Category Archives: current affairs

Green Custard **

Some of the week’s odder headlines (with commentary) …

Khat spread
as opposed to anchovy spread, one assumes!?

Sweaty armpits
this week’s new expletive

Barclays in Treasury debt talks
good that someone’s paying off our national debt

Pope rejects African condom use
you’d have a problem fitting one on the Horn of Africa anyway

Can eating Chinese staples ward off breast cancer
what’s wrong with the staples from my desk draw?

Construction faces migrant curbs
dangerous these migrating curb stones

France chastises Pope on condoms
new SM fetish – being whipped while lying on a pile of condoms?

Pink elephant is caught on camera
mustn’t be racist and have nothing but white elephants

Papal embrace
well that’s a new name for it!

NZ plane birth charges
but do planes reproduce sexually or asexually?

** These posts are named in honour of His Imperial Sliminess Peter, Lord Mandelson as originally blogged here.

Getting to Know All about You Meme


Getting to Know All about You Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.

This week’s Flickr meme is about getting to know you.

These photos are not mine . . . please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.

As usual here are the questions and my answers:

1. Who would you most like to meet? Dalai Lama
2. Who would you most like to have dinner with? Dinner is such a restrictive idea, but I would like to meet the Genie who dispenses health wealth and happiness
3. Who would you refuse to meet? The pure evil known as Robert Mugabe
4. What are you best at? Organisation, administration and procrastination
5. What are you worst at? Anything that requires fewer than 20 left thumbs; I’m hopeless at anything practical — after 3 years of woodwork at school I still can’t saw a piece of wood straight
6. What is your favourite poem? “Macavity: The Mystery Cat”; TS Eliot
7. What was the first record you bought for yourself? “Albatross”; Fleetwood Mac
8. What is your motto? Zen Mischief
9. What’s the biggest/best compliment you’ve ever been paid? What’s a compliment? I don’t think I get them. I just do the job right the first time.
10. Who did you hit? Me? No-one. I have an alibi.
11. What is your worst phobia? Not having money
12. What insect do you dislike most? Maggots

1. Dalai Lama_Geelong_6_ 10.jpg, 2. Genie In A Bottle, 3. Mugabe, 4. Overcoming Procrastination Motivational Mind Map Poster, 5. the freak of the rubber duck world, 6. Macavity the Proud, 7. Royal Albatross, Southern Ocean, 8. Zen Kitty, 9. The Original Version., 10. Who Me, I am Innocant, 11. Old diesel train, 12. Maggot Art

Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.

This Week's Oddities …

Some of the odder headlines I’ve seen this week (mostly perpetrated by the BBC) …

Green custard thrown at Mandelson
the mind boggles
Arrest in Mandelson custard probe
and the mind boggles even more
TV magician Ali Bongo dies
nah, you’re ‘avin a giraffe!
Modular Windows plan welcomed
yeah, it’s called double-glazing these days
Swiss blackmail gigolo jailed
but why would the Swiss be blackmailing a gigolo to start with?
Moyes unhappy with Wembley semi
well they’re good enough for the rest of us …
Twitter made me lunch
well at least it’s good for something!
Sea rise to exceed projections
we have a logic problem!?
Indian police enrol rat recruits to fight mice army
sounds more Irish than Indian to me
Deep water fish decline concerns
so deep water fish are fed up with the nanny state too!
Conference on Vikings at Cambridge University
I didn’t know CU was that old

A Modern Day Maudie?

On Wednesday this week there was this wonderful picture (below right) of the delightful “not quite Essex girl”* Mrs Beckham in The Times (just see the close-up of those feet!) .

One was struck by the uncanny resemblance to Osbert Lancaster’s rather more upper class heroine, Maudie Littlehampton, seen (above left) in a characteristic 1966 pose.

** Mrs David Beckham, née Victoria Adams (aka Posh Spice) is described in Wikipedia as “an English singer, dancer, fashion designer, author, businesswoman, actress and model” – whoever wrote that surely had their tongue firmly in their cheek, didn’t they?! She actually comes from Goff’s Oak, a area of my home town, and just a couple or three miles on the Hertfordshire side of the Herts-Essex border.

Hat-tip: Noreen of Norn’s Notebook

Depositing the Bankers?

There’s an interesting piece in yesterday’s Times by Sir Ken McDonald, QC, the recently retired DPP. In it he takes the West’s (and especially Britain’s) politicians and legislators to task for getting the balance of the criminal justice system wrong, viz:

[…] If you mug someone in the street and you are caught, the chances are that you will go to prison. In recent years mugging someone out of their savings or their pension would probably earn you a yacht […] too many people and too many institutions function as though they are beyond the reach of the criminal law.

In Britain we had an additional burden: legislators who preferred criminal justice to be an auction of fake toughness […] So no one likes terrorists? Let’s bring in lots of terror laws, the tougher the better. Let’s lock up nasty people longer, and for longer before they are charged. Let’s stop medieval clerics winding up the tabloids. Let’s stop off-colour comedians outraging homophobic preachers. Let’s pretend that outlawing offensiveness makes the world less offensive.

This frequently made useful headlines. But it didn’t make our country or any other country a better or safer place to live. It didn’t respect our way of life. It brought us the War on Terror and it didn’t make it any easier for us to progress into the future with comfort and security.

Our legislators faltered because they seemed to ignore the fact that what makes good politics doesn’t always make good policy. And they didn’t want to tackle the more complex issues that really affect safety in people’s lives. It was easier to throw increasingly illiberal sound bites at a shadowy and fearsome enemy.

In Britain, no one has any confidence that fraud in the banks will be prosecuted as crime. But it is absolutely critical to public confidence that it should be […] Do people believe this will happen? No, they don’t […]

Forget the paranoiac paraphernalia of national databases, identity cards and all the other liberty-sapping addictions of the Home Office. Forget the rhetoric and do something useful. If the Government really wants to protect people beyond armoured-vest posturing, here is the opportunity […]

Let’s have fewer terrorism acts, fewer laws attacking our right to speak frankly and freely. Let’s stop filling our prisons with junkies, inadequates and the mentally damaged. How apposite in 2009 to have, instead, a few more laws to confront the clever people who have done their best to steal our economy.

Hat-tip: Bystander at The Magistrate’s Blog

A Sorry Mess or a Public Scandal?

Like many others, for example Wat Tyler over at Burning Our Money, the writer of the Leader in yesterday’s Times is deeply unimpressed with the ongoing soap opera that is the sorry mess we call a banking system. Specifically yesterday’s Leader Writer is railing against the debacle which is the Lloyds TSB “takeover” of HBOS. These two quotes are quite telling:

Instead of steadying the financial system, the merger has further undermined it.

The episode shows a lack of foresight, competence and financial understanding; at such vast expense for the taxpayer, it is also and increasingly a public scandal.

It grieves me to be right but “I told you so!”, to the extent that as Lloyds TSB shareholders we both voted against the merger and declined to indulge in the recent Lloyds TSB share issue (at a price which was above the market rate at the time of the offer).

Sad, bitter and twisted because I’ve seen my investment go down the tubes? No, actually. We bought a small number TSB shares when it was privatised 20 years or so ago (since transmogrified into Lloyds TSB shares when these two banks merged) and we have since recouped our initial investment several times over in dividend payments. And the current share price is around what it was when we bought those shares – although that is less than 10% of its peak price. Our investment is small and luckily we can afford to lose it: never gamble with more than you can afford to lose! So no, I’m not bitter. Just annoyed at the incompetence and unprofessionalism of it all.

Politicians Out of Their Minds on Drugs

There’s a thoughtful editorial in this week’s issue of New Scientist. As so often I give you an edited version …

Drugs drive politicians out of their minds

Imagine you are seated at a table with two bowls in front of you. One contains peanuts, the other tablets of the illegal recreational drug MDMA (ecstasy). A stranger joins you, and you have to decide whether to give them a peanut or a pill. Which is safest?

You should give them ecstasy, of course. A much larger percentage of people suffer a fatal acute reaction to peanuts than to MDMA.

This, of course, is only a thought experiment […] But it puts the risks associated with ecstasy in context with others we take for granted. Yes, ecstasy is dangerous and people who take it are putting their lives on the line. But the danger needs to be put in perspective.

Sadly, perspective is something that is generally lacking in the […] debate over illegal drugs […] drug policy should be made on the basis of evidence of harmfulness – to individuals and to society. The British government’s stated line is similar, yet time and again it ignores its own rules and the recommendations of its experts. Most other western governments act in a similar way.

The latest example of doublethink concerns MDMA. […] the UK government’s Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs […] recommend downgrading it, based on evidence of its limited harmfulness […] Yet the government has already rejected the advice.

No doubt this is partly a reaction to the furore over the […] decriminalisation of cannabis in 2004 […] Despite the fact that the move actually reduced the quantity of cannabis being smoked – surely a welcome outcome […]

[…] David Nutt, found himself in hot water last weekend for comparing the harm caused by ecstasy to the harm caused by horse riding […] [his] intention was simply to put ecstasy in context with other sources of harm. But his comments […] caused predictable squeals of outrage […]

This is a worldwide problem. We need a rational debate about the true damage caused by illegal drugs – which pales into insignificance compared with the havoc wreaked by legal drugs such as alcohol and tobacco. Until then, we have no chance of developing a rational drug policy.

I don’t pretend to know the answer to any of this. But I would echo the sentiments of the editor of New Scientist in pleading for rational and logical debate and thinking which puts all the arguments and risks into a reasoned perspective.

Hills are Alive with the Sound of Ants

There was an incredible article in The Times last Friday (6 February) … Scientists have discovered that ants talk to each other, and they now have miniaturised technology to such an extent that they can listen in. You can find the whole article online here; what follows is a very condensed version:

Advances in audio technology have enabled scientists to discover that ants routinely talk to each other in their nests. Most ants have a natural washboard and plectrum built into their abdomens that they can rub together to communicate using sound. Using miniaturised microphones and speakers that can be inserted unobtrusively into nests, researchers established that the queens can issue instructions to their workers.

The astonished researchers, who managed to make the first recordings of queen ants “speaking”, also discovered that other insects can mimic the ants to make them slaves. Research several decades ago had shown that ants were able to make alarm calls using sounds, but only now has it been shown that their vocabulary may be much bigger and that they can “talk” to each other. Improvements in technology had made the discoveries possible because it meant the ants could be recorded and subjected to playbacks without becoming alarmed.

By placing miniature speakers into the nest and playing back sounds made by a queen, the researchers were able to persuade ants to stand to attention […] It remained unclear how much the ants relied on sound for language but he suspected that further analysis would reveal a wider vocabulary than had been seen yet.

The most important discovery is that within the ant colony different sounds can provoke different reactions […] It’s within the power of the ant to play different tunes by changing the rhythm with which they rub […] The detection of the role of sounds provided the “final piece of the jigsaw” to explain how [some species of butterfly] caterpillars survive in ants’ nests and should help to guide conservationists in trying to save the endangered European mountain species.

[The] new work shows that the role of sound in information exchange within ant colonies has been greatly underestimated.

Zen Mischievous Moments #148

The following from New Scientist dated 07/02/2009 …

Danger: airborne turtles

BLAMING Canada geese for forcing a US Airways jet to ditch in the Hudson river seems logical. They’re big enough to cause serious damage to any plane that hits them, and thousands have settled around New York City. Sure enough, when we checked the Federal Aviation Administration’s National Wildlife Strike Database at www.planestrikes.notlong.com, Canada geese were high on the list, with 1266 reports of them hitting aircraft between 1990 and 2008, 103 of which were in New York State.

With all three New York City airports close to the ocean, gulls also seemed likely suspects and, yes, over the same period, 1208 gull strikes were reported in New York, out of a total of 9843 gulls that collided with planes across the US. Further scrutiny of the list revealed that other collision victims include 145 bald eagles and 15 black-capped chickadees. An endangered whooping crane was hit in Wisconsin. We began to think that nothing that flies is safe. Then we spotted an entry for turtles.

One can imagine circumstances in which turtles could become airborne, although not of the turtle’s volition. It would, however, seem quite hard to hit a plane with a tossed turtle. Yet 80 turtles suffered this fate, including 23 in New York State. The turtles weren’t alone. Armadillos are, if anything, even less aerodynamic than turtles, yet planes struck 14 of them in Florida, two in Louisiana and one in Oklahoma, although Texas armadillos successfully avoided aircraft. In addition, 13 American alligators hit planes in Florida.

We can report that our mental picture of airborne armadillos, alligators and turtles did not survive long. We were forced to conclude that although the FAA doesn’t specify it, these animals had their collisions with aircraft on the ground, presumably during take-off and landing. It was interesting to note, though, that some terrestrial species seem much better at dodging planes than others. No one reported hitting wolves, bears, sheep or goats, but the toll included 811 deer, 310 coyotes, 146 skunks, 146 foxes, 33 domestic dogs, 18 domestic cats, eight cattle, six moose, five horses, two river otters, and a single unfortunate pig.

Philosophy of Drugs

Interesting little piece by philosopher AC Grayling on the prohibition of drugs in today’s Times. He largely echos my long-standing views on the subject except that he fails to mention that by legalising and controlling all drugs (in the way alcohol and tobacco are) the government would not only save money but could make money as the drugs could be taxed. At a time when government is in desperate need of cash I’m surprised this is a wheeze they’ve missed.