Green woodpecker on our west London lawn; I guess he was enjoying the ants which seem to abound in our garden.
Not wonderful photos as I was having to use my biggest lens at an awkward angle from the open study window in dreadful November light and having to push the ISO rating to get anything I could handhold. This probably the best from at least 150 shots taken over a period of 20 minutes.
A few more from this series on my Flickr Photostream.
Last night we had a little celebration. Only a little celebration over a bottle of wine followed by an early-ish night. For why? Because Noreen had hunted back through her old diaries (who has the time and discipline for these things? I never did) and discovered that we first properly went out together on 24 November 1978. I said I thought it was earlier, like late October, but she insists on the veracity of her pretty comprehensive journal from those days. So I figured I’d say “thank you” and not argue.
There are other such mini-celebrations coming up: the first time we had sex, 15 or 16 December; engagement on 30 December (well that was when Noreen dropped the bombshell on her mother anyway); Noreen moved in with me the following May; and we married in September 1979.
If you think that’s all a bit quick, well we had known each other for at least 3 years. We both knew, but didn’t tell the other, how we felt for each other. And then we almost lost contact after a disagreement when we both thought we’d screwed up and lost the other. But somehow we managed to stay in contact; just. Then unexpectedly Noreen asked me to her birthday bash in early October 1978. The rest, as they say, is history!
But hey, I realised properly last night that it is just as good as it always was. We’ve had our ups and downs – who doesn’t?! The first 2-3 years were hard – we fought; I was depressed; we had a crummy rented flat. When we bought the house in mid-1981 mortgage rates were very high – people today think they have it hard, we started our mortgage paying 14.5% interest, and after 6 months it was up to 17.5%!! That hurt. Many couples would I’m sure have thrown in the towel. But we stuck it out; somehow. And it’s got better; we don’t fight any more; we discuss, compromise and agree a way forward. By diligence we managed to pay off the mortgage seven years early. And we still have great sex; it’s different now from the early days but it is still great.
How have we done it? We don’t really know; we ask each other this question fairly regularly. But there are a number of key factors: a shared sense of humour; shared interests but also our own separate interests; doing things together but also separately; but perhaps most importantly we talk – all the time! And like all good relationships it is multi-faceted varying between friend-friend, parent-child, adult-adult, child-child, lover-lover. Even when, say, lover-lover is missing (as it will be sometimes) many of the others are there and keep things ticking along. Where relationships hit the buffers seems to be when many of the roles are missing and they degenerate into child-child, parent-child or enemy-enemy. (I’ve written more about this on the Theory of Relationships page of my Zen Mischief website.)
If we could make another 30 years we’ll both be getting on for 90. And who’s to say we can’t? Onward and upward! Here’s to many more happy years together.
1. Cat’s eye, 2. Jaguar im Manu Nationalpark in Peru, 3. Steve-O, Which Channel is CNN ?, 4. Eeyore, 5. Not Afraid, 6. Alice Liddell and the Cheshire Cat, 7. Aquarium, 8. Sporting Lucas Terrier – Wandle Peter, 9. Morgana a fada!, 10. Animal skeleton, 11. Little Black Cat, 12. Small Fish from the Amazon
Questions and Answers:
1. What is your favorite animal? Domestic cats
2. Laws have changed, you now can own an exotic or wild animal as a pet. What animal would you own? Jaguar, they’re just slightly more manageable than tigers
3. Some people are cat fanciers and some are canine cuddlers. Which is is for you cats or dogs? Cats, every time; no question; cats are magic
4. What one word best describes your personality? What animal do you associate with that word? Depressive, so it has to be Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh tho’ I’d much rather be Tigger
5. Confess! What animal/insect/reptile/amphibian are you secretly (or not so secretly) afraid of? I don’t do “afraid”; I’m certainly in awe of the big cats; and I hate maggots; but I’m not afraid of anything
6. What was your favorite animal character from a children’s book when you were younger? Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland; I never did work out how to do that gradual disappearing trick. 🙁
7. You’re spending the day at the Zoo, it’s getting close to closing and you’re tired, but you’re definitely not leaving until you see the . . . Aquarium. Hah! Caught you! You thought I was going to say the big cats, but I’ve already seen them. 🙂
8. What kind of pet did you have when you were a kid or do you remember a particularly unusual pet you had? When I was 7 we got a small dog, a Lucas Terrier; but there were always cats at home too.
9. If you were to be reincarnated as an animal, what would you want to be? Why? Domestic cat with me to look after me
10. Animals in films always seem to tug at our heartstrings. What cinematic animal was your hero or a favorite? No animal hero or favourite ‘cos I don’t do films; I never did; it isn’t in my culture
11. If you had a stuffed animal as a child, what was it (extra points if you remember its name)? Little Black Cat and yes here he is, the original, snapshotted (can I say that?) specially for this occasion!
12. National Geographic has hired you to go on a photo shoot anywhere in the world you choose. What animal would you want to showcase in your full-color magazine spread (and where are you traveling to)? Fishes of the River Amazon and while we’re there we’ll have a few jaguars and parrots for good measure
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
This week’s self-portrait: 52 Weeks 35/52 (2008 week 43).
Just to add a little to this summer’s weekend here’s a miniature purple Petunia growing in a trough on our patio.
Something beautiful for a grey rainy English summer’s day.
At the beginning of June Noreen and I had two weeks holiday (well time off work anyway). For a variety of reasons, not least that we couldn’t get anyone to feed the cats, not even our local cattery, we didn’t go away. As always we intended to have lots of days out but due to basic knackeration and idleness we failed. So here is what I did done on my holidays …
Such is the stuff of doing nothing.
Something else from our garden. This is Rosa gallica, the Apothecary’s Rose of ancient times. It grows madly in all directions wherever we plant it; apparently it likes clay soil, which being in London is what we have.
Something to brighten up what’s been a dull day (at least here in London). This is a recent addition to our patio garden.
