Category Archives: current affairs

amusements, arts, current affairs, environment, quotes, sexuality

You couldn’t make it up …

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More amusing snippets from recent online BBC News items. If you wrote most of these in a nvel you would be accused of being unreasonably inventive.

11 June
Gabonese have turned out to see the body of the late President Omar Bongo arrive back home from Spain, where he died on Monday (8 June).

11 June
The Rubble Club has been set up to help architects through the “trauma” of seeing one of their creations demolished in their own lifetime.

11 June
A man with a fetish for Ugg boots has admitted using the internet to harass a group of schoolgirls.

11 June
Acer chairman JT Wang strenuously denied any suggestion Acer was copying someone else’s invention. “We are not copying,” he said in an interview at … “Innovation is improving on a competitor’s product. That is still innovation for consumers’ value.”

12 June
A burned-out ice-cream van is among 100 works Banksy has installed at Bristol’s museum. “This is the first show I’ve ever done where taxpayers’ money is being used to hang my pictures up rather than scrape them off … many people will say: ‘You should have gone to Specsavers'”, Banksy added.

14 June
As I went closer, I realised with delight that while they had got the tune off pat, the words were just slightly off the mark. Standing tall and proud, the children were calling on the Almighty to “sieve the Queen and her setter, Victoria.” … A French friend of mine, preparing a few snacks to hand round at an English drinks party, implored her guests to help themselves to nipples.

18 June
“Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.”

current affairs, environment

Air Travel

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There are two items on the BBC News website today about the airline industry which caught my eye.

In the first it is being claimed that the British taxpayer will end up paying the £9bn cost of Heathrow’s third runway because of the “precarious” state of BAA (Heathrow’s owners) finances. Labour MP John McDonnell, whose Hayes and Harlington constituency includes the airport, is quoted as saying

We now believe there will be direct subsidy as a result of BAA’s precarious financial position and the precarious financial position of Grupo Ferrovial globally (BAA’s parent company) and that we will have to actually subsidise the development itself, the construction of the runway and the terminal.

And a junior Transport Minister is also quoted as saying

It [Runway 3] is absolutely vital in terms of our international gateway, vital to our economy, connecting us to growth markets of the future, that has not changed.

Wrong! The third runway is neither necessary nor affordable. It is not necessary because air transport has to contract and become more efficient, if only because of global warming even if there were no world-wide recession.

It is not affordable because the scale of national debt in this country is now absolutely staggering; so staggering in fact that almost whatever any incoming government, of whatever political persuasion, might do we (the taxpayers) are going to be paying off that debt for decades to come. According to Burning Our Money our national debt is now so high it is almost £25,000 for every man, woman and child in the country. What that means is that if every penny of Income Tax we pay were used to pay off that debt it would take at least 5 years just to pay off the principal, never mind the interest. Or expressed another way: average UK house prices are around £225,000, which means you would need roughly 1 person in 5 to sell their house and donate the whole proceeds to the government to pay off the national debt.

How can we afford to build Heathrow’s third runway under such economic conditions? We can’t.

The fact that this really isn’t affordable is further highlighted by the second item that caught my attention. British Airways (BA, not to be confused with BAA) is “asking” its 30,000 staff to work for up to one month unpaid in an attempt to save its financial skin: BA reported a loss of £401m last year. Now my understanding is that any company which cannot afford to pay its creditors is bankrupt; and an employee is essentially a creditor — they provide something (labour) to the company, under contract, in return for money. I have said for a long time that any airline which tells you it is making a profit is either doing so by non-airline business (selling off property, say) or is indulging in creative accountancy. I fail to see how air travel can be viable at the current fares. And let’s remember, BA is not a budget airline; it cannot afford to be; it has an absolutely vast organisation which it cannot afford –as the results show — even with its current inflated fare structure.

So we are going to build a third runway at Heathrow, which we cannot afford, to prop up a global airline industry which is bankrupt and is now predicted to shrink at around 2.5% this year (rather than show the previously expected 5% rise).

Now tell me again why we need Heathrow Runway 3?

current affairs, history, personal

Seriously Wow!

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What a fantastic day! The first day of our week off and we’ve had a seriously memorable day.

We started boringly early this morning with a trip to the dentist. Both of us. For a check-up and a hygienist appointment each. Nothing except a clean for Noreen and one small filling done on the spot for me.

Back home at 10 and a short time to relax before getting dressed up for the afternoon: “Morning dress or lounge suit. Ladies are requested to wear hats.” it says.

OMG. But I don’t do dressing up. Does my suit still fit? Well I can just get into this one.

“What are you going to?”
“This is Ascot week.”
“But Ascot starts tomorrow.”

We have been given tickets (invited if you will) to attend the Service of the Most Noble Order of the Garter in St George’s Chapel, Windsor which is of course a royal, nay a Court, occasion.

“How?”

Well we just happen to know one of the Heralds of Arms, purely socially; he also happens to be Secretary to the Order of the Garter and thus responsible for organising this occasion. Thus it was about 3 weeks ago Patric popped his head over the parapet and said

“I omitted to ask whether you and Noreen could manage the Garter Service this year?”

(He had offered us tickets a couple of years ago and we couldn’t get free from work). I assumed he meant outside to see the procession through Windsor Castle, but no this was to attend the service in the Chapel. Wow! Thank you! Yes, please! We’ll be delighted; honoured; etc.

Our friend Tom offered to drive us the 15 or so miles out to Windsor. We got him a ticket to see the procession.

So off we traipse just before 12.30. Tom had to be in position before 2; we would be admitted to the Chapel at 2, no later than 2.30. We parked in Windsor Great Park just after 1. A long, leisurely, walk up to the Castle. Which gate? That gate. No you’ll have to go to that gate. No not here you need to be at the other (first) gate! Not really surprising with several gates, at least two types of ticket in six different colours; and thousands of security peeps.

It was hot. Need chocolate before blood sugar crashes. Hunt chocolate. Find nice man who keeps chocolate in the fridge. Go to (first) gate (again). Security checks – show passport three times as well as ticket! It’s blazing hot. Finally admitted to Chapel: cooler; a bit. Then the fun begins …

In march:

the state trumpeters (Household Cavalry);


a posse of Yeoman Warders, complete with ruffs, pikes, halberds and swords; followed by

a posse of the Honourable Corps of Gentlemen at Arms – aged military retainers with white feather plumes in their shining tin hats. The choristers;

the heralds (in their playing card tabards);

the Knights of the Garter; the Royal Knights;

officers of the Order; retinue; and …

THE QUEEN.

A blare of trumpets.

Wow we don’t half do this pageantry stuff well, we English. We are in the nave in row 3, just 15 feet from HM – but with a big, burly, prop forward of a Yeoman Warder in the way!

Settle down now children and we’ll have a nice ordinary church service. A couple of hymns (good hymns in comfortable keys for all to sing, and they did), responses, prayers, a lesson etc. The usual stuff.

45 minutes later the procession traipses out again in reverse order. Another blare of trumpets for HM.

Back outside it is still baking; the black clouds roll past. And we get to see some of the procession ride back up the hill in carriages. A few, the older ones, in cars. Some even walk! The military march off. Two squadrons of Blues & Royals and Life Guards in full ceremonials including spurs. The full band of the Household Cavalry covered in gold frogging (see trumpeters, above). A detachment of Foot Guards.

We eventually meet up with Tom. We are all seriously hot and thirsty, so adjourn to the nearest pub for a couple of pints. Followed by a nice walk back to the car. And home for tea and cake.

What a fantastic day. I never thought I would ever get invited to such a royal occasion. And I certainly never thought I would be just 12-15 feet from the Queen. Absolutely brilliant. And it didn’t rain!

[No cameras permitted in the Chapel, so all the pictures are from the web, mostly from Wikimedia Commons.]

amusements, current affairs

You couldn't make it up …

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Quotes from today’s news which amused me …

Conservative leader David Cameron on Gordon Brown: He can’t seem to reshuffle his cabinet but they can’t seem to organise a coup.

Conservative MEP Daniel Hannan: If Labour MPs put their terror of the electorate above any considerations of patriotism or democracy, they will do irreparable damage […] to representative democracy. This is your last chance, comrades.

Labour backbencher Jon Cruddas: Everyone’s walking away and taking their bat home with them.

And finally …

Former Home Secretary David Blunkett is recovering after being injured by a charging cow in Derbyshire.

Really you couldn’t make it up!

current affairs, medical, science, words

Pandemic

Following on from my post of yesterday, it seems that WHO really are bowing to political pressure and redefining pandemic to take account of virulence as well as geographical spread. As an academic, Vincent Racaniello, author of the Virology Blog, is typically scathing:

WHO redefining pandemic is absurd. Pandemic is an epidemiological definition that has nothing to do with virulence […] Although pandemic is most frequently associated with influenza virus, other infectious agents may cause worldwide epidemics […] WHO should leave textbook writing to others. To paraphrase Andre Lwoff, a pandemic is a pandemic. The word implies nothing about virulence – and has little to do with politics.

As a fully paid-up pedant (and erstwhile academic) I entirely agree.

current affairs, medical, quotes, science

Pandemic or Not?

Revere over at Effect Measure, has been writing a lot recently about the so-calle “Swine Flu” outbreak; not suprising as the editors are public health practitioners. A post the other day caught my eye; it explored when is a pandemic not a pandemic. Basically Revere explores the position with the current Influenza A/H1N1 outbreak and touches on some of the posturing going on by governments, WHO etc. to avoid declaring this a pandemic.

Yes, all very well; this is what we would surely expect of politicians. What struck me though was this wonderful paragraph:

The argument boils down to this. We shouldn’t call a pandemic a pandemic, because people might misunderstand that this means it’s a pandemic. And then they would do things like panic, like UK officials are doing now when the prospect is broached we are having a pandemic. And since even the considerable wiggle room of the current definition of a pandemic is insufficient to avoid calling this one a pandemic, please provide us with some more wiggle room by adding severity to the mix, so we can then argue about whether the pandemic is severe enough to be a pandemic.

The original post isn’t technical and it isn’t long but it does highlight the way in which governments etc. use as much (and more) wriggle room as is available in their own interests. Politics was ever thus!

current affairs, medical, science

Mexican Swine 'Flu Hysteria

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Simon Jenkins is right on the money. Writing in last Wednesday’s Guardian he lays into all the doomsayers jumping on the “swine ‘flu” bandwagon. Just the headline says it all:

Swine flu? A panic stoked in order to posture and spend
Despite the hysteria, the risk to Britons’ health is tiny – but that news won’t sell papers or drugs, or justify the WHO’s budget

As that suggests Jenkins is highly critical of governments; medics and scientists (who, let’s face it, advise governments and have careers to nurture); the WHO; and the pharmaceutical manufacturers (who have big profits to make). He starts with a full-on rapier thrust at government:

Appropriately panicked, on Monday ministers plunged into their Cobra bunker beneath Whitehall to prepare for the worst. Had Tony Blair been about they would have worn germ warfare suits. British government is barking mad.

But he also says:

We appear to have lost all ability to judge risk. The cause may lie in the national curriculum, the decline of “news” or the rise of blogs and concomitant, unmediated hysteria, but people seem helpless in navigating the gulf that separates public information from their daily round. They cannot set a statistic in context. They cannot relate bad news from Mexico to the risk that inevitably surrounds their lives.

And then even more tellingly …

Meanwhile a real pestilence, MRSA and C difficile, was taking hold in hospitals. It was suppressed by the medical profession because it appeared that they themselves might be to blame. These diseases have played a role in thousands of deaths

[…]

MRSA and C difficile are not like swine flu, an opportunity for public figures to scare and posture and spend money. They are diseases for which the government is to blame.

It seems to me the real diseases underlying all this appear to be vested interests and public hysteria.

You can read Simon Jenkins’s full article here.

amusements, current affairs

Green Custard

Some recent odd headlines (mostly from BBC News); with commentary:

Charm offensive
Yes, I agree, charm is offensive

Spray for ‘six times longer’ sex
Ooo eeerr; advent of the 1 metre prick!?!?!

Bottle killing youth sent to jail
Can’t have vicious bottles on the loose; lock ‘em up!

Veteran osprey lays Easter egg
Now I’ve heard of chocolate teapots, but ….

DOWNING ST AIDE RESIGNS
Who’s St Aide? Must be one of those obscure Irish saints

Thieving dwarves cause supernovae
Ah, dwarves in space; new comedy series?

Spam produces 17m tons of CO2
Didn’t know you could still buy Spam

Stephen Hawking
Yes but what’s he hawking?

amusements, current affairs

Green Custard

Some of this week’s stranger headlines (mostly from BBC News); with commentary:

Advice to Vultures: Avoid Spanish Livestock
Why only vultures?

Color-Coordinated Courtship
I’ll only like you if your pink bra looks good with my pink jock-strap

Agreement reached in tram talks
Didn’t know trams could talk?

Armenia row
It’s a turning off Acacia Avenue, Neasden isn’t it?

Plea for clean coal investment
Yeah, it needs therapy to make it’s mind wholesome

Deadly stampede at Pope speech
One assumes they were trying to escape?

Call for clearer green labelling
If the labelling is more transparent won’t it be harder to read?

Dead girl given truancy warning
Wewl, logic innit, she weren’t at skool!

Therapists offer gay treatment
And the next act will be the Singing Postman

God will not give happy ending
So why bother with him then?