Category Archives: personal

personal, photography, pleasures

Reasons to be Grateful: 30

Experiment, week 30. Another week, another selection in my continuing experiment in documenting five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful this week.

But the whoe week has been very Meh, at best — grey, wet, windy, not very warm and generally crap. In fact it’s been so Meh one wonders how to find 5 good things to highlight!

  1. The Experiment Continues. Yes, that is worth mentioning because we are now halfway through the 60 weeks I set out for this experiment to last. Overall over the last year I do seem to be less depressed — I keep a very qualitative track of my mood (just on a scale of +3 to -3) and I’m definitely having more good days than I was. How much this experiment is the cause, or the hypnotherapy, or something else, I have no idea. I’m just glad things are better than they were; it’ll be good if we can keep the upward trend.
  2. Waking up with a Pussy. Several mornings this week I’ve awoken with Harry the Cat sleeping by my head. And there’s nothing like a warm furry pussy first thing in the morning. Maybe this should count as two ticks?
  3. Smoked Chicken. I’m sure I’ve said this one before, but Waitrose do smoked chicken breasts, and they aren’t any more expensive that ordinary cold roast chicken. They usually have quite long “use by” dates so we often have a couple in the fridge as a stand-by so we can throw together a quick, and very yummy salad if ever we decide we don’t want to cook. Especially good with an olive oil and lemon dressing.

    Peonies & Sunflowers
    Click the image for larger version

  4. Sunshine. There’s been so little sunshine this week that the few odd spells of sun and blue sky we’ve had have been so very welcome.
  5. Peonies & Sunflowers (photo above, which sorry I also used yesterday!). We bought these from Waitrose on Friday. They’re magnificent! They’re in a handmade pottery jug by Dave Brown of Merriott, Somerset (which we bought from the man himself some 30-ish years ago). Don’t they look very “Dutch flower painting”!
personal, pleasures

Reasons to be Grateful: 29

Experiment, week 29. Another week, another selection in my continuing experiment in documenting five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful during the week. So this week we have …

1. Iris sibirica. These wonderful blue, delicate looking iris are out now in our garden. They’re always a delight to me!

Iris Sibirica

2. Hypnotherapy. I always enjoy my 3-weekly-ish hypnotherapy sessions with Chris. We always find something interesting to mull over and I enjoy the experience of being hypnotised. And this week Chris reckons he got me hypnotised much deeper than ever before; I was certainly reluctant to emerge from hypnosis and it took me a fairly long time to come round.

3. Yummy Food. Yes we’ve had the usual good meal this week (as well as a few mundane ones; we don’t eat royally all the time!). On Friday I did pasta and seafood (a variant on my Pasta with Bacon recipe) again, only this time with scallops. Much as I like scallops I think I actually prefer this dish with king prawns — well who wouldn’t?! And tonight I did Pork Fillet with Pesto, but with a jar of commercial tomato pesto; served with steamed new potatoes and English asparagus — most yummy!

4 & 5. Meeting Friends. It’s always great to meet up with friends as we did yesterday with Katy and her children at Kew Gardens: always another delight and which I’ve blogged about here.

personal

Reasons to be Grateful: 28

Experiment, week 28. Another week in my continuing experiment in documenting five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful this week. So this week we have …

  1. Summer Weather. Finally summer arrived with a bang this week. We’ve not just had almost wall-to-wall sunshine but it has been hot as well. Even though it has been unusually, and at times uncomfortably, hot, I’d much rather have it like this than the drab, coldness of winter.
  2. Short Trustee Meetings. On Tuesday evening we had the 2-monthly meeting (by audioconference) of the Anthony Powell Society. Amazingly we finished the meeting in 40 minutes which was a result; often the meeting last and hour and a half!
  3. Samsung Galaxy S2. During the week I got a new mobile phone, and finally succumbed to a smartphone. Because at the moment I’m doing a photographic project which entails a lot of driving around central London on a Sunday morning I figured that something with satnav would be a good investment. And so it proved this morning trying to navigate the back-streets of Soho and Covent Garden! It’s almost paid for itself already! And I have to say it is a most impressive piece of technology (except for the power consumption which is frightening with the GPS on).
  4. Lamb Sag Madras. Well I can’t let a week go by without at least one foodie item! On Saturday evening I made a rather good Lamb Sag Madras served with Mrs Marshall’s Very Lemony Rice. Yummy, it was!

  5. Kensington Gardens. As part of the aforementioned photographic project I was walking through Kensington Gardens before 8AM this morning. It was already getting warm, but it was still delightfully fresh and great to have the grass under ones feet. Even at that our on a Sunday there were joggers, dog walkers and skateboarders everywhere! And swans (above) on the Round Pond.
personal, pleasures

Reasons to be Grateful: 27

Experiment, week 27. Well here we are; another week another selection in my continuing experiment in documenting five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful this week. It’s mostly been a repetitive and foodie week, again …

  1. Orchids. I know I keep saying orchids, but every time I go in the bedroom, where they reside on the windowsill, I can’t get how amazing they are!
  2. Home Baked Ham. I’m sure I’ve said this before too. Last weekend we had a joint of smoked collar bacon — much more character to it than gammon and cheaper too — as long as you can get large joints! (See here.) Noreen did her usual bake it in huff pastry and then glazed it with spicy tomato chutney. Definitely yummy!
  3. Pasta with Seafood. This was a variant on my Pasta with Bacon or Prawns dish on Friday evening. This time with a bag of mixed seafood, cherry tomatoes and lime. Another yummy tea!

  4. Oriental Tree. Then last night we went out with our friends Sue & Ziggy (and their boys) to their local Chinese, the Oriental Tree in Northfields Avenue, West Ealing (see here for my earlier review-ette). The Oriental Tree is essentially Chinese with an admixture of bits of Thai and Vietnamese. The food is to die for! Especially the gorgeous succulent prawn dishes, the Chilli Shredded Beef. Luckily for our waistlines it isn’t on our doorstep otherwise we’d be in there several nights a week!
  5. English Asparagus. This was today’s treat! We have just eaten roast chicken with steamed new potatoes, steamed English asparagus and mushroom sauce. Yeah, I know it sounds dull, but it wasn’t — I love asparagus!
personal

Listography : Arrggghhhh!!!!! Bloody Children!

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After a hiatus of a few weeks Kate’s Listography is back and has gone monthly.

This month her theme is the Top 5 Things I Love about Kids.

Bloody kids again! Why does the world have to revolve around children?

Why is it that these days I seem to see nothing but kid-centric, “doting-mummy” blogs and websites? And sycophantic parents/grandparents?

Why is it that the vast majority of people can only identify themselves through their children? Or their grandchildren? To the exclusion of all else.

Noreen and I mostly don’t do children. We chose not to have children because we were neither of us convinced we wanted them. We were agreed that for us parenthood had to be a full time job for one of us until any youngest child was able to reasonably look after itself after school, especially as we didn’t have a raft of nearby family to provide (free) childcare. And we both had careers; in Noreen’s case a career break (25+ years ago) would have ended her career — the career she had always wanted. So we preferred to be here to help our friends and their children when they needed it. It’s a different sort of give-back.

Fine if you want children. But too many people seem to drift into having kids because they’re conditioned to it and can’t think about any alternative. Then when they’ve got them they forget everything else they ever knew and that there’s more to life the kids. Once upon a time there weren’t reliable alternatives to spawning a child every year or two. Now there are alternatives; let’s use them to their fullest potential.

It’s almost as if those of us without children become invisible. We don’t matter to anyone and we almost don’t exist. UK employment law gives special privileges to parents in terms of being allowed time away from work for their family. Those of us without kids get nothing except to cover the parents’ work. Isn’t that discrimination? Bah! Humbug!

Actually it’s worse than because it seems some women are actually vilified and/or bullied because they don’t have children, see here.

Besides not having children is probably the least selfish and most eco-friendly thing any of us can do.

Actually I guess it’s really that I dislike society’s attitude to children and the overarching influence it has on most parents. (Clearly there are exceptions — we spent yesterday evening, very enjoyably, with one of them.)

Having said that, I don’t dislike children as long as they are well behaved (but then that applies to adults too). I do dislike those nasty-yelling-messy-smelly-baby-things and their doting retinues.

So what (if anything) do I like about kids? I can’t make five but …

1. Yes, they can be highly amusing. Mispronunciations. Wacky ideas. Crazy antics.

2. Being able to have an adult conversation with them. In my (limited) experience they are actually quite good at this much younger than we think, as long as one picks words and concepts carefully.

3. Being able to “give them back”. They’re fine for an hour or two, but God, looking after the little buggers all the time would seriously drive me nuts!

Sorry Kate! I’m just being a grumpy old git.

personal, photography, pleasures

Reasons to be Grateful: 26

Experiment, week 26. Continuing the experiment here are this week’s five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful.

  1. Half-Price Orchids. As previously blogged.
  2. Pork with Pesto. Also as previously blogged.
  3. Strawberries & Raspberries. Special treat for the weekend we bought some good English strawberries and raspberries. What a wonderful weekend breakfast.
  4. Sparrowhawk. As we arrived home yesterday afternoon the sparrowhawk darted across the road in front of us, obviously chasing after some hapless sparrow. It failed in its quest but we then had the delight of watching it gliding around for several minutes until it drifted away across the houses. So graceful in flight, and when they want so fast.

  5. Wellington Arch. As I mentioned earlier we visited the Wellington Arch at Hyde Park Corner earlier today. Super views from the balcony including looking up at the Quadriga’s black bronze horses and down on the Household Cavalry (today the Blues & Royals) riding their equally black horses back to barracks after changing the guard at Horse Guards in Whitehall.
personal

Reasons to be Grateful: 25

Experiment, week 25. Continuing the experiment here are this week’s five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful.

  1. Sunshine. Yes, for the umpteenth week running the weather has been so dismal I’ve really appreciated what little sunshine we have had.
  2. Animals Inside Out. On Wednesday we went to see Gunther von Hagens’s Animals Inside Out exhibition at the Natural History Museum, which I blogged earlier. Despite my disappointments I did enjoy the exhibits and the incredible skill that goes into the plastination process.
  3. Prawns & Pasta. Again this week I cooked pasta with prawns for evening meal. I like cooking it, and I like eating it!
  4. Not having the Alarm on. I love being able to sleep until I wake up naturally, which is usually rather later than the time the alarm would go off.

  5. Scheurich Glass. I’ve been searching for suitable cachepots for my orchids. They really should be clear-ish glass as orchid roots like light. But I came across these rather lovely German glass pots. They come in a variety of colours: red (which is gorgeous), green, purple and white/clear. Amazon.co.uk sell them at a sensible price, although they don’t always have them in stock.
food+drink, personal

Reasons to be Grateful: 24

Experiment, week 24. Continuing the experiment here are this week’s five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful.

  1. Sunshine. Yeah, I said it last week and I’ll say it again! This has been such a dismal week, weatherwise, that I’ve really appreciated the few odd spells of sunshine we’ve had.
  2. Lunch with Friends. On Thursday we had a flying visit to Portsmouth to have lunch with some friends and ex-colleagues. (We were going to make a good day out of it and look round Portsmouth Dockyard. But who wants to do that in the pouring rain?) So we settled for just having a most enjoyable lunch at The Chimes. This is the restaurant run by the Hospitality and Catering Department of Portsmouth Highbury College. As Pam, who booked it, said: the food is always excellent but the service can be interesting. And to be fair the service was somewhat hesitant and lacking confidence — but then the students were obviously learning and we all have to start somewhere! As to the food …
  3. Rack of Lamb. … Yep I had a rack of lamb at the The Chimes. And yes, it was excellent. Beautifully cooked; really tender; and full of flavour. All in all the food really couldn’t be faulted; everyone enjoyed it. And it was ridiculously cheap.

  4. Lamb Curry. Lamb again, only this time my own lamb curry early in the week.
  5. Raspberries & Clotted Cream. More food; and eaten at home. We should have been going to dinner with friends last night but Sue was ill. And as we’d promised to take pudding we had a quantity of raspberries and clotted cream to devour for tea! Followed by strawberries for breakfast today. Yum!
history, people, personal

Forgive Me for I have Sinned

I have sinned. I need shriving.

We should have spent the weekend doing boring domestic things like cleaning out cupboards and throwing away toot, or doing literary society work.

But we haven’t.

The only domestic stuff I managed to do was (a) the regular paperwork and make sure the bills are paid and (b) to put together the Saturday and Sunday evening meals. That really isn’t good enough considering the jumble-sale state of the house.

But did we care? Did we hell!

Instead we worked at cracking a couple of blockages in tracing my family history. We haven’t cracked them but we have made progress and narrowed some of the options. In both cases this is down to two heads being better than one, and Noreen having a couple of brainwaves.

The two cases are totally unrelated; one in my father’s family the other in my mother’s. The former in Kent; the latter in London. But both at at the end of the 18th century and beginning of the 19th, so way before there are birth, marriage and death registrations or censuses to help much.

In my father’s family I have a gg-grandfather the date of whose marriage I can’t prove and whose parentage I can’t prove. There is later census data which shows a string of children and there are death registrations for both gg-grandparents. I can’t prove which of two candidates is my gg-grandfather: there are two guys with the same names, born to different parents, within 2 years (1805-1807) in the same village. Which of them was it who married my gg-grandmother? I cannot tell. At very best I have some extremely vague circumstantial evidence. (Note that at this date most parish records do not give the names of the bride’s and groom’s fathers.)

But Noreen did solve part of the puzzle over gg-grandfather’s marriage. The marriage dates for my gg-grandparents don’t fit with the string of children — several are born before the apparent marriage. Noreen said “I don’t suppose he had two marriages?”. And yes, from the baptism records, it looks as if he did and that my gg-grandmother was his second wife. The first half of the children are by his first wife; and my line descends from the youngest child of the second wife. And that puts the marriage in the right place on the timeline. I still can’t prove it conclusively, but it looks likely.

This is going to be a case of go and hunt in the actual parish registers for the relevant villages and see if there are clues which aren’t in the transcriptions.


Late-1930/early-1931. My father (centre) aged about 10, with his parents, younger brother and baby sister.
It’s my grandfather’s line I’m trying to fix.
[Apologies for the scan of a poor copy of a poor original!]

In the other case, on my mother’s side, I have as good as fixed the problem gg-grandparents already, although corroboration would be nice. But I cannot fix my gg-grandmother’s parents or their parents.

We have likely baptisms for the ggg-grandparents, and also ggg-grandfather’s death. There appears to be a marriage, but the date is in doubt (by all of 10 years — choose 1822 or 1832!). 1822 is the more likely as the first child appears to be born in 1823. But by dint of diligent searching and some good guesswork we’ve managed to fix ggg-grandparents’ family on the 1841 census which we couldn’t previously and found a couple of their children who we didn’t previously know about and who probably died prior to 1841.

That doesn’t help unravel the problem of the gggg-grandparents although there are now a few clues to work on. And fortunately in this case we are looking at people with relatively uncommon surnames, but in London where many of the parish records aren’t available online (yet).

But we have made progress. Again it is going to be a case of looking at the original parish registers of a couple of well known London churches to see what clues they can offer which the available transcriptions can’t.

How do we do it? Basically I work as far as I can and draw out the options. In each case I then take Noreen through the case, outlining what I know and can prove, what we need to prove, and where there are conflicts or gaps. We then check the data together. And hunt together (or separately) other avenues which present themselves. We have ideas and hunches and try to prove (or disprove) them. And I do the same for Noreen’s researches. One of us presents our case and the other acts as judge. When we agree a position we then both act as investigating magistrates.

Yes, it is hard work and it does need two brains on the problem. It has to be approached forensically. One needs to know the result is correct; I liken it to having to convince a court. Many people are far too slapdash and make assumed connections where there are none; too much of what I see others doing I can easily prove to be wrong. I have to be convinced beyond reasonable doubt.

And it’s as annoying as hell not to be ale to crack the problems.

But it sure beats doing housework!

personal

Reasons to be Grateful: 23

Experiment, week 23. Continuing the experiment here are this week’s five things which have made me happy or for which I’m grateful.

  1. Sunshine. It’s been another dull, grey rainy and not very warm week. So I’ve especially appreciated the small amounts of nice sunshine we’ve had. Sunshine really does make me feel so much better!
  2. Rain. I have also appreciated the rain. We need the rain; it has been very dry, despite the fact that my pond is overflowing. And some of the rain has been nice soft steady summer rain, which I always quite like.

    3. Rainbow

  3. Rainbow. And what do you get with sun and rain but a rainbow. We had a lovely example of a complete rainbow this week — and a second, but of course fainter, one outside it. (The photo is one I took last year.)
  4. Green Garden. All of which is making the garden wonderfully green. Lovely bright fresh Spring greens too.
  5. Pasta and Lemony Prawns. Finally some food. We got two bargains this week in Waitrose: some super king prawns and several ends of sirloin steak at not quite half price! The latter was divided up and frozen; Noreen used one portion to make a great beef curry on Friday evening. And some of the prawns I cooked last night in a very lemony tomato sauce with linguine. Yummy!