Category Archives: thoughts

Barking and Beyond

It’s a pretty safe conclusion that most people we come across (and likely many we don’t) think Noreen and I are Barking — if not a few stations beyond. And, in their world view, they’re probably correct. Because over the years we have come to the conclusion that we’re really not like other people. We’re eccentric — barring that we don’t walk the streets wearing silly hats or clown outfits. Just compare our modus vivendi with that of most “normal” people:

  • We don’t have children. We actually made a conscious decision not to!
  • Neither of us drives a car. Indeed neither of us has even learnt to drive. But it doesn’t stop us being where we want/need to be.
  • We read books; difficult books. We thirst for the knowledge they contain.
  • Consequently we have a house full of books, and we’ve read most of them!
  • We were taught the basics at school, and taught them so well we remember them.
  • We believe what we think is right, not what the tabloid press tell us we should.
  • We passionately believe in freedom of speech. We may not agree with you, but we will defend to the death your right to hold and express your views however uncomfortable they may be.
  • We don’t have a mortgage. We did have one and we paid it off as soon as we could (like about 7 years early!).
  • Neither do we have a bank loan or an overdraft.
  • And we pay off our credit card bills in full every month.
  • We live in a small terraced house in an unfashionable area of London. We could afford something more prestigious (bigger and in a better area) but we don’t need it so why move?
  • We both went to university and have post-graduate qualifications.
  • We were taught to think — and we do!
  • We don’t wear clothes of any sort in bed and haven’t since we were students and left home.
  • We walk naked around the house and even sometimes in the garden. We only don’t do it more because we know it would frighten the horses neighbours. And that’s unfair on them, poor souls.
  • We sleep together, in the same bed; we think this is part of what a relationship is all about.
  • We talk to each other; about meaningful things like history, literature and science.
  • We value money. We didn’t have any as kids. We (try to) look after it now.
  • We don’t have a bath or a shower every day. It isn’t necessary. We have a good wash every day and a shower a couple of times a week or if we’ve been getting mucky/sweaty. Think how much water we save!
  • We don’t generally take foreign holidays and we don’t fly off places for leisure. (And now we’re retired we don’t have to fly on business.)
  • We like this country. It is our heritage. It is rich and fascinating. Even if it could be better.
  • We were brought up to take an interest in things around us: history, nature, architecture. And we still do.
  • We acquire knowledge. On average we two do as well at University Challenge (“an upmarket TV quiz show, M’lud”) as the student teams of four do.
  • We use unusual words, not to sound poncy but because they have specific meanings. Words like: vespiary, peripatetic, antepenultimate, vermifuge, analgesic and decimate.
  • We don’t buy new stuff if we don’t need it. If it’s sensible we get things repaired rather than throwing them away at no provocation and buying new.
  • On the other hand we know when not to waste time on something which is life-expired and buy a new one.
  • We don’t have net curtains. We like daylight and sunshine.
  • We open our windows — to let in the fresh air and the birdsong.
  • We watch very little television. We never watch soap operas, films, dramas, docudrama, game shows. We watch programmes to be informed, not as an opiate substitute.
  • We don’t play golf.
  • We don’t follow fashion. We wear what we find comfortable. And we don’t buy new clothes twice a year because the fashion colours have changed.
  • We don’t give a toss what the neighbours think although we try not to gratuitously upset them.
  • We try to live by two mottoes: “if it harm none, do as you will” and “treat others as you would like them to treat you”.
  • Above all, we’re our own people.

Huh!? You mean you still think we’re sane? Oh, bugger!

Quotes of the Week

This week’s accumulation of leaf-mould …

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
[Martin Luther King, Jr]

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
[Steven Weinberg]

What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.
[Anthony Robbins]

The idea of monogamy hasn’t so much been tried and found wanting, as found difficult and left untried.
[GK Chesterton]

The prerequisite for a good marriage, it seems to me, is the license to be unfaithful.
[Carl Jung in a letter to Freud, 30 January 1910]

Why does society consider it more moral for you to break up a marriage, go through a divorce, disrupt your children’s lives maybe forever, just to be able to fuck someone with whom the fucking is going to get just as boring as it was with the first person before long?
[Susan Squire, I Don’t: A Contrarian History of Marriage]

If Botticelli were alive today he’d be working for Vogue.
[Peter Ustinov]

When we were kids, our mums used to write our name in our school uniform. Now we are adults, we have other peoples names on the front of our clothes!
[Thoughts of Angel]

Listography – Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

As this seems to be confessional time, here is Kate’s Listography from last week that I missed doing. It’s Things I’d Change About Myself … but more specifically characteristics I’d change. (Apparently the vanity of how I look is not allowed.) Hmmm…

My Weight. What do you mean this counts as looks? No it doesn’t. I’d look like a sack of spuds whether I was twice the size I should be or not. I have this characteristic which means I eat too much. Not necessarily the wrong things. Just too much. And if I’m not careful I drink too much beer as well. And I seem to be unable to switch it off. Why can’t I be down to fighting weight and sexy? Even hypnotherapy has so far only succeeded in chipping odd bits off the corners. And it’s all linked to …

Depression. Wouldn’t I love to get rid of my depression. It is so destructive. And I suspect I’ve had it since childhood. I also suspect that, although it is probably multi-factorial there is a genetic component; my father and his father were both depressive. I do seem to have made some progress here as a result of the hypnotherapy. My depression is now much less (giving up work helped a lot!) and I’ve halved the dose of my anti-depressants. Maybe that one is amenable to being smacked on the head.

Patience. I admit I’m not patient. I never have been. Although again I’m a lot better than I used to be. I hate being late. I hate others being late, or dithering, or being stupid, or disorganised. I hate standing in queues. I hate it when things don’t go my way; I get annoyed and sweary. Gggrrrrrrr! Just get a life and relax will you! NOW!

I’m not quite sure how to sum up this next one. But I would like to be less prone to having my arse stuck in my chair, doing more around the home, helping and generally being more engaged. I don’t mind being inept with my hands and having ten left thumbs for fingers (after all my father had twenty left thumbs and he survived to be 86). It’s partly down to the depression, but I feel that is really only an excuse. But I would appreciate being able to make myself do more; things might get done then. And I know Noreen would appreciate this too.

Finally, I need to be able to let go; be less “in control” all the time. Everything I do and say seems to be controlled; thought out; calculated. There isn’t enough spontaneity; not enough emotion. I seem to be frightened of being emotional, letting my emotions out and just allowing my self to relax into things and go with the flow. And for some strange reason it feels as if it has gotten worse recently. Or maybe I’ve just become more aware of it. Definitely something I need to work on.

Secure Your Own Mask Before Helping Others

There is often criticism of Zen Bhuddism for being self-centred, selfish and insufficiently altruistic. This is true up to a point; as Brad Warner explains in a recent post on his Hardcore Zen site it is difficult to help others if you’re woozy yourself because you ain’t fixed your own oxygen mask. Here’s an extract of what Brad has to say …

Zen [seems to be] self-centered. Rather that hearing a lot about how we should be of service to others, the standard canonical texts of Zen appear to focus on what we need to do to improve our own situation and state of mind … They say we need to help others, but don’t go very deeply into how that might be done. This focus on the self is ironic considering that Zen is often portrayed as a practice aimed at eradicating the self.

But have you ever glanced up randomly when you’re on an airplane ignoring the flight attendants safety instructions? When they tell you how to use those oxygen masks they say that you should first secure your own mask before helping others. There’s a good reason for this. If the plane is losing oxygen you’re going to be too woozy to be of service to anyone else until you first get your own stuff together. This is the way it is in life as well.

Much of what passes for religion … takes as its underlying unstated assumption and starting point that we ourselves are OK … It’s painful when that assumption is challenged …

The underlying problem is the same as the problem with the emergency oxygen masks on airplanes. In our usual condition we are far too woozy to be of much service to anyone else. When our own condition is all messed up our attempts to be helpful are more likely to make things worse than to improve them.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t do anything when we see someone is in trouble. We always have to act from the state we’re in at this moment. It’s our duty to do what we can with what we have.

One of the greatest and most useful lessons I’ve learned from Zen practice is how not to help … People learn best from their own mistakes and learn nothing when you fix things for them.

The problem is not whether we should live for others or not. The problem is how we should live for others … It’s important to discover how to truly help. And sometimes that means not helping.

Immediate take-away moral: don’t jump in and fix things for people but teach them how to fix the problem themselves. Kindness can be cruel in the short-term. It’s a bit like school is dull, tedious, boring and apparently pointless but later in life you realise it did actually enable you to fulfil your dreams.

Quotes of the Week

Some odd bedfellows this week …

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
[Robert Louis Stephenson]

Your car is Japanese. Your vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your tea is Tamil. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers are Arabic, your letters Latin. And you complain that your neighbour is an immigrant? Pull yourself together!
[Seen on Facebook]

‘chav’ (vogue label of 2004, originally a traveller’s term of address or endearment, from a French nickname for a young fox), who represents an imagined social grouping, a troublesome, truculent, feckless, shameless underclass delighting in petty criminality and conspicuous consumption (of, inter alia, illicit substances, electronic stimuli, pimped technology and ‘bling’).
[Tony Thorne, Jolly Wicked, Actually]

An eye for an eye makes the world go blind. A tooth for a tooth gums up everything!
[Thoughts of Angel]

Sex was an expression of friendship: in Africa it was like holding hands … It was friendly and fun. There was no coercion. It was offered willingly.
[Paul Theroux quoted in Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jethá, Sex at Dawn]

I had a friend at university who used to propound this latter theory that sex was (and should be seen as) not necessarily more than an expression of sincere friendship and that why should one not have sex with ones friends just as one might have a beer with them. Not sure he ever managed to put it much into practice though.

Quotes of the Week

The usual eclectic and kleptological collection this week …

Blunt common sense is valued above Gauloise-wreathed nuances of gossip about concepts.
[AC Grayling, The Form of Things]

Religion is false but the masses should be encouraged to believe it; it keeps them in order.
[Plato quoted in AC Grayling, The Form of Things]

Harvester of maidenheads
[Description of the second Earl of Rochester, circa 1660, quoted in AC Grayling, The Form of Things]

The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
[Bertrand Russell]

… and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
[Friedrich Nietzsche]

I like prime numbers … I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your lifetime thinking about them.
[Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time]

The greatest university of all is a collection of books.
[Thomas Carlyle]

Long range planning does not deal with future decisions, but with the future of present decisions.
[Peter F Drucker]

Life begins at 40 — but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
[Helen Rowland]

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
[Anon]

Listography – Things My Mother Taught Me

Kate’s Listography this week is about the lessons I learnt from my parents. As Kate herself expresses it “I’m not talking about the ‘don’t fart in a swimming pool’ type lessons either (though they do have their place) – I’m talking about the real deal – the lessons that you want to pass down to your own children”.

Yes, I have things to be grateful to my parents for. But sadly I feel I have more that they (well my father anyway) did that I don’t appreciate. But we’re here to be positive. So what did I learn that’s useful?

The first thing Kate puts on her list is how to cook. And I have to agree with her. As an only child with a non-working mother, I was always around the kitchen. So I learnt a lot of cooking by osmosis, just by watching my mother rather than actually being actively taught. But I remember from an early age being involved in making buns, fudge, toffee, jam; bottling fruit; making bread. At 11 or 12 I was sufficiently accomplished to be able to keep house for my father for 3 or 4 days (during the summer holidays) while my mother was in hospital. OK my mother and I planned it all out in advance: menus, what to buy, how to cook it. But if I say so myself I think I did it well. By the time I was a student I was teaching my peers that they could cook bread, jacket potatoes and pastry in a Baby Belling! To this day I cook, although not as much as I might like. I’m not one for fancy cooking or cakes (though I could do that if I wanted) but good, wholesome, fresh cooked family meals. And not a recipe in sight!

The other big lesson I took from my parents was their bohemianism and eccentricity. Remember we’re talking 1950s/60s here when the country was still depressed and very conventional following the war. My father had been a conscientious objector during the war and spent the time working in hospitals and on the land; youth hostelling on his days off; and billeted with all sorts of interesting people. After the war my parents lived together for two years while my mother’s divorce happened. This was unheard of in those days! So I got a very free-thinking upbringing where anything could be discussed, all the bookshelves (and there were many) were on open access, doors were never shut, nudity and sexuality were normal and people were known by their Christian names, not as Aunt/Uncle/Mr/Mrs/etc. (unless they insisted as some did). Not that I was allowed to do what I liked: there were very strict boundaries and one was brought up to be respectful, polite and considerate of others — otherwise known as children should be seen and not heard. But that, together with living through the 60s and 70s, has left me with an open mind and a propensity to tell it like it is.

Something else this gave me, at least in part, was the concept of taking responsibility for my actions. To some extent I had to learn this by doing the opposite of my father. He was a negative, grumpy old sod a lot of the time and became almost a caricature of Victor Meldrew in his old age; nothing was ever his fault but always someone else’s and they were out to get him or his money. Except that isn’t wholly true; he did try to say “sorry, that was my fault” if it was just maybe not enough or loudly enough to drown out the negative. But he also taught me responsibility in a rather curious way. Despite all the “open access” I don’t recall us ever having a talk about “the birds and the bees” and in this context he only ever gave me one piece of advice. When I was about 17 (I certainly had a steady girlfriend, so we’re talking 1968/9) he said to me one evening something to the effect that I was old enough to know about how things worked followed by “I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t have any bastards”. Yes, in those words. This was in the day when the pill was fairly new still, and there was still stigma in some quarters about being born to unmarried parents. A valuable lesson, but one that maybe scared me a bit too much?

Another thing which came out of my parents’ bohemianism was a love of books and knowledge and being inquisitive. Both my parents read — a lot! My mother, who’s 95, still reads a lot. We were forever in and out of the local library and knew the Chief Librarian as a friend. We had books at home. I was encouraged to have books. And I was allowed to read anything on the shelves which meant I read Lady Chatterley in my early teens (boring it was too!); and Ulysses (also boring); and Havelock Ellis (being the nearest thing then available to The Joy of Sex). Knowledge was important but being inquisitive and knowing how to find things out was even more important. As my father used to say “Education is not knowing, it’s knowing how to find out”. We still have books; literally thousands of them pushing us out of house and home.

Which brings me to the last of the five. All of this put together gave me the ability to think. Properly and deeply. As Noreen once, somewhat over inflatedly, observed of me: he has a brain the size of the Albert Hall and runs around in it. Sure there are things I don’t think about or understand (like high finance, economics and money markets) but I could if they interested me. As a result of this, plus our educations, both Noreen and I know how to do research: proper research. But then in many ways that’s been our lives.

So there are five things I learnt from my parents. And I haven’t even touched on natural history, photography, churches, history, nudism, local government (my father was a councillor) and how to be a grumpy old sod — although I’ve tried to throw away this last.

What did you learn?

Quotes of the Week

This week, a few words of wisdom from some Americans …

Any social organization does well enough if it isn’t rigid. The framework doesn’t matter as long as there is enough looseness to permit that one man in a multitude to display his genius. Most so-called social scientists seem to think that organization is everything. It is almost nothing — except when it is a straitjacket. It is the incidence of heroes that counts, not the pattern of zeros.
[Robert A Heinlein, Glory Road]

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.
[Thomas Jefferson]

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
[Scott Adams]

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
[Thomas Edison]

I have always believed that I was slightly saner than most people. Then again, most insane people think this.
[Truman Capote]