June self-portrait for Flickr 12 Months group.
Category Archives: personal
On Morality
An online contact, who I won’t name, has asked in a posting if it is OK to have a relationship with someone with a diametrically opposed morality; to what extent is it acceptable to compromise to support one’s partner and make the relationship work; and whether this is cowardly. What follows is an edited (and slightly extended) version of my response.
Standing up for your principles (what your morality tells you is right) is not cowardly. This is generally called “sticking to your principles” and is normally seen as “a good thing”. However we all have to make compromises in life and we each have to be comfortable with where we draw the line. Love will distort that line, and where it is in the sand, just as it does everything else. But love is not all powerful and (at least in my view) is not an excuse for casting all morality aside. Each situation has to be assessed anew and on its individual merits. If you are in “this situation” again you may find your compromise is different. You can only make what seems the best decision for you based on the available information at the time; no-one can do better than this.
Morality is a personal thing. Even if you are a strong adherent of a moral code (eg. Christianity) your morality will differ, albeit maybe only subtly, from the code as laid down. If you are like me and make things up for yourself then your morality may well be totally askew to any other morality. That does not mean either (any) is wrong. An individual’s morality is what works for them; and they may have the challenge of moral beliefs which are self-contradictory. (For instance a person could be a pacifist and yet believe that dictators should be overthrown by any possible means.) If one is going to think through ones own morality one has to grapple with such problems – as indeed do more collective moral codes. In addition your morality may change over time as you have new experiences, find new knowledge, etc.
Your morality is not my morality. Accepting those differences is part of being able to get along together and a part of freedom of speech. I may not agree with your morality or views, but I will defend to the death your right to hold and express them – that is part of my personal morality.
The morality which society as a whole has is only the aggregate of all our individual moralities, usually as expressed and enacted by those we “elect” to have these opinions for us – politicians, clerics, etc. Collective morality also changes over time by thinking people like me and you kicking against it where it disagrees with our personal morality; pointing out where we see it as in error; trying to convince others of our view – and often being badmouthed by the likes of the tabloid press in the process.
Noreen (my wife of almost 30 years! Eeeek!) has a Christian belief although not of the “regular church-going” or “happy clappy” sort. I used to share this belief; but my viewpoint as changed. I am now an atheist; I have no belief in God(s) although I do still hold many of the same underlying “do as you would be done by” morals, but expressed differently. Noreen and I respect each others’ opinions, and we discuss them openly even though we don’t agree about them. This works for us; it might not work for either of us with a different partner; or for any other couple.
You have to uphold your morals in your own way, and that at times may mean compromise. That’s fine as long as you don’t bury it all and then feel resentful later – that way lies bitterness and trauma like divorce or mental illness. That means you have to be open about your beliefs, be prepared to discuss them and respect alternative views. A partnership, any partnership – sexual, work, friendship, marriage etc. – is a continual exercise in compromise if it is to work. Where there is insufficient compromise for both (all) parties the partnership will fail. And there are no absolute right or wrong answers in life, only the answers that work best for you at the time – which is not the same as outright expediency or situation ethics.
Keep banging those rocks together.
Favourite Shops Meme
Favourite Shops Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.
This week’s Flickr meme is about shopping: name your 12 favourite shops. This is quite hard for me as I don’t do shopping; with a few exceptions (most notably food and shoes) if I can’t buy it online I don’t buy it. But anyway here is a selection of the ones I do use:
1. Waitrose (UK, top of the range supermarket)
2. Ocado (the home delivery arm of Waitrose)
3. Marks & Spencer (mostly for food as well these days)
4. Any bookshop (better if it’s a secondhand bookshop tho’)
5. Any produce market (we are foodies; we always cook from scratch; so good produce is always on the schedule)
6. Hiltons (our nearest “wholefood” butcher; lots of organic, free-range and humanely reared meat; seriously good meat; and a wide variety including game too; but not cheap)
7. Amazon (books again, but also lots of other merchandise)
8. George’s (men’s outsize clothes with a shop in Chester and an online shop; very helpful; good quality tho’ not cheap)
9. eBay (is there anything you can’t buy on eBay?)
10. Abebooks (more books! Abebooks is in my view the best of the secondhand book aggregators; watch the postage costs tho’)
11. Clive’s (my barber; always a friendly chat; never stressed or hurried)
12. Borough Market (the place in London for fresh produce especially on a Saturday morning; worth visiting just to look! And next door to the delights of Southwark Cathedral)
As always these photographs are not mine (except for #11 which is mine) so please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and normally 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.
1. Waitrose’s Green Nanas, 2. 28 Days of Gratitude: Feb 1 (YIP), 3. Mussels from M+S, 4. Zafóns Bookshop?, 5. http://www.flickr.com/photos/adevlinphotography/2849393569/, 6. Traditional butchers, 7. Amazon Cat, 8. Gremlin or Mogwai?, 9. Upay with Ebay!, 10. Divine Comedy, 11. In the Barber’s Shop, 12. Borough Market
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
Seriously Wow!
What a fantastic day! The first day of our week off and we’ve had a seriously memorable day.
We started boringly early this morning with a trip to the dentist. Both of us. For a check-up and a hygienist appointment each. Nothing except a clean for Noreen and one small filling done on the spot for me.
Back home at 10 and a short time to relax before getting dressed up for the afternoon: “Morning dress or lounge suit. Ladies are requested to wear hats.” it says.
OMG. But I don’t do dressing up. Does my suit still fit? Well I can just get into this one.
“What are you going to?”
“This is Ascot week.”
“But Ascot starts tomorrow.”
We have been given tickets (invited if you will) to attend the Service of the Most Noble Order of the Garter in St George’s Chapel, Windsor which is of course a royal, nay a Court, occasion.
“How?”
Well we just happen to know one of the Heralds of Arms, purely socially; he also happens to be Secretary to the Order of the Garter and thus responsible for organising this occasion. Thus it was about 3 weeks ago Patric popped his head over the parapet and said
“I omitted to ask whether you and Noreen could manage the Garter Service this year?”
(He had offered us tickets a couple of years ago and we couldn’t get free from work). I assumed he meant outside to see the procession through Windsor Castle, but no this was to attend the service in the Chapel. Wow! Thank you! Yes, please! We’ll be delighted; honoured; etc.
Our friend Tom offered to drive us the 15 or so miles out to Windsor. We got him a ticket to see the procession.
So off we traipse just before 12.30. Tom had to be in position before 2; we would be admitted to the Chapel at 2, no later than 2.30. We parked in Windsor Great Park just after 1. A long, leisurely, walk up to the Castle. Which gate? That gate. No you’ll have to go to that gate. No not here you need to be at the other (first) gate! Not really surprising with several gates, at least two types of ticket in six different colours; and thousands of security peeps.
It was hot. Need chocolate before blood sugar crashes. Hunt chocolate. Find nice man who keeps chocolate in the fridge. Go to (first) gate (again). Security checks – show passport three times as well as ticket! It’s blazing hot. Finally admitted to Chapel: cooler; a bit. Then the fun begins …
In march:
the state trumpeters (Household Cavalry);
a posse of Yeoman Warders, complete with ruffs, pikes, halberds and swords; followed by
a posse of the Honourable Corps of Gentlemen at Arms – aged military retainers with white feather plumes in their shining tin hats. The choristers;
the heralds (in their playing card tabards);
the Knights of the Garter; the Royal Knights;
officers of the Order; retinue; and …
THE QUEEN.
A blare of trumpets.
Wow we don’t half do this pageantry stuff well, we English. We are in the nave in row 3, just 15 feet from HM – but with a big, burly, prop forward of a Yeoman Warder in the way!
Settle down now children and we’ll have a nice ordinary church service. A couple of hymns (good hymns in comfortable keys for all to sing, and they did), responses, prayers, a lesson etc. The usual stuff.
45 minutes later the procession traipses out again in reverse order. Another blare of trumpets for HM.
Back outside it is still baking; the black clouds roll past. And we get to see some of the procession ride back up the hill in carriages. A few, the older ones, in cars. Some even walk! The military march off. Two squadrons of Blues & Royals and Life Guards in full ceremonials including spurs. The full band of the Household Cavalry covered in gold frogging (see trumpeters, above). A detachment of Foot Guards.
We eventually meet up with Tom. We are all seriously hot and thirsty, so adjourn to the nearest pub for a couple of pints. Followed by a nice walk back to the car. And home for tea and cake.
What a fantastic day. I never thought I would ever get invited to such a royal occasion. And I certainly never thought I would be just 12-15 feet from the Queen. Absolutely brilliant. And it didn’t rain! 
[No cameras permitted in the Chapel, so all the pictures are from the web, mostly from Wikimedia Commons.]
Ghost Stories
Antonia over at Whoopee has asked us to post our real-life ghost stories. So here are my two, not-quite-ghost stories.
Theobald’s; Early ’60s
I was brought halfway between Cheshunt and Waltham Cross, about 13 miles north of London and just in Hertfordshire. And I actually lived about 5-10 minutes walk from the site of the long vanished Tudor Theobald’s Palace – built by Lord Burghley and later exchanged by Robert Cecil for James I’s Hatfield House.
Part of the grounds of the old palace were a local park which I visited regularly so we got to know the park keeper. Behind the park was the early-Victorian Old Palace House, built on the actual site of the old palace.
This is of the back of Old Palace House in the 1930s; it wasn’t a lot different when I knew it. Notice the two Tudor windows salvaged from Theobald’s Palace.
By the time I got to know the house it was uninhabited and had passed into the ownership of the local council, so on a Sunday it was under the stewardship of the aforementioned park keeper. Thus it was that we got to help ourselves to apples (gorgeous old varieties) from the wonderful old orchard and also on one occasion to go round the inside of the house.
The house was interesting, but of course slowly becoming derelict having been unoccupied for some years. So it was cold and dank, even on a hot summer’s day. Walking round the house (I guess I would have been 12, maybe 14) we had our small Cairn Terrier sized dog with us. We went up the main staircase to the first floor. But the dog would not, absolutely would not, go up to those stairs. I had to carry her up; she was shaking like a leaf. What it was I don’t know but there was something up there that terrified her. And it did strike me as especially chill.
We never did find out any more, although I have found this on the Paranormal Database:
Location: Cheshunt – Old Palace House, Theobald’s Park
Type: Haunting Manifestation
Date / Time: Unknown
Further Comments: It was claimed that this building was haunted by a number of ghosts, though details are sketchy
A few years later the old house burnt down; as far as I know it was never concluded whether this was “suspicious” or an accident. Except for a large specimen walnut tree the orchard was grubbed out and became an extension of the park.
Follow the links to find lot’s more about the interesting history of the Cheshunt and Waltham Cross area at British History Online.
Norwich; Summer 1973
My only other experience of ghostly presence was when I was a post-graduate student in Norwich. I was friends with a couple (let’s call them B and J) who, at the time, were devout Catholics and lived in a flat (part of a Victorian house) halfway between the city centre and the university.
One hot summer Saturday afternoon I was working in my lab and B was also working 3 labs along from me. We had agreed that I would eat with them that evening and then we’d go out for a few beers. I finished my experiments in mid-afternoon and B said to go on to theirs and he would follow. I duly did so.
When I arrived J open the door and said “Thank God you’ve arrived I been struggling with this presence all day and can’t banish it”. On a baking hot summer’s day I walked in the door and was hit by this wall of freezing cold – real freezing cold, not just a cool house. It tuned out that J had been beset by this “demon” all day and could not banish it from the house – we were great believers in the power of the mind to control these things. She and I set about working on it together and eventually managed to banish it as far as the bathroom.
B arrived an hour or two later and before anyone said anything his comment was along the lines of “What on earth is wrong; what’s happening?” J explained. As I recall we spent the rest of the evening finally removing the presence from the house. We didn’t resort to bell, book and candle, but we were pretty close to doing so. Luckily the presence never returned.
I would have to say, in all honesty, that I’m fairly agnostic about ghosts and presences although these two events were real enough (horribly real in the case of the latter). As Hamlet observes (Act I, scene i):
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Household Meme
Household Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.
This week’s Flickr meme is about how your household runs; here are some questions and answers:
1. When does your garbage disposal happen? Early Friday morning
2. What special jobs are assigned to other people in the house? All of them if I could get away with i; but seriously we don’t tend to assign special jobs, except that I always do the finances and Noreen always does the garbage
3. Who is responsible for bathroom cleaning? Both of us
4. Who cooks? Mostly Noreen these days; but it should be me
5. Who washes the dishes? The electric scullery maid
6. What temperature is your heating set at? Comfortable for nudity, usually about 20 Celsius
7. Who does the washing & ironing? The resident costume curator
8. Who pays the household bills / is financial controller? Me; well most of it anyway. We have our own bank accounts and our own money but I pay most of the bills as I earn the more
9. If you have a garden (or houseplants) who looks after it? Both of us plus Tom the gardener who does the heavier, and more boring, work
10. Do you replace commodities when they run out, or do you keep a spare? What do you keep a spare of? We keep spares of most things we commonly use; like everything from toothpaste to garlic paste
11. When is your heating on; some hours or 24/7? Morning & evening during the week; morning ’til night at weekends; unless it is bitterly cold of course. And yes, our house is naturally warm
12. Are there special jobs done on particular days? Not really except for the garbage and the finances on pay day
As always these photographs are not mine so please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and normally 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.
1. Chicago, early morning, 18 April 2008, 2. ColOurs… all of tHem…, 3. Just the two of us…, 4. KC the wundermutt upclose, 5. AKIBA Scenario, 6. day one hundred five, 7. Musketeer, 8. I’m sick as a dog….., 9. Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. –Marcel Proust, 10. What do you call Romanian toothpaste, 11. Good Morning, 12. O.P. (Organizing Principle)
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
Bucket List Meme
Bucket List Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.
This week’s Flickr meme is again simple: share 12 things you want to do before you die.
This isn’t necessarily the definitive set, but here goes with a selection …
1. Retire
2. Win the lottery
3. Fix my depression
4. Celebrate our pearl wedding anniversary
5. Have a swimming pool and swim nude every day
6. Be able to afford it (for any chosen value if “it”)
7. Have a naturist holiday
8. Have another 3 wishes
9. Get a knighthood (or peerage); not that there’s any chance of this.
10. Grow old disgracefully and in good health
11. Become skillful at dowsing
12. Become immortal
As always these photographs are not mine so please click on individual links below to see each artist/photostream. This mosaic is for a group called My Meme, where each week there is a different theme and normally 12 questions to send you out on a hunt to discover photos to fit your meme. It gives you a chance to see and admire other great photographers’ work out there on Flickr.
1. retired, 2. 2009: Another Year …., 3. If my hair looks good that’s all that matters……., 4. peach bridesmaids’ bouquet, 5. swim, 6. Maybe I can afford it one day!, 7. More for friends, 8. Three Wishes, 9. Gulf Coast Renaissance Faire, 10. By the Waters Edge…., 11. Pendulum1, 12. Immortality
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
Amended DID Meme
Amended DID Meme, originally uploaded by kcm76.
As most UK readers will know Desert Island Discs (DID) is a radio programme where a celebrity is asked to nominate the 8 records they would want if cast-a-way alone on a desert island. They are also allowed one book (they get the Bible and Shakespeare as well) and one luxury item (as long as it doesn’t aid them in escaping). It has been broadcast every week for well over 50 years!
This week’s Flickr meme follows the DID theme: chose 5 CD’s (to be loaded onto an iPod), 2 books, 4 luxury items and 1 food item of which you get an unlimited supply.
OK, so here are my choices:
1. CD: Monteverdi, 1610 Vespers
2. CD: Beatles, Let It Be
3. CD: Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here
4. CD: Granados, Goyescas (Piano Music)
5. CD: JS Bach, Complete Organ Works
6. Book: Anthony Powell, A Dance to the Music of Time (yes, I’ll have all 12 volumes, thank you!)
7. Book: Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
8. Luxury: Digital Camera with Assorted Lenses, battery charger, etc.
9. Luxury: PC with Internet Connection and Photoshop
10. Luxury: Prolifically Fruiting Avocado Tree
11. Luxury: Large Swiss Army Knife
12. Food: Nuts (assorted types)
Oh and I’ve mixed it up a bit as every one of the images is a collage.
This week’s Flickr meme could go one of two ways: either show us 12 of your favourites from other photographers or show us 12 favourite pictures you’ve taken! I have chosen to do the former; so here are 12 of my favourites from 12 other photographers — and not a pretty girl in sight (for once!). I might do 12 of my own favourites later in the week; or I might do 12 pretty girls from amongst my Flickr favourites.
1. Detail2 Poppea, 2. Art Project I, 3. Two lost souls, 4. The Crooked Coda: Toccare, 5. Orgelmuseum Malchow, 6. Sparkle With The Joy of Life, 7. Tales and Legends ~ Alice in Wonderland, 8. four amigos (hockney style), 9. Collage fragment3, 10. avocado, 11. Swiss army yo-yo, 12. Well Grab Your Drink And Clear A Space, I Think It’s Time To Torch This Place
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
Favourites Meme the Second – for Relaxation
Favourites Meme the Second, originally uploaded by kcm76.
I am so drained this evening after a non-stop, battering day at work that I just cannot get to do anything! Sorry to those who are waiting for emails or literary society work from me; it just cannot be did this evening. I can’t even concentrate on writing a decent weblog post! So I decided to do a second version of this week’s Flickr meme, only this time containing some of my favourites from amongst my own photos. Looking at my Flickr Photostream it contains an awful lot of crap, but amongst it the odd gem. These aren’t necessarily my best shots (anyway who is to say what is best, you or me? — your best is my rubbish) but are the first dozen I picked that I like. So have an evening off and enjoy! Now I shall go and read.
Oh and just for the record these shots span some 20+ years. #9 is the earliest; taken I think in the mid to late 80s (and obviously on film); #10 is the most recent taken just a 3-4 of weeks ago.
1. Apothecary’s Rose
2. Tabby Tiger
3. Red Shoveller Duck
4. Iris 3
5. Double Departure from Alexisbad (3)
6. Warbrook House (Rear)
7. French Lavender 2
8. Deep Pink Cyclamen
9. Floss Cat
10. Camellia
11. Armco Sundown
12. Early Morning December 2
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
All-Weather Spectacles
The Feedback column in New Scientist recently asked its readers
to describe your own Wallace-and-Gromit-style invention in no more than 100 words. Many of you focused on just one important aspect of the Wallace and Gromit canon: reading through your entries, it has been a revelation to us how many productive uses cheese – especially Wensleydale – can be put to. Knitting, mice running on treadmills and modified bicycles also figured in many of your inventions.
However of the five published winners, this was my favourite:
As well as having reactive lenses, these spectacles have a built-in rain sensor that activates lens wipers in wet conditions. There is also a light detector, which will switch on lights in the spectacle arms when it is dark, to help you see. In strong sunlight, a nose shield will automatically be unfurled to prevent unsightly sunburn on the nose. In extreme cold, the frame of the spectacles will heat up to help keep your face warm. The spectacles are powered by a small wind turbine attached to each arm. Stylish yet practical.
It was the small wind turbines that finally finished me off!
Maybe that’s because I went to the opticians this week for a new pair of specs, during which I discovered the new “must have” frames … they come with magnetic “clip-on” polarizing sunglasses. Magnetic? Where does magnetism come in? Well rather than clipping on to the specs with what one might term “adapted paperclips” they are held on by small magnets. On the sides of the shades (where the hinge would normally be) there is a small magnet. On the equivalent place on the frames, integrated into the hinge, is another small magnet. An instant docking mechanism. So simple when one thinks about it, and yet it apparently hasn’t been tried before; no doubt someone will tell me they’ve been around for years but I’ve never seen, or been offered, them before. OK, they’re not cheap, but in the overall scheme of things they aren’t expensive either especially when one considers that my lenses cost a week’s wages. Eeeekk!