In Iron Age England, it was believed that the cock served as a defence against thunderstorms; that is why cocks are still to be found on church steeples. They became known as weathercocks.
[Peter Acroyd, The History of England, Volume 1: Foundation]
Category Archives: amusements
Just Too Good Not To …
I just came across this on Facebook. It’s just too good not to share …
Cartoon of the Week
No Sense of the Ridiculous
Three snippets from the “Feedback” column of this week’s New Scientist. Some people really do have no sense of the ridiculous.
“Generations of medical students and doctors have been taught to tell their patients to ‘never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear’,” Michael Glanfield, himself a doctor, assures us. The Asda supermarket chain has clearly taken this advice to heart. The warning on its own brand “D” battery, which has a diameter of 3.3 centimetres, states “…if swallowed or lodged in the ear or nose seek prompt medical attention”.
Geoffrey Hardman is grateful to transportdirect.info for warning him: “Certain combinations of outward and return journeys would result in you needing to leave your destination before arriving at it”.
“By now you will have noticed that the sole purpose of our exotic expeditions is to gather gems for Feedback,” says regular contributor Jenny Narraway. Her latest is the multilingual wording on a waste bin seen on a walking holiday in the Azores. It said: “Lixo Indiferenciado” for Portuguese speakers, “Poubelle Indiferencie” for French speakers and, for the English, “Undistinguished trash”.
Why is the waste bin on a walking holiday, one wonders?
Sublimely Ridiculous
This week’s selection of things which attracted my attention and which you may have missed …
Can the human body combust spontaneously? Most of us think not, unless you’re an Irish Coroner.
Fake degree? Check. Fake Rolex? Check. Fake girlfriend? What? You want fake girlfriend? OK, then see here and here.
Bored with your current home? Fancy your own Lord of the Rings film set? Then build your own Hobbit home. Must admit it looks comfy, but where’s the bathroom?
Now you’ve mastered being an architect here’s just the thing for your design studio … Use your Amazon Kindle as an Etch-a-Sketch. Sadly available only in the US.
And finally the big news of the week: Wasabi fire alarm scoops Ig Nobel prize! Yes, it’s that time of year when the Ig Nobel awards are announced. If you’ve missed out on them before they are serious scientific prizes which honour achievements that “first make people laugh, and then make them think”. Full reports here and here.
Enjoy your weekend!
Fact of the Week : Kissing
Two-thirds of us tilt our heads to the right when we kiss, and it’s not correlated with handedness.
[Reported in, inter alia, Sheril Kirshenbaum, The Science of Kissing]
Cartoon of the Week
Listography : Celebrity Beer
I’ve not taken part in Kate’s weekly Listography for the last couple of weeks largely because I’ve struggled to be motivated by the themes. Well that’s life. But I thought that I should try to make an effort again this week. And as often that’s proven to be harder than I expected as Kate is asking us to nominate five celebrities we would like to go for a beer with.
Surely that can’t be difficult? Well yes, because first one has to decide what “celebrity” means. The mind goes to TV persons, footballers, WAGS, pop singers and actors. Well if that’s what it means count me out because almost to a woman (are only of them actually men?) they bore me rigid — if I’ve even noticed them to start with. And then there is the question as to whether they have to be alive, or if dead celebrities count?
Therefore I decided that “celebrity” was whatever I wanted it to mean and I could include anyone I liked as long as they had a public persona and were alive. So here are five, who at the final reckoning may or may not be the top five. Who knows?
Alice Roberts. I’ve mentioned Alice any number of times before here because she’s just all-round brilliant: qualified medic, teaches anatomy, anthropologist, archaeologist, author, broadcaster and an excellent artist. I also think she’s hot! One of the people I would love to sit in the pub with and just talk the evening away.
Professor Mick Aston. The original lead archaeologist with the stripy jumpers on Channel 4’s Time Team. He’s another who I would love to just be able to chat with over beer, partly because I imagine a fascinating conversation but also because of his interest in the development of English churches and monasticism.
Dalai Lama. Another old friend of these lists — and not just because I am more attracted to Buddhism (albeit Zen) than any other philosophy. How can one not want to talk with one of the world’s most important spiritual leaders. But not just that, he seems to have a slightly wicked sense of humour!
Tony Benn. Yes, the British Labour Party politician, former Cabinet Minister and campaigner, now well into his eighties. I’d want to have a drink with him not for his politics (I disagree with much, but not all, of what he believes in) but because he is such a respected parliamentarian and constitutional historian with great insight into the workings of both history and state.
And now it is awful to say it but I get a bit stumped for my fifth nomination. There are so many people one could choose: Astronomer Patrick Moore, chefs Brian Turner and Rick Stein, BBC Weather Presenter Laura Tobin (a cheeky little pixie if ever I saw one!), authors Terry Pratchett and AN Wilson, historian Simon Schama, comedian Rory Bremner … But I think for my final choice I’ll pick …
Dick Strawbridge. Yes, him of the giant moustache. He’s another broadcaster, engineer, ecologist, ex-army Colonel and an absolute all-round nutter! I first noticed him presenting the BBC series “Crafty Tricks of War” in which he built — and usually blew up — all manner of nefarious military devices.
Well now, that’s a strange set of bedfellows if ever there was one. But in tell you what, I bet they’d all get on well together over some beer, after all in their own ways they’re all completely out to lunch on a variety of ancient bicycles!
Where does it all come from?
Our local auction houses seem to have had a quiet time recently, presumably because of summer holidays, but one has a bumper sale coming up this week. It contains the usual curiously described and strangely juxtaposed tat amongst a selection of rather nice (if boring) old silverware, fish knives etc. Here’s a selection that caught my eye. As so often the sting is in the tail with many of these.
Two portraits of young women, said to be Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice-Davies, each bearing signature Stephen Ward and dated (19)62, framed as a pair.
[Framed as a pair they were indeed!]
A silver ‘toy’ cherub on a bench, another by an incomplete easel, another playing patience at a separate table, London import marks … and an indistinctly marked cherub on a pig.
A collection of Golliwog china.
[Thought you weren’t supposed to say Golliwog these days?]
An impressive pair of Indian part-silver anklets, hinged and with pin fastening, each chased with a lion amongst foliage. circa 1900
[Duh?]
Six early bike and street lamps.
A Pedigree doll with opening eyes
[I hope it’s registered with the Kennel Club]
A quantity of early vales.
[¿Que?]
A varied and interesting lot to include 1960′s wallpaper sample books, sewing items including wool, thread, buttons, buckles, embroidery items, fabric, ladies’ clothes, bags, umbrellas, purses, cane, etc.
[The contents of the back of someone’s wardrobe?]
A wooden double stoned doll’s house with metal windows and ’tiled’ roof …
[One spliff not enough, eh?]
Miscellaneous small items including three green glass eye baths and one blue example, brassware, ceramics, etc., and a Billy Bunter book.
A lion mask bras doorknocker.
[Brings a whole new concept to the meaning of “knockers”]
A stuffed pheasant and a similar owl.
[You know you always wanted one!]
A pair of ibex horns on a wooden mound.
[Just to complete the medieval great hall]
An interesting lot including a quantity of university graduation robes with makers’ names, including Ryder & Amies, Cambridge (red and black); also a carton of related objects including sashes, ermine trimmed capes, mortar boards, velvet berets, etc.
[Bought your degree? Complete the set with some cast-off robes]
And no, I really don’t make these up!
Characters Wot I Invented
We probably all do it. I certainly do. Invent fictional (and often humorous) characters that is. Characters we’d like to have inhabit our stories. So here’s a challenge … Tell us five of your fictional and humorous characters (and if possible a little about them). Here are some of mine.
Ii Ng. He’s a young Japanese fashion designer.
Armin Plaastar. Young Dutch Ski Instructor. He was never quite good enough to compete in the top downhill races as he specialises in skiing on shallow slopes.
Berrick Salome. Top drawer antiques dealer somewhere in the Home Counties, probably Berkshire or Buckinghamshire.
Sir Chiltern Waternut. Retired diplomat. Specialist in Arab affairs. Always wears a tweed jacket and pince-nez.
Gaysha Bottle. 6-year-old, East End, trainee tart. Sister of Chardonnay-Madonna Bottle (age 10).
Of course there are lots more possibilities and even categories: companies, places, popular music combos, products and even books.
So, without giving away the plot of your next novel, how about you tell us a few of yours? In fact let’s make this a meme so I can tag: Katy, Noreen, Jilly, Antonia, Tim.