Category Archives: amusements

amusements, memes

Alphabet Meme

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Let’s start my very own meme and see if it has any genetic fitness. Here’s what you do:

  • Write the opening sentences of a story using predominantly the words of the NATO phonetic alphabet*.
  • Post it on your weblog/website with a copy of these instructions and a link back to this site.
  • Optionally leave a comment to this post with a forward link to your offering.
  • Tag three others (more if you like) by leaving a comment on their weblog.

OK so here’s my offering:

It was November; the season when X-rays echo through the sierra. Returning from the Delta of Kilo, Romeo and Juliet met alpha male Papa Zulu for whisky in the Quebec Bravo Hotel only to find Oscar’s Yankee uniform unsuitable for their foxtrots and tangos. Meanwhile at Lima, Charlie and Mike were planning golf in India with Victor …

Not hugely inspired; I’m sure you can all do better!

Oh and (‘cos I think your zany humour will enjoy doing this) I tag: Jilly at jillysheep, Kelly at Kellypuffs – Not Just for Breakfast Anymore and Tina at Momentary lapses of insanity… – oh and to encourage her to blog more I’ll include the spousal unit, Noreen at Norn’s Notebook.

* Just in case you don’t know it off by heart the NATO Phonetic Alphabet is: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whisky, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu.

amusements, current affairs, history, sexuality

Department of Government Sniggering

According to an item earlier this week in The Register, the Office of Government Commerce (OGC) – that’s the bit of the Treasury “responsible for improving value for money by driving up standards and capability in procurement” – has been indulging in a little “Strategy Boutique Newspeak” and rebranding itself. Complete with a new logo which has allegedly cost half a salary. One small problem though: the logo has now been banned. Result: all the supporting mousemats and other office paraphernalia which were produced have been spirited away, no doubt to soon appear on eBay. I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to work out why our Nanny Government was upset by it.

[fx: exits sniggering]

Hat tip to Nanny Know Best.

amusements, memes, thoughts, topographical

Zen Mischievous Moments #138

For the Brits amongst us …

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then while travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

  • Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
  • Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
  • Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls – and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call – from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place!
  • Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION…

  • 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
  • 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
  • 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
  • 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
  • British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Christmas cracker pulling accidents.
  • 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
  • A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
  • 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally …

  • In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Are you proud to be British?

[With thanks to Sue Frye]

amusements, personal, photography, pleasures, topographical

Watch Our Backs, Mate


Watch Our Backs, Mate, originally uploaded by kcm76.

I’m still working through the photographs I took on holiday in German a few weeks ago. I’ve put the latest few online on Flickr. Some of the shots are pretty grainy (like this one) as they were taken in absolutely appalling light — in the case of this shot it was very grey and overcast and getting on towards dusk. Lots more to come which I intend to put up about 8-10 at a time over the next few weeks — and I’m keeping the best of the steam train shots ’til last (probably). I still have some 30% of the shots to look at in detail.

amusements, current affairs, thoughts

Camel Cavalry

This wonderful picture appeared in today’s Times, in their “Image of the Day” series.

It is captioned “Members of India’s Border Security Force rehearse … for the Republic Day parade in Delhi on Saturday”. This is the sort of pomp and fancy dress which only the British, and the Raj, do so brilliantly.

amusements, beliefs, memes, personal, photography, thoughts

Self-Portrait of a Foot with Thirteen Things


Self-Portrait of a Foot, originally uploaded by kcm76.

One of the groups I belong to on Flickr is called “Thirteen Things”. The idea is to post a self-portrait with a list of thirteen things about oneself. This photo and list are my first contribution, posted a couple of days ago.

Amazing the things one thinks to do when getting bored in an hotel room!

As this is my foot I thought I’d use this for my first “Thirteen Things” list. So here are 13 Personal Things About Me …

  1. I’m an only child
  2. I’ve changed a lot over the years; even my boss says I’ve mellowed! I used to be very angry and lose my temper a lot, I’ve learnt to let things wash over me and go with the flow; tho’ I do still get irritated and frustrated and swear a lot.
  3. I love the smell of grapefruit, coconut oil, bacon cooking, fresh bread, the sea, wood smoke, frying garlic & onions.
  4. I hardly ever drink coffee.
  5. I lost 20Kg between summer 2007 and New Year 2008, but i’m still obese.
  6. I was born with a deformed right index finger-nail; I’ve now had it permanently removed.
  7. I have a third nipple.
  8. My parents didn’t have me circumcised, for which I am very grateful.
  9. I wasn’t baptised as an infant. I took the plunge myself at 22 (eeek, that’s 35 years ago!) when I joined the Roman Catholic church. I’ve since converted to atheism.
  10. I’ve worn glasses since I was 14; it doesn’t bother me and I can’t imagine switching to contact lenses.
  11. I have never driven a car or a motorbike.
  12. I’m actually boring, shy and introverted, although many people find this hard to believe.
  13. I have type 2 diabetes.