Category Archives: amusements

amusements, memes

Ten Things: April

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Ficticious Books from Anthony Powell’s A Dance to the Music of Time

  1. Ada Leintwardine; The Bitch Pack Meets on Wednesday
  2. David Pennistone; Descartes, Gassendi and the Atomic Theory of Epicurus
  3. Evadne Clapham; The Pistons of our Locomotives Sing the Songs of Our Workers (retitled as Engine Melody)
  4. St John Clarke; Fields of Amaranth (see right)
  5. Vernon Gainsborough; Bronstein Marxist or Mystagogue?
  6. X Trapnel; Dogs Have No Uncles
  7. Russell Gwinnett; The Gothic Symbolism of Mortality in the Texture of Jacobean Stagecraft
  8. Quentin Shuckerly; Athletes Footmen
  9. Mark Members; Kleist, Marx, Sartre, The Existential Equilibrium
  10. Revd Salathiel Brightman; Attick and Roman Reckonings of Capacity for Things Liquid and Things Dry reduced to the Common English Mensuration for Wine and Corn
amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. II.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

II. Village People

Anthony, the Squire, lives up at “The Mares”,
While Bernard, our doctor, lives at “Three Bears”.

Cathy is new here, she teaches our school,
With pretty Denise, our champion at boule.

Ed is a twin, he runs the small store,
Bro’ Fred’s been our postman for ever and more.

George is a farmer, with sheep by the score,
Which Harry the butcher will bring to your door.

Grumpy old Ivy, is ever so prim,
While John, who’s retired, keeps our gardens in trim.

Ken and his trumpet, play jazz on the beach,
In duo with Lisa, a lovely young peach.

There’s Father O’Michael, our vicar for years,
And Nick, the bookseller, who likes a few beers.

Oh, here is Oscar, he’s just three years old,
And Poppy, just sixteen, already so bold.

Quarrelsome Quentin’s, the Squire’s youngest son,
While Roger’s our baker, always up with the sun.

Big Sergeant Stan, is mine host at The Sun,
With tiny Theresa, his wife with a bun.

An enigma is Uncle, we don’t know his name,
Who lives next to Vi, a feisty old dame.

Willowy Wendy, see how she can dance!
Partnering Xavier, an import from France.

Yvonne the alto sings a good song,
And Zeb is the Blacksmith, all brawny and strong.

Piece III will appear on Tuesday 13 April.

amusements, memes

Things to Think About: April

This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:

Do twins ever realise that one of them is unplanned?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. I.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

I. Introduction and Allegro

Our Village is Ancient, it’s in Domesday you see,
We’ve Butcher and Baker and Blacksmith all three.

In summer there’s Cricket played on the Green,
A mile from the Deer Park, once owned by the Queen.

“End Cottage” is famous, it’s covered in bloom,
When Furrily Fair is held every June.

Our Church of St George dates from 1053,
While the Hall was brand new for Queen Vic’s Jubilee.

The “Ink Wells” they date from age of the quill,
But after “Jack’s Mill”, on the top of Fog Hill.

King George gave the Oak Tree in 1802,
It’s nearby the Library – managed by Lou.

“The Mares” is the Manor, the Squire’s big hutch,
There’s also the Nudists – they don’t bother us much.

Old Ozzy Gee brings fresh fish from the sea,
To sell at the Pump, where the gossip is free.

Noisy’s the Quarry that’s over by Krigg:
Stone for the “Rectory”, sprawling and big.

The Sea and the Beach are five miles away,
But here is our Teashop run by fair May.

Spooky the “Under Caves”, it’s said there are nine,
They’re under the “The Vaults” where Matilda sells wine.

We think there’s some Wiccans, but no-one’s quite sure,
Though X marks the Crossroads, with gibbet of yore.

“The Yews” are alms houses, 200 years old,
But new is the Zodiac Maze by “The Fold”.

Piece II will appear on Tuesday 6 April.

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. Preface

One sleepless night near the beginning of the year, I was playing a mental game of naming things to do with (or names of) an arbitrary subject: countries, lakes, forests, or whatever occurred. Of course this had to be an A to Z, something for each letter, and in order. Like the traditional children’s game: “A is for Aardvark, B is for Bullfrog … Z is for Zanzibar”.

This particular night I thought of “things to do with a tree” and had a mature oak tree as a guiding picture. In doing this I found myself making some of the choices a bit more descriptive – not just a jay, but a jay burying acorns. Then, over a couple of nights, some rhymes got added. This developed into a full verse of 13 rhyming couplets – a fairly droll technique, but one which worked and which wasn’t too hard in the darkness of the night when attempting to induce slumber.

A few nights later I chanced upon the village pond as a subject, and again found rhyming couplets emerging. So then I wondered if I could make a full 13 rhyming couplets: yes I could even if some were initially rather contrived.

Now remember that at this point nothing was written down, or even spoken aloud; it was all in my head. But I went on to wonder if I could construct a whole village, one set of 13 couplets at a time.

Out of this emerged about a dozen, rather ragged and very incomplete, verses on different aspects of an imaginary village. Over a period of two to three weeks I began to write this down and to refine it, discarding some verses which didn’t gel and complete, and ending with eight complete verses.

At this point, I showed Noreen who professed to like it and thought it should see the light of day. So over the next few weeks The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces will appear here, one verse at a time.

Piece Publication
I. Introduction and Allegro 30 March
II. Village People 6 April
III. The Church of St George 13 April
IV. The Village Stores 19 April
V. The Sun Inn 26 April
VI. The Duck Pond 4 May
VII. More Village People 11 May
VIII. King George’s Oak 18 May

The project may not be complete. I have some ideas for a few further verses should inspiration strike, and there is also very draft sketch map of the village. We shall see if they ever emerge fully formed.

And to think, it all started with a sleepless night and an imaginary tree.

Piece I will appear on Tuesday 30 March.

amusements, memes

Ten Things: March

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Obituary Euphemisms

  1. Convivial: Habitually drunk
  2. Gave colourful accounts of his exploits: A liar
  3. A man of simple tastes: A complete vulgarian
  4. A lively conversationalist: A crashing bore
  5. An uncompromisingly direct ladies’ man: A flasher
  6. A confirmed bachelor: Homosexual (see right)
  7. She left no close relatives: A lesbian
  8. Always had a twinkle in his eye: A drooling pervert
  9. Colourful: Criminal 
  10. Active in the community: A busy-body
amusements, memes

Things to Think About: March

This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:

If all the nations in the world are in debt, who’s got the money?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

amusements, current affairs, history, medical, science, sexuality

Monthly Links

Welcome to this month’s collection of links to items you may have missed the first time round and might want to catch up on.

Science, Technology, Natural World

The Black-Browed Babbler, known only from a 180 year old stuffed specimen, has finally been seen in Borneo.

So you always thought those little vials used for vaccines were any old glass, or even plastic? Well think again!

More on vaccines … Here’s a series of articles on Covid-19 vaccine manufacturing and distribution.
First, Derek Lowe on some myths about vaccine manufacture.
And a detailed look at some of the supply chain challenges for the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines. [TECHNICAL and VERY LONG READ]
Another item on the challenges of setting up manufacturing and distribution. [LONG READ]
Understanding the vaccine source code, or how to build a vaccine at the molecular level. [LONG READ]
Yes, these are all long, and in places rather technical, reads but worthwhile nonetheless if you want to understand just what the pharmaceutical industry has achieved in the last year.

Here’s Derek Lowe again, this time looking at drug discovery and the immune system.

Sexuality

And now to things which are a bit less intellectually demanding …

So how about a piece on the way the penis has influenced scientific research, as well as a lot else! [£££]

Or a journalist writes about her experiences of reporting on the porn industry. [LONG READ]

Social Sciences, Business, Law

The Guardian seems to have just discovered that the Queen has more power than we thought – and they’re highly indignant.

History, Archaeology, Anthropology

A 17,000 year old conch shell hs been found in a French museum – and also found to be a musical instrument.

Two reports on the supposedly dramatic discovery that some of the stones of Stonehenge were previously a stone circle in Wales – one report from BBC, the other from the Guardian. Well I must say they haven’t convinced me: it all just seems to be no more than circumstantial evidence.

Oh, no! We’re back with the penis again! Amongst many archaeological finds during the building of the A14 trunk road upgrade in Cambridgeshire, there was a rare Roman penis carving.

Meanwhile on the Isle of Man a metal-detectorist has uncovered some rare Viking jewellery.

When is a history not a history? When it’s a chronicle. Eleanor Janega explains the differences between history and chronicles, with some history along the way.

Coming almost up to date, here, in two parts, is the story of one WWII SOE Resistance agent, found in the National Archives. Part 1 and Part 2.

London

The slightly curious history of the Priory Church of the Order of St John in Clerkenwell.

Lifestyle, Personal Development, Beliefs

Researchers are suggesting that feeding our pet cats meatier meals and playing with then more will reduce their toll on wildlife. Here are two reports, from Science News and the Guardian with slightly different takes on the results.

And finally … Oh, God, we’re back with sex again! … It appears that the Jewish community have lost sight of the fact that the Purim Hamantaschen cookies look like the female pudendum. No, I didn’t know either, but then why would I?

amusements, quotes

Monthly Quotes

Actually not quite such sparse pickings as I first thought for this month’s collection of miscellaneous quotes. We’ll start with a long one, and end with a short one.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by. I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.
“What are you struggling with?”, he asked.
I gestured around me and said, “I dunno man. Life.”
Not satisfied with my answer, he said, “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”
I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial. Something more profound. But I didn’t.
So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
I felt like an idiot even saying it. What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with actual problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?
But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said, “RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”
I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.
“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express. That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon.
The next day, I took a shower lying down. A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit. There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.
Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower
standing up. I sort my laundry.
But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:
“THERE ARE NO RULES. RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!”
[Quoted by @VodkaAuntTBH, @VodkaAuntTBH]

You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
[Kathryn Paulsen, The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft, 1971]

In the early modern period (roughly 1450-1750) the creation of the universe was also thought of by some in terms of cheesemaking: “all was chaos, that is, earth, air, water, and fire were mixed together; and out of that bulk a mass formed – just as cheese is made out of milk – and worms appeared in it, and these were the angels.”
[Tabitha Stanmore, “The spellbinding history of cheese and witchcraft”, https://theconversation.com/amp/the-spellbinding-history-of-cheese-and-witchcraft-153221]

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Expertise – the wisdom based on experience that allows people to give sensible guidance about what to do and what not to do.
[Roger Kneebone in New Scientist; 6 February 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933200-300-how-to-be-an-expert-what-does-it-really-take-to-master-your-trade/ (£££)]

In medicine, there’s the mantra that a surgeon knows how to operate, a good surgeon knows when to operate and a really good surgeon knows when not to operate.
[Roger Kneebone in New Scientist; 6 February 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933200-300-how-to-be-an-expert-what-does-it-really-take-to-master-your-trade/ (£££)]

Becoming an expert has a beginning, but it doesn’t have an end … It is a continuous progression.
[Roger Kneebone in New Scientist; 6 February 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933200-300-how-to-be-an-expert-what-does-it-really-take-to-master-your-trade/ (£££)]

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.
[Mark Twain]

We have multiple backup redundant overlapping mechanisms to make sure that we eat food, because every organism in the past that didn’t do an effective job of that is no longer with us. Our ancestors were the other guys.
[Derek Lowe at In the Pipeline]

Sometimes I’m truly amazed at what humans can do. We’re all set up to just eat and reproduce and fight off a couple predators and some time goes by and we decide to go out and put self-driving cars and helicopters on a planet 200 million km away. Because we want to know things.
[Katie Mack; @AstroKatie]

I am getting tired of being part of a major historical event.