A Brief Note on Sexuality

Over on Substack there’s an interesting piece on sexuality from Walking Mermaid:

My Relationship With Sexuality, Freedom, and Being Myself

It’s a long, and rather repetitive, read but worthwhile if only to see how it is possible to approach sexuality and personal freedom despite the constraints of society’s expectations.

A few quick extracts to give the flavour …

… I would want the world to be naked … like, clothes should be optional, but largely people should just be comfortable being naked and just be naked everywhere.

… open conversations about sex are incredibly important. We treat discussions about desire, fantasy, and intimacy as if they are dangerous or inappropriate, yet these experiences are among the most universal aspects of being human … talking about sex should be as ordinary as talking about food, art, or travel. Not because sex is trivial, but because it is normal.

… many of the fears and judgments surrounding sexuality come from silence. The more openly and respectfully we talk about these subjects, the easier it becomes for people to understand themselves and others without shame.

We do not limit our capacity to love friends, family members, or children, so why do we assume there is only one acceptable way to experience romantic love? For me, the foundation of any relationship is trust and transparency. Secrets create shame. Openness creates freedom.

… sexuality is a part of your whole being … And to me, sex is a form of connection rather than, I’m horny tonight, so let’s have penetrative intercourse.

When I see a naked body, I do not immediately see something sexual. I see humanity. I see vulnerability. I see life. That perspective has influenced my work, my photography, and my willingness to be seen authentically. Some of my favourite creative projects have involved exploring the body not as an object, but as an honest expression of self.

I see in this an extension of what one of my university friends (a straightforward, thoughtful, heterosexual guy – not an early-1970s hippie/weirdo) believed: that sex could be just an expression of sincere friendship, like a good hug. It didn’t have to have deeper connotations.

As regular readers will know, I’m very liberal and open-minded – the result of a somewhat bohemian upbringing and being a student in the late-1960s/early-1970s – so all of this reflects very much both how I feel intellectually and how I act. Although sadly, in practical terms, I think my brain has never quite caught up. But it’s still trying, even at 75. Life is nothing if we don’t keep questioning and trying to make progress.

But how do we get the rest of humanity to start thinking so openly?

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