Category Archives: people

history, people, personal, thoughts

Ah, Those Were the Days!

I’m not long home from an interestingly nostalgic weekend — I’ve been to a school reunion for those of who left Cheshunt Grammar School (Hertfordshire) in 1967-68-69. I was the youngest of these years as I left in ’69. The reunion (arranged by one of the ’68 leavers on his own initiative) was in the Red Cow pub, Windmill Lane, Cheshunt — about 5 minutes walk from the site of the old school, which is sadly no more, the site now being houses! Yes, the Red Cow was one of the pubs frequented by the 6th form at lunchtimes — except when we were banned, or the headmaster found out, when we went across the road to The Maltsters or into the town to the Rose & Crown.

We had a great time with about 40-50 people there (including some non-CGS partners) — not bad from an audience of probably 200, especially as many of us have lost complete touch with our school-friends. Being today there wasn’t as much beer being sunk as there would have been a few years ago — people were either being good or driving, or both! The pub laid on a good array of finger food. Having arrived about 4.30 we left soon after 9pm and the group was still going strong — if they were true to form they continued well into the night!

There were several people there I was quite friendly with at school as well as many I didn’t remember. Our deputy head (who unsuccessfully taught me History) also came along; I guess Kate must now be around 80, but she looked extremely fit and well, remembered us all and was interested to know what and how we’d all done. Richard who did the organising had arranged for our “all school” photographs from 1963 and 1968 to be printed up and displayed, so fun was had by all identifying the people (pupils and staff). Someone else brought their scrapbook of school memorabilia — I must look mine out! — which was another good conversation piece.

Everyone there seemed to be retired or on the point of retiring. Sadly I have a few years to go yet, unless I can magic together that big lottery win!

The reunion, plus a couple of drives around some parts of the town, turned it into a really nostalgic weekend, especially as I’ve not visited the area at all for 20 years. Indeed I left with quite a pang of home-sickness in my stomach — something I’m not used to and was quite disturbing. Let’s hope we can all meet up again sooner than another 40 years! We certainly should have a big bash for our 50th anniversary!!

Those were the days — the happiest days our our lives! Maybe an overstatement but they must certainly come close.

(Maybe some photos later.)

books, people, personal

On Friendship and the Anthony Powell Society

Jilly, over at jillysheep, believes I blame her for changing my life — and she is right for it is she who introduced me to Anthony Powell, something which ultimately led to the formation of the Anthony Powell Society and why I have little time to call my own (I’m the Society’s Hon. Secretary).

Jilly has just given the Anthony Powell Society and this weblog a nice little puff. Just to complete the miniature picture she paints, here is my comment in reply:

Thanks for the puff, Jilly! Yes, you changed my life and by more than just introducing me to Powell, but maybe the rest shouldn’t be discussed here. 😉

The Anthony Powell Society also hosts an active email discussion list at groups.yahoo.com/group/aplist/ which is open to all. And some members of that list have started their own reading group which can be found at www.adancetothemusicoftime.com/readinggroup/ tho’ it hasn’t yet really got off the ground. Both are open access and everyone is welcome.

Thanks, Jilly! 🙂

beliefs, people, personal, sexuality, thoughts

Rules for Living Life

I recently came across a weblog posting by Jonathan Fields over at Awake at the Wheel where he suggests “Six timeless rules for my 6-year-old daughter“. Never having had children, let alone a six-year-old, I’m not going to discuss the merits or otherwise of Jonathan’s rules. But they set me thinking: What rules for life would I commend? And I came up with these seven.

  1. Change happens. The only thing which doesn’t change is something which is dead. We all change; it’s called life. Some change is good, some is bad; that’s called evolution. You can either fight change or go with it. Fighting it is destructive; you can’t stop change, so much better to go with it and see what opportunities are presented.
  2. Life isn’t fair; deal with it. Things aren’t always going to go your way, and neither should they. If they did we would never learn. There is nothing you can do about most of the unfairnesses and stupidities, so quit worrying about them and let them flow over you. Accept it when things don’t go your way, try to understand why, and move on.
  3. Live the now. Go for it; grasp opportunities when they’re offered. As my wife’s favourite aunt used to say: “I take my treats as they come.” That doesn’t mean you should always live for the here and now, and never plan ahead. Clearly there is a balance. But don’t shut yourself off from the present and from opportunities because you’re worrying about what might happen – it might not and you will have missed out!
  4. Trust your gut instinct, but consider the consequences of your actions. We all spend too much time thinking and worrying. Yes, we must be aware of the consequences of our actions – not to do so is selfish and would ultimately lead to anarchy (as well as violating rule 7). But don’t over-analyse. There comes a time, usually sooner rather than later, to make a decision. Go for it. Sometimes despite your head’s better judgement your gut instinct will say: “but that isn’t the right choice for me”, “it doesn’t feel right”, “I know it’s risky but that’s what I really have to do”. Trust your gut and your heart to make the right choice. If we only ever trusted our heads, we’d never fall in love!
  5. Learn; don’t regret. We can only ever make the best decision we can at the time with the information available. We usually don’t have enough information or we’ll make a wrong choice. There is no point looking back and regretting your decision, or worrying about what might have been; you can’t change the decision; you did the best you could at the time. Try to understand why your choice was not the best and move on. I always say I have no regrets; I admit there are things I have done which I should not have done and wouldn’t do again, but I hope I’ve learnt from them and that is valuable – so why should I regret having done them, except perhaps in as much as it hurt other people.
  6. Communicate. Probably the biggest cause of things going wrong or misunderstandings is a lack of communication. We always say that communication is the most important factor in any marriage/relationship; and it’s true. But it applies equally to everything we do. If you don’t communicate, how do others know what you think, what you’re going to do, or what you want them to do? And communication doesn’t mean just talk; it isn’t all one way: you outwards! It means listen as well; listen hard and properly to what is being said to you; make sure you understand it.
  7. Treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself. This is perhaps most important of all; if you can achieve this most of the rest will follow. It is the cornerstone of my personal management method (which I call “Ethical Management” although it’s really about getting the best from people – but that’s something for another day). It isn’t “do to others before they do unto you” as seems so common today. It is “do to others what you would like them to do to you”. If you treat other people fairly then the wheels will turn more easily. People are like wasps: they’re essentially good; respect them and they’ll respect you; they only get vindictive when you get snotty with them. Don’t just screw someone for your personal short-term gain. Don’t do things to gratuitously annoy someone. Try to understand the world through their eyes. Why are they in a grumpy mood? Sympathise – better empathise — with them. Understand that it isn’t they who made that error and try to help them to help you to put it right. The Dalai Lama’s word is compassion, meant in its broadest sense. Treat others with compassion.

I do try to live by these rules myself, although I have to admit I didn’t always; I’ve had to learn them for myself, the hard way. I don’t always succeed, but that’s part of learning: if you’re not failing occasionally then you’re not taking enough risks to move “the business” (whatever that is; read “life”?) forward.

I would commend these to anyone. OK maybe not in this form until that someone is in their teens, at least, but I’m sure they can be packaged in suitable words for people of any age.

beliefs, history, people, personal, science, sexuality, thoughts

Infinitely Boggling Science

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Time to catch up on some Scientific American articles I’ve read over the last few weeks.

Remembrance of Things Future
An interesting article on how a writer in December 1900 thought things would be a century later. As expected some right:

  • ready cooked meals will be bought from the equivalent of bakeries
  • no street cars (ie. trams) in large cities

but mostly wrong:

  • mosquitoes, flies, rats and mice will have been exterminated
  • the alphabet will not longer contain C, X and Q
  • all traffic will be below ground, consequently
  • cities will be free of noise
  • Nicaragua and Mexico would be part of the USA

Full article
Complete list of original predictions

Infinity
Hard question of the year: Does infinity come in different sizes?
Hard answer: Yes.

This back-page “Fact or Fiction” article from January’s Scientific American contains some interesting insights, and some interesting mathematical sleights of hand. We probably all accept that there are an infinite number of integers (the natural numbers 1, 2, 3 …). And between each pair of adjacent integers there are an infinite number of fractional numbers (2.1, 2.11, 2.111, 2.112112 …). That means there are infinity to the power infinity real numbers (natural numbers and fractions) – which is an infinitely different ball-game in terms of defining the size of infinity.

Full article

Love, Sex and Robots
Finally an item from the March Scientific American which considers the proposition that we might one day (soon) be able to have a relationship with, marry and even have sex with, a robot of the opposite sex. Scary? Probably for most of us. Fantasy? Probably not. After all go back 100 years and the idea of male homosexual marriage was absurd. Apparently there is a lot to be said for allowing the socially inept [my phrase] to gain some mutual comfort from a relationship with a robot. And there are already experiments showing that children (at least) will spontaneously treat a robot as (almost) sentient, for example by putting it to bed when its batteries run flat. I see the arguments, but I remain firmly skeptical.

Full article
books, current affairs, people, quotes

Hugh Massingberd RIP

It greatly saddens me to have to report the death on Christmas Day of Hugh Massingberd after a long battle with cancer; he was just days short of his 61st birthday.

“Hugh Massingberd was a true gentleman of letters” (Dr Nicholas Birns) who was variously a prolific author and editor of books on the English and country houses, editor of Burke’s Peerage and Burke’s Landed Gentry, book reviewer and writer. However he will probably be best remembered as the father of the modern obituary, being for some years Editor of the Daily Telegraph‘s Obituaries pages; “his creed was that an obituary should give pleasure to relatives and friends as well as to the general reader” (International Herald Tribune). He will also be remembered for being guyed in Private Eye as “Massivesnob” – something which greatly amused him.

More importantly for me Hugh was President, and latterly an Hon Vice-President, of the Anthony Powell Society, and had a quiet but significant influence on the early days of the Society. He was a great friend of the Powell family and of the Society. In December 2005 (when already unwell) he produced an entertainment “Love and Art” for Anthony Powell’s centenary celebrations. He was also a major influence on the Wallace Collection’s Powell centenary exhibition, being instrumental in suggesting (and helping locate) potential objects for inclusion; he seemed to know of, and know the whereabouts of, every possible Powell-related artifact that ever existed!

I had the privilege of knowing Hugh and sharing, all too briefly, his unending friendship and camaraderie. He will be very greatly missed by many.

Obituaries: Daily Telegraph, International Herald Tribune, Independent.

arts, people, personal, quotes, thoughts

Friendship

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I’ve just come back from a couple of days in Somerset attending the funeral of one of my closest friends. Although old enough to be my father, Victor was 82 when he died a couple of weeks ago, we had been friends for almost 35 years since we met when we were both post-grad students: he doing an MA in Art History, me just starting on my doctorate in Chemical Spectroscopy. In the year we spent together at university we became close friends; so close that when Victor’s wife died a couple of years back I was asked to be the celebrant at her funeral, and this week I gave the funeral oration for Victor – which was well received.

How nice then to return to find the following quote (attributed to Muhammad Ali) in my email:

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.

I’ll perhaps write more about Victor later; as I said in my eulogy, he was a great man.

books, food+drink, memes, people, thoughts

Getting to Know Me Better — A Meme

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I’ve just come across this meme lurking on my machine — see they never die out! I’ve no idea where I got it from, but let’s see if we can start it off again.

Getting to Know Me Better

What time did you get up this morning?
As it’s Saturday I had a nice lie in, following a late-ish night. Didn’t get up until about 09.45. On work mornings it is anything between 6 and 8am depending on what my schedule is.

Diamonds or pearls?
If I must, pearls, but I’d much prefer tanzanite or amber.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I keep telling you I don’t do films, so it’ll be no surprise when I tell you the last time I recall going to the cinema was to see Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s Pictures at an Exhibition in 1973! It was on with a film by The Strawbs which was really why we went.

What is your favourite TV show?
Channel 4 TV’s Time Team. Three days of serious archaeological investigation condensed into an hour of TV. Usually interesting even if they do dig too many Roman and pre-Roman sites for my interest.

What do you usually have for breakfast?
I used not to do breakfast, other than a large mug of tea. However since I’ve been told I’m diabetic I do try to have something, even if not the ideally balanced breakfast the medics would like. So now it’s that large mug of tea with some fruit, yoghurt or toast.

Favourite cuisine?
It’s probably a toss-up between Indian and Italian.

What food do you dislike?
Egg custard is my biggest hate. Not over keen on milk puddings. And I don’t like meat and sugar (meat and fruit is OK as long as it isn’t sweet as well).

What is your favourite CD at the moment?
Pink Floyd; Wish You were Here. But you could choose almost anything from late Beatles or 70s Pink Floyd, Yes, Caravan.

Morning or night person?
Neither. I don’t generally survive much past 11.30pm, though I can get a second wind after midnight. And I’m useless at getting up in the morning, as was my father before me.

Favourite sandwich?
Whatever I fancy at the time. Choose from: smoked salmon, chicken & avocado, bacon, prawns.

What characteristic do you despise?
Most of all management lies and politics. Being a cynic I see through it all. I also hate people who know it all, who have to be right, or think their God’s gift.

Favourite item of clothing?
Nothing. I wear as few clothes as I can as much of the time as I can. We both spend a lot of our time at home wearing nothing; or a t-shirt and jeans in the middle of winter. Fortunately our house is naturally warm so we don’t have to waste energy on heating it; the heating thermostat is set at about 20C. But then I’m not one to feel the cold and never have been; when I was young and playing cricket I was always the first to discard a sweater and the last to put one on. Now I have a good covering of blubber.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
Difficult. For a “do nothing” holiday I fancy a naturist village by the sea in a nice sunny area of France (and I mean a real village; none of this Cap d’Agde rubbish). For a sightseeing holiday I rather fancy Japan. And travel has to be by magic carpet, door to door.

What colour is your bathroom?
Ivory.

Favourite brand of clothing?
I’ve already told you I don’t wear clothes if I don’t have to. In consequence I don’t couldn’t care less about brands. Vain I am not.

Where would you retire to?
Probably Dorset, South Devon or Norfolk, although I suspect we’ll stay where we are.

What was your most memorable birthday?
My 21st. It’s about the only one I do remember. I was given a coffee percolator and in road testing it got caffeine poisoning.

Favourite sport to watch?
Cricket, as long as it isn’t this one-day rubbish played in pyjamas. But then I’ve lost tough with cricket as I got disillusioned quite a few years ago with the way the game was being run and bastardised as a marketing exercise.

When is your birthday?
11 January

What is your shoe size?
10 or 11 depending on the cut; I have very broad and deep feet.

Pets?
Two cats and lots of fish (tropical and pond).

What did you want to be when you were little?
When I was really little I hadn’t got a clue; I was always worried that my friends all knew they wanted to be engine drivers or whatever when I didn’t even know how to start thinking about the problem. By the time I was 15 or 16 I knew I wanted to do scientific research, which I achieved if only briefly.

What is your favourite flower?
Hmmm, probably daffodils and lilies.

What date on the calendar are you looking forward to?
The one when I get that big lottery win and retire.

What music do you like?
Almost anything before Bach and 60s/70s pop/rock.

Your Favourite Book?
Anthony Powell’s A Dance to the Music of Time. But then you knew I’d say that.

That’s it. I’ll tag Kelly, Jilly, Sue, Noreen, Misty, Chris. Either post your answers on your weblog and add a pointer in the comments here, or post your answers as a comment.

Enjoy!

memes, people

Friday Five: Birthdays

1. When is your birthday?
Yesterday!

2. How old will you be?
I was 56. Probably a good average. Body feels more like 76 and brain about like 26.

3. Do you prefer to throw a party or attend a party?
I’m a grumpy old git so I don’t often do parties. Guess it’s partly because I didn’t get into the habit as a kid. Giving parties is stressful. And as I don’t give parties no-one invites me to theirs. Easy really!

4. Presents: take’em or leave’em?
As my birthday doesn’t worry me particularly (see a couple of posts below), neither do presents. It’s nice to get them, but it isn’t essential. I’m just as happy for someone to say “happy birthday” and buy me a beer.

5. Best birthday so far?
Not a clue. I’ve had a lot and not many have been sparkling — just the way my birthdays are. Had a couple of good ones as a post-grad student with friends lining up more gin & tonics on the bar than I could (un)reasonably drink!

[Brought to you courtesy of Friday Fiver]

people

Happy Birthday to Me

Yes, today is my birthday. No it isn’t a special one; just an ordinary run-of-the-mill “I’m getting older” birthday. I’m not one to make a fuss about my birthday, well not since I was a kid anyway. I remember eagerly anticipating my birthday as a child and then finding it was an anti-climax — in part because it was always a handful of days into the school term after Christmas. Boo! Hiss! So now it’s just another day, tho’ in recent years I’ve tried to take the day off work; sadly not this year, but I’m having a day off next week.

Do other people find that, as they have lots more birthdays, they get less interesting and fun? Or am I just a grumpy old git after racking up 56 of them?