amusements, food+drink, memes, personal, photography, thoughts

Listography – Products

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Slightly late with this week’s Listography entry, as proposed by Kate Takes 5. This week it’s all about products — specifically those top five products you couldn’t live without.

So in the interests of not frightening the horses natives, here’s my sensible list:

Laptop or PC. I don’t mind if I have a laptop or a desktop PC; I’m happy using either; both have advantages and disadvantages. But I’m a fish out of water without instant access to the intertubes and all my documentation.

Bed. I need my sleep. I need oil tanker loads of beauty sleep and even then it doesn’t do any good. Bed for me is a haven; not just somewhere to sleep but somewhere to relax, read, think and even on occasions watch TV. Yes, we still live very much in student mode, even 40 years after the event!

Camera. I always carry a camera. You never know what you’re going to see. Mostly it’s dull, but very occasionally it isn’t. And I like photographing people and the odd things that go on around me; especially people. Even at home my camera sits to hand on my desk.

Beer. Well we’d better have something to sustain us. I don’t drink a lot of beer these days; I’ve switched mostly to wine in the interests of trying (and failing) to lose weight and control the diabetes. But I love beer and couldn’t do without the occasional fix. And anyway, what else does one really want to drink with curry?

Glasses. As in spectacles. I’m as blind as a bat without my glasses, which I’ve worn since I was about 14. They are such a part of me that I don’t know I’m wearing them, so I’ve never even bothered to think much about having lenses — and not too much point now as I’d still need reading glasses. I like my varifocals; unlike many people I’ve never had problem with them.

So there you are. What are your top five things you couldn’t do without.

amusements, books

Pure Silliness

My brain has gone on strike. I cannot get it into the right gear to write anything even remotely resembling thoughts. See it can’t even write proper English!

So instead I decided I’d share with you a really very stupid, silly, not to say crap, piece of dogrel verse I penned a couple of years ago, when work was especially horrid.

Sisyphus Rolls His Jelly
 
The mountains of treacle
Grow up to the skies;
The mouldings of jelly
Grow big in pigsties;
But my toothpicks, my toothpicks
Stay tiny and slight,
No wonder my job
It is stressful and shite.

See I told you it was a pile of old tripe.

Now I’d better let my brain have a a lie down.

natural history, quotes, thoughts, topographical

Quotes of the Week

A rather more eclectic mix than usual this week. I just love some of the names in this first quote …


Transport on Water: Barge Driving Race – Saturday 18 June 2011
Race Start 1200
A number of Thames barges will be raced, under oars, from Greenwich to Westminster Bridge on Saturday 18th June 2011. The race will start at Greenwich at 1200 from 3 start lines for the different classes of barge, off Greenwich Pier, off Trafalgar Tavern (lower end of Scrap Iron Park) and off Tunnel Glucose Wharf. Each start line will be marked by 2 pellet buoys, one on each side of the river.
[Port of London – River Thames, Notice to Mariners, M34 of 2011]

Scrap Iron Park indeed!

Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth.
[Horace]

I’m not a beatnik, I’m a Catholic.
[Jack Kerouac]

Which reminds me that in response to some god-botherer’s query “are you saved?” a friend once responded “Good God no, I’m a Roman Catholic”.

You kill ’em. We grill ’em.
[Bart Simpson, aka Matt Groening]

That sums up the feelings of last couple of days quite well!

To us, the moment 8:17 AM means something – something very important, if it happens to be the starting time of our daily train. To our ancestors, such an odd eccentric instant was without significance – did not even exist. In inventing the locomotive, Watt and Stevenson were part inventors of time.
[Aldous Huxley]

Time can’t be measured in days the way money is measured in pesos and centavos, because all pesos are equal, while every day, perhaps every hour, is different.
[Jorge Luis Borges]

Earth laughs in flowers.
[Ralph Waldo Emerson]

If so then our garden is rolling on the floor peeing it’s pants ‘cos we have an absolute riot of roses at the moment. Our large apricot-coloured climber Lady Hillingdon currently has more flowers than leaves – it really is just one mass of flowers like never before.

amusements, current affairs

UK Government Announces New Regulators

Just in case you missed it, yesterday Rt Hon Dr Vince Cable MP, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills in the UK Government announced the new independent Statutory Regulators for a wide variety of industries. They are:

  • Office of the Gambling Industry Regulator, to be known as Offchance
  • Office for the Regulation of Comedians and Entertainers, Offcolour
  • Office for the Regulation of Hair Stylists, Offcut
  • Office for the Regulation of Sex Workers, Offhand
  • Office for the Regulation of Meteorologists, Office
  • Office of the Home Working Regulator, Offhome
  • Office of the Regulator of Private Security Firms, Offpeek
  • Office of the Regulator of Sales and Marketing, Offsales
  • Office for the Information Technology Regulator, Offit
  • Office for the Regulation of Musicians, Offkey
  • Office of the Association Football (Soccer) Regulator, Offside
  • Office for the Regulation of Child Minders, Offspring
  • Office of the Regulator of Stately Homes, Offhouse
  • Office of the Regulator of UK Plc, Offuk

[Re-listed courtesy of the London Gazette]

memes, personal, photography

[19/52] 2.05 PM


[19/52] 2.05 PM, originally uploaded by kcm76.

Week 19 entry for 52 weeks challenge.

As you’ll see if you work out the angles, this was taken from the passenger seat the other day. I wanted to capture the combination of camera, wing-mirror, a bit of self-portrait, the traffic behind us and the traffic beside us at the lights.

amusements, memes, thoughts

Listography

3 Comments

For some amusement I thought I’d delve into the weekly Listography from Kate Takes 5. So here are my five contributions for this week’s theme: Bad Combinations.

Pubic Hair + Wax
Well really any hair and wax, or sticking plasters. Just say no. Ouch!!!!

Knife + Finger
Yes I had a knife and finger incident a few days ago and successfully removed the tip of my little finger.

Chilli + Genitals
Actually, again, chilli plus any sensitive tissues – nose, eyes, etc. But chilli and naughty bits is great fun – NOT!

Shorts + Shoes and Socks
What is it about middle-aged British men that as soon as the summer sun appears they wear shorts but with their normal shoes and socks? Shorts with dark calf-length socks and brogues looks decidedly naff.

Meat + Sugar
Meat with anything sweet is to me horrible. Whoever thought of eating meat with jam?! I’m OK with meat and fruit, it’s the sugar that inevitably goes with it I detest.

Anyone else going to contribute ideas?

amusements, sexuality

Sex up Your Pub Quiz Knowledge

Just in time for your next pub quiz night I came across this curious list of odd sexual facts. Amongst the gems are:

80% of men living in the USA have been circumcised.
Which I find at best sad but not surprising.

During sexual intercourse, in addition to the genitals and breasts, the inner nose also swells.
Weird! But why?

A teaspoon of semen contains approximately 5 calories.
So it ain’t going to do too much damage to your diet!

During an average man’s lifetime, he will ejaculate approximately 17 litres of semen.
Good grief, that’s almost two buckets! Although at an average 5ml a pop it is only one ejaculation a week between the ages of 16 and 81. Are you really getting enough?! Especially knowing that …

It’s possible to relieve depression through masturbation.
Now that sounds like the best excuse ever for a bit of Onanism!

All taken from www.lustability.com/facts.php

beliefs, nudism, thoughts

Me No Understand

This morning saw both of us off to see our doctor for our (all too frequent) check-ups.

While waiting there were two African Muslim ladies (say in their 30s) sitting to my right. Both were wearing coloured but sombre floor-length dresses/robes. The one nearer me was also wearing a loose headscarf and rather nice but sensible shoes and socks. The one further from me had a headscarf which was tight about her face. However on her feet she had nothing but a pair of flip-flips.

How can it be unseemly to display one’s head but perfectly OK to have nude feet?

Me no understand.