Category Archives: memes

amusements, memes, personal, thoughts

This Week's Meme: I Like to …

Here’s a meme which is currently doing the rounds; I’ve stolen it from Kellypuffs and little.red.boat. All you have to do is go to Google, type in “[your name] likes to” and then cut’n’paste the results. Ah, and add some explanation if you wish.

So apparently, Keith likes to …

… play tennis. False. I never did get tennis and the couple of times I’ve tried playing it I failed miserably. Squash, yes. Badminton, yes. But not tennis.

… take pictures. True. I’ve been taking photographs since my early teens, so about 45 years. And my photography is just as crap now as it was then, but I’m stupid enough to keep trying despite not having a single creative fibre in my body.

… shop. False. I dislike shopping. But I do like buying nice things and spending money.

… drink. True. I especially enjoy a few beers or a bottle of wine, but I’m not supposed to have it. And no I don’t binge drink and get legless — I did that once when I was a student; it was horrible.

… regale us with his inadequacies but has a surreptitious flair for survival. I’m probably guilty of this; I’ll let you judge.

… tinker around with home projects. False. I don’t tinker around with anything practical; I have 10 left thumbs. I’m also lazy.

… get in on the party. False. I’m not really a party animal, though as a student I always wanted to be.

… think of himself as a tyrant, but really he’s just a pussycat. I don’t know about the tyrant bit, I’m not aware of doing this. But yes, I’m a pussycat; anything for a quiet life; curl up in the duvet and sleep. 🙂

… play his ukulele. This is a euphemism, right? If so then I’m as guilty as any other red-blooded male.

… sit and enjoy peace and quiet. True. The only thing is I get restless and guilty because I’m “wasting time”.

… go running and fishing. False. I hate running; it’s boring and bad for the knees; I don’t do things I don’t enjoy. Fishing, unless one is doing it for food, seems unnecessarily cruel as well as boring.

… randomly strip naked. Guilty. But then I was brought up as a naturist.

… ski, sail and travel. False. I hated travel when I was younger, but I don’t mind it so much now. But I’m too sane to go skiing and I hate water so sailing is out.

… plan ahead. Always. That’s why I work as a project manager. Remember the 5 Ps: Perfect planning prevents pathetic performance.

… build models. False. I keep telling you I have 10 left thumbs.

I’ll tag anyone who is daft enough to play this silly game! 🙂

amusements, memes

Alphabet Meme

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Let’s start my very own meme and see if it has any genetic fitness. Here’s what you do:

  • Write the opening sentences of a story using predominantly the words of the NATO phonetic alphabet*.
  • Post it on your weblog/website with a copy of these instructions and a link back to this site.
  • Optionally leave a comment to this post with a forward link to your offering.
  • Tag three others (more if you like) by leaving a comment on their weblog.

OK so here’s my offering:

It was November; the season when X-rays echo through the sierra. Returning from the Delta of Kilo, Romeo and Juliet met alpha male Papa Zulu for whisky in the Quebec Bravo Hotel only to find Oscar’s Yankee uniform unsuitable for their foxtrots and tangos. Meanwhile at Lima, Charlie and Mike were planning golf in India with Victor …

Not hugely inspired; I’m sure you can all do better!

Oh and (‘cos I think your zany humour will enjoy doing this) I tag: Jilly at jillysheep, Kelly at Kellypuffs – Not Just for Breakfast Anymore and Tina at Momentary lapses of insanity… – oh and to encourage her to blog more I’ll include the spousal unit, Noreen at Norn’s Notebook.

* Just in case you don’t know it off by heart the NATO Phonetic Alphabet is: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whisky, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu.

beliefs, books, current affairs, medical, memes, personal, science, sexuality, thoughts, topographical

One Word Meme

This meme has managed to insinuate its way into here, so I’d better respond to it.

There’s only one rule: you get only one word.

Yourself: Depressed
Your Partner: Sexy
Your Hair: Greying
Your Mother: Ninety-Two
Your Father: Dead
Your Favorite Item: Camera
Your Dream Last Night: Anxiety
Your Favorite Drink: Beer
Your Dream Car: None
Your Dream Home: Tidy
The Room You Are In: Study
Your Fear: Poverty
Where Do You Want To Be In 10 Years: Retired
Who You Hung Out With Last: Friends
What You’re Not: Fit
Muffins: Mules
One of Your Wish List Items: Japan
Time: Midday
Last Thing You Did: Email
What Are You Wearing: Nothing
Your Favorite Weather: Sunshine
Your Favorite Book: Dance
Last Thing You Ate: Tablets
Your Mood: Lazy
Your Best Friends: Local
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Sleep
Your Car: None
Your Summer: Seaside
What’s on your TV: Politics
What is your weather like: Raining
When Is the Last Time You Laughed: Yesterday
Your Relationship Status: Happy

Feel free to allow this to insinuate its way into your mind/weblog as well. 🙂

amusements, memes, thoughts, topographical

Zen Mischievous Moments #138

For the Brits amongst us …

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then while travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

  • Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
  • Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
  • Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls – and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call – from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place!
  • Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION…

  • 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
  • 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
  • 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
  • 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
  • British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Christmas cracker pulling accidents.
  • 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
  • A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
  • 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally …

  • In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Are you proud to be British?

[With thanks to Sue Frye]