Category Archives: beliefs

beliefs, ramblings

Gendered Loos

A story in the Guardian earlier this week quotes “feminist academic” Germaine Greer as saying publicly on Channel 4 TV that all public toilets should be gender-neutral.

Now I don’t like Germaine Greer, her strident attitude and many of her apparent beliefs. But on this I have to agree with her. Why can’t toilets be gender-neutral?

I recall when I was a graduate student (mid-1970s), I was a student rep on the university’s accommodation sub-committee and we were debating the possibility of having mixed corridors in student residences. Not just mixed blocks with single sex corridors of rooms, but actually mixed corridors. This was put up for debate by the university housing department as a way of better utilising the available accommodation. None of the student reps had a problem with the idea, nor did the younger university staff; in fact the only objections came from a couple of stuffed shirts at the top of the housing department. As we all pointed out: bathrooms have doors which can be locked, as do student rooms; and we all have to live in the real world with mixed genders. So how are student residences any different especially when many students choose to live in mixed-gendered flats/houses.
(I don’t know if this was implemented as I left before the start of the next academic year.)

How is this different from having mixed toilets, even if the toilets are “public conveniences”? Our local swimming pool has a mixed gender changing room with cubicles. How is this different from mixed toilets? We live in a multi-gendered society. It’s not as if we’re asking pregnant or menstruating women (or indeed anyone else) to perform their ablutions without any screening; and yes, I do get why they wouldn’t want to.

So you think you (or the children) might see something they shouldn’t. Oh, please! For a start we all know what’s under my t-shirt and jeans, and your t-shirt and jeans, so why the fuss. And kids have to learn about what’s under those t-shirts and jeans, and the bodily functions, sooner or later. How much better for them to learn in an open environment where they can be properly, and age-appropriately, explained by a parent, grandparent etc. – or in an educational environment like a school?

Yes, OK, public toilets tend not to be the most pleasant of places, but we make them that way. Men’s loos are supposedly worse than women’s – until you talk to people who run clubs who’ll tell you the women’s loos are often much worse than the men’s. So we all need to be more civilised. And maybe the thought that the other gender – who, of course, we want to impress – are watching might get us all to smarten up our ideas.

If gender neutral (or should they be “gender inclusive”) toilets are such a bad idea how is it that many public organisations like theatres and museums, let alone many companies, are going this route? And how come “disabled access toilets” are always non-gendered?

I don’t buy all this division of facilitates, any facilities, by gender. For all me we’d have mixed gender changing rooms with no cubicles. I just don’t get the problem, and I never have. I can’t be doing with it.

So I have to concede that Germaine Greer is right: all public toilets should be gender neutral.

beliefs, personal

Simple Formula for Living

I happened on this somewhere on the intertubes the other day. Though undoubtedly not easy – each one of us will find different parts hard – one could do a lot worse than follow these precepts.

Simple Formula for Living

Live beneath your means.
Return everything you borrow.
Stop blaming other people.
Admit it when you make mistake.
Give clothes not worn to charity.
Do something nice and try not to get caught.
Listen more; talk less.
Every day take a 30 minute walk.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Be on time. Don’t make excuses.
Don’t argue. Get organized.
Be kind to unkind people.
Let someone cut ahead of you in line.
Take time to be alone.
Cultivate good manners.
Be humble.
Realise and accept that life isn’t fair.
Know when to keep your mouth shut.
Go an entire day without criticising anyone.
Learn from the past. Plan for the future.
Live in the present.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
It’s all small stuff.

beliefs, nudism, personal, ramblings

Pyjamas

A few days ago my friend Katy wrote on her “clothing therapy” blog Boostique about the delights of pyjamas – whether fancy fashion ones or the cheapo “old leggings and t-shirt” version.

Notions for what to wear in bed, or indeed slumming around the house (whether you work from home or just live the life of the idle rich) do tend to revolve around comfort. Something which Katy highlights. In this men don’t have it very different from women. With one exception, I suspect … While it is OK for Mum to take her kids on the school run still in flowery pink pyjamas, it isn’t really accepted that Dad does. At least it isn’t really accepted for a guy to be seen in saggy pyjama bottoms covered in fancy patterns of the Simpsons, or Jaguar E-types, let alone pink flowers. Men’s fashion just hasn’t caught up with these niceties yet!

Personally I cannot abide pyjamas – I find they’re uncomfortable as they are forever tangled up around the dangly bits. I’ve not worn them since I was a student with a room of my own (so over 45 years ago). Indeed I don’t even possess a pair of pyjamas and haven’t done for most of those 45 years.

As far as I can see, us guys have four options of what to wear in bed (and they’re actually much the same as the girls):

Pyjamas. As above but I include here all those ad hoc combinations of old jogging bottoms and t-shirts. If they work for you, or you’re a frozen mortal, fine. They don’t work for me.

Nightshirts. I had a proper, knee-length, nightshirt once. It didn’t last long. I found it as uncomfortable and liable to tie one in knots as pyjamas. When I was quite young I remember my father had a couple of old shirts, with long tails, that he wore to bed, but they eventually wore out entirely and weren’t replaced. Again good if you’re someone who is always cold, but otherwise forget it.

Boxer Shorts (or other such underwear). Again, great if you find them comfortable. I don’t see the point.

Nothing. As most regular readers will suspect this is my preference, and has been for those 45+ years. And there are, we’re told, lots of good reasons for sleeping nude:

  • It is more comfortable. Yes, it does feel odd at first, but that’s only because we’re not so used to being nude.
  • We need our body temperature to drop a little in order to induce sleep; so why swaddle ourselves in clothes which stop this?
  • Think of how much you save on the cost of pyjamas, and on the laundry!
  • We need to get air to the body. The more we cover ourselves in layers of fabric (especially synthetic fabric) the hotter and stickier we are, and the more prone to things like fungal infections. The body needs to breathe. I know that I’m more prone to itch of the groin in winter when I spend more time wearing clothes than I do in the summer. Benjamin Franklin knew this, and if it’s good enough for him …
  • It keeps the balls cooler. And that is actually good for the sperm count (if that’s something that matters to you).
  • It is sexier. There is nothing quite like snuggling together in bed, skin-to-skin. Yes, it really does make a difference. And it’s good for a healthy relationship.

So I can think of no good reason to wear clothes in bed, other than actually being cold. “But …”, you object …

What if the kids see me nude? Well good; so they should. It is unlikely to phase them and they have to learn about bodies sooner or later; how much better they do this at home, in a safe, controlled environment, where they can have their questions answered honestly? British Naturism (BN) exploded the myths around this some time back; see for example here.

What if the doorbell rings? You mean you don’t have a dressing gown hanging on the back of the bedroom door? Or a pair of shorts on the newel post? And anyway the courier has probably seen it all before, and if it’s the God-Squad maybe it’ll frighten them away for good.

What if there’s a fire? Do you really imagine that you, or anyone else, is going to care what you’re wearing if you’re trying to escape a fire?

What if I have to go into hospital? No problem. I’ve been in hospital several times in the last 45 years and the lack of pyjamas has never been an issue. Half the time they’ll have you in a surgical gown anyway; and when they don’t I’ve found that boxers and a t-shirt are just fine – indeed because hospitals are so hot I usually dispense with the t-shirt. Nurses have seen it all before; they learn very early in their carers that dangly bits etc. are just bits of body like any other. (Sexuality is in the context, not the appendage itself.)

Why not give bedtime nudity a go? You have nothing to lose and quite a lot to gain.

But remember: Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know who you’ll meet in your dreams. Choose your aftershave carefully and who is really going to mind if you’re unclothed?

beliefs, environment, history, links, medical, science

Monthly Links

Again there is a lot in this month’s edition of “Monthly Links”, so straight in …
Science, Technology & Natural World
If anyone thought that human evolution was straightforward and going to be easy to unravel, they need to think again! Hannah Devlin in the Guardian looks at the tangled web.
Sorry, guys, but the jury is still out whether human pheromones exist.
An interesting account of one journalist’s experience of putting everything in their house on the internet of things, and just how much information ends up in places you maybe wouldn’t want it.
Health & Medicine
A very useful article from Quanta showing how herd immunity from vaccination actually works and why immunisation rates are important (oh, and the – not too hard – maths behind it).
Giardia is a nasty little protozoan parasite which is prevalent in developing countries, but even in the developed world it can affect both us and our pets. Now, at last, scientists are beginning to understand how it works.
Sexuality
Our favourite OB/GYN, Dr Jen Gunther, discusses why some women find sex painful, and what they might do about it.


A banned Georgian sex manual reveals strange beliefs. And it’s up for auction next month.
Scientific American‘s Mind spin-off looks at how to be a better spouse.
Environment
French astronaut Thomas Pesquet says Earth is just a big spaceship with a crew and, like any craft, it needs to be maintained and looked after.
Giving up plastic, and really getting it out of our lives, is a surprisingly big challenge. Here’s how a few brave souls fared when trying.
But on another front there is some hope: that the UK might adopt the Norwegian bottle recycling system.
In the first of two articles this month from George Monbiot he looks at some of the ancient philosophy which is holding back our ability to embrace environmental change.
Our second Monbiot article he is mobilising us against a US trade deal, and especially US farming practices.
The answer it seems is wildflowers: strips of wildflowers through fields enable farmers to reduce pesticide spraying and help beneficial native species to flourish.
History, Archaeology & Anthropology
Some researchers are suggesting that our ancestor, Homo erectus, may have been able to sail and to speak.
Rather later on the journey to modern man, it seems the first Britons probably had dark skin, curly hair and blue eyes – at least the one buried in the Cheddar Caves did.
When do architects set up camp? When they’re building Stonehenge, of course.
Meanwhile on the other side of the world, some clever aerial imaging has discovered a huge Mayan city in the Guatemalan jungle.
Something special happened in 1504: a blood moon eclipse. nd without it the world might have been rather different.
Not long after Columbus and his blood moon eclipse, Henry VIII established the Royal College of Physicians to regulate the practice of medicine in and around London. And they’re still at it, and no longer just in London! And incidentally their museum is free and well worth visiting; and the interior (if not for everyone the exterior) of their Denis Lasdun building is a delight.
London
Which brings us nicely on to London …
An academic report says that the noise on parts of the London Underground is so loud that it could damage passengers and staff hearing.
However London Underground health & safety seem more keen on telling us how to use an escalator. But then most people are in need of this knowledge.
Lifestyle & Personal Development
The Feast of the Presentation of Christ in the Temple and the Purification of the Blessed Virgin, or Candlemas, is celebrated on 2nd February. It looks like another of those pagan winter light festivals reinvented by the church.
So what really is the secret of having a truly healthy city? Better go ask Copenhagen.

And now for something completely different: felines with official positions and cats with careers.
Food & Drink
Noreen and I have been taking about false food for years, now it seems that researchers have cottoned on to its pervasiveness.
Finally some real food: an ancient Greek recipe for a honey cheesecake. I must say, it’s not my taste though.

More at the end of March – which is Easter weekend.

beliefs, personal, sexuality, thoughts

How to Be a Better Spouse

For Valentine’s Day, yesterday, Scientific American posted an article entitled How to Be a Better Spouse. You can read the detail in the article, but the four headline tips are:

  1. Be nice as often as you can
  2. Think about what your partner needs, even when fighting
  3. Just notice them
  4. Ignore the bad, praise the good

Yes, well, they’re sort of obvious really. But do we do this? Well, not as much as we probably should – I certainly don’t despite 38 years married (eeeekk!!!!), although I must be doing something not too wrong.
But then do these all not amount to the old adage: Communicate, communicate, communicate?
And think on this too … Are these ideas not things we should be doing to everyone, and not just our partners? Do they not all fall under the umbrella of Treat others as you would wish them to treat you? Reductio ad adsurdum.
On the other hand we do have to have these things pointed out to us occasionally so we don’t forget them.

beliefs

Principles for Adult Behaviour

A few days ago I cam across these “principles of Adult Behaviour” from John Perry Barlow, sometime poet, essayist and lyricist for Grateful Dead. who dies this week.
Although these principles do, I believe, net down to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, they do spell things out rather clearly.

John Perry Barlow’s Principles of Adult Behaviour

  1. Be patient. No matter what.
  2. Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, never blame.
    Say nothing behind another’s back you’d be unwilling to say, in exactly the same tone and language, to his face.
  3. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
  4. Expand your sense of the possible.
  5. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
  6. Expect no more of anyone than you yourself can deliver.
  7. Tolerate ambiguity.
  8. Laugh at yourself frequently.
  9. Concern yourself with what is right rather than whom is right.
  10. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
  11. Give up blood sports.
  12. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Do not endanger it frivolously. And never endanger the life of another.
  13. Never lie to anyone for any reason.
  14. Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
  15. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
  16. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
  17. Praise at least as often as you disparage.
  18. Never let your errors pass without admission.
  19. Become less suspicious of joy.
  20. Understand humility.
  21. Forgive.
  22. Foster dignity.
  23. Live memorably.
  24. Love yourself.
  25. Endure.

Barlow goes on to say:

I don’t expect the perfect attainment of these principles. However, I post them as a standard for my conduct as an adult. Should any of my friends or colleagues catch me violating any one of them, bust me.

Which seems eminently reasonable to me, if not always easy.

beliefs, personal, pleasures, thoughts

Winter Lights

In a few days, on Twelfth Night, our Christmas decorations will be coming down. Anything which gets forgotten has to stay up until next year as it is believed to be unlucky to remove Christmas decorations after Twelfth Night.
But there’s an exception. Our lights. Which are Winter Lights, rather than Christmas Lights.
How come?


Almost all major religions have a winter light festival, mostly around the Winter Solstice (in the Northern Hemisphere) to celebrate the turn of the year and to provide light and hope in the darkness of winter.

  • In Hinduism the most important light celebration is Diwali – the victory of light over darkness – which is slightly earlier than the solstice as it normally occurs around early November. Jainism also keeps Diwali.
  • Buddhism, at least in Burma, has Tazaungmon which mostly falls in November-December.
  • Chinese New Year seems to fit I here, as it too is a light festival celebrated on the first new moon between 20 January and 21 February.
  • Islam, at least as practised in Iran, has both Jashne Sade, a mid-winter feast to honour fire and to defeat the forces of darkness, frost and cold, and Shabe Chelle, the turning point, the end of the longest night of the year and the beginning of growing of the days.
  • Judaism, of course, has Hanukkah.
  • The Roman feast of Saturnalia, with its reputation for debauchery, lasted a week and also fell around the Winter Solstice.
  • Paganism, in its various forms – either ancient Paganism or its more modern incarnation as Wicca – celebrate the Winter Solstice as Yule.
  • And of course Christianity has Christmas, which it cobbled together from Pagan Yule and Roman Saturnalia with Christian iconography as pargeting.
  • And let’s not forget St Lucia’s Day on 13 December, a light festival widely celebrated across Scandinavia and some other countries.

I’m sure there are more, but you get the point.
There are many different traditions embedded in these festivals. In fact so many that years ago we decided to create our own. Hence our Winter Lights. So when the Christmas decorations – tree, holly, cards, crib figures and so on – come down the lights remain, just as they preceded the Christmas decorations.
In fact the tradition we created was to put lights in our main windows. They go up on the Feast of Christ the King, which is the Sunday before Advent (so in late November) and stay up until Candlemas on 2 February.
Why? Well, why not? Lights cheer the place up! They add some fun, interest and maybe even some mystery. They give light to scare away the dark during the gloomiest two months of the year. And while the lights don’t banish SAD they do shine a little happiness, and let’s be honest we could all do with that at this time of year.
Yes, OK, before anyone says it, the lights do take a certain amount of energy to run. But if, like us, you standardise on LEDs then the cost and environmental impact is negligible. As an example, the set of lights plugged in by my desk are rated to use 3.6 watts of electricity; over 70 days that’s 6KwHr at a cost of about £1. So you could run four sets for the cost of a couple of coffees, or (in London) the cost of a pint of decent beer. Even my environmentally conscious brain isn’t going to worry too hard about that; maybe I’ll just drink one fewer mug of tea a week.
So if you would like to help cheer the place up, and you have lights that you could like to leave up for a while, why not join our tradition. Together we might even be able to make it into something big.

amusements, beliefs, personal

Five Questions, Series 10 #1

So here we go with the answer to the first question in Series 10 of Five Questions.

★☆☆☆☆

Question 1: What is the nature of the universe? Does it function by itself or would it degenerate into chaos without some kind of intelligent control?

As a scientist, I tell you: We haven’t got a clue; it’s being worked on although we don’t believe in intelligent control (or intelligent design).

As a (sort of) vaguely Buddhist-cum-Taoist, I tell you: No-one has a clue, nor ever will have.
As an “ordinary Joe” in the street, I tell you: Nothing the fuck to do with me, mate.
So yeah, basically, search me!

beliefs, current affairs, freedom of speech, personal, thoughts

Thoughts on #metoo

I’ve been thinking about all the recent posts. While in one way I’m not surprised, in another it is frighteningly disturbing to realise the level of abuse that we men inflict and remain totally unaware of. But from what I’ve seen (and I may be misinterpreting) I don’t think most women are saying that every man harasses them or is a sex offender.
(On the other hand, in some senses maybe we all are offenders, if only in our heads. Be honest, which of us doesn’t look at a pretty girl and think some variant of “I wonder what she’d fuck like?”. But then there is a line between thinking it and grabbing it.)
However if even 50% of women have experienced men being inappropriate (and 50% seems to be a very low estimate) then it isn’t just a tiny minority of men doing it.
We are all thoughtless and stupid towards others at times, whatever our gender and whatever the gender of the other person. (This isn’t just men on women, although that is almost certainly the vast majority or the “action”.) That’s not an excuse – there are no excuses – but a fact of life. We will never totally eradicate it, just as we can never be completely certain that our actions can ensure “X never happens again”. There will always be outliers. But we can all work hard to ensure our thoughtlessness and stupidity is reduced to an absolutely minimal level and those few outliers are all that remain.
I’m not conscious of ever having done anything wrong physically – though I will concede I probably have unknowingly. But I know that at times I have said, either verbally or in writing, and mostly without meaning to, something stupid, thoughtless or just plain badly worded. At times I’ve been called for it; at times I’ve realised myself I’ve overstepped the mark. I hope that on all such occasions I’ve apologised, learnt something, improved; and hopefully we have all been able to move on with some level of dignity restored. Even so there are a few of these occasions which still haunt me.
And for those occasions where I still don’t realise I’ve overstepped the mark, I apologise now!
Obviously as, I hope, a considerate being I would never deliberately set out to harass or abuse anyone; something I outlined in my post earlier in the year on my personal ethics and morals.
I feel sure that very often men don’t realise they’re behaving inappropriately; but I don’t buy the “that’s just because it’s the way men are” non-excuse. I suggest it’s because we’ve never been taught to be aware of such things – how can we have been when previous generations of men haven’t been aware of the problem and women have been too frightened to speak up, so no-one could teach us – and we’ve been too lazy to think about it for ourselves?
Hopefully the new, heightened, awareness can help change this, but realistically it isn’t going to happen overnight. Hopefully men can start to trust and believe what women say; they can start thinking about how they behave; and they can learn about being generally more sensitive, considerate and thoughtful human beings. Many – the more thoughtful men – will. But I do worry that the majority, who go through life relying only on their animal cave-man instincts, are just going to say “fuck off” and carry on regardless. They are going to need a lot of work by the rest of us – men and women. We all have to be brave and stand up to them, and that in itself isn’t always going to be easy – but if we’re being considerate human beings we have to try, pro bono pubico.