Category Archives: sexuality

freedom of speech, nudism, sexuality, thoughts

Aspects of Censorship

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What’s wrong with these two pictures?

That’s right. Nothing.

But they show male and female naughty bits! And to find the likes of them on the internet is increasingly difficult: one either has to steal them from the nether reaches of sites like Flickr or go to X-rated sites. Not even most stock photograph or medical sites carry wholesome photographs of real people in the nude. This is ridiculous. Indeed it is increasingly censorship by the back door.

Malcolm Boura, British Naturism‘s (BN) Research and Liaison Officer writes a useful short article in the latest edition of BN’s members’ magazine with a longer, more detailed briefing document on the BN website.

Here, in Malcom’s words, are some of the salient points from his article:

Until a couple of years ago, I was proud to live in a country which valued freedom of speech but then I started to dig below the surface … There are an enormous number of censors but most of them operate behind a veil of secrecy …

A worrying development in recent years is the exporting of American prejudices to us by corporations such as Facebook and Apple … why should a US businessman dictate what we are allowed to see? …

Films on television are frequently cut but have you ever known a broadcaster admit to it? … Usually, the censorship is to placate those who preserve the memory of the late Mary Whitehouse, not for any rational reason, so it suits them to keep quiet about it …

So what harm does it do? If a social worker tries to obtain child protection documents from the BN website, they will probably be stopped by the council’s web-filtering software. The message is clear – naturism is so dangerous that even adults must be protected from it.

That reinforces prejudice and that could be catastrophic for any naturist family with whom the social worker is working …

Censorship has been vastly more effective at preventing access to wholesome pictures of the body than it has in preventing access to pornography. Should pornography really be the main way by which children and young people find out what people look like? Even worse, should it be the main way they find out how people behave in a sexual relationship? …

Why is it that so many people just assume that nudity must be harmful to children? Why is it that politicians just assume that people will support moves towards greater prudery? … The excuse … is “Think of the children” but as happens far too often, nobody is bothering to actually think … It is just an appeal to assumed popular prejudice. I say ‘assumed’ because I doubt very much if it really is that popular.

If you’re interested in censorship, the extent to which its tentacles reach into daily life, how it affects society and ways in which the naturist movement may be affected, then I commend the Malcolm’s briefing document.

And if censorship reaches so far into the realms of nudity, body image, sexuality etc. you can be sure it is there in may other areas as well.

We need to remain ever on our guard and fight this creeping paralysis. It’s hard because much of the censorship is not formalised and is totally unaccountable. But to maintain a civilised society freedom of speech and human rights must be upheld. And to do that nudity and sexuality need to be normalised, not marginalised and criminalised.

beliefs, current affairs, freedom of speech, pleasures, quotes, science, sexuality, thoughts, topographical

Quotes of the Week

A good selection of amusements amongst this week’s quotes …

The future is already here – it’s just not very evenly distributed.
[William Gibson]

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
[Thomas Jefferson]

Society places a great deal of importance upon “being concerned” about this, that or the other terrible thing going on somewhere in the world. I agree that a bit of this concern is useful in helping alleviate suffering in those places. But it strikes me that the vast majority of what we call “being concerned” involves getting into our own heads, turning over the information, imagining whatever we want to imagine, working up our emotions, wallowing in our feelings like a pig in mud. For some reason I’ve never been able to comprehend very clearly this makes us look good socially, like we’re doing the right thing. But I’m unable to see how watching endless reports […] about a disaster really helps anything.
[Brad Warner at http://hardcorezen.blogspot.com/]

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
[George Mikes, How to be Decadent]

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
[Jeff Valdez]

Life is fragile. You and I are living lives just as precarious as those people who got swept away into the ocean last week. We just fool ourselves into believing otherwise. But that’s not a reason to live in fear. Life is a terminal disease.
[Brad Warner on the Sendai Earthquake at http://hardcorezen.blogspot.com/2011/03/japan-earthquake.html]

Every mountain; every rock on this planet; every living thing; every piece of you and me was forged in the furnaces of space.
[Prof. Brian Cox; Wonders of the Universe; BBC2 TV, 13 March 2011]

I hear the argument, and it is an ingenious argument only a lawyer of his brilliance could make …
[David Cameron replying in House of Commons to Sir Malcolm Rifkind]

Never play with a dead cat and above all never make friends with a monkey.
[Osbert Sitwell, quoting his father in Tales My Father Taught Me. Thanks to Katyboo for this one.]

The natural world is a living erotic museum filled with variations in male genitalia, illustrating how natural selection has paid nearly as much attention to the male member as Catholic priests have.
[http://zinjanthropus.wordpress.com/]

To you , I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the loyal opposition.
[Woody Allen]

“Are there circumstances in which the government might …?”
“Well there could be circumstances. To answer your question in any other way would preclude all possibilities.”
[William Hague, UK Foreign Secretary, answering a question from the Parliamentary Foreign Affairs Committee; 16/03/2011]

beliefs, medical, personal, quotes, science, sexuality

Quotes of the Week

Another weekly selection of esoterica …

Anyone who tells you that your body is anything other than the beautiful, glorious MIRACLE that it is is, as they say in “Princess Bride”, probably selling something.
[Emily Nagoski at ]

[E]ach of us has the job of finding the beliefs we’re not interested in carrying with us any more, uprooting them, and finding something new and healthier to take their place. This process is neither easy nor painless. But it is a path to the confidence and joy I advocate everyone bring to bed with them every night.
[Emily Nagoski at ]

Men always fall into the absurdity of endeavouring to develop the mind, to push it violently forward in this direction or in that. The mind should be receptive, a harp waiting to catch the winds, a pool ready to be ruffled, not a bustling busybody, for ever trotting about on the pavement looking for a new bun shop.
[Robert Hichens, The Green Carnation, 1894]

Sex ought to be a wholly satisfying link between two affectionate people from which they emerge unanxious, rewarded, and ready for more.
[Alex Comfort]

The debate [in 1907 American Medicine about the weight of the soul] went on from the May issue all the way through December, whereupon I lost the thread, my eye having strayed across the page to “A Few Points in the Ancient History of Medicine and Surgery,” by Harry H Grigg, MD. It is with thanks to Harry H Grigg that I can now hold forth at cocktail parties on the history of haemorrhoids, gonorrhoea, circumcision, and the speculum.
[Mary Roach; Stiff, The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers]

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
[Henry Miller]

A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.
[Victor Lownes]

We do not remember. A certain group of our little people do this for us. They live in that part of the brain which has become known as the ‘fold of Broca’ … There may be twelve or fifteen shifts that change about and are on duty at different times like men in a factory … Therefore it seems likely that remembering a thing is all a matter of getting in touch with the shift that was on duty when the recording was done.
[Thomas Edison; Diaries]

amusements, beliefs, pleasures, quotes, science, sexuality, thoughts

Quotes of the Week

This week’s selection of the good, the bad and the ugly …

Relationships are like a card game where you start with two hearts and a diamond, but end up needing a club and spade.
[Tony Green on Facebook]

Every concept the mind can create includes its opposite. No thought is ultimate because each idea depends on every other idea it might possibly contrast with for its apparent self existence. Our own existence as individuals is dependent upon all of creation. This does not negate our individual existence. It is an attempt to see our individual existence in a different light.
[Brad Warner at http://hardcorezen.blogspot.com]

When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her?
[Montaigne]

Urethane treatment is standard on all products (with exceptions)
[Amtico Flooring Brochure]

Comedians really aren’t that different from scientists. They look at the world and question why things are as they are and try to find an answer. It’s just that scientists do it with far more rigour and the possibility that humanity will be much improved by their discoveries. Perhaps comedians are just lazy scientists. Very, very lazy, stupid scientists.
[Robin Ince, The Times Eureka Supplement; March 2011]

And finally, dreadful joke of the week …

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
Because he was out standing in his field.
[The Times Eureka Supplement; March 2011]

Bring back Basil Brush, all is forgiven!

beliefs, quotes, sexuality, thoughts

Quotes of the Week

OK, guys & gals, here’s this week’s selection of wacky words …

Come on, Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul! It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.
[Bart Simpson]

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
[Philip K Dick]

Never let your sense of morals keep you from doing what’s right.
[Isaac Asimov]

I’ve come to believe quite strongly that monogamy is not at all the natural condition of human beings, despite what we’ve been told for so many years. For some people it comes effortlessly. For others it is absolutely impossible. I think for most of us it is possible, but extremely difficult. When I hear that someone has failed at it I am never shocked or surprised.
[Brad Warner; at http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/02/disrobing-genpo–brad-warner/]

Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It’s middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
[Sir John Mortimer, Murderers & Other Friends]

We will have to build … devices that will store and release time to where it is needed, because men cannot progress if they are carried like leaves on a stream. People need to be able to waste time, make time, lose time and buy time.
[Terry Pratchett; Thief Of Time]

Most people have some means of filling up the gap between perception and reality, and, after all, in those circumstances there are far worse things than gin.
[Terry Pratchett; Thief Of Time]

current affairs, medical, science, sexuality, thoughts

Pubic Hair Removal – Why?

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An interesting article in the Guardian on Friday (11 Feb) by Bidisha in which she asks why women are these days removing their pubic hair. Her contention is that it’s a fashion (almost certainly) and that it is generally a bad idea, psychologically, for both men and women. I’m not sure I entirely agree with this, but it’s an interesting argument:

Are women so ashamed of their bodies’ natural beauty, so unaccepting of things as they are that they will do anything at all, even if it’s degrading, to get some willy time? A man who withholds his attention and affection according to the follicle count of a lady’s crotch doesn’t deserve intimacy with a real-life woman. A man who likes a woman without pubic hair despises adult women so much that he wants us to resemble children […]

I worry about these men too […] They are now in danger of returning to a Victorian naivety. They may well believe that […] women naturally do not have any body hair. Upon seeing some real hair on a real woman for the first time they may well vomit or faint, or both […]

As for the women, don’t you have anything more interesting to do than dutifully coif your cassoulet?

You can find the full article here.

current affairs, food+drink, sexuality, thoughts

Love in a Dish

Yesterday’s Times reprinted an interesting essay written by one Mary Frances Kennedy Fisher under the title Love in a Dish. As the introductory blurb says: “Couples who delight in food will delight each other: it is as true now as it was when food writer MFK Fisher wrote this essay on cookery and intimacy in 1948”. Although the article is now deeply un-PC (and American) the essential sentiment is indeed still relevant today.

As the article is hidden behind a paywall (so I can’t link to it) here are a few key extracts.

Brillat-Savarin,who amused himself in his old age by writing The Physiology of Taste […] concerned himself mightily with the problem of married bliss. He wrote many paragraphs and pages on the importance of gastronomy in love, and told […] that happiness at table leads to happiness in bed.

A mutual enjoyment of the pleasures of the table […] has an enormous influence on the felicity that can and should be found in marriage. A couple […] who can share this enjoyment “have, at least once every day, a delightful reason for being together […] have an unfailing subject of conversation; they can talk not only of what they are eating, but also of what they have eaten before and will eat later, and of what they have noticed in other dining rooms, of fashionable new recipes and dishes, etc. […]

Brillat-Savarin felt […] that a man and woman who share any such basic need as the one for food will be eager to please and amuse each other in the satisfying of that need, and will do what they can to make the basically animal process enjoyable. “And the way in which mealtimes are passed […] is most important to what happiness we find in life.”

[…]

It seems incredible that normal human beings not only tolerate the average American restaurant food, but actually prefer it to eating at home. The only possible explanation for such deliberate mass-poisoning, a kind of suicide of the spirit as well as the body, is that meals in the intimacy of a family dining-room or kitchen are unbearable.

[…]

At home, fatigue and boredom would sour the words they spoke and the food they ate, and the words would be hateful and the food would be dull as ditchwater and drearily served forth. […]

And having failed so completely to satisfy in harmony one of their three basic needs, it cannot be wondered that the other two, for love and shelter, are increasingly unfulfilled. There can be no warm, rich home-life anywhere else if it does not exist at table, and in the same way there can be no enduring family happiness, no real marriage, if a man and woman cannot open themselves generously and without suspicion one to the other over a shared bowl of soup as well as a shared caress.

[…]

A healthy interest in the pleasures of the table, the gastronomical art, can bring much happiness. […]

In Richardson Wright’s Bed-Book of Eating and Drinking, he wrote in a discussion of the delights of supping in the kitchen, that more meals served on oilcloth by the stove might be one way to “stabilise our American marital status. I hold to the lowly belief,” he went on, “that a man never knows the sureness of being happily married until he has… cooked a meal himself”.

[…]

“The first sign of marital trouble is when a man or woman finds it distasteful to face each other at table. … I am convinced that a man and wife with congenial appetites and a knowledge of foods and cooking have the basis for lasting happiness.”

[…]

Even steak and potatoes, when they have been prepared with a shared interest and humour and intelligence, can be one great pleasure which leads to another, and perhaps — who knows — an even greater one.

In fact I would be tempted to go a step further and suggest that anyone who cannot enjoy food cannot truly enjoy life.

MFK Fisher’s Love in a Dish and Other Pieces is due for publication by Penguin in April 2011; it can be pre-ordered from Amazon.

memes, quotes, sexuality

On Gender and Sexuality

I’m getting tired. Tired of the continual stream of references I see to people being not male or female, nor even gay or lesbian but a whole plethora of other weird sexual stereotypes: queer, cis, trans, genderqueer, and who knows what else.

With very few exceptions biological gender is binary: either male or female. (Yes I know there are aberrations caused by extra or missing chromosomes etc., but they are relatively unusual.)

Sexuality however is an analog scale which runs from “100% blokey male” to “100% girlie female”, with every possible shade, tint and hue in between. That’s why this is an analog scale and not a digitally quantised one.

What this means is that one’s place on this analog scale of sexuality is not entirely fixed by biological gender, nor environment, nor any other variable you choose to look at. Nor is it necessarily fixed in time. Everyone is some (variable) mix of male and female sexuality; again hence the analog scale.

[I must write a post about how I see the different dimensions of maleness and femaleness.]

It seems to me that this can be summarised in the following model:

Yes, it is a simple view. But simple views are often the best way of understanding what’s going on.

As you’ll all understand from this I am far from denying that peoples’ sexuality, and how they identify themselves through that sexuality, is (or should be) binary. It isn’t binary; and there is no reason it should be. You can be, identify as and act any darn mix of sexuality you like; such is your right. I just don’t care what arbitrary name you call it; it’s irrelevant. (And of course I may or may not care to identify with that role myself.)

At the end of the day you are you and that’s what I’m interested in. If your sexuality comes into whatever relationship (close or remote; another analog scale) we have – and it will, however peripherally – then so be it. It still doesn’t matter what it’s called.

If you find it (socially) useful to identify yourself as genderqueer or a green tricycle, that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to care. Either we will get along or we won’t. The fact that you’re a green tricycle and I’m a red fireplace isn’t what it’s about. At least in my world view.

OK?

amusements, music, personal, sexuality, thoughts

Tasmanian Liberation

Just today (where have I been?) I came across this song from Amanda Palmer & The Young Punx. It’s catchy. But more than that, the lyrics (at the bottom of this page on Amanda Palmer’s website if they’re not clear) are a hoot. (And they mostly accord with my view of the way the world should be. Hehe!)

There’s the background to the song (if you need an explanation) and a video of her original rendition on Amanda Palmer’s blog. And comment on SPIN amongst other sites.

Enjoy … but it’s probably NSFW!

[youtube

OMG! I’m turning into a punk rapper! At my age!?!? OMG!!!!!

amusements, food+drink, sexuality, thoughts

A Difficult Question

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OK, so here’s a really hard question for everyone which I saw being discussed on the internet a few days ago.

Which would you rather give up forever … cheese or oral sex?

And no, you aren’t allowed to negotiate restrictions and loopholes. It means all oral sex, both given and received. And it means all cheese: from cheddar to Camembert and Gorgonzola to cream cheese.

Although it is interesting to speculate why one might ever have to make such a decision, it is a hard question, isn’t it?

I think I have to agree with the apparent majority and elect to forego oral sex. As one person has remarked: there are lots of ways to have an orgasm but only one way to eat pizza, macaroni cheese or deep-fried brie.

What would you choose – and why? (And no you don’t have to make your decision public if it embarrasses you!)