Category Archives: amusements

Ten Things: December

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Odd Names from My Family History
(direct relationship where known)

  1. John Crotehole (my 12th great-grandfather)
  2. Thomas Cuckow
  3. Brothers Absalom, Israel & Jabez Hicks, and their grandfather Farclay Hicks (Jabez Hicks was my great-great-grandfather, and Farclay my 4th great-grandfather)
  4. Spicer Marshall
  5. Turner Marshall
  6. Emma Mouser
  7. Langman Murfet (my 6th great-grandfather)
  8. Willson Gates Nowers (my 3rd great-uncle; right)
  9. Marrianna Odeyarne (my 9th great-grandmother)
  10. Philip Wildboar

Ten Things: November

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Strange Ancient Jobs

  1. Nob Thatcher
  2. Bum Bailiff
  3. Fear-Naught Maker
  4. Fish Fag
  5. Gerund Grinder
  6. Gong Farmer
  7. Philosophical Instrument Maker (right)
  8. Prick Louise
  9. Rack Maiden
  10. Vaginarius

Auction Amusements (Part 2 of 2)

In this part of the latest amusements from our local auction house we return to the more usual eccentricities of strange objects for sale, things you wouldn’t want to share a house with (and a few you would), and peculiar juxtapositions to make a lot.


An interesting lot including a pair of cut-throat razors in original leather-covered case stamped Fielder & Son, Southsea, a boxwood and brass-folding rule by L.H. Turtle Ltd., Toolmakers, Croydon, an old fishing reel by A. Carter & Co., South Molton, a table lighter fashioned as a world globe and a small embossed brass sign advising poachers that they shall be shot on sight and if practicable questioned afterwards, and a Bakelite ashtray and playing card box.


A set of sugar nips styled as a spur, a silver stamp box, Birmingham 1874, the lid incorporating a One Penny Magenta stamp and a silver caddy spoon, Glasgow 1930, embossed with Old Mother Hubbard.


A collection of martial art show display weaponry including axes, a pair chrome Sai’s, fantasy display weaponry, a papier mache wall face mask etc.


A metal statue of Lenin, a Wedgwood Peter Rabbit child’s breakfast bowl and wooden auctioneers gavel


A square tile by Gofer Israel and a smaller rectangular tile by the same artist


A promotional plastic life-size model of a London telephone box


A Victorian skeleton mantel timepiece in brass, with passing strike on a bell, ebonised base, 15 in high overall


An old roe deer head with impressive antlers


A bronze after Edwin Scharff, of a man on a swordfish, numbered 561/600, weathered dark brown patination, on wood base, 9.5 in high


Contemporary art: a Murano glass sculpture by Berengo, as a block of clear glass enclosing a gold leaf face, 32 cm high


A Steiff white label mohair teddy bear ‘Black Jack’, 26 cm, with box


Auction Amusements (Part 1 of 2)

Well what can one say? There’s a simply incredible sale this week at our local auction house. The star attarctions (spread over 7 lots) seem to be …


The stock from a retired hardware dealer including …

… large quantities of National Abrasives steel wool, Mykal Pet Clean 3-in-1, Mangers Humidifier Replacement Wicks, National Abrasives yellow oxide, Mirka Sanding Discs, Orbital Sanding sheets, minirolls for hand and power sanding, ultra-tape, Thread seal tape, Rustin’s steel wool, Everbuild’s Forever White Mould Shield, Stixall Extreme Power paste, wood fillers, MP Woodfiller Light Lights, dual purpose metal sealing discs for Kilner jars, Mammoth tapes including electrical tapes and plumbing tapes, etc., Everflex external frame sealants, Everbuild Coving and joint fillers, and One-Hour chalk whites.

… large quantities of unused Prostar Impact Masonry Drill, HSS Jobber drill parts, a laminate cutter, ground spreaders, locks and door fittings, garden hook set, watch straps, screw-drivers, tile files, plug sockets, bradawls, hammers, Stanley knives, brush ends, cutters, goggles, tape measures, clamps, floorboard chisels, chisels, spanners, hacksaw blades, monkey wrenches, wire brushes, trowels, hasp and staples, plasterer’s hawks, silicone dispensers.

… three Hyatt Money Note Checkers, a Jumbo Calculator, roller cleaners, wood working planes, a nine-piece German style knife set, Beat a burst The Plumber in the Toolbox tool, a box of Pop Rivet tool CK2, wood bits, chair webbing, smoke alarm, some die cast models of days gone by, etc.

… a quantity of balls of strings, stockinette polishing and wiping cloth, brackets, hard hats, sponges, roller frames, paint brushes, window locks, Rapid epoxy syringes, Timber OBO timber connectors, barrel bolts, staples, fasteners, blades, Westco mini oil canisters, waste plugs, rod sockets, scissors, line pin sets, etc.

… Bright Power pocket torches, Basta ‘The neat bright lights’, door numbers, hinges, cupboard catches, Legg cylinder night latch and other door locks, Regalead self adhesive window lead, Homelux adhesive bonder, electric Wolf switches, wooden doorknobs, gardening gloves, working gloves, steel wool, masking tape, builder’s polythene sheeting, letterbox, draft excluders, etc.

… spare shelf locator packs, self-adhesive lead strip by Decra-Led, Regalead self-adhesive window lead, Mammoth Powerful double sided tape, Ultratape waterproof tape, Mr Cozy self-stick draft excluder, Quick Grip draft excluder, weather strips, Sylglas Aluminium waterproofing tape, 502 Wood adhesive, Everbuild: Mitre Fast, PVC Cream cleaner, Multispray, Instant nails, Wonder wipes, Moss & Mould remover, Extreme frame sealant, Sugar soap powder, Paint and Varnish stripper, Blackjack waterproof protection everlasting tape, All-Purpose Powder filler; gas tape, HG window cleaner, Forever White mould protector, Holt’s De-Icer, Rustin’s Linseed oil, Everflex 125 one-hour Caulk, 151 Wallpaper stripper, Mammoth gaffer tape, silicone fusing repair tape, One Strike filler, tile-edge trim, drawer draft excluders, brass door stops, etc.

… 7 mm drill screws, cantilever shelf brackets, keys, door hooks, light fittings, rechargeable batteries, bulbs, cable locks, masking tape, Everbuild: Wood adhesive, Roof and Gutter sealant, Silicon spray, Instant Nails, Damp & Mould Remover, Sugar Soap Liquid Spray, Premium Excellerator & Frost Proofer; Rustin’s Strypit, graffiti remover, all-weather tape, Rustin’s Danish oil, Pink grip by Everbuild, Polycell polyfiller, 502 Wood adhesive, English Abrasive Supersander, brown plugs, lots of different paints including Dulux Trade Undercoat, Norver Exterior Masonry Paint and Rustin’s Step & Tile Paint, Dulux Trade Satinwood, Dulux Trade Eggshell finish, tile adhesives by Everbuild and Homecare, Rustin’s Brilliant White Gloss.


And there’s more in Part 2 >>>>>>>>

Ten Things: October

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Organisations I Invented

  1. Badger and the Road Kill; third rate 70s rock group
  2. Beaver & Dyke; pub
  3. Blunder & Bust; accountants to the impoverished
  4. Forced Rhubarb; female barbershop singers
  5. Gortmore Mews; merchant bank
  6. Interbap; Russian state bakers
  7. Kidney, Scrotum & Codd; debt collectors
  8. Snottwright & Wedge; builders
  9. Virgins in Paradise; Islamic girl band (right)
  10. Wackford Squeers and the Cheeryble Brothers; gothic Motown rock band