All human beings, not a favoured few, have an equal claim to happiness.
[Hector Hawton]
The Village. VII.
The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces
VII. More Village People
First there is Alice, whose surname is King,
her husband is Bert, who can mend any thing.
Clive is the one who tends to our hair,
He’s living with Dana, exceedingly fair.
Starchy is Ellie, she’s really a prude,
While Fanny relaxes, sunbathing nude.
Gary and Greg live as husband and wife,
And then there is Hannah, the vicar’s young wife.
There’s Arthur’s girl, Izzy, living alone,
With twins Jane and Jemima, father unknown.
Here is Nurse Karen, who tends to our ails,
And lazy old Leslie, who lodges at Gail’s.
We all love Matilda, a Master of Wine,
But no-one likes Norman, a breeder of swine.
There goes Orlena, who lives by her snatch,
While Pete the Policeman watches our patch.
Quaintly old Queenie lives down The Streete,
And Robin the farmer, grows barley and wheat.
Susy the sculptor carves objects in wood,
Her Toby’s a terror, mostly up to no good.
Doctor Umberto’s an expert on soils,
He lives next to Vikki, a painter in oils.
Old Walter’s a wonder, he’s still mending clocks,
Next to Miss Xandra, a stitcher of frocks.
Yanko is ancient – he came in the war,
and lastly there’s Zoe, our expert on law.
Piece VIII will appear on Tuesday 18 May.
Ten Things: May
This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …
Ten Oddly Named Animals
- Alston’s Singing Mouse
- Annamite Striped Rabbit
- Jackson’s Climbing Salamander
- Malabar Whistling Thrush
- Penis Snake
- West Indian Whistling Duck (right)
- Zigzag Elm Sawfly
- Screaming Hairy Armadillo
- Raspberry Crazy Ant
- Striped Pyjama Squid
The Village. VI.
The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces
VI. The Duck Pond
Andy the Angler, is trying his luck,
While bumble-y Bees, at the flowers they suck.
Cunning the Carp – a fish cannot drown,
Unlike the Ducks, all dabbling down.
There is Old Eb, who sits on the bench,
He’s watching the Fox, just seen jumping the fence.
There’s gaggles of Geese, they’re just flying sheep,
And then there’s old Heron, who’s off with a leap.
Winter brings Ice – see the skating is free,
Surprising the Jogger who stops for a pee.
Look! – a Kingfisher – just flashes of blue,
Zips past the Log we use as a pew.
Merry the Mermaid, we never have seen,
But here is a Newt – this one’s called Jean!
O are the ripples caused by a rock,
Thrown by the Parson, ignoring his flock.
A Quern Stone has made a step at the edge
Of the tall Rushes right next to the hedge.
A babbling Stream, with its water so clean,
Houses the Toad, all swarthy and green.
Running, the Urchin’s evading his Mum,
Ignoring a Vandal, fly-tipping – the scum!
Wet was the Witch they once ducked in the pond,
But saucy young Xena swims the millpond.
Yo, there’s a Yob, forever a pest,
To even the Zephyr which blows from the west.
Piece VII will appear on Tuesday 11 May.
Ever Given
I’ve been reading these two items (and a few others) on the situation of the Ever Given, the giant boat what got itself wedged sideways in the Suez Canal a few weeks ago.
Ever Given in a Nutshell
Ever Given – What Happens Now?
The position seems to be a Byzantine minefield of convoluted international law, contract law and insurance. At least that’s how I read the two articles, viz:
The cause of the problem is still under investigation. Was the ship exceeding the speed limit? Was there mechanical failure? Was there human error? How much of a factor was the weather? Someone will likely be able to work this out as the ship carries an equivalent of an aircraft’s “black box”.
The ship, having been re-floated, was safety checked at anchor in the Great Bitter Lake. It was found to be sound and passed to continue up the Canal to Port Said at the northern end for further checks, before being cleared (or not) to continue to it’s destination in Rotterdam.
However the Ever Given is still at anchor in the great Bitter Lake and cannot move as it has been arrested by the Suez Canal Authority (SCA, an Egyptian government agency) pending settlement of the SCA’s claim for $916million in compensation (including $300million as salvage bonus, and $300million for loss of reputation).
But who pays what is, to say the least, complex as:
- The hull is owned by Japan based Shoei Kisen Kaisha, and insured in Japan.
- The ship is registered in Panama.
- It is leased and operated by Taiwan based Evergreen Marine Corp, who will own much of the ship’s “fixtures and fittings”.
- It is managed by German based Bernard Schulte.
- Protection & Indemnity (P&I) insurance is by UK based UK P&I Club.
- The Ever Given is crewed by 25 Indian seafarers.
- It is apparently 85% loaded with around 18,000 containers of multifarious goods, owned by we know not who, on route from the Far East to half the western world.
- At the time of the accident the ship was being piloted by SCA pilots, who are ipso facto defined as part of the ship’s crew.
The P&I insurers have failed to agree a compensation payment with the SCA and the ship’s owners have reputedly filed an appeal in the Egyptian courts against the ship’s arrest on the grounds that the SCA’s claim is excessive. This is scheduled to be heard tomorrow, 4 May 2021.
Meanwhile the crew (who are apparently being fully paid) are apparently free to leave the ship, and to be replaced, providing there are always sufficient crew to maintain the ship’s safety. Only the ship’s Master cannot leave as he is the ship’s legal guardian.
The estimated value of the vessel and the property on board is:
- Vessel: Approx. $125million
- Cargo: Approx. $500-$600million (and maybe more)
- Containers: Approx. $30million
A total of $655-£755million and perhaps more; but likely less than the SCA’s compensation claim.
However it is reported that while the SCA can arrest the ship, it cannot legally arrest the cargo. But without the ship the cargo is going nowhere. Consequently it has been suggested that the cargo owners could launch a class action (but in which court?) to get the cargo released. But even if they did that, and the legal challenge succeeded, the ship cannot be unloaded: neither in situ nor at any port along the Suez Canal as none have the infrastructure to handle such a massive ship.
Even if it could be unloaded, and the containers transferred to other vessels for onward movement, this would be time consuming and very expensive – for which presumably the cargo owners would have to pay (unless they managed to claim the cost as compensation or against their insurance).
All that is without even thinking about the consequential losses and delays to other ships, some of which will have opted to go the long way round via the Cape of Good Hope, and others who sat it out in the traffic jam. Either way they’re incurring extra expense and delay to their cargoes.
That, my friends is the very simplified version of the simplified version. While it makes for interesting reading (I’m sad like that!) it makes me very glad I’m neither a lawyer nor an insurer!
Things to Think About: May
This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:
If you replace “W” with “T” in “What”, “Where”, “When”, you get the answer to each of them.
Please leave your thoughts in the comments.
Horrible Times 21: Lockdown 400
Today, Friday 30 April 2021, is our 400th day of Covid-19 Lockdown. And not a lot has changed since my last report on day 365.
- In 400 days I’ve been off the premises just seven times: three to the dentist (one just to have some paperwork signed), for a flu jab, twice for vaccination, and one for blood tests. It really has been all the fun of the fair!
- Noreen and I have now had both our injections of the Pfizer vaccine. Noreen went again to the Town Hall, whereas I went to the centre in deepest Southall. My experience was that this was not as well run as the Town Hall, and I seemed to spend most of the time moving from one queue to the next. Even so I was in and out in about 30 minutes. And Southall itself was grid-locked (well it was some Sikh holy day) and still the same dump that it always was. We now just await out booster in the autumn.
- In less good news, I’ve had a really annoying bladder infection (I know, TMI already!). Yet again I’ve been impressed with our GPs’ being able to work with patients over the phone rather than face-to-face. This infection has resulted in two rounds of antibiotics (turns out the nasty little organism was resistant to the first antibiotic I was given), three rounds of urine tests and a visit to Ealing Hospital for an armful of blood tests (most of which were overdue for my annual diabetic check-up anyway). Amazingly most of the blood tests turned out to be OK.
Ealing Hospital is the same appalling place it always was: a dismal ’70s concrete bunker which was never fit for purpose; badly signposted; and apparently staffed by the downtrodden. I hate the place and avoid it if at all possible; I just hope I never have to be treated there for anything serious. - Along the way I’ve also has two (different) Covid tests; both for research studies I’m signed up to. Luckily both were negative. Noreen has done one as well.
- In good news the days are lighter, brighter and with longer daylight and the fruit trees and lilac are in flower. We’ve even had some warm sunshine, although it is still rather chilly unless the sun is out. The downside of this is that we’ve again suffered the daftness of changing the clocks. The garden was looking very ragged, but is coming under control now our friend Tom is allowed entry again and has done after several days work – although nothing much has been pruned over the winter.
- Meanwhile the country continues to go to Hell in a handcart as our increasingly despicable government lies its way from one pathetic charade to the next. They keep getting caught out lying but seem not to care when any self-respecting government would have resigned long since and been banished.
Who knows what happens next?
I suspect the government will continue to ease the restrictions (regardless of the data) and I fear we’ll see a further spike in Covid cases over the summer and/or autumn when the great unwashed return from Costa Plenti. I can’t see us being clear of social distancing and mask-wearing this year. And we might even have another Christmas in lockdown – although I sincerely hope we don’t.
One tries to remain optimistic and cheerful through all the gloom, but as my father would have said “it’s hard to be optimistic with a misty optic”!
Monthly Links
It’s again time for our monthly round up of links to items you may have missed. And there’s a lot in this month’s offering, so let’s get in …
Science, Technology, Natural World
Matter is complex, but that complexity has given rise to the good and the bad of nuclear physics. [LONG READ}
The secret of a rat’s sense of touch is all to do with the whiskers.
It seems a surprising number of sea monster sightings are actually whale boners.
Health, Medicine
A new understanding of how our ancient immune system works could help fight future pandemics. [£££]
On the strange cases of healthy children who won’t wake up.
Why are so many women ill-prepared for perimenopause? And how they needn’t be. [LONG READ]
Sexuality
As a special treat this month we have a collection of articles on medieval sex (and how it relates to our modern ideas) from our favourite medieval historian, Dr Eleanor Janega of Going Medieval …
On dildos and penance
On women having sex with themselves
Back in the day cuckolding wasn’t just a thing, it was a thing thast was bound to happen (for the rich, at least). [LONG READ]
On sexualising the “other”, ie. anything except cis white men!
On the medieval acceptance of sex work and the fallacy of “rescuing” sex workers.
Environment
The cherry blossom in Kyoto is earlier this year than ever previously recorded, and the trend over the last 100 years is for earlier and earlier dates.
Without the asteroid which wiped out the dinosaurs, we likely wouldn’t have the Amazon rainforest.
History, Archaeology, Anthropology
A slab of rock, engraved in the Bronze Age, is thought to be the oldest 3D map in Europe.
On the Ancient Egyptians and belief in the after-life.
Archaeologists have uncovered an important Roman site in Scarborough.
We’re going back to Going Medieval for the next two items …
On canonical hours, comfort, and daylight saving time.
On the commemoration of royal death.
Medlars were popular fruit in medieval times, but have fallen out of fashion.
John Spilsbury, the engraver behind the first jigsaw puzzle, a “dissected” map, died on 3 April 1769.
Anti-Vaxxers are nothing new: they’ve been around since Edward Jenner invented the first smallpox vaccine.
Dhaka muslin is an ancient Indian fabric which no-one knows how to make, but which a few weavers are trying to resurrect. [LONG READ]
London
The short stretch of the Hertford Union Canal in east London has been drained for repairs and is giving up its secrets.
When is a river actually a canal? When it’s the New River.
Lifestyle, Personal Development, Beliefs
Nudity at home has become much more common during lockdown, so can naturism become the new trend?
Lockdown has changed quite a few women’s views on bras – both for and against what seems to this mere male to be nothing but a garment of torture.
Going Medieval (yes, again!) considers Jezebel, makeup, and other apocalyptic signs.
How to declutter your home as lockdown eases. Hint: you’ll need the biggest cardboard box you can find.
How the pandemic changed our hygiene habits: we bathe less, but are no more smelly.
Shock, Horror, Humour, Wow!
The mystery of the man who fell from the sky. [LONG READ]
And finally, it seems that big boat that got stuck in the Suez Canal is partly to blame for the UK’s shortage of garden gnomes.
Living Like the Gentry
Some days ago, someone on one of the family history groups I follow posited the question of what our ancestors would have thought of our family history researches. Which in some ways amount to delving into their lives.
I don’t know what they would have thought. No! Wait! Actually I do: they would have wondered why we find them so interesting. It’s a bit like how Noreen reckons the medieval masons would wonder about why we spend so much time, effort and money shoring up our old churches and cathedrals: I’m sure their attitude would be “Why are you repairing it? Can’t you already do better than that!”
I’m also fairly sure that our ancestors would be astonished at our lifestyles. OK, so we live in a 1930s terraced house, which is really the 1930s version of a Victorian two-up-two-down. But we have more space, better amenities, and more money than most of them ever would.
One thing Noreen and I have been doing over the last year, during lockdown, is making sure that we eat well. Actually we always did eat well; just it got a bit better! Food and wine are two of life’s pleasures, so they help with keeping morale up and helping keep us healthy (maybe!).
Now our ancestors (both mine and Noreen’s) were in large part AgLabs, labourers (skilled and unskilled), mariners and fishermen. They would not have had a lot of money; nor good housing; and they may well not have had access to good or sufficient food, with the possible exception of bread and beer.
One of the comments Noreen often makes is to wonder what our ancestors would have thought of our food habits. We can (and sometimes do) have strawberries and cream in the winter; pheasant; decent sized pieces of good meat; fresh and smoked salmon; duck salad with asparagus (in season); wine with a meal; and at weekends a liqueur with our strawberries. As she says, they’d probably say we were living like the gentry.
But then compared with them we are the gentry! At least in terms of our disposable (and secure) income, secure housing, and easy access to good food.
Stephen Marshall (1849-1946) was born.
Top: as it was probably c.1900. Bottom: as it was in 2014.
It is salutary to think that my father’s maternal great-grandfather Jabez Hicks (so my great-great-grandfather; born c.1820, died 1905), a mariner in Dover, would likely not have had a very wonderful diet, or good housing – even after he became a coal & wood merchant and lived his last few years on his own means. He lived in a pretty ramshackle area of Dover, near the docks, for most of his life. His sons mostly did well for themselves: working on the railway; in a senior position for Dover Council; with a business as a fly-proprietor (the taxi/car hire company of the day). But then, largely due to two World Wars, things pretty much stagnated until our generation and the easier availability of good secondary education and universities.
Although we were born with no silver spoons in sight and we’d both say we’re working class (at the very, very best lowest middle class) by origin, yes, we’re privileged on many counts:
- We’re white, cis, able-bodied, heterosexuals.
- Our parents were married before we were born.
- Although our families were never well off, they got by without state help or social workers.
- We can read, write and think fluently.
- Our parents engaged with us, encouraged us, and taught us many things outside school.
- We had the last of the good, free, grammar school education in the 1960s.
- We also had state funded university education (around 10 years between us) in academic subjects.
- That enabled us both to have professional jobs for prestigious institutions.
- Our jobs paid enough for us to buy our own house (despite stinging interest rates), without recourse to the Bank of Mum & Dad.
- Our jobs also provided us with pensions; and our parents frugality with some money in the bank.
- We’re our own people, with our own, considered, views and beliefs.
To our ancestors (in general) most of that would have been things to aspire to, and would certainly mark us out as at least solidly middle class. All basically thanks to our hard work and our parents’ thrift and foresight.
We may be privileged, but it is largely privilege of our own making. Thanks to the inexorable rise of capitalism (I blame a combination of Harold Wilson and Margaret Thatcher) sadly a lot of the younger generations today do not have many of those opportunities we had. I’m sorry to say that our generation of “boomers” forgot its (mostly hard-earned) privilege and we’ve buggered it up for the younger generations.
The Village. V.
The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces
V. The Sun Inn
Amber’s the Ale, the brewery’s best,
Poured by the Barmaid, a magnificent chest.
The Cider’s refreshing; the girls drink in sips;
While Tom’s Dog goes begging for peanuts and chips.
‘Ere is young Emma who always wears clogs,
And sits by the Fire, made up with good logs.
All the fine Glass is so sparkling and clear,
And still we’ve the Hat, which was left here last year.
Ice is in cubes – no, not in my beer!
There’s a jang-e-ly jukebox we wish wasn’t here.
Cute is yon Katy whose hair is dyed pink,
Thus deceiving the Lager that only poofs drink.
There’s food on the Menu, good pies do abound,
While Nuts is the cat who’s always around.
There is Old Arthur, still sucking his pipe,
And Polly, Stan’s Parrot, who’s language is ripe.
Lend me a Quid, I need five for a beer,
And top up Miss Rosie, who’s everyone’s dear.
The Snug at the back’s where the old ‘uns hold court,
Draining the Tankards which each of them brought.
There’s yeuchy Urinals where water we pass,
After drinking the Vino, that’s sold by the glass.
Wee is the Widow, still hearty and hale,
Sipping her 5X, a lovely strong ale.
The Young and the Yoof, so noisy and loud,
Still treasure Zog, our mascot, so proud.
Piece VI will appear on Tuesday 4 May.