to have good weather, whatever the forecast.

All in all it’s a superbly delightful day out!

Don’t Assume

In interacting and communicating with other people we make a lot of assumptions about the other person. Sure, we have to make some assumptions to even begin to communicate (for instance that the other person can understand our language); if we didn’t we would have to start every conversation by asking a complete set of detailed questions – so many we would end up never communicating anything. But making too many, and too deep, assumptions, and not testing those we must make, is highly dangerous. Along with not listening to what the other person actually says, is in my experience the root cause of the majority of misunderstandings.

So I decided to set out those things which it seems to me we assume about the other person or the situation at our peril:

  • Any one person speaks for everyone
  • Anyone is right about anything
  • “Culture” or “society” is the same everywhere and for everybody
  • Someone else’s ethics and morals are the same as yours
  • How young or old or young the person is
  • Someone else is of a given race or nationality
  • What someone else’s religion or spiritual belief system is
  • What someone else’s first language or nationality is
  • What someone else’s politics are
  • What someone else’s personal values are
  • What someone else’s economic class is
  • What someone else’s financial situation is
  • What someone else’s level of education is
  • What someone else’s level of intelligence is
  • What someone else’s experiences or background are
  • What someone else’s life history is
  • What the person’s family or home background is
  • What someone else’s sexuality is or that someone else’s sexual ideals or ethics are the same as yours
  • Someone else has the same body or beauty ideals you do
  • Someone else has the same values, desires, interests, likes and dislikes as you
  • All things have the same effect on all people
  • Anything is universally yucky or universally yummy
  • What someone else’s skills and aptitudes are
  • What you find easy or hard they will also find easy or hard
  • What worked for you will work for anyone else
  • Someone else is better, worse, the same or different to you
  • Any given word means the same thing to everyone
  • One kind of learning works for everyone
  • Your logic is someone else’s logic
  • What they think is the same as you think
  • Someone else’s common sense is the same as your common sense
  • What is right for you is right for anyone else, and vice versa
  • Anything is possible or impossible

Yes we often can (and do) make pretty good guesses at many of these and we base our initial communications on them, but we’d better be prepared to test our guesses and change our position accordingly. I’m sure we’ve all been in situations where we’ve made an assumption about (say) someone’s education only to find we’re totally wrong – haven’t we all come across someone with a doctorate doing a job we wouldn’t expect (driving a taxi or a bus, dealing in second-hand books, selling insurance). Or we’ve spoken to a colleague on the phone and then been surprised on meeting them to find they’re a Sikh, a Muslim or Afro-Caribbean. 

Beware quicksands! … Orator caveo.

Zen Mischief Website Updated

At long last, and after three days solid effort, I’ve completely updated my Zen Mischief website.  And not before time either!  I started the revision over 2 years ago and got as far as completing the design before I was rudely interrupted by work.  Only now have I made the time to complete the job.  Although at the moment the content – essentially a static backup to this weblog – is largely the same, all the text has been revised (some pages more than others), all the links checked, dead links removed and many new ones added, and all the images have been overhauled.  I have ideas for new pages and I hope they will be along over the coming weeks – there’s a lot that gets an airing on this weblog but isn’t covered on the website, an omission I hope to rectify.

05-02-10 Meme


05-02-10 Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.

Here are the 12 questions, and my answers, to this week’s Flickr meme:

1. What was the last movie you saw in the theatre? None; in England you don’t watch movies in a theatre; it’s called a cinema!
2. Which parent do you think was the easiest for you to talk to when you were growing up? My mother
3. What shoes did you wear today? Trainers
4. What is your favourite season? Summer
5. Gum or Candy? Chocolate
6. When dismantling a bomb, do you cut the black wire or the yellow wire? The pink wire.
7. Do you whistle? Only when I snore
8. What is your favourite flower? Roses
9. Queen, The Beatles, or Rolling Stones? Late Beatles
10. What languages do you speak? English, maths, science, logic, common sense
11. Which chocolate company do you like the most? Divine
12. Top thing on your “to do” list? Make an appointment with my piercer

1. THE DOME, Cinema Worthing., 2. All About My Mother, 3. Inky trainer, 4. Hot, Air, Balloons … composite, 5. Chocolate heart on a pink gerbera daisy flower for you! (square), 6. Barbed Wire Pink, 7. Snore Graffitti, 8. Shades of ‘Marianne’ (hybrid gallica), 9. 170 – 1969 – Beatles, The – Abbey Road – UK – late 1970s, 10. another day., 11. The Heart Of Every Girl, 12. NEW LABRET PIERCING

As always the photographs are not mine so please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and normally 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.

Created with fd’s Flickr Toys

Are children traumatised by nudity?

This question is posed by Vanessa Woods in her blog Your Inner Bonobo.  As an anthropologist Woods, an Australian living in America, clearly doesn’t understand the default American assumption that the answer to the question is “Yes”.

This is something about America that puzzles me. What do children stare at for the first year of their life? I think it’s a female breast. Did [male student] think at the sight of naked breasts, every child under 5 would be lining up for a feed, like at an ice cream truck?  What is it, exactly, about breasts, that would be so terrifying to children?

[…] at no time have I seen a woman in public pull down her top and breast feed her child – which is totally common place in oz. And my friends here have told me it’s not socially acceptable.

Can someone explain it to me? Why is a wardrobe malfunction [as per Janet Jackson] a threat
to moral authority?

I fear that the explanation for America and the UK lies in the puritanism of the religious right. And of course as I’ve blogged before (for instance here) this seems to me and many others to be the root cause of the high rate of teenage pregnancy etc. in these two countries.

But what is the real answer to the question?  Are children really traumatised by nudity?

No, of course they’re not! Isn’t it daft just to suggest that they are?

In a recent-ish article in British Naturism’s magazine (BN, issue 182, Winter 2009; I’ve naughtily put a copy of the article online as it isn’t otherwise freely accessible to non-members) Roni Fine

explores the issues that surround the presumption from the outside world that simply being nude means a lot of saucy goings-on.

Yes a large part of the article is about the erroneous perception that the naturist movement is, by its very nature, merely a cover for “adult” activity.  It isn’t, and there’s the problem. Roni Fine goes on …

Too many people […] just cannot differentiate nudity from sex. If only they would visit a typical naturist club […]

The times I have heard people say it is “disgusting” to be undressed in front of children. They use [children] to warrant their own outrage […]

Outrage, I might add, which the same people cannot articulate when asked. Fine continues …

Children are not associating what they see with anything remotely sexual; they just see bodies. They grow up with a realistic attitude to the human form. I envy their upbringing.

And further on here’s the crux of the whole problem at an individual level: basically people don’t think things through:

[…] something is only “rude” if you perceive it to be so. How can the natural body be deemed as rude? We all have one, it is how we are made and it isn’t “rude” until someone tells us it is … so who are they to decide? And why let them dictate their own hang ups onto other people?

As BN’s researched briefing paper Children and Nudity says:

Young children are completely oblivious to their own nudity. Consider the archetypal nude toddler in the supermarket with a trail of discarded clothing behind them.

As they get older they are taught that clothing must be worn but until about age 10 or 11 it doesn’t really take hold. They will quite happily go naked when the circumstances are appropriate.

As children enter their teens they become more body conscious and unless they have prior experience of naturism they are usually nervous about participating.

Many naturist children become more reticent as they enter their teens but then teenagers are notorious for not wanting to do the things that their parents do. They do usually continue to participate, at least for activities such as swimming, and many return to naturism when they become more mature […]

There is no evidence that children are any more at risk at naturists events than at equivalent textile events. Indeed in some ways they are safer.

Let me end on a personal note …

I admit I had a somewhat bohemian upbringing, back in the 1950s and 60s. So it should be no surprise that when I was about 9 or 10 my parents were foresighted enough to organise a couple of summer holidays at a nudist club in Essex. I was totally not bothered by this; indeed I enjoyed the nudity and running round in the sun all day. Yes I realised that little girls were constructed differently to me; just as there was a difference between my parents’ anatomies. Beyond that I couldn’t care less; if anything I was more amused by the size and shape of peoples’ bums (typical small boy!). And that was the point; it was all part of my education to make me aware that people were all different and to be comfortable with nudity. It succeeded. I have retained that comfort ever since, even (as I recall) through the embarrassed teenage years.

So there we seem to have an answer.  Are children traumatised by nudity? Absolutely not – unless the adults they’re with tell them they are.

Adults … get a life!

4-18-10 Meme


4-18-10 Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.

Here are the 12 questions, and my answers, to this week’s Flickr meme:

1. Night Owl or Morning Person? Neither, but slightly more lark than owl
2. What is the one thing that will make you happy? Beer
3. If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be? God, except he doesn’t exist so I can’t
4. If you somehow became the opposite sex, what is the first thing you would do? Have sex; like probably most men I want to know what sex is like for a woman. Oh I’ll do all the other thigs as well, but let’s start at the beginning!
5. What time is it right now? Later than I’d like
6. Random word. Go Vespiary
7. What is the plural form of “Starbucks”? Poisoning
8. If you won 40 Billion in the lottery, what is the first thing you’d do? Faint
9. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Of course but you will never know
10. X-men or Spiderman? Xanthene; makes as much sense as the choices offered!
11. Sword or gun?Penis. Remember “Make love not war”? Or to put it another way: “The penis mightier than the sword”.
12. What do you do for fun on your day off? Be depressed

1. NO ONE LOVES ME & NEITHER DO I, 2. Adnams, 3. nothing, 4. Stephanie1, 5. Beware the Moon, 6. vespiary – under construction, 7. Poison Midnight, 8. faint pink lips, 9. You’ll never know if he’ll have body hair!, 10. The Secret to Cloning — Revealed!, 11. Penis_girl, 12. Soul

As always the photographs are not mine so please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and normally 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.

Created with fd’s Flickr Toys

4-4-10 Meme


4-4-10 Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.

So here are this week’s 12 questions and answers:

1. In your opinion, which country produces the best wine? France
2. What is your current favourite song? Oh, for today, let’s choose the Moody Blues, “Nice to be Here”
3. How would you describe your sense of humour? Eccentric
4. Adidas or Nike? Neither
5. Audrey Hepburn or Marilyn Monroe? Neither have ever done anything for me
6. Lemon or lime? Today it’s lemon, but it’s marginal and depends what for
7. How many megapixels on your camera on your phone? No clue; don’t care; don’t use it; I have a camera!
8. What do you think God looks like? As he doesn’t exist he can’t look like anything – probably
9. Do you like Pirates of the Caribbean? Only if barbecued
10. What’s your favourite pasta? Seafood linguini
11. Apples or oranges? Apples
12. What is the best airline company? Whichever has magic carpets

1. Sarlat – Frankreich – Le Moyen-Âge – france, 2. Corfe Castle, 3. Winnebago DaVinci, 4. WILD DIVA, 5. We Can Do It!, 6. Lemon tree, very pretty, and the lemon flower is sweet, But the fruit of the lemon is impossible to eat., 7. i don’t care., 8. righteous blasphemy, 9. Pirates of the Caribbean – HMS Interceptor makes way under a Full Moon, 10. Linguini Pescatore, 11. Clouds in my apple, 12. magic carpet ride

As always the photographs are not mine so please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and normally 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.

Created with fd’s Flickr Toys

ABC of Me

I found this one ages ago and keep meaning to do it.  So at last here is an ABC of me …

Age: 59
Bed: King size; if the bedroom was bigger we’d probably have a bigger bed
Chore you hate: all of them except cooking
Dog’s name: Sue; went to the great kennel in the sky 40 years ago
Essential start your day item: Tea
Favourite colours: Red, yellow, green
Gold or Silver: Silver; it’s a pity is is so soft
Height: 1.8m
Instruments you [wish you could] play: I always fancied the trombone, or something odd like a serpent, or a jazz-style double bass
Job title: Resident Idiot
Kids: None; phew!
Living arrangements: A house that looks like a jumble sale
Mom’s name: Dora
Nicknames: None that I’ll admit to 😉
Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Not many, actually: sleep clinic a couple of times, appendectomy, sinus operation
Pet Peeve: Politicians and the religious
Quote from a movie and/or book: “It’ll pass, Sir, like other days in the Army” [Anthony Powell; The Soldier’s Art]
Right or left handed: Right and only right
Siblings: None
Time you wake up: 0630 hrs on swimming days
Underwear: Boxers, when I have to; nothing if I’m at home or wearing shorts
Vegetable you dislike: Sweetcorn
Ways you run late: Travel delays are about the only thing which ever makes me late
X-rays you’ve had: Mostly dental; but there have been others: sinuses, bowel, kidneys, foot
Yummy food you make: Curry
Zodiac sign: Capricorn

Make of that what you will.

60 Years Ago

In turning out some papers at my mother’s bungalow, I came across a couple of pages of badly typed text characteristic of my father. Reading the text it turns out to be the start of (I feel) a slightly romanticised version of my parents’ experiences of the garden etc. on moving into my childhood home in September 1950. My father must have written it in 1967. I’ve tidied the text up and am reproducing it here for posterity, should he be interested.

When we moved to Waltham Cross in September 1950 it was like moving to the country. After living in a flat in Camden Town, it was wonderful to be able to walk out of the house into the garden, although it had been neglected for more than 6 months.

I resolved to keep (some sort of) an account of the wildlife that came to visit us, for although only 12 miles from London we were on the edge of the northern suburbs and open country was not far away.

Over the years this has changed. More and more people have come to live here, and during the last 8 years, since a second station was opened and the line electrified, the population has increased enormously and we are now well in the suburbs.

Our small garden, 16 feet wide by 80-100 feet long, was cut in two by a central path. Immediately outside the kitchen door there were several ramshackle sheds. And a wire fence divided the small patch of grass from the so-called kitchen garden, which contained most of the soft fruits, a very well pruned pear tree, and one enormous sunflower.

It was several years before the pear tree fruited properly, and when we found it was a Conference pear we were overjoyed. It has grown to a beautiful shape and is a joy to behold when it blooms in April. In autumn it normally sheds its leaves without much change of colour, but it sometimes surprises us and in November 196? [the year is unreadable – K] was more beautiful in gold leaf than it was in flower in spring. It held these golden leaves for several days and shed a sunny light over all the garden. Then in two days it was bare and the ground beneath was almost knee deep in gold. It is one thing I would be very sorry to leave. [See above for a painting of the pear tree by my mother – K]

During that first winter we were busy with the house and having a baby [that was me – K], and the garden was left to itself. I hung up cheese for the tits to feed on and they came to feed, lifting the cheese up to the branch on which they were standing and pecking away at it. The one enormous sunflower was a fine bird table, and tits, Wrens and Greenfinches all came to take the seeds. I was sorry when it became empty, it was such a feeding place for birds.

We made small excursions from the house and discovered that our lane led to grassy marshes bordering the River Lea. This lane is an old British track which comes from the hills of Hertfordshire. Once across the marsh there are corresponding tracks leading into the hills of Essex.

By April the weather was wonderful, and on the 26th there were swallows over the house, in the evening. On the 29th I heard a Cuckoo for the first time that year at 6 AM. There he was again the next morning at 6 AM and again at 3.45 in the afternoon. But the good weather was short lived and in May we had a second winter. In spite of this cold weather the hawthorns were in full blossom. And Yellow Deadnettle, Herb Robert and Holly were in flower in Theobalds Lane.

The summer was spent reorganising the garden. First the old sheds had to come down. Then once they were cleared and burnt, we were able to take up the central path and relay it. We decided that it should be straight at the bottom of the garden, for convenience of growing a few vegetables. But where we were going to make a lawn, a sweeping curve of crazy paving should follow the line of the flower border. This irregular border gave added interest to the long narrow garden.

We transplanted the fruit bushes to a bed between the lawn and the vegetables, and planted rambler roses along the fences. Now in the summer time when they are all in leaf, we have a green enclosure where we can relax in the sun.

In September that year [1951] I was doing some chores at the kitchen sink when a sudden disturbance caught my ear. Looking up I saw 12 Long-Tailed Tits in the apple tree. We had only once before seen long-tailed tits and that was in a Sussex copse. I hoped they had come to stay, but in a trice they had gone. In the next January they came again, but only to pass through. In the 17 years we have been here I have seen these birds only on these two occasions.

What my father doesn’t mention in this are the coldness of the house, the regularly frozen pipes in winter (and his temper in having to deal with them before going to work), hot water thanks only to an Ideal boiler, open wood (or coal) fires, keeping chickens and the wonderful acres of rose nursery opposite our house which were sadly grubbed up for housing in the late 1950s. He does, though, hint at the delightfulness of the blackcurrants and raspberries from the garden.

Quoted text (c) Robert Edward Marshall, 1967