Apologies everyone, there’s going to be a (hopefully short) hiatus while I recover from this nasty gastric flu bug — complete with debilitating dizzy fits.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Category Archives: personal
Non, Papa Francesco!
A few weeks ago, Pope Francis stated as his opinion that couples who choose not to have children were selfish.
A society with a greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society. The choice to not have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.
[Guardian; 11 February 2015]
No. Absolutely not. I cannot agree. In fact the opposite is true: couples who have children are the selfish ones.
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Even leaving aside the cost of raising children, they are an environmental disaster. Right from the off parents have to provide nappies, where the choice is between two very un-green options: washable cotton terry towelling or disposables. Noreen looked at this from a professional standpoint and came to the conclusion there was little to choose, environmentally, between the options.
And from then on there is an ever increasing requirement for clothing, food, warmth, entertainment, schooling and all manner of other plastic toot. Very little of which is at all environmentally friendly.
Children are really not very green.
Which, I’m sorry to say, seems to mean that couples who have children do so essentially for their own gratification. What is that if it isn’t selfish? Especially on a planet which is already over-populated.
Noreen and I made a deliberate decision, some 30 years ago, not to have children. We were neither of us sure we wanted children and we both had (some approximation to) a career: me earning money and Noreen in a relatively poorly paid public service job giving back to the community.
In making the decision we committed to be there for our friends; their children; their grand-children; and even their parents. Why? Because at some time everyone is going to need some support.
However good a parent — and most parents do a fantastic job — they can never provide everything a child needs. There will always come a time when there will be something a child will not wish to discuss with their parents, but for which they might value unbiased support: boy/girl-friend problems; job worries; study concerns; money worries; having done something stupid and needing bailing out of the police station; or just needing a bed for the night. And adults can need these things too, of course.
Over the years we have been rung at 3AM by a friend wanting support because they’re in court the following day. We’ve helped friends through divorce. We’ve provided a contact point for the teenage daughters of American friends travelling alone through London. We’ve talked to teenagers about study options and going to university. We’ve connected parts of both our families back together. And so on …
How is this selfish?
OK, so from a biological point of view we aren’t propagating our genes. So what? Does it matter? If it doesn’t matter to us, then it matters not at all. And it is no-one else’s concern. But yes, we are lucky to have had the choice.
We’ve given up the option of passing on our genes and increasing the population in favour of helping other people who are already here, and most of whom are completely unrelated.
None of that sounds selfish to me — precisely the opposite.
So, no, Papa Francesco, on this you aren’t even wrong.
Five Questions, Series 7
So, almost nine months on (is this significant?) from starting the last round of Five Questions, I bring you another series. As always they’re bound to keep us on our toes, and I hope provide some humour as well.
Here in Series 7 we bring you more questions both profound and stupid (often at the same time) which will be answered with whatever degree of seriousness and erudition — or not — I feel like at the time.
So the five questions for Series 7 are:
- Does killing time damage eternity?
- What is your spirit animal?
- How can you drop a raw egg on a concrete floor without cracking it?
- Does thought require language?
- What character (fictional if you wish) you would like to kiss?
Unlike the last series, I promise to try to post answers are regular, weekly-ish, intervals and not leave everyone dangling for weeks between answers.
Oh, and you’re all invited to sing along — I’d like it if you all joined in! You can either answer the questions, as I answer them, by posting in the comments or by posting your answers on your own blog (in which case just leave a comment here so we can find your words of wisdom).
I’ll aim to answer, or at least attempt to answer, Question 1 in about a week’s time.
Until then, play nicely! ☺
Weekly Photograph
This week a self-portrait from several years ago. Taken, with a fisheye lens, in our hotel room when away for the weekend — I was actually going to a school reunion.
Self-Portrait with Chair
Cheshunt; June 2008
Ten Things #14
This month in “Ten Things” I thought we should have a look at my weekend. I won’t claim this is typical although many of the activities are far from unusual.
10 Things I did Last Weekend
- Hosted Anthony Powell Society Quarterly London Pub Meet
- Read and wrote an enormous number of emails
- Checked out Noreen’s laptop which was threatening to die
- Did the household paperwork and ensured the bills had been paid
- Wrote my monthly “Chairman’s Bulletin” for my GP’s patients’ group members
- Processed a pile of bookings for the Anthony Powell Lecture in April
- Wrote the minutes of the last meeting of GP’s patients’ group
- Read (most of) this week’s New Scientist
- Slept, including a long lie in on Sunday
- Drank too much beer; not enough to be drunk or have a hangover but more than I should given my diabetes.
So how was your weekend? Did you do anything other than nothing?
Weekly Photograph
This week I bring you two photographs of magnificent memorials from Goudhurst church in Kent, taken at the end of the day after we had been round some of the nearby villages in search of my ancestors.
[You really do need to click the images and look at larger versions on Flickr!]
The first, which dates from around 1616, is to William Campion and his wife Rachell:
Goudhurst Campion Tomb
Goudhurst, Kent; September 2014
The second, of about the same date, is the tomb of Sir Thomas Colpepper:
Goudhurst Colepepyr Tomb
Goudhurst, Kent; September 2014
Just look at this Colepepyr tomb. The guy had 14 sons (two of whom died as babies) and 5 daughters, admittedly by two wives. OK he was clearly well off — the Culpepers were Tudor and Stuart courtiers — but to have this many children and to lose only two under the age of about 5 or 6 is remarkable.
Ten Things #13
This month’s “ten things” list is suitably topical for the beginning of the year.
To quote my friend Katy:
Regular readers will know that I do no do punitive resolutions. I don’t believe in forcing myself into a miserable cycle of activities I really don’t want to do, but feel in some spartan way would be ‘good for me’, and which I torture myself with before inevitably giving up, because they’re hateful and things that are good for me in that way are usually about as much fun as sitting on a spike and eating raw turnips.
However here is a list of 10 things I am going to try to do in 2015, in no special order:
- Kick the depression
- Drink more champagne
- Keep breathing
- Restart meditation
- Take more photographs
- Be drawn/painted/photographed nude by someone other than family
- Have at least one 2 week holiday
- Celebrate my mother’s 100th birthday with her
- Visit Horniman Museum
- Go somewhere/do something I’ve not done before
Some of those are going to be a lot harder than others, and not all are ultimately within my control, so it remains to be seen how successful I shall be, but we’ll give it a go and not be disappointed if we fail.
Happy New Year
Happy & Prosperous New Year
May your 2015 be better than your 2014!
And welcome to another year of Zen Mischief blogging. We started back in January 2004 and since then have gone through a number of incarnations and design changes. But there are no major changes planned for this year (well at least none that I know about yet) — we’ll be continuing with the usual eccentric and eclectic mix. So please keep checking back to see what we’re up to!
Meanwhile it must be time for another glass of champagne! Hic!
My 2014 in Summary
As last year here is a survey to summarise my engagement (or lack of it) with 2014.
1. What did you do that you’d never done before?
Yoga
Have a full body massage
Got hearing aids
Injected myself with drugs (legally!)
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make New Year resolutions (see here); but I did have some goals most of which I failed to achieve.
3. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
£2M
Good health
4. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory?
None that I can think of.
5. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had an awful respiratory virus which floored me for over a month in February/March and again in October/November.
And then there’s the ongoing diabetes and depression.
6. What was the best thing you bought?
Gin and champagne
7. Where did most of your money go?
As far as I can tell absolutely nowhere, and certainly nowhere very worthwhile (unless you count gin and champagne!).
8. What did you get really, really excited about?
Nothing; I don’t waste effort on excitement or panic.
9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a. happier or sadder? — sadder, ‘cos I haven’t kicked the depression hard enough in the gonads.
b. thinner or fatter? — fatter, but not by very much.
c. richer or poorer? — poorer, if only due to expensive dental treatment.
10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sex
Sit in the garden in the sun
11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Been stuck to a desk
12. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Survival
13. What was your biggest failure?
Yoga
14. How many one-night stands?
None
15. What was your favourite TV program?
I’ve just not watched anything like enough TV to be able to make any sort of judgement.
16. What was the best book you read?
Two books by Alice Roberts come out top of the heap: Evolution: The Human Story (Dorling Kindersey, 2011) and The Incredible Unlikeliness of Being: Evolution and the Making of Us (Heron Books, 2014)
17. What did you want and get?
An immense amount of help and support, in all sorts of ways, from Noreen, for which I am far more grateful than I think she realises.
18. What did you want and not get?
£2m
Sanity
19. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Choose between better health and a couple of holidays.
20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
Nude when possible, clothed when necessary.
21. What kept you sane?
Did anything keep me sane?
22. Who did you miss?
I’ve no idea! I’m not conscious of having specifically missed anyone.
23. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:
Quality of life is more important than stressing yourself to conform to society’s expectations. But then I failed to live up to it.
24. A quote or song lyric that sums up your year:
It’ll pass, Sir, like other days in the Army.
[Anthony Powell, A Dance to the Music of Time]
25. Your hopes for 2015
Society normalises sex and nudity rather than criminalising it
Any office block which is less than half occupied for more than 3 months has to be converted into flats, or demolished and homes built on the site
Drink more champagne
Be painted or photographed nude
Have at least one 2 week holiday
My mother makes her 100th birthday
So how was your 2014? And what are you hoping for in 2015?
Relaxing Christmas
Yes, we’ve had a nice relaxing day of presents, drink and food but without over-indulging.
Had a bit of a lie-in and got up about 9.30. Two mince pies and mug of tea for breakfast.
I rang my mother and had a quick chat with her; she’s in a care home 120 miles away so although we aren’t there she isn’t on her own.
About 11.30 we sat down with an extra large G&T (Noreen had a similarly large Bacardi & Coke) and opened our main presents. As always there was a fair amount of alcohol and quite a few books. But we always manage to find each other something unusual: this year I got Noreen a Jersey milk/cream jug — silver plate, pre-WWII and probably made for the tourist market, but a nice thing nonetheless.
After clearing up a bit we had our traditional Christmas Day lunch of smoked salmon sandwiches at about 1.30 (we have Christmas Dinner in the evening).
At 3-ish Noreen put a large leg of pork in the oven to roast; while I had a nap she went to see the old lady across the road (who is 90+ and on her own) for an hour or so.
Just after 5 we both got to work in the kitchen on the rest of dinner. Somehow we managed to avoid any alcohol in the process!
Dinner at about 7: Roast Pork, sausage, garlic potatoes, roast parsnips, sprouts, chestnut stuffing and apple sauce. Accompanied by a bottle of pink champagne (which also now one of our traditions). No need for starters or pudding; just a good main course.
After dinner we sat and opened presents part two which I accompanied with a glass of an unusual, rather nice and delicate rosé port Noreen had given me. The tradition from my family is to have small presents, from under the tree, in the evening — really just a little something to unwrap like a few chocs or a paperback book.
After that we sat reading for a bit and abhorring the available choices of TV viewing.
And shortly to bed, perhaps to read some more, maybe with another glass of something.
I think we’ll call that a good Christmas!