Category Archives: memes

amusements, memes, thoughts, topographical

Zen Mischievous Moments #138

For the Brits amongst us …

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then while travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

  • Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
  • Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
  • Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls – and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call – from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place!
  • Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION…

  • 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
  • 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
  • 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
  • 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
  • British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Christmas cracker pulling accidents.
  • 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
  • A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
  • 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally …

  • In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Are you proud to be British?

[With thanks to Sue Frye]

medical, memes, personal, photography, science, thoughts

Pondering (Thirteen Things) in the Rain


Pondering in the Rain, originally uploaded by kcm76.

This week’s self-portrait: 52 Weeks 5/52, 2008 week 13.

As I took this standing outside the doctor’s this morning I thought we might have 13 medical things to go with it (mainly for the Flickr “Thirteen Things” group …

  1. I’ve never yet broken a bone in my body.
  2. I’ve had all the usual childhood illnesses except mumps.
  3. I’m short sighted and have worn glasses since my mid-teens.
  4. I have type 2 diabetes.
  5. I had my appendix out when I was 28.
  6. I had glandular fever when I was 32, and had 3 months of a nice hot summer off work.
  7. I suffer from hayfever; and with me the allergy really is to some species of grass pollen.
  8. I have obstructive sleep apnoea; this means I have to wear a mask at night with gentle air pressure pumped into it to keep my airway from collapsing.
  9. I was born with a deformed nail on my right index finger; everyone who noticed it assumed that I had damaged it in an accident. I finally had the nail permanently removed after I did rip it off by accident.
  10. When I was a kid of 6 or 7 I would have a week off school every term with a high fever (nothing else, just the fever). No-one knew why, but our old family doctor eventually suggested my parents take me off sugar; so no sweets for years, but no fever either. I still don’t know why it worked or what the underlying cause was.
  11. I’ve lost count of the number of crowns I have; it’s at least six. But none caused by an accident; all due to teeth falling apart.
  12. I’ve had a cartilage operation on both knees (at different times) and my knees still give me pain. But then apparently I also have the beginnings of arthritis in my knees; not surprising as my father had severely arthritic knees.
  13. I suffer from depression; Churchill’s “black dog”. It’s worse in winter as I am slightly afflicted with SAD as well.
memes, personal, photography, thoughts

Scruffy Triptych


Scruffy Triptych, originally uploaded by kcm76.

Here’s this week’s self-portrait. I was mucking about and decided to try something different: this is a composite of 4 frames taken under identical conditions — well I had only to swivel my chair! I’m not sure if it works, but it’s different.

memes, photography, pleasures, thoughts

Thinking

1 Comment


Thinking, originally uploaded by kcm76.

Apologies for the long silence here; I’ve had a very hectic 3 weeks: a week’s holiday in Germany (pictures here with many more to come; I’m still working my way through the 1000 shots I took!), a business trip to the enticements of Manchester, a really filthy headcold and mountains of work. But with luck normal service will be resumed RSN.

I actually took a day off work today, and apart from a doctor’s appointment, I’ve done almost nothing. The most creative enterprise of the day is this self-portrait. It really is about all I’ve got to show for the day!

I have Monday off as well, so if the weather is good I might take myself off on a photographic trip somewhere. If I can get myself out of the sloth of lying in bed that is. 🙂

amusements, beliefs, memes, personal, photography, thoughts

Self-Portrait of a Foot with Thirteen Things


Self-Portrait of a Foot, originally uploaded by kcm76.

One of the groups I belong to on Flickr is called “Thirteen Things”. The idea is to post a self-portrait with a list of thirteen things about oneself. This photo and list are my first contribution, posted a couple of days ago.

Amazing the things one thinks to do when getting bored in an hotel room!

As this is my foot I thought I’d use this for my first “Thirteen Things” list. So here are 13 Personal Things About Me …

  1. I’m an only child
  2. I’ve changed a lot over the years; even my boss says I’ve mellowed! I used to be very angry and lose my temper a lot, I’ve learnt to let things wash over me and go with the flow; tho’ I do still get irritated and frustrated and swear a lot.
  3. I love the smell of grapefruit, coconut oil, bacon cooking, fresh bread, the sea, wood smoke, frying garlic & onions.
  4. I hardly ever drink coffee.
  5. I lost 20Kg between summer 2007 and New Year 2008, but i’m still obese.
  6. I was born with a deformed right index finger-nail; I’ve now had it permanently removed.
  7. I have a third nipple.
  8. My parents didn’t have me circumcised, for which I am very grateful.
  9. I wasn’t baptised as an infant. I took the plunge myself at 22 (eeek, that’s 35 years ago!) when I joined the Roman Catholic church. I’ve since converted to atheism.
  10. I’ve worn glasses since I was 14; it doesn’t bother me and I can’t imagine switching to contact lenses.
  11. I have never driven a car or a motorbike.
  12. I’m actually boring, shy and introverted, although many people find this hard to believe.
  13. I have type 2 diabetes.
beliefs, memes

Christmas Five

1. What is your fave thing about Christmas?
The anticipation; the excuse to do absolutely nothing quite shamelessly; the time off work.

2. Did you believe in Santa Claus? If so, what was the best gift from him?
Nope, I don’t think I ever did. But I did get an electric train set from him one year.

3. Do you have a Christmas Tree? Ribbon, Angel, Star or ______ on Top?
Yes, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a tree. And it has a star on the top.

4. Best stocking stuffer you got?
My wife. We got engaged just before Christmas and then had to spend Christmas itself keeping quiet about it until we had the right opportunity at New Year to tell our respective parents.

5. Wishing for a White Christmas?
Of course. In over 50 years I’ve never seen a white Christmas. Lots of snow on Boxing Day, and a couple of days before Christmas, and lots of frost on Christmas Day, but never snow on Christmas Day.

[Brought to you courtesy of Friday Five.]