Category Archives: thoughts

Quote: Universe

It is clear that there is no classification of the Universe that is not arbitrary and full of conjectures. The reason for this is very simple: we do not know what kind of thing the universe is.

[Borges, in Essay, “The Analytical Language of John Wilkins”]

My 2010

I decided to do this survey I found to summarise my engagement (or lack of it) with 2010. If it works I may do it again in a year’s time.

1. What did you do that you’d never done before?
Retire
Be hypnotised

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make New Year resolutions (see here); but I did have some goals most of which I failed to achieve

3. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
More sex
£1M

4. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?
Sunday 14 February
Saturday 5 June
Friday 27 August

5. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No more than normal: the usual couple of vile colds etc.

6. What was the best thing you bought?
New digital SLR camera

7. Where did most of your money go?
Fuck knows, and he ain’t telling me

8. What did you get really, really excited about?
Nothing; I waste effort on excitement or panic

9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a. happier or sadder?
Definitely happier and less depressed, at least at the moment
b. thinner or fatter? Fatter
c. richer or poorer? Poorer

10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Photography
Cooking
Swimming
Seeing friends

11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating
Wasting time

12. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Moving my mother into a good care home
Retirement
Starting hypnotherapy

13. What was your biggest failure?
Putting weight back on when I’d been slowly losing it

14. How many one-night stands?
None

15. What was your favourite TV program?
I watch so little TV I really haven’t got a clue

16. What was the best book you read?
Brad Warner; Sex, Sin and Zen
Ben Goldacre; Bad Science

17. What did you want and get?
New digital SLR camera
Amazon Kindle

18. What did you want and not get?
New bathroom
£1M

19. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
£1M – it won’t solve all the problems but it won’t half help you cope with them

20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Nude when possible, clothed when necessary

21. What kept you sane?
Noreen
Hypnotherapy

22. Who did you miss?
Surprisingly some former colleagues

23. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Life happens, deal with it

24. A quote or song lyric that sums up your year:

Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organised. [Terry Pratchett]

No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. [unknown]

Mr Spock … We’re trapped in an eerie, brain numbing madhouse! Any answers? [unknown]

25. Your hopes for 2011
– Successful Anthony Powell conference in September
– Catch up with the backlog of Anthony Powell Society work
– Achieve financial security for life (well I can dream!)
– More sex
– Less depression
– Lose weight
– Be a better husband
– Society normalises sex and nudity rather than being disgusted/frightened by it

The Smart Dutch Take on Teen Sex

A while ago I came across this article in the 7 September 2010 issue of Salon.

The smart Dutch take on teen sex
Despite parents’ allowing romantic sleepovers, the Netherlands has one of the lowest youth pregnancy rates
by Tracy Clark-Flory

I’m not going to reproduce it here as it’s available online. The article also references this study by Amy Schalet. I commend you all to go read both for yourselves. Amazingly Clark-Flory (an American) actually recognises that the Dutch have their attitudes to teen sex right and the Americans don’t. Which is what I’ve been saying for years. Society, especially politicians and the religious please note!

Quotes of the Week

I’ve been reading quite a bit over Christmas, so this week there’s a good selection of quotes; something for almost everyone here …

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
[Paul Harvey]

If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
[The Economist; unknown author and date]

You can’t prove that there isn’t a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs but, it seems pretty unlikely, doesn’t it?
[Kurt Hummel]

A bird is an instrument working according to mathematical law, which instrument it is in the capacity of man to reproduce with all its movements but not with as much strength, though it is deficient only in power of maintaining equilibrium.
[Leonardo da Vinci, The Flight of Birds, 1505]

Newton saw an apple fall and deduced Gravitation. You and I might have seen millions of apples fall and only deduced pig-feeding.
[Admiral of the Fleet Lord Fisher; Letter to the Times, 12 January 1920]

All dog-lovers must be interested in Lieutenant-Commander Elwell-Sutton’s account of his white whippet which insists on singing to the accompaniment of his (or, may I hope, his young son’s?) accordion – presumably one of those gigantic new instruments, invented, I think, in Italy, which make noises as loud as those made by cinema organs, and rather like them. This dog’s taste is low; but a musical ear is a musical ear.
[Sir John Squire; letter to the Times, 11 January 1936]

They [18th and early 19th century Quakers] became a bourgeois coterie of bankers, brewers and cocoa-grocers.
[Mr Ben Vincent, letter to the Times, 13 March 1974]

[The correct] forking technique is called the Continental method. It’s the method used in Europe as well as anywhere else that the British have killed the locals.
[Scott Adams]

Alice: Would you please tell me which way I ought to walk from here?
Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where –
Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you walk.
Alice: – so long as I get somewhere.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if you only walk long enough.

[Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland]

New Year Resolutions – NOT

Like a number of other people I know, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. They are, by and large, setting ourselves up to fail. We pick as resolutions things we’re determined to do, but maybe don’t really want to do, like stopping smoking or exercising more. Consequently, although we try, we don’t stick the course. We fail and then beat ourselves up for failing. Only to go through the whole cycle again next year with the same resolutions! All New Year resolutions are is self-fulfilling fails just waiting to mug our psyche.

I’ve never liked being tied down by immoveable objectives (to me that ceases to be an objective and becomes an irrevocable order, something to be achieved “or else”). And I don’t intend to start now I’ve managed to slough of the spectre of work. I’m basically someone who drifts with the tide; I managed it through my working life and have escaped with (most of) my sanity intact and a life outside work. Yes I probably could have done better for myself, but at what cost to my sanity and work-life balance? That wasn’t what I wanted so drifting suited me just fine.

So in recent years I have tried to set myself some goals to achieve over the year. And no, a goal is not a resolution! Resolution = I am determined to do this come what may. Goal = a target to be aimed for; success is a bull’s eye; but you still get points for hitting an outer blue or black ring, for some small progress.

Last year I set myself a number of goals. And I scored really badly, though I did pick a few points. This was partly because my goals didn’t end up aligning with the things which turned out to happen during the year and which I couldn’t have foreseen. Yes, I’m disappointed, but no I’m not beating myself up about it (well not much anyway).

So for 2011 I’m setting myself a new set of goals. And no, not the ones I didn’t achieve in 2010; many of them are not now relevant to where I need to be going. And no, I’m not about to tell you what they are. I may or may not achieve these goals, but every one is attainable if somewhat challenging and I shall give them a good shot. As long as they remain relevant. And that’s the key. Goals = targets to be aimed at which are achievable, relevant and allow for progress short of 100% success. So many New Year’s resolutions become “must do”, are unreasonably hard to achieve, and too often become irrelevant to where life takes us.  Flexibility is more important than single-minded determination; partial success is more important than total failure.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

On Democracy

WARNING: this has turned into a post of epic proportions!

One of the things which marks out the western world from the rest is our democracy, much of which (excepting many European countries) is based on the British model. This predominance of the British model arises because (a) we were probably the first country to develop such an all-encompassing democracy and (b) because of the huge influence of the British Empire. This has meant that many countries which have been under the influence of British democracy have been able to establish their own democracies largely fully formed just by taking the book of rules off the shelf.

However it seems to me that it is often assumed our (British) democracy emerged fully formed overnight – although no-one can quite say when that was, although many will point to the Commonwealth of Oliver Cromwell. Cromwell isn’t actually such a bad guess, although a gross over-simplification. British (and, may one thus suggest, world) democracy has evolved over a period of approaching 800 years. Like all evolution it is a rocky road with progress and reverses along the way. This evolution is something I had long believed but which I had never fully crystallised in my mind, so I set about developing a time-line to prove my case. Here it is:

1215. Magna Carta. The nobles force King John to sign Magna Carta which creates the English Parliament and the notion that the king may not levy or collect taxes without the consent of the royal council (embryonic parliament).
1216. Death of King John; accession of the infant Henry III. Leading nobles governed on behalf of Henry III thus ensuring Magna Carta is enshrined.
1258. Henry III forced to accept Provisions of Oxford thus abolishing the absolutist Anglo-Norman monarchy and giving power to a council of 15 barons overseen by a thrice-yearly parliament.
1264. Barons, led by Simon de Montfort, defeat Henry III at Battle of Lewes. Simon de Montfort summons the first English Parliament with no royal authority. As well as the barons, bishops etc. there were two knights from each shire and two burgesses from each borough, the latter mostly elected according to some locally devised process.
1265. First elected parliament meets. Simon de Montfort introduces the idea that power-holders are responsible to an electorate.
1295. Edward I adopts Simon de Montfort’s ideas about parliament in the Model Parliament.
1341. Commons meets separately from the nobility & clergy for the first time, thus creating the Upper and Lower Chambers.
1376. The Good Parliament. Presiding Officer (Sir Peter de la Mare) demanded accounting of royal expenditure and criticises the king’s management of the military and the heavy taxation. The Commons impeaches some of the king’s ministers.
1430. Franchise is limited to Forty Shilling Freeholders.
1485. Accession of Henry VII who is no longer a member of either house of parliament.
1536-41. Dissolution of the Monasteries under Henry VIII reduces the number of Lords Spiritual by the removal of Abbots and Priors from the House of Lords. For the first time there are more Lords Temporal than Lords Spiritual.
1544. Upper Chamber becomes known as the House of Lords, and the Lower Chamber the House of Commons; collectively the Houses of Parliament.
1628. Petition of Rights stipulated that the king could no longer tax without Parliament’s consent. Charles I later dissolved Parliament and, believing in the divine right of kings, ruled without them for 11 years thus precipitating the Civil War.
1642-51. Civil War and the Levellers movement.
1649. Execution of Charles I
1649-60. Interregnum. House of Lords abolished. Oliver Cromwell, as Lord Protector, convenes several (mostly unicameral) parliaments. Cromwell gave much freedom to parliament (which is based on the Elizabethan model) but without the ruler’s influence being exerted; in consequence parliament became troublesome to the regime.
1653. Humble Petition and Advice. Parliament offers Cromwell the crown which he refuses. But the model of parliament contained in the Humble Petition is essentially that which still pertains: an elected House of Commons, the House of Lords containing peers of the realm and a constitutional monarchy subservient to parliament and assisted by a Privy Council. Cromwell thus inadvertently presided over the creation of the basis for the future parliamentary government of England.
1659. Rump Parliament dissolves itself and calls democratic elections which pave the way for the restoration of Charles II in May 1660.
1681. Charles II gambles by dissolving parliament and ruling without them for four years.
1688. James II deposed.
1689. Accession of William & Mary. Parliament approves the Bill of Rights, upholding the pre-eminence of parliament (plus freedom of speech and banning of cruel and unusual punishments) thus beginning the English constitutional monarchy.
1707. Act of Union merges English and Scottish Parliaments.
1801. Parliament of Ireland merged with that of Great Britain.
1832. Great Reform Act. Purges many of the Rotten Boroughs, reforms constituencies and considerably extends the (male only) franchise.
1867. Second Reform Act completes the purge of Rotten Boroughs, establishes constituencies of roughly equal numbers of electors and again extends the franchise.
1872. Ballot Act establishes the secret ballot.
1884. Third Reform Act doubles the size of the (still all male) electorate.
1918. Almost all men over 21, and women over 30 who met property owning qualifications, granted the right to vote.
1928. Representation of the People Act enfranchises all men and women over 21.
1970. Age of majority reduced to 18.

So what is the alternative to democracy?

Yes, that’s right, it is essentially a dictatorship, whether in the form of an absolute monarchy (for example Saudi Arabia, Tsarist Russia), a military dictatorship (for example Burma, North Korea), a political dictatorship (think China, Soviet Russia) or a civil dictatorship (eg. Libya, Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, Zimbabwe). These countries have no tradition of democracy; most wouldn’t know it if it hit them in the face. And yet we, the Western World, expect to go stomping into these countries, telling them to become democracies (well that’s what works for us, so we know best) and then wonder why (a) they aren’t overjoyed and (b) fail to make it work overnight – think Iraq and Afghanistan.

Yes, sure, there are other countries which are trying to get from dictatorship to democracy on their own, Russia being a case in point. It is hard (so kudos to them for trying) because the dictatorship mindset (however much disliked) is ingrained in not just all their administrative systems but also in the people. No wonder they find it hard, however strong their will, and flip-flop into and out of dictatorial tendencies.

As I say, the road to democracy is long, winding and rocky. It’s taken Britain almost 800 years. What makes the Western World think non-democratic countries can achieve democracy overnight? Should we not expect it to be a long-term project for them, taking maybe 20-50 years? Even assuming that is what they want!

Quotes of the Week

Here’s this week’s selection.

It is quite likely that one day all the food in the world will be Chinese. And so will all the people.
[Giles Coren]

Lesson one: you just have to try something on. You really do – to experience the intense charge between a woman and her clothes.
[Lisa Armstrong]

What really tells you what you should be when you grow up is what you can’t NOT do.
[Emily Nagoski]

I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.
[Arthur Hays Sulzberger]

I’m not promiscuous. I just really like women.
[Julian Assange]

And I leave you with euphemism of the week:

“worrying fiscal dynamics” = we’re spending too much

Happy Christmas everyone!

Hope on, Hope Ever

Reading Redlegs in Soho yesterday has reminded me that, although I’m not a fan of making resolutions, a few seasonal wishes for the coming year might be in order (just don’t invoice me until January, OK?). We can all wish for the big things, like world peace, and for our own selfish wants (a big lottery win), so we’ll skip those and concentrate on things to improve society or make life more interesting. So here’s my selection:

  1. Men stop wearing ties. I never did see the sense of voluntarily putting a noose round one’s neck.
  2. Someone blitzes all the slummy London suburbs (so that’s all of them then!) giving us each our own underground cabin and using the land to grow organic fruit, vegetables and woodland.
  3. The 2012 Olympics are cancelled (or at least moved out of London).
  4. People realise that infertility treatment is aberrant and potentially dangerous.
  5. There’s a revival of ’70s pop music.
  6. There’s also a revival of Latin Tridentine mass. (No, I know I’m not a believer, but Latin Tridentine is a magical spell.)
  7. The works of Anthony Powell become appreciated and fashionable – and they’re added to the Eng. Lit syllabus.
  8. People finally learn to think, and they start doing it for themselves – thus making their own properly constructed moral codes without the need for religion.
  9. Political parties are banned and all MPs, councillors, etc. have to be independents.
  10. There is a general improvement in body awareness along with an acceptance of nudity and sexuality as being a normal part of life. Public nudity becomes acceptable. Sex and nudity need to be normalised and not seen as aberrant.
  11. We have a return to the era of the heterogeneous High Street shopping experience, with a concomitant decline in the dominance of supermarkets, megastores and on-line mega-malls.
  12. All empty office buildings (and any abandoned supermarkets, see above) are compulsorily converted into low cost housing, or demolished and converted to parkland or woodland.
  13. Reality TV, sitcoms and soaps hit the buffers. TV goes up-market.
  14. Prostitution and cannabis are legalised and regulated; they can then be taxed so we all benefit.
  15. Everybody’s pensions are doubled overnight.
  16. The railways and the utility companies are taken back into public ownership where they belong.
  17. There is a realisation that employers have to appoint the best person for the job and that positive discrimination is … just discrimination against a different set of people.
  18. The banks remember that what they are playing with is our money (not theirs) and they compensate us accordingly.
  19. And finally: health, wealth and happiness to all. For ever and ever. Amen.

So what would your list be?

Quotes of the Week

When I post these quotes it shouldn’t be assumed that they are new to me. Very often they are quotes I have know (even if only vaguely) for some while, but which I have stumbled across during the week and wished to (re) record. For instance the first two of this week’s selection have been useful on many occasions over the years.

Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony […] You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! […] I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would put me away!
[Monty Python and the Holy Grail]

Why do the nations so furiously rage together, and why do the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth rise up, and the rulers take counsel together.
[Psalms 2:1-2; Handel, Messiah]

If we could gather all the electric eels from all around the world, we would be able to light up an unimaginably large Christmas tree.
[Kazuhiko Minawa, Enoshima Aquarium, Japan; see

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live now.
[Joan Baez]