Category Archives: personal

beliefs, personal, thoughts

The Need for Cosmogony and Ceremony

One of our favourite Zen Masters, Brad Warner, recently wrote the ridiculousness of religions, what he called “religulous belief”. As regular readers will surmise, these are views with which I have much sympathy. However along the way Brad did explain why liturgy remains important to me despite my lack of belief in deities.

Here is an editied version of Brad’s article, as it partly explains something which has long puzzled me:

Bill Maher and like-minded people such as Richard Dawkins always make the same complaints about religions. They attack the religion’s cosmogony – its myths, its creation story, its ideas about heavens, hells, angels and all that. They point out that this stuff is ridiculous. Then they figure the job is done.

Most religions have pretty dopey stories attached to them … Even mainstream religions have ideas that sound pretty silly when you examine them; virgin birth, parting of seas, swallowings by whales, people rising from the dead, and so on. Some Buddhist ideas … are just as weird.
…
I don’t think most people join religions because they are convinced by their cosmogony. People don’t say, “You guys teach that God lives on planet Kolob? That sounds reasonable. Sign me up!”
…
Being without faith is a luxury for people who were fortunate enough to have a fortunate life. You go to prison and you hear people say, ‘I got nothing but Jesus in here.’ If you’re in a foxhole you probably have a lot of faith. I completely understand that. But how can smart people believe in the talking snake and people living to be 900 years old and virgin birth? …

The answer is that we’re all in a foxhole. We’re all in prison. Maybe not literally, but metaphorically. We’re all going to get sick and die. We’re all imprisoned by society to one extent or another. Even “fortunate” people have to suffer misfortune. It’s inevitable …

People will cling to anything that makes the sadness of life a little easier to take. Being wrong but happy feels better than being right but miserable.

… Buddhism, at least in the Zen school … doesn’t insist that we have to believe in Buddhist cosmogony. Most schools of Buddhism don’t have a strong insistence on belief in Buddhist cosmogony – although some do. But the Zen school is probably the most radical in its rejection of such beliefs.

Yet … Zennies … still retain many of the trappings of Buddhist schools in which such beliefs are held more strongly. They still have ceremonies in which they honour mythological figures …

Nobody ever insists that you have to believe … yet we play along just like people who do believe these things.

… these ceremonies have practical value. They help people get along together. They give them a sense of belonging and community. Their “lies” … ease some of our worries and fears. And they can do this even if we know perfectly well they’re not true …

This is very interesting as it says to me this is (at least partly) how liturgy and ceremony work: by reinforcing community, easing worries, despite our better judgement. Although I still think there is something even deeper, more magic, about really good liturgy like Tridentine Latin Mass.

I think it may be similar to the way it feels good to hear someone you love tell you it’s going to be all right when you’re sick … We all need that …

Some good food for thought!

beliefs, personal, thoughts

Personal Boundaries

Sometime earlier I came across the following on Twitter. It seems to me to be a good summary of how we should be, and how I try (not always successfully) to be. If you think about it, it is indeed all to do with boundaries, as the initial postulate says, and looking after oneself.

What do boundaries feel like?
•  It is not my job to fix others
•  It is OK if others get angry
•  It is OK to say no
•  It is not my job to take responsibility for others
•  I don’t have to anticipate the needs of others
•  It is my job to make me happy
•  Nobody has to agree with me
•  I have a right to my own feelings
•  I am enough

I would add one thing to this, really for the sake of clarity:

•  I am not responsible for other people’s feelings and emotions

Ultimately, it is my responsibility to look after me and only me, both mentally and physically; it is your responsibility to look after you and only you. No more, no less. Think about it. All our emotions, beliefs, needs, feelings, come from within; and you are the only person who can access and control your particular set of baggage.

It isn’t always easy to do all this – indeed it isn’t always easy to remember all of this, especially when we live in a world where the prevailing ethos is predicated on “doing unto others” rather than looking after one’s own well-being. But I try; I do my best; and one cannot ask more. As John Cheever said:

Could I do better, dear heart, better is what I would do.

amusements, personal

Ten Things

Ten Things this month takes a brief look at where the money goes.

Ten Things I’ve Bought in the Last Month:

  1. Top hat
  2. Bacon sandwich
  3. Army regiment cap badge
  4. 18 bottles of wine
  5. Sausages
  6. Pelargoniums
  7. Peach Schnapps
  8. Indian restaurant lunch
  9. Petrol
  10. Train tickets
amusements, personal

Another Meme

Another meme, courtesy AJB on Facebook. It’s almost inevitably a variant on previous ones but is about the height of my abilities today.

  1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Toothbrush, toothpaste, water.
  2. Do you sleep naked? Of course. Why would anyone not? It’s just so much more comfortable, even in winter.
  3. Worst physical pain in your life? Post-knee replacement.
  4. Worst emotional pain of your life? Break-up with my first long-term girlfriend.
  5. Favourite place you have ever been? Probably Dungeness.
  6. How late did you stay up last night? I crashed about 11pm.
  7. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be? Lots of contenders outside London: Dungeness, Rye, Lyme Regis, Norwich.

    8. Prospect Cottage, Dungeness
    Derek Jarman’s Prospect Cottage, Dungeness [© KCM]

  8. Which of your Facebook friends lives the closest? Noreen – she’s less than 10 feet away!
  9. When was the last time you cried? Probably last year?
  10. Who took your profile picture? Me.
  11. What’s your favourite season? Late-spring/early-summer.
  12. If you could have any career what would it be? Dilettante researcher, looking at whatever I feel like and being paid handsomely for doing it.
  13. What was the last book you read? I’ve several books in progress, but the last one I finished was Gesshin Claire Greenwood, Bow First, Ask Questions Later. Here’s my review.
  14. If you could talk to anyone right now, who would it be? My mother.
  15. Are you a good influence? I do hope not.
  16. Does pineapple belong on a pizza? No, and neither does peach, or chicken.
  17. You have the remote, what show will you be watching? Nothing.
  18. Two people who you think will play? I hope no-one is so stupid.
  19. Last concert you went to? It’s so long ago I don’t have a clue.
  20. Favourite type of food? Lots of contenders, but I’ll go for curry.

Join in if the mood takes you.

food+drink, personal

Rosé d’Amour!

Some while back I wrote about the Tavel Rosé, Richard Maby’s Prima Donna, I’d bought from the Wine Society. We continue to enjoy it. In fact it gets better as the supply has now moved on from the 2016, which is what I wrote about, to the 2017 vintage.

And yes, the 2017 is even better than the 2016. It is a little paler in colour, but if anything bursting with even more red berry fruits – especially raspberry.

Now the Wine Society have very recently got what was obviously a small parcel of Maby’s new Tavel, the 2016 Libiamo. I grabbed a case of six without hesitation.

At £17 a bottle Libiamo is significantly more expensive than the Prima Donna, at a mere £11. But if I thought the Prima Donna was good, Libiamo is just out of this world. It’s the same deep coloured rosé, with the same burst of red berry fruits. But oh! how the oak barrels in which it is aged come through: as a delightful ambiance of dry sherry. So much dry sherry that it almost feels like a fortified wine – which is brilliant. We were both stunned!

We’ve just drunk a bottle with a quite rich spaghetti with prawns in a sun-dried tomato pesto sauce. They went so well together; the richness of each complementing the other.

No wonder Libiamo is already sold out! I can only hope there will be further supplies!

medical, personal

On Depression – VII

Another in my very occasional series of articles on depression – my depression. They are written from a very personal perspective; they are my views of how I see things working and what it feels like on the inside. Your views and experiences may be vastly different. My views and experiences are not necessarily backed by scientific evidence or current medical opinion. These articles are not medical advice or treatment pathways. If you think you have a problem then you should talk to your primary care physician.

Articles on Depression

Here’s a small selection of links to articles on depression which you may find useful and/or interesting.

medical, personal, thoughts

On Depression – VI

Another in my very occasional series of articles on depression – my depression. They are written from a very personal perspective; they are my views of how I see things working and what it feels like on the inside. Your views and experiences may be vastly different. My views and experiences are not necessarily backed by scientific evidence or current medical opinion. These articles are not medical advice or treatment pathways. If you think you have a problem then you should talk to your primary care physician.

Noise and Depression

Helicopters, leaf blowers, sirens, car alarms, washing machines, motorways, food processors, construction sites, microwaves, air conditioners, lawn mowers, hair dryers, motorcycles, motorboats, cell phones, TVs, stereos, car doors, people constantly talking loudly, aeroplanes, screaming children …

We have non-stop noise these days in our lives.  How can we possibly have mental clarity and peace?  Our minds are constantly being jolted and thrown violently back and forth by this sudden noise and then the next. [1]

We live in a noisy world – we shouldn’t. No wonder we get so fraught, anxious and depressed.

It is well established that noise is a major disrupter of health – both physical and mental – and seems to be a factor in depression [1,2,3,4,5,6].

Is depression the inevitable aftermath of unabating stress on our bodies, minds and souls living in this noisy, fast-paced modern society? If depression can be caused by a depletion of chemicals that our body naturally produces when in harmony, how can we expect to have this harmony in such an environment that violently assaults our natural relaxed state with noise at two-second intervals? [1]

Noise is certainly a factor in my depression, which is often triggered by pure overload. I don’t want to be assailed by noise – any noise, but especially secondhand noise – just as I don’t want to have too much to do heaped on me.

I need quiet. Much to Noreen’s bemusement, I seldom play music these days; or have the TV or radio on. I used to have something playing all the time but I now cannot function with continual background distraction. Continual (especially man-made) noise – even just the hum of my PC – drives me up the wall.

We live in a noisy world – far too noisy. To demonstrate just how noisy our world is, try doing my 10-minute test.

  1. You will need: pencil and paper, a watch.
  2. Go and sit outside, somewhere where you aren’t going to be disturbed for 10 minutes: your garden, your balcony or the square you live in.
  3. Sit quietly and listen – really listen, 100%.
  4. Write down every single noise you hear as you hear it. (If you hear it more than once, write it down each time.) What do you hear?
  5. At the end of 10 minutes have a look at your list. How many noises have you written down? How many are natural sounds (birds, animals, the wind, the stream); how many are man-made (cars, planes, appliances)?
  6. Ideally you should be able to hear only natural sounds – the more man-made sounds you hear, the more your environment will be stressing you.

Now compare with what Piers Plowman would have heard 500 or more years ago while eating his lunchtime bread and cheese under a tree: birds, sheep, a distant dog barking, wind rustling the trees, his horses’ whinnying, a babbling brook, maybe the swoosh of the windmill. How often do any of us hear these natural sounds?

Unless you live in the depths of the countryside I wouldn’t mind betting well over 50% of your noises are man-made and/or drown out the natural. That, at least, is my experience. OK, it isn’t scientific, but it is likely to demonstrate just how noisy our environment is. Is it any wonder we feel hammered?

What can you do about it? Here are twelve things which may help you:

  1. Avoid places with high noise levels; if necessary walk away to somewhere quieter.
  2. Avoid open-plan offices; research shows they are a major disrupter of work and mental processes [2].
  3. Don’t have the TV, radio or hi-fi on unless there is something specific you want to listen to/watch (and then give it your undivided attention).
  4. Don’t play music, especially through headphones, as background; this doesn’t make it better [2].
  5. Complain in bars, restaurants and shops which play “musak”; if they don’t like it, go somewhere else; remember you have a choice.
  6. Keep your mobile phone on vibrate and your PC speakers on mute.
  7. Try to avoid having the phone ring; try using text messages instead [5].
  8. Avoid noisy household appliances like hair dryers, food processors, lawn mowers and leaf blowers.
  9. Try to find quiet household appliances.
  10. If you have hearing aids and want more quiet, take your hearing aids out; it isn’t rude if it is looking after your mental well-being.
  11. Spend time away from the city; go somewhere you can listen to the birds or the sea.
  12. Plan for some quiet time every day.
References

[1] Noise Pollution, Depression, … and Nature As Our Guide
[2] Seven Ways Noise Affects Your Health
[3] Decibel Hell: The Effects of Living in a Noisy World
[4] What Did You Say?! How Noise Pollution Is Harming You
[5] Depression: On Noise, Answering the Telephone and Making Decisions
[6] The ubiquity of the modern beep