Category Archives: personal

personal, pleasures

Ten Things #7

So, here’s my list of ten things for July.
10 Trees in My Garden:

  1. Apple (an old tree, which we think is James Grieve; it may be as much as 80 years old but still gives us some fruit every year!); also two ornamental crab apples
  2. Silver Birch; and the closely related Downey Birch
  3. Spruce (not sure the exact species as they were potted Christmas trees)
  4. Rowan
  5. Hawthorn (self-set)
  6. Liquidamber (grown from seed by me)
  7. Cherry — an edible cherry as well as a couple of ornamentals
  8. Pedunculate Oak (that’s Quercus robur, our native English Oak; self-set probably from an acorn cached by a bird; now 20 years old and growing slowly; hopefully a lasting legacy when all the others are gone)
  9. Pittosporum
  10. Holm Oak, Quercus ilex

Pine Cones
Cones on one of our Spruce trees

Yes we really do have that many different species of tree — and a few more — in our (not over large) suburban garden. And we’ve planted/encouraged them all except the old apple tree which was here when we came 30+ years ago. They’re all a bit crammed in and many quite young (under 20) so not all are yet huge trees but the birches, the English Oak and the Liquidamber are as tall as the house. In the past we’re also had a pear tree, ash tree and an elder tree.
The neighbours don’t understand why we like trees. They don’t like anything that grows over 3 feet high. They must like looking at the backs of the houses in the next road.
But we do like trees. They add shade, make dividers between “rooms” in the garden and they encourage wildlife. Because we have a woodland glade we get lots of birds and squirrels as well as woodland edge butterflies like Speckled Wood which wouldn’t be here otherwise.
We need more trees, and suburban gardens are actually a good place for them (just not too close to the foundations). If more people planted a couple of trees it would help clean the air and encourage wildlife by providing small green corridors for them to move along.
Something else we can all do is to encourage our local councils to plant trees in the streets and on verges. Most councils are open to people suggesting a site for a tree. And if you want one outside you house, and are prepared to fund it (our council charges £250 for the tree and planting), the council is more likely to plant that tree.
We need trees. We need to encourage wildlife diversity. We need to keep England green. And you feel good for giving something back to the environment.

personal

Five Questions, Series 6

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Many moons ago I said I would do another round of “Five Questions”. Just to keep us all on our toes. And well, we all need a snigger from time to time.
So here, in series 6, is another selection of difficult and stupid questions, all of which can be interpreted with whatever degree of seriousness and erudition you like — or not.


The five questions for series 6 are:

  1. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
  2. If anything is possible, then is it possible that nothing is possible?
  3. If you had to wear a warning label, what would it say?
  4. If all the nations in the world are in debt, who’s got the money?
  5. What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Again, like the previous series if you take them seriously I think they’re going to be deceptively tricky. I certainly don’t know exactly how I’m going to answer them all; it will depend very much on how I feel at the time.
Anyway I’ll answer them one at a time over the coming weeks, I hope starting next week with question one. If you want to follow along then post your own interpretations in the comments to each answer, or post it on our own blog and put a link in the comments.
And as I’ve said before, if anyone has any more good questions, then please send them to me. I’d like to continue to do this a couple of times a year so good, but potentially fun, questions are needed.

personal, ramblings

Life on an Even Keel

Around here we like life on an even keel; things going along smoothly. Yes, of course there is the occasional annoyance, like broken washing machines or pond pumps, but they are seldom catastrophic or disasters and are generally easily fixed or bypassed.
What surprises me is that this seems to be totally contrary to the way many of our friends and acquaintances operate. They seem to be unable to ride along smoothly, bobbing along on the waves of irritation. They seem to have to stagger continually from one crisis to the next — often several at a time — with even the smallest setback being an end-of-world catastrophe and needing others to help dig them out of the midden.
I can’t understand how people can operate like this. It would do my head in and seems to be so mentally destructive. It must be either a way of life of their choosing or an ingrained manifestation of adolescent angst which they cannot shake off.
Now, OK, I’ll admit we don’t indulge in many of the activities which are more liable to provide unforeseen (even foreseen) disasters. We don’t have kids, or kids-kids, so we don’t have to cope with illness, accident, the vagaries of schools, lost boy/girl-friends etc. etc. We don’t own a car (in fact neither of us can drive).** We own our house and don’t move every 3 years. We don’t spend all our leisure time flying round the world in search of sun, sand etc.
[** Not having kids and not driving are probably the two greenest things we’ve ever done, or ever can do, in our lives.]
We decided years ago that these were things we didn’t need to do, so we wouldn’t. I calculated many years ago that using a taxi when we need one, although it feels expensive, is actually cheaper than having a car, and so much less stressful — it hardly ever stops us being where we need to be; and for longer journeys we enjoy trains. Our house is adequate for the needs of the two of us, albeit not in the very best of areas, and we’re not ones for wanting to boil like lobsters in sunnier climes.
That doesn’t mean we don’t do things and don’t get to the places we need/want to, though it does mean we need to plan ahead a bit more, thus foregoing a certain amount of spontaneity. We try to think ahead and make considered, rational decisions: plan twice, act once.
Of course things go wrong. And when they do, well that’s life. You pick up, shrug your shoulders, work out how best to fix the problem and move on. It is neither a drama nor a crisis.
As an example, a couple of weeks ago we were both due, the same afternoon, to go to the dentist for our bi-annual check-ups and abuse by the hygienist. Our dentist is 7-8 miles away and we keep going to him because he is so excellent, despite that it needs a taxi. In fact on this occasion a friend had promised to run us over there in return for petrol money, coffee and cake — fair enough. But at the appointed time said friend didn’t appear; and mobile phone contact failed.
Having reached past the appointed hour, even for Plan B, we rang the dentist and explained nicely what had happened and rebooked the appointments. If the dentist decided to charge us for late cancellation, as we expected and knew he should, well such is life; it happens occasionally. In the event they haven’t charged us. It turns out said friend was ill for a couple of days and hadn’t been able to top up his phone; hence the lack of contact. Yes it was inconvenient and it might have cost us money, but it wasn’t a grand tragedy. We carried on and enjoyed a bonus free afternoon!
Basically it is as Noreen says: we don’t do panic, excitement, drama or surprise; we just roll along letting things largely wash over us; taking everything in our stride. It all seems to be common sense — but then as we know there is no such thing!
I’ve had to learn to do this; I don’t know how I did it, but it has certainly helped me a lot over the years. I couldn’t have done project management at the level I did without it.
OK, our approach is not always benign. For instance we don’t always put the effort we maybe should into having things repaired, but resort to throwing money at the problem and buying a new one — although that is always a considered decision. We’re lucky that (at the moment) we can afford to. And of course it’s all doing our bit to keep the economy going. It is all part of keeping things ticking along gently and evenly so we don’t, for example, spend three weeks without a washing machine while someone fails to source replacement parts. Yes, it’s a trade-off between a peaceful existence and being green — slightly less green, maybe slightly better karma and certainly lower blood pressure? We could, I’m sure do better …
But having said that I just do not understand how people can exist on a continual roller-coaster of drama, panic, crisis and catastrophe.
It’s probably good that we’re not all alike.

medical, personal, ramblings

Wearying up to the Weekend

I’m tired. I want to sit and fall asleep but if I do I won’t get any dinner, because the time is approaching.
The week started off quietly, but the last couple of days have been surprisingly heavy.
Yesterday morning Noreen and I had our first introduction to yoga breathing, and some simple yoga. That’s quite tiring because I’m not very flexible (I never was) and not at all fit (entirely self-inflicted). You are also having to concentrate like mad on what you’re being told to do!
After a quick dash home and some lunch it was off to the optician for my annual eye test. Which is fine, although as I’m diabetic I always get my optician to do a retinopathy scan (basically photograph the back of my eyes). This involves drops in the eyes to dilate the pupils and leaves you unable to focus for several hours. Disorientating to say the least and, as yesterday, it sometimes makes you feel a bit queasy and in need of a lie down. So that too is quite tiring. In fact I often sleep for an hour or so when I get home and my eyes recover.
(Yes, as a diabetic you do get a routine annual NHS retinopathy scan, but I like my optician to do it as well — if only because I get to see the pictures!)
In case anyone is wondering, which is what your retina looks like through a camera lens (this is my right eye yesterday).

retina

Today I have spent the whole day in a training session (on healthcare commissioning, since you ask). On a warm day; in an inside conference room with 15 other people and no control over the aircon. Luckily it was actually interesting, so I didn’t fall asleep despite the temptation!
But brilliant — along the way today I managed to get a couple of things cancelled next week. So I get a free day. Well that’s the current theory, anyway. Better book a day out so we have to get up early!
Arrggghhhh!!!!! But tomorrow it is up early again as it is supermarket day (we normally go on a Friday) and the only sensible time to go is early morning before it gets too busy. Roll up to the supermarket and look to see if there are any good reductions on the meat counter. Then off for coffee and breakfast before tackling the bulk of the job. Hopefully home by mid-morning.
Maybe I get a lay-in on Sunday? Well here’s hoping anyway.
Retirement is such hard work! How do we ever find the time and energy to go to work? Beats me!

amusements, personal, quotes

Ten Things #5

OK, so here’s my May list of ten things. This month …
10 Quotes I Like:

  1. It’ll pass, Sir, like other days in the Army.
    [Anthony Powell]

  2. The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
    [Flannery O’Connor]

  3. Be careful what you wear to bed at night, you never know who you’ll meet in your dreams.

  4. If we don’t change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are going.
    [Chinese Proverb]

  5. Every harlot was a virgin once.
    [William Blake, Innocence]

  6. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
    [Soren Kierkegaard]

  7. The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it.
    [Truman Capote]

  8. Life is a disease; sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.

  9. Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
    [GK Chesterton]

  10. Granny grasped her broomstick purposefully. “Million-to-one chances,” she said, “crop up nine times out of ten.”
    [Terry Pratchett; Equal Rites]

medical, personal

What's that you say?

Now I know I’m getting old. No amend that. I really am well past it!
I’ve been noticing for some time that I’ve not always been hearing everything people say clearly — especially when the person in question is Noreen. So far so normal; we know men never hear anything their wives say! But I was also struggling more and more to hear people talking to me across the table in a noisy restaurant or pub.
A couple of months back, Boots were offering a free, quick hearing test. So I said “yes” and the result was that they said I have noticeable, though not severe, age-related hearing loss. But they would, wouldn’t they! They are in the business of selling expensive hearing aids.
So rather than go their expensive route unnecessarily I went to my GP, who referred me to the local NHS audiology service.
(Our local audiology service is provided by a private company, In Health, as Ealing and Harrow both contract services to “any qualified provider”. They operate out of several local clinics rather than the local hospitals.)
Finally I got to see the audiology people this morning for a much more thorough test — which is all I was expecting to happen. And yes, I do have quite significant drop off in my hearing at middle to high frequencies, which is typical of age-related hearing loss.
Well taht was no real surprise as there is age-related deafness on both sides of my family, as well as my aunt (father’s kid sister) having, I think, had hearing aids since her 40s.
So I have joined the family club with hearing aids!
WHHAAATTTT!!!!
Yes, I have hearing aids!
I really wasn’t expecting that! I was expecting either “you have hearing loss, but it isn’t bad; come for another test in two years” or “yes you need hearing aids, come back in 2 weeks for another appointment and further assessment”. But no, it was “I can do this for you now”.
I’m not sure I really need hearing aids yet, but the advice was that it is better to start with them now, and get used to them, rather than struggle with them later when I really do need them. Exactly the opposite of having glasses.
So I agreed. Because one thing I am determined about is not becoming an awkward old git who denies that they can’t hear, or see, or need help. I remember my parents moaning about their parents being obstinate. And then I watched my parents do exactly the same things my grandparents did! I am determined not to go there. If I do, you have permission to shoot me.
What was amazing about this morning’s appointment was the efficiency of it all — apart from the fact that I was very early and was kept waiting until my appointment time which was tedious but understandable. Then in a 45 minute appointment the young lady tested my hearing quite thoroughly and explained the results. She discussed with me the need for hearing aids. Tried which type fitted me best and she dispensed the hearing aids there and then — setting them up and programming them for me, showing me how they worked, etc.
ha1I find it incredible that such tiny “in the ear” bud-type hearing aids (that’s them on the right, sitting on a 50p piece) can not only contain their tiny battery, and all the audio equipment, but that they are programmable down a thin wire from a PC.
OK the hearing aids are obviously still fairly basic ones, and not adjustable by me, as that’s likely all I need at present. But all this is on the NHS and free of charge. Which I find quite extraordinary. OK yes, that’s maybe how it should be, but I would not have expected at this stage of hearing loss to have qualified for free hearing aids.
When I got home, Noreen was equally incredulous. She has been complaining for a couple of years that I don’t hear what she says to me, but when I told her I had hearing aids, her comment was “Why? You’re not that deaf!”
So there you are … To add to the already old, blind and daft, I’m now deaf as well.

memes, personal

Ay to Zee

I’ve decided that we’ll have another irregular series, an A to Z. Unlike 10 things this won’t be a regular monthly feature — I considered it and thought that one such a month was enough and I’d do an A-Z when the whim takes me. I also decided that we’ll start with …
An A-Z of Me
A — Age: 63 on the calendar. Mentally it varies from 21 to 91. Physically it feels more like 163.
B — Blood Type: Not a clue; I’ve never been told.
C — Chore You Hate: All of them, especially housework. 
D — Dogs or Cats: Definitely cats. I don’t dislike dogs but I don’t have the affinity with them I do with cats. 
E — Expletive Deleted: Usually f**k or c**t. 
F — Fun Thing: The London Eye.
G — Greatest Accomplishment: Survival.
H — Haircut: Yes, I finally managed to get to the barber last week; only 6 weeks late!
I — I’d Like To Be: Thinner, fitter and richer.


J — Japan or China: Japan. I’d like to see both although Japan would win, except that I disapprove of their stance on whaling and I don’t much fancy a 12+ hour flight.
K — Kids: No, thank goodness. Two cats is enough, thank you!
L — Luxury: A warm, sunny, sandy beach and an endless supply of cool beer.
M — Married: Yes for half a lifetime.
N — Nude or Clothed: Nude when possible, clothed when necessary. In that order.
O — Operation: Yes, I’ve had several but nothing major: appendix, sinuses, knees.
P — Piercings: Yes one, somewhere you probably don’t want to know about.
Q — Quirky Possession: A Tibetan singing bowl and two Bhutanese Thanka.
R — Random Fact: I’ve never eaten a hamster or a goldfish, either alive or dead.
S — Siblings: No, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to have brothers and sisters.
T — Tattoos: Not yet.
U — Underwear: Only when I have to.
V — Vanilla or Chocolate: Vanilla. While I don’t mind real chocolate I dislike chocolate flavouring. Though I had some mango sorbet the other day which was out of this world!
W — Waiting for: A big lottery win.
X — X-Rays: Had a few of these over the years and always found the images fascinating.
Y — Yummy Food: Curry.
Z — Zoo Animal Favourite: Meercats and the aquarium.
What about you? Either leave your answers in the comments or on your blog with a link in the comments.
And another A-Z when the mood takes me.

personal

Ten Things #4

Here’s my April list of Ten Things.
10 Things I Consider Works of the Devil:

  1. Umbrellas
  2. Religion
  3. Pernod
  4. Halloween
  5. Butternut Squash
  6. Gnocci
  7. Golf
  8. Net Curtains
  9. Muzak
  10. Sweetcorn
personal, photography

Weekly Photograph

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This weeks photo is of our friends John and Midori, who we met for lunch when they were passing through London last week. They are on one of their rare visits to this country to see John’s family. John, originally from Norwich, has been teaching English at universities in Japan for around 30 years; he was one of the founder members of the Anthony Powell Society. John is also a world expert on the traditional music of Okinawa — he blogs at The Power of Okinawa — so when he semi-retired a few years ago it was natural that they moved to Okinawa, the semi-tropical Ryukyu Islands at the very southern extremity of Japan. They were living in Kobe at the time of the Great Hanshin earthquake of 1995.

Click the image for a larger view

John & Midori
London; March 2014

personal

I didn’t get where I am today…

Just to continue the personal theme here’s another post which has been gestating for a while.
Quite a few years ago, one of the weekend colour supplements ran an interview series under the title “I didn’t get where I am today without …”. Each week it asked the usual celebrity to specify up to six things that had got them where they were.
I was reminded of this recently when I happened across an odd copy of the column (undated and unsourced, which is unlike me) which I had obviously annotated with the view of turning it into a blog post. So here it is.
I didn’t get where I am today without …
K at about 51. Bohemian Parents. OK so there was a lot of covert pressure and controlling in my childhood from my somewhat dysfunctional father (which has screwed me up in many ways) — hence the sad little boy on the right. But my parents’ general bohemianism, and liberal attitudes to things like nudity and sexuality, mean I’m at ease with my body, with nudity and with sexuality. I was encouraged to learn; I was given an environment in which I could investigate anything I wanted; and in which I could develop my own ideas — even if they did clash with my father’s. All of which was made easier as I was a teenager in the swinging 1960s.
2. Religion . That might sound strange coming from someone who is such a confirmed atheist, especially as I was raised as an atheist — certainly agnostic — mainly because of my father’s rebellion against his stifling Baptist upbringing. However like everyone, I suspect, I dabbled in Christianity – joining the Roman Catholic church when a post-graduate, although I soon found it unfulfilling, and even to my mind immoral. I subsequently learnt something about many other religions and belief systems but eventually found none to be necessary and most actively destructive. But this led me to my current philosophies and becoming very much my own person, based on my own understanding of “life, the universe and everything”.
3. Technology. Technology, specifically computing technology, has been central to my working life. I learnt programming as a student, used it as a post-grad and that helped get me an entrée into the IT industry when my dreams of an academic career ran out. My father never forgave me for giving up on academe in favour of the world of commercialism and especially computer technology (of which he deeply disapproved); but to his credit he never tried very hard to dissuade me from it. So I spent almost the whole of my working life in IT — not all of it doing deeply techie stuff, but all there because of the technology. I cannot imagine what I would have spent my life doing without it.
4. Being a Research Student. Many people say that their student days were their formative years, but for me being an undergraduate was really only an extension of school. It is my post-grad days which were my formative years when I made some deep long-lasting friendships, discovered lots about everything and had the time and space to start developing my intellectual skills. And it is this ability to think and be a thorn in peoples’ side that has caused me trouble right throughout my working life. Somehow I managed to get a PhD along the way too; I still don’t know how!
These are the days I would wish to return to, if I had the ability — and I could do it all so much better now!
BackInTheJug
5. Being a Loser. I feel that I have been a loser all my life; and a loner (see again the sad little boy above). I was never a high-flyer at school and was a quiet, shy, scared kid with few friends, especially girl-friends. This continued into my student days when I had a number of conspicuous failures, most notably a long-term relationship which when it failed almost cost me my degree. This continued as a post-grad, culminating in the failure of my academic dreams, in large part due to my idleness.
Was the world of work any better? Not a lot; it too produced a number of conspicuous failures, several of which almost cost me my job – not because of major cock-ups but more by being the wrong sort of guy in the wrong place at the wrong time when things got tough; or because I “tell it like it is” and not how management would like it to be (aka. wrong attitude). And it’s trying to pull away from the wrong guy/wrong place/wrong time scenario that has led me to rise above the many negative influences of my childhood.
Although in all truth I’ve done reasonably well compared with many, all this means I feel I have not done as well as I think I should have, especially given my intellectual ability: in terms of recognition, money, personal fulfilment or impact on society. On the other hand without all those setbacks, and enforced changes of direction, I would not have got to where I am now!

w22
The Wedding Photo, 1979.
L to R: Victor (Best Man), Maeve, Me, Noreen, Margaret, Jilly.

6. Noreen. Noreen and I have been married for almost 35 years. Over any time like that there will be many things which one wouldn’t have done without the support and encouragement of one’s partner. And we’ve been no exception; Noreen has consistently supported what I want to do and on many occasions happily joined in. Without that I would not have done much of what I have.
But Noreen’s effect on where I am now starts even before we married. When we were discussing getting married I was having to change job. I had two job offers: one in west London and the other in Winchester. But Noreen’s job — the job she had always wanted to do — was tied to London; and Winchester would have been a horrible commute. So I chose to take the London job offer rather than force Noreen to give up her cherished job (or have a long, expensive commute); and we’re still in London. Had Noreen and I not been in the throes of shackling ourselves together I likely would have taken the Winchester job — and who knows where that would have led?
There’s another thing for which I have to thank Noreen: she introduced me to Jilly, her best friend from school. Apart from the fact that I had an affair with Jilly (and who wouldn’t!) it was she who introduced me to Anthony Powell’s A Dance to the Music of Time. This sustained me through recovery from glandular fever and so captivated me that, in time, my enthusiasm was translated into a major web resource and into the Anthony Powell Society; 14 years on I remain the Society’s Hon. Secretary. The AP Soc has taken me to interesting places and introduced me to many interesting people; it really has been one of the major influences on my life.
I didn’t get where I am today by being somewhere else.