This week’s cartoon is for all my former colleagues!
All posts by Keith
Quote: Mistakes
You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
[Groucho Marx]
Oddity of the Week
Rocky Mountain Oysters: bull or ram testicles boiled then sliced into ovals and fried. The oysters are served with a spicy sauce. Other euphemisms include barnyard jewels, cowboy caviar, fry, swinging beef and Montana tendergroin. Clifton in Montana holds an annual Testicle Festival, serving up over 2 tons of bull’s balls to 15,000 visitors. In France testicles are served as animelles, while in Greece kokoretsi is a stew involving a variety of offal, including testicles.
From: Ian Crofton; Brewer’s Cabinet of Curiosities
Buggered Britain #23
Another in my occasional series documenting some of the underbelly of Britain. Britain which we wouldn’t like visitors to see and which we wish wasn’t there. The trash, abused, decaying, destitute and otherwise buggered parts of our environment. Those parts which symbolise the current economic malaise; parts which, were the country flourishing, wouldn’t be there, would be better cared for, or made less inconvenient.
This is the walkway to the offices of one of our local solicitors! (Yes I was sitting in the safety of the car.)

Autumn Auction Oddities
We bring you another right royal selection of oddities from the catalogues of our local auction house. Their last sale wasn’t interesting enough to make a post on its own but the current sale has well and truly made up for it. As so often it is not just the strange things people (try to) sell but the variety of old toot that gets put together as a lot. Here are the highlights(!!) of the two sales.
Some cigars, a bottle of absinthe and a boxing photograph of Jack Bloomfield against Bombadier Billy Wells, and a book on absinthe, etc.
Two small oak lecterns and a book on Jerusalem — The Saga of a Holy City, limited edition with hand coloured plates.
A tooled brass powder flask by J.W. Hawksley, a pair of 19th century andirons and a 19th century chamberstick with naïve decoration.
A large African storage bucket covered in animal hide
A large Oriental chrysanthemum decorated figure of a rabbit …
Two old gaucho spurs
A Teletubbies lot, incl. 5 unused Teletubbies in original packaging, plus a boxed one, Teletubbies posable figures (smaller), a Teletubbies giant Tiddleywinks, a beach ball and a video
A large collection of ladies tights including fishnets …
Various Roman pottery and fossils in two boxes, a rolled-up ‘Scotland of Old’, a collection of posters including Howe Bicycles, tricycles, a Few Translations of the 13th Century, La Dame aux Camelias, etc.
A box containing 125 small boxes, each containing two magnetic bracelets including freshwater pearls.
A framed, signed and sealed manuscript for the United Ancient Order of Druids.
Two shelves of decorative china and brassware, including table lamps, trays, vases, candlesticks, animal figurines, goblets, eggcups, etc., a large copper kettle and tray, silver plated comport, a blue 1980s Metropolis telephone, a quantity of decorative tins, a set of Le Jockey Club, Paris binoculars, a small quantity of planters, a figurine of a horse, a Holy Bible and Book of Common Prayer, onyx table lamps, a glass milk bottle, a Heald Ltd Foodbank Farm, Didsbury, and another similar, a barometer, lacquer box and cover, an old miner’s lamp, tea caddy with mother-of-pearl cartouche, a military Burroughs tin box.
An old brass Valor fire extinguisher, a Trio TS530S HF transceiver, a large green and clear glass outside lantern, a stoneware hot water bottle by The Old Fulham Pottery, a large jasper ware cheese dome and cover, a pair of modern silver plate and leather table lamp bases, a Mackintosh style butterfly table lamp, etc.
Two pokerwork boxes, one decorated with cherries, a pair of German cases binoculars, 8×22, Kodak Retinette 1A camera, a PD15 camera, Bakelite flash, three brass candlesticks and a small quantity of silver plate including candlestick and bowl, Art Deco figurine of a fawn, plus other animal ornaments including birds, zebra and monkeys, a quantity of silver plated cutlery and a handmade interesting figure of an elderly couple sitting in their drawing room made by Magda Watts.
Interesting items incl. an Agfamatic 1A cased camera, a Comet 2 cased camera, and a boxed Brownie, approx. 8 African figural wooden carvings, a Murano green glass decanter with gilt and floral decoration and 6 matching wine glasses, stoneware mug set, etc.
A pewter tea and coffee set on matching tray, an old leather suitcase and green lady’s hat by Della
An old knobkerry, slightly curved, a carved African throwing spear and twisted walking stick, and a shooting stick
A percussion cap musket with ramrod and a Second World War papier-mâché helmet
An Oriental boxwood walking stick, well carved with rats on a length of bamboo, with hidden compartment
A box of various door locks, handles, fittings, etc., three cartons of old tools including moulding planes, a fire, and two cartons of Kilner jars and jam jars.
A mixed lot to include Royal Doulton Morning Star chinaware, treen, old Christmas decorations, stationery, old tins, metal ware, cutlery, old phones, etc.
Seven various leaded windows.
But the pièce de résistance has to be …
A purple porcelain sink and toilet, a blue and white decorative sink and a concrete garden urn.
However these sales were stuffed (and I use the word advisedly) with taxidermy and similar …
A cased set of mounted butterflies incl. the Jay and Lime butterfly [plus lots of other toot]
A quantity of dik dik horns, claws, etc.
Three items of taxidermy: a bird of prey in a good mahogany and glazed case, a show pigeon, again in a glazed display case and a stoat.
A taxidermy stag head, and further horns and heart-shaped mahogany mounting board
A small quantity of taxidermy including a pheasant, jay and one further small bird.
A small quantity of taxidermy including a mounted deer head, another mounted doe and mounted jackals.
A stuffed gannet on a rock, in glazed case
A quantity of taxidermy items incl. a wooden glazed case with a trio of squirrels and a bird, a mounted crocodile’s head, a fox’s head, stag head, and a humming bird
And again we leave the pièce de résistance to the last …
Caught by the vendor in an exotic location, this Hammerhead shark has a manmade skeleton covered in the original skin that was preserved in Formaldehyde prior to being carefully stretched over the bones.
As Kenny Everett would have said “All in the best possible taste”!
Weekly Photograph
This week’s photograph is one I took earlier in the summer. One? Well no actually it is four images because this is a montage of some excellent mosses growing on the top of a headstone at Churchill, Oxfordshire (just outside Chipping Norton) and from where I have ancestors in the 18th century.

Mossy Grave Montage
Churchill, Oxfordshire; May 2014
Yes, for the eagle-eyed amongst you, I know the images don’t quite align — they weren’t taken with the idea of aligning them in a montage — I felt the individual images didn’t really stand alone but were too good to waste! Nothing wrong with that; it’s only one step removed from David Hockney’s joiners.
Word: Nugatory
Nugatory
1. Trifling, of no value or importance, worthless.
2. Of no force, invalid; useless, futile, of no avail, inoperative.
From the Latin nūgātōrius, past participle stem of nūgārī, to trifle. The word was first used in 1603 in a translation of Plutarch. Perhaps slightly surprisingly the word appears to have no connexion to nougat.
Your Interesting Links
Another selection of amusing, and even interesting, articles you may have missed …
It’s that time of year when the IgNobel prizes — for research that makes you laugh and then think — are awarded. This year the recipients included research on the slipperiness of banana skins and …
… this mind-boggling report on controlling nose-bleeds with tampons of bacon.
Equally topically here’s a piece on the chemicals behind the colours of autumn leaves.

And while we’re on colours, it seems we’re all striped, with Blaschko’s Lines, it’s just that they only show in some rare medical conditions. It looks to me as if they may also be related to birth-marks.
Prof. Alice Roberts has a new book out: The Incredible Unlikeliness of Being; a masterful account of why our bodies are the way they are. Here’s a review by Adam Rutherford in the Guardian and here’s my review.
So you think you know where babies come from? Here’s Alice Roberts herself on the way in which our understanding of the making of babies has developed since Aristotle.
Recent research is suggesting that modern European genetic codes are made up from those of three ancient “tribes” which intermingled a bit less than 7000 years ago.
Just for a little more variety, Mick Jagger has had the 19-million-year-old species of extinct water nymph Jaggermeryx naida — Jagger’s water nymph — named after him. Apparently it is long legged and has a “highly innervated muzzle with mobile and tactile lips”.
Rewilding Britain: bringing wolves, bears and beavers back to the land. Should we? Or shouldn’t we?
So Jack the Ripper has been identified as Aaron Kosminski using DNA analysis. Or has he? Ted Scheinman isn’t convinced, and neither am I. This is research which needs to be peer reviewed and published in the scientific literature.
Next up a piece by Maryn McKenna in praise of her anonymous kitchen knife.
Paperclips! Love them or loathe them, they’re here to stay. The stories behind five everyday items of office stationery.
And finally from the annals of “what were they thinking?” we give you the Columbian Women’s Cycling team …

Quotes
Another selection of recently encountered quotes to make you think or smile. So to get us off on just the right note …
Beloved, we join hands here to pray for gin. An aridity defiles us. Our innards thirst for the juice of juniper. Something must be done. The drought threatens to destroy us.
[Wallace Thurman, writing in Infants of Spring]
One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.
[James Thurber]
I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.
[unknown]
Stories never really end … even if the book likes to pretend they do. Stories always go on.
[Cornelia Funke, Inkspell]
When we love people so, we love them for what they are, not for what we wish they were.
[Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina]
Sometimes the best way to find out what you’re supposed to do is by doing the thing you’re not supposed to do.
[Gayle Forman, Just One Day]
By means of ever more effective methods of mind-manipulation, the democracies will change their nature; the quaint old forms — elections, parliaments, Supreme Courts and all the rest — will remain. The underlying substance will be a new kind of totalitarianism. All the traditional names, all the hallowed slogans will remain exactly what they were in the good old days. Democracy and freedom will be the theme of every broadcast and editorial. Meanwhile the ruling oligarchy and its highly trained elite of soldiers, policemen, thought-manufacturers and mind-manipulators will quietly run the show as they see fit.
[Aldous Huxley]
Telling people not to shag until they’re married is like telling them not to play tennis until they’re in the Wimbledon final.
[Girl on the Net]
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
[Mae West]
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
[Groucho Marx]
I have always imagined that Paradise will be kind of a library.
[Jorge Luis Borges]
People have to talk about something just to keep their voiceboxes in working order so they’ll have good voiceboxes in case there’s ever anything really meaningful to say.
[Kurt Vonnegut]
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with the mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there’s nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fibre, and in some cases, backbone.
[Terry Pratchett]
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
[AA Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh]
Independent or Not?
On the back of Scotland’s decision not to become an independent country, it occurs to me to ask …
How many “countries” (states, provinces, or whatever you want to call them) have ever voted in a free and fair election NOT to take independence from their “imperial masters”?
The only other which comes to mind is Quebec in 1980 and 1995. Are there any others since (say) 1800? One hears of so few that it seems to me that if independent sovereignty is sought, it is almost always attained.