Category Archives: amusements

Auction Amusements (Part 1 of 2)

Well what can one say? There’s a simply incredible sale this week at our local auction house. The star attarctions (spread over 7 lots) seem to be …


The stock from a retired hardware dealer including …

… large quantities of National Abrasives steel wool, Mykal Pet Clean 3-in-1, Mangers Humidifier Replacement Wicks, National Abrasives yellow oxide, Mirka Sanding Discs, Orbital Sanding sheets, minirolls for hand and power sanding, ultra-tape, Thread seal tape, Rustin’s steel wool, Everbuild’s Forever White Mould Shield, Stixall Extreme Power paste, wood fillers, MP Woodfiller Light Lights, dual purpose metal sealing discs for Kilner jars, Mammoth tapes including electrical tapes and plumbing tapes, etc., Everflex external frame sealants, Everbuild Coving and joint fillers, and One-Hour chalk whites.

… large quantities of unused Prostar Impact Masonry Drill, HSS Jobber drill parts, a laminate cutter, ground spreaders, locks and door fittings, garden hook set, watch straps, screw-drivers, tile files, plug sockets, bradawls, hammers, Stanley knives, brush ends, cutters, goggles, tape measures, clamps, floorboard chisels, chisels, spanners, hacksaw blades, monkey wrenches, wire brushes, trowels, hasp and staples, plasterer’s hawks, silicone dispensers.

… three Hyatt Money Note Checkers, a Jumbo Calculator, roller cleaners, wood working planes, a nine-piece German style knife set, Beat a burst The Plumber in the Toolbox tool, a box of Pop Rivet tool CK2, wood bits, chair webbing, smoke alarm, some die cast models of days gone by, etc.

… a quantity of balls of strings, stockinette polishing and wiping cloth, brackets, hard hats, sponges, roller frames, paint brushes, window locks, Rapid epoxy syringes, Timber OBO timber connectors, barrel bolts, staples, fasteners, blades, Westco mini oil canisters, waste plugs, rod sockets, scissors, line pin sets, etc.

… Bright Power pocket torches, Basta ‘The neat bright lights’, door numbers, hinges, cupboard catches, Legg cylinder night latch and other door locks, Regalead self adhesive window lead, Homelux adhesive bonder, electric Wolf switches, wooden doorknobs, gardening gloves, working gloves, steel wool, masking tape, builder’s polythene sheeting, letterbox, draft excluders, etc.

… spare shelf locator packs, self-adhesive lead strip by Decra-Led, Regalead self-adhesive window lead, Mammoth Powerful double sided tape, Ultratape waterproof tape, Mr Cozy self-stick draft excluder, Quick Grip draft excluder, weather strips, Sylglas Aluminium waterproofing tape, 502 Wood adhesive, Everbuild: Mitre Fast, PVC Cream cleaner, Multispray, Instant nails, Wonder wipes, Moss & Mould remover, Extreme frame sealant, Sugar soap powder, Paint and Varnish stripper, Blackjack waterproof protection everlasting tape, All-Purpose Powder filler; gas tape, HG window cleaner, Forever White mould protector, Holt’s De-Icer, Rustin’s Linseed oil, Everflex 125 one-hour Caulk, 151 Wallpaper stripper, Mammoth gaffer tape, silicone fusing repair tape, One Strike filler, tile-edge trim, drawer draft excluders, brass door stops, etc.

… 7 mm drill screws, cantilever shelf brackets, keys, door hooks, light fittings, rechargeable batteries, bulbs, cable locks, masking tape, Everbuild: Wood adhesive, Roof and Gutter sealant, Silicon spray, Instant Nails, Damp & Mould Remover, Sugar Soap Liquid Spray, Premium Excellerator & Frost Proofer; Rustin’s Strypit, graffiti remover, all-weather tape, Rustin’s Danish oil, Pink grip by Everbuild, Polycell polyfiller, 502 Wood adhesive, English Abrasive Supersander, brown plugs, lots of different paints including Dulux Trade Undercoat, Norver Exterior Masonry Paint and Rustin’s Step & Tile Paint, Dulux Trade Satinwood, Dulux Trade Eggshell finish, tile adhesives by Everbuild and Homecare, Rustin’s Brilliant White Gloss.


And there’s more in Part 2 >>>>>>>>

Ten Things: October

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Organisations I Invented

  1. Badger and the Road Kill; third rate 70s rock group
  2. Beaver & Dyke; pub
  3. Blunder & Bust; accountants to the impoverished
  4. Forced Rhubarb; female barbershop singers
  5. Gortmore Mews; merchant bank
  6. Interbap; Russian state bakers
  7. Kidney, Scrotum & Codd; debt collectors
  8. Snottwright & Wedge; builders
  9. Virgins in Paradise; Islamic girl band (right)
  10. Wackford Squeers and the Cheeryble Brothers; gothic Motown rock band

Auction Amusements

We’ve not had a collection of amusements from our local auction house for quite a while. That’s partly because the auctions haven’t been that interesting. That’s not too surprising as a lot of what they do is house clearance, which is going to be variable but also goes some way to explain the strange combinations of things which are used to make a lot. Anyway here are some of the highlights from the last three auctions: strange combinations, odd things to sell, or just poorly phrased descriptions.


A mixed lot including a pair of vintage ice-skates, a vintage wooden bat, small glass animal ornaments, three cameras including Kodak Instamatic 133X, an Agfamatic, shell model of a fox, a pair of Rand No. 1 opera binoculars in box, artist materials, Liverpool Road pottery dishes, Wade animals etc.


A vintage parking meter on pole No. 3447.


A vintage wooden boxed His Master’s Voice Valve Radio and a vintage Ransome’s Lawnmower.


A Dollmore fully ball-jointed male ‘Theo’ doll sculpted by Gu mi-jeong, with blue glass eyes and accessories including wigs, eyes in other colours, shoes, stand and sailor suit.


A 1929 Morris Cowley Flatnose saloon, registration KX 3053, for full restoration. This vehicle comes with a replacement engine, part-fitted, the original engine, and many other parts.


A typed letter from Ronald Reagan dated September 25 1980 thanking Mr Taylor for support with faded signature, mounted and framed, and a framed commission from George III to Captain Andrew Ross Esq. signed by Henry Dundas, framed.


Thirteen brass blow lamps including one petrol.


A vintage Slazenger croquet set in pine box, an earthenware crock and Panasonic Music Centre.


Two Civil Defence Geiger counters.


An adjustable reading light, a builder’s platform, a Black & Decker leaf blower.


An alabaster table lamp and stacking wine storage racks and an extending aluminium ladder.


A fine quality model of the Cutty Sark, 1868, in a glazed display cabinet.


A very large lot of mixed items including table lamps, a quantity of silver-plate including one silver golfing spoon, cocktail shaker, knife rests, cutlery, an Olympiette Special cased typewriter, a small quantity of pretty costume jewellery in two jewellery boxes, china tea services including Royal Doulton ‘Hilltop’; glassware: glasses, light bulbs; stationery, wicker storage baskets, wools and threads, vintage crochet hooks, embroidery stands, cashbox, wooden trays, a wicker clothes basket and a wicker wine rack and a vintage floor light, a real mixed lot.


A mixed lot including a Sony S Master micro hifi system CMT-G1B1P with speakers, a Samsung speaker, a quantity of electrical accessories including a digital thermometer, telephone cups, a Braun diffuser hairdryer, alarm clock radios, two cameras, two ladders etc.


A large mixed lot including a large quantity of cleaning materials and cloths, such as Flash, W5 degreaser, Mr Muscle etc., a large black and white meat plate, a print of a horse, stainless steel dinner wares, two black ceiling spotlights, a cuckoo clock etc.


Three vintage milk churns, an old petrol can, a large oak frame and a bag containing decoy pigeons with stands.


A mixed lot including food bags, foil, a wall tall organiser, sealants, slug pellets, vintage wood working planes, shoe polishes, etc.


A vintage circa 1965 Honda 50 scooter with original paint work and vintage helmet registration number DYY 376C
[Since when did helmets have to be registered?]


An impressive standard lamp with modern shade, probably Doulton though unmarked, on bronze stand with three hairy feet supports and classical column support.


Approximately 175 petrol lighters of various makes including approximately 20 lift-arm lighters, approximately 28 Ronson Varaflame gas lighters and 13 table lighters on ribbed bases, and 70 other lighters, many gas and 15 trench art lighters. (NB numbers are approximate and the lighters have not been checked for condition or originality)


An Hermes Plisse pleated scarf in Grand Fonds design in bright jewel colours, with original box.



Things to Think About: October

This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:

Many animals probably need glasses, but they don’t know it and neither do we.

Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

Ten Things: September

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Real Modern People I’ve Encountered Somewhere Along the Way

  1. Fanny Hyman
  2. Simone Kuhnt
  3. Neil B Waspe
  4. Ripple Man
  5. Umar Butt
  6. Jimmy Riddle
  7. Lovelet Simms
  8. Cock M van der Ploeg
  9. Koos Quak
  10. Ruth Bint

Things to Think About: September

This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:

If poison is past its expiry date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments.