Category Archives: personal

medical, personal

Meh … with Gin and Beer

The last 24-36 hours has been decidedly “Meh”, at best.
It all started yesterday afternoon when I fell asleep in the chair. Which is, of itself, not that unusual. But the thing was that when I awoke I felt decidedly out of sorts: lethargic, miserable (almost depressed) and ratty; generally incapable. Again nothing new there.
Because we were supposed to be visiting our friend Katy in Leicester today, things had to be done. And as it was to be an early start, an early night was desired. Which was good, ‘cos I still felt “meh” and put it down to the inevitable stress of being bright-eyed and bushy tailed long before o’God o’clock.
Signal for the phone to beep, with a text …
<flashback>
On Saturday we had been out to a local Thai restaurant with friends who had recently returned from holiday in foreign parts. Eldest child (a teenager) wasn’t there ‘cos he was ill with what sounded like ‘flu — the way one does. Anyway we went back to theirs for coffee after the meal as the youngest needed bed before an early Sunday start.
</flashback>
Anyway the upshot was that the teenager was taken to the doctor yesterday, and then to the hospital, to be diagnosed with a nasty, and rather infectious, foreign disease. Hence the text message. We didn’t at this stage know how far the infection might have spread, so I felt we should warn Katy — and she sensibly suggested we abandon our meet-up.
Well, if nothing else it’s a novel excuse!
And it seemed like a good call.
So we relaxed and drank to the teenager’s speedy recovery with a large G&T. But, unlike in days of yore, “meh”-ness was not abated by internal application of gin.
Sleep finally overcame me at about 1AM. And it stayed. And it then couldn’t find its coat to leave. I finally woke up some time after 11AM. Now not just feeling “meh” but also depressed. Bugger!
This last I do not understand; although there must be a genetic something there as my father was the same. He’d not sleep well but then be dead to the world all morning. I remember him being like this even when I was a teenager. Even on non-work days my mother would be up by about 8.30 and around 9-9.30 bring both me and my father cups of tea (in a desperate attempt to get us out of bed). I’d struggle into consciousness and descend by around 10. But not my father. He’d appear at 11, or later, with the words “It’s very odd, I found this cold cup of tea by the bed”.
My father was little better during the week. He’d normally struggle from his bed after 8AM and expect to catch the 8.33 train. (Luckily we lived 3 minutes trot from the station so he usually succeeded.) As a teenager I got so fed up with his frantic approach to mornings that, by choice, I used to get up at 7 and be out to school (just a mile away) before 8AM.
I recognise this now as all being down to depression; depression which didn’t abate as my father got older: he was no better in his 80s than in his 40s.
So anyway … after lunch today I spent and hour lying in the sun in the garden, enjoying warmth and light; and I then spent the rest of the afternoon “jellivating” — just sitting like a lump of jelly doing naff all of any use.

MHH

And now, this evening, after food? Well I’m aware that I’m still depressed, but do feel a bit better for the food and a couple of large bottles of Peroni. With luck tomorrow will bring something less “meh”; which would be good and appreciated.
Meanwhile this whole depression thing is something I really don’t understand. What causes it? Why is it often so sudden and so variable? Why is it there at all? And what can one do it banish it?
With me a part of it is clearly SAD, but not all of it because I still get it in the summer, and always have. And a part of it could well have a genetic basis — as noted above my father was depressive and I’m told his father was as well. Whether there is any more to it I can’t determine. I suspect there is, but I’ve no idea what. Or why.
Nor do I know how to fix any of it. Yes, antidepressants help, but they don’t cure it. Light therapy for the SAD doesn’t seem to work on me; but then I don’t think SAD is the predominant factor.
The best cure is probably amputation at the neck!
Or just shoot me!
[PS. Seems medics aren’t worried about the spread of infectious disease and were relieved that teenager hadn’t acquired malaria. He’s in for a long recovery though.]

personal, sexuality

Five Questions, Series 4 #3

So it’s that time again. Well to tell the truth it was probably than time days ago but who round here is clock-watching? Isn’t retirement all about not having to worry about clocks?
Anyway, yes, it is time for an answer to question three in the latest series of “Five Questions”. So here goes …


Question 3: If you could be the opposite gender for a day, what would you do?
To put it very simply: Fuck.
I’ve always wondered what it is like to be female, and especially to have sex — because it seems to me from the outside that sex is a much different experience for girls than for boys.
More importantly, perhaps, I feel I should know, and would like to know, what it’s like to be female. And I don’t just mean the good bits like fucking, but also the messy bits like periods and childbirth. No I doubtless wouldn’t enjoy those bits, but it’s about understanding as well as having fun.
I’m sure if even 10% of men could experience what it’s like to be female, even for just a few days (and conversely 10% of women experience what it’s like to be male) then we’d understand each other so much better and everything would work so much better. Yes, I know we all have these ideas of what being the opposite gender is like, but I suspect they are mostly delusions. And there’s nothing quite like the real thing.
But yes, basically, if I had only one day, I’d fuck. It might be fun, it might be educational and it might even be lucrative. Sounds like a winner to me. 🙂

beliefs, current affairs, freedom of speech, nudism, personal

The Pornography of David Cameron

So David Cameron is intent on restricting internet access to anything which he deems might in someone’s eyes be pornographic.
This is so prattish and dangerous it makes me angry on just so many levels.
Just who does DC think he is to tell other people what to think, say and look at? How dare he impose his (apparent) morality on anyone else? Imposing one’s morality on someone else is frankly … well … immoral!
This is government censorship. Given that freedom of speech and belief is enshrined in international law, that probably means the UK would be in violation of international law.
A freedom which exists only when it is in accord with your views, is no freedom at all.

f6b79-a 0e033-b

These two images are perfectly legal, and must remain perfectly legal. If you don’t want to see them, don’t look. If you don’t want your kids to see them, take responsibility yourself for looking out for what your kids view.
The proposals are impractical and pretty much unenforceable. Any law which is unenforceable is (a) bad law and (b) a waste of time. It is impractical because of the complexity of the internet and the fact that everyone is not dependent on just one service provider but many.
What is even more worrying is that there is absolutely no evidence to back up the necessity for this. On the lack of evidence see, for example, here, here, here and here.
It’s about time that we let people make up their own minds and take responsibility for their own actions — ie. develop their own sense of morals and responsibility. We’re becoming a nation of the molly-coddled; people who have to have everything done for them; who are unable to think for themselves or cope for themselves; people who cannot cope with adversity. People cannot be protected by outside agencies from all dangers and risks — that way lies a mixture of amorality (because people won’t have to think) and a police state. In the words of Thomas S Monson (Pathways To Perfection):

When we treat people merely as they are, they will remain as they are. When we treat them as if they were what they should be, they will become what they should be.

Goethe says the same:

If we take people only as they are, then we make them worse; if we treat them as if they were what they should be, then we bring them to where they can be brought.

Or looking at it another way, in the words of the great Spanish ‘cellist Pablo Casals:

Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts on it, he is giving a great deal of what it is the world needs most. It is not complicated but it takes courage.

If we want people to be responsible, then we have to treat them as if they are responsible.
Finally, as I’ve said many times before (for example here and especially here) sexuality and nudity need to be normalised, not marginalised and criminalised. Only by doing so are we likely to drastically improve the nation’s overall health and well-being.
It is time to be a leader, not a cow-herd with an electric cattle-prod!
[PS. No of course rape, violence and child abuse are not acceptable; no-one is saying they are! But blanket censorship is not going to get rid of them; it will just drive them further underground and into the hands of the criminal fraternity.]

beliefs, personal

Five Questions, Series 4 #1

Sorry, it’s been too long since I posed the five questions of Series 4, and thus my answer the the first of the questions is long overdue. So here we go …



Question 1: What happens after we die?

Well wouldn’t we all like to know! However it seems to me that this is one thing we can, by definition, never know. That doesn’t mean that all the reports of “near death experiences” are meaningless or imaginary; they may well not be. But clearly, despite appearances, the people experiencing them aren’t actually dead, so they don’t (and in my view never can) tell us what happens after we die.

As a scientist the reality seems to me to be summed up in the words of Genesis 3:19:

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

and the Burial Service from the Book of Common Prayer:

Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life …

(Isn’t that just so much nicer English than all this modern stuff?)

So yes, the scientist in me says that we disintegrate back into the environment for we are no more than a collection of chemicals: earth, dust and ashes.

However … our thoughts can go on: as books, music, art, whatever. In that sense we may be dead but our brains are never buried, never lost, ever immortal.

And yet. And yet there remains that nagging little doubt somewhere deep inside which says that there is some form of reincarnation. Not in the Biblical sense of a Day of Judgement. More perhaps our “soul” (whatever that is) gets chopped up in some way and distributed (with bits of others?) to future beings. Who knows? We can likely never prove it. But it would explain a lot. And it would be a whole lot more fun than earth, dust and ashes.

personal

Five Questions, Series 4

Back in March I promised that we’d have another round of “Five Questions”. Why? Well because thinking about them keeps us on our toes. Besides, I have to have something inane to write about and you really don’t want me writing about tennis, now do you!?

In series four we’re back to the old mix of difficult and slightly silly questions. Well you can treat them all as silly if you wish; they’re chosen so they can be open to daft responses. So take the questions as seriously, or not, as you like.



The five questions for series 4 are:

  1. What happens after we die?
  2. Why are manhole covers round?
  3. If you could be the opposite gender for a day, what would you do?
  4. Is it even possible to create a Utopia?
  5. What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?


Again, like the previous series if you take them seriously I think they’re going to be deceptively tricky. I certainly don’t know exactly how I’m going to answer them all, although I have a few ideas up my sleeve.

Anyway I’ll answer them one at a time over the coming weeks; the first probably later this week.

And as I’ve said before, if anyone has any more good questions, then please send them to me. I’d like to continue to do this two or three times a year so good, but potentially fun, questions are needed.

Watch this space!

beliefs, nudism, personal

Nudity and Children

A few days ago there was a piece in the the Portsmouth News, the local paper for the eponymous city on England’s south coast. The reporter, Liz Bourne, asks “Why do we think nudity is shocking for children?” and comes to the conclusion that it isn’t.

This interested me because, aside from my interest in nudism, local papers are not often known for their liberal views. But here was a balanced and reasonable article which said essentially children aren’t phased by nudity, even when “a little squeamish about wrinkly bits” and we can all understand why some people want to be nude even if it isn’t for us.

Here are the nuts of the article:

In my experience, children love nudity. When very young, two of my children both enjoyed stripping off and flouncing around with the sun on their bare skin. On several occasions my son was known for taking all his clothes off in a rage, usually in the most public of places … Although not encouraged, within reason I did accept it as an expression of their innocence and, in my son’s case, frustration of being restricted by clothing. Now that they are older, they are less keen to bare all. And when news of the naked bike protest was revealed, they were struck with both bemusement and horror.

“Ughh, all those saggy old men”, one declared.
“Won’t they get cold?” was another reaction.

But as a parent of three impressionable children, at no point did I feel the need to sign a petition against the protest. By making a point about nudity being ‘offensive’ and ‘indecent’ aren’t we sexualising it unnecessarily? Children revelling in their own nudity isn’t sexually motivated. And the naked cyclists had other things on their agenda. By protesting against it, isn’t this linking nudity with a sexual element, which is much more skewed?

I explained to the children that the cyclists were protesting against global oil dependency and our inherent car culture, as well as how vulnerable cyclists are on the roads. With this information, they understood the purpose of the nudity and, although still a little squeamish about wrinkly bits, accepted that if this is how some people wish to express themselves, so be it.

The protest took place in the middle of the day — a school day — and passed without incident … for research purposes, I took a couple of snapshots and showed them to the children. The images of blurred buttocks were met with derisory laughter, not shock and outrage. They were more perplexed that I had chosen to go and watch it …

Why anyone would be concerned about such an event I am not sure. Why should we protect our children from nudity? There are so many other things we should be protecting them from — drunk people in the street, dog poo on the pavement and the overpowering stench of celebrity culture in the media … That, in my mind, is much more damaging than seeing a few saggy buttocks on bikes.

Indeed so!

personal, ramblings

Volunteers Week

The week beginning Saturday 1 June is Volunteers Week — an opportunity to celebrate the amazing contribution millions of people make out of their own busy lives each year.

There are many different ways to volunteer from helping out at your child’s school through getting involved with your local hospital’s radio station to doing VSO (Voluntary Service Overseas) in your gap year. Whatever your interests, and however little time you can spare, there is a volunteering opportunity near you.


Why volunteer? Well I know from experience that not only is volunteering immensely satisfying in itself, but you can make a real difference to people. Bring some friendship or comfort to someone lonely, help improve the environment, teach children in a third world country (or just here at home). Almost whatever it is there is an opportunity for you in your local community or much further afield.

And as someone who is involved in running two, totally different, voluntary organisation I know that both small local organisations and national charities are always in need for more people to help. And I also know that volunteers really do make a difference.

There’s a lot, lot more information about volunteering, and Volunteers’ Week, over on the Volunteering England website. Find out what there is near you!

beliefs, personal, pleasures

Random Huggers Day

In addition to everything else Saturday 18 May is Random Huggers Day.

We all like a hug when we’re feeling down and giving people a hug is very special; it is a simple way of expressing love, care and friendship. And it can save lives.

Random Huggers Day was established in 2003 to spread some warmth, love, fun and all the wonderful energy that is in a hug; to spread that special feeling around the world.


There is no charity or corporation involved; Random Huggers Day is just about one human being giving another human being a gift, for nothing!

You can sign up to be a Random Hugger, or just go along to an event in a city near you. You’ll find details oner at .

personal

Mislaid Pussy

I’ve lost my pussy! Yep, somehow we seem to have mislaid a cat! Sally, our small striped tabby cat has been AWOL now for over 24 hours. She was last seen about 11pm on Thursday night on the upstairs landing, but didn’t appear for breakfast yesterday, nor since.

Tabby Tiger
We’ve checked all the known/vaguely possible, apparently (in)accessible, hidey-holes in the house and garden and there’s been no obvious RTA. Noreen has talked to the immediate 15-20 neighbours. Sheds and garages have been checked where possible. There are no obviously empty properties, nor any building work, within at least a couple of hundred metres. However there are lots of inaccessible, overgrown and impassable alleyways.

What is odd is that Sal is a homebody. At 15 neither cat goes out a lot (especially given the tarty girl cats next door and their boyfriends), and Sal has never strayed very far from our garden even when young. And she’s not allowed out the front door, although has been know to sneak out when we don’t have an eagle eye open.

Sunday Morning Lay-in
There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot more one can do. We could put up posters around the street, but I’m never convinced how useful they are. And we ought to talk to the 6 or 8 houses in the next street that back onto us.

Obviously if she turns up we’ll be delighted. But if not, then so be it. Sal was 15 and appeared in good health — even the vet when she was last there a few months ago said he would have thought she was more like 7 or 8 than 15! But we know that cats are often aware when their time is up and wander away to die peacefully somewhere on their own terms — and who should blame them!

personal, ramblings

Me-meme

My friend Katy has challenged us to to do a personal meme. I take up the challenge as it will make me think about who/what I am. So the questions are:

1. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?
2. If you could repeat any age which one would it be?
3. What really scares you?
4. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be?

Now this isn’t going to be easy! But let me try …

1. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?
The trouble is that there are so many things I would like to be different. Would I banish my depression or my excess weight? — both of which are attractive ideas. Or would I plump for £2M in the bank to see me really comfortable for the rest of my days? — equally attractive. Or would I choose to live in a pleasanter environment (though where we are could be a whole lot worse).

Maybe I’ll just plump for having three wishes, then I could have all of the above and more!


2. If you could repeat any age which one would it be?
Oh almost certainly 1972-1976, my post-grad and post-doc years. But only so long as I could do them with the knowledge I have now! They were fun years, and probably my most formative years. I would love to be able to do my doctorate again; I could do it so much better! And similarly with the year I was a post-doc, which I largely buggered up, but which I could do so much better. I could have achieved so much more than I did in those years while still having the fun I did.

3. What really scares you?
Apart from the obvious like dying, being seriously ill and generally becoming decrepit, probably the thing which worries me most (“scare” is maybe a bit OTT) it is running out of money as we get older.

4. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be?
Can I be the Fairy Queen with a magic wand to change both the way the country is run and instill common sense into those who run it? Or maybe I should just be dictator for the day and achieve much the same effect?
But then I’d also like to be a girlie for the day, to know what it really is like from the other side; yes, both the good bits and the bad bits, though this might need more than a day. While I have no great desire to know what periods or brooding a sprog are like I feel I should know. And of course I’d love to know what good sex is like for girlies.

Or then again, in much the same vein as Katy, maybe I could just be me but without the depression, obesity, diabetes, etc. Yes, maybe I’d settle for that.

OK, so I’m not going to nominate people to do this — it’s too hard and too invidious — so if anyone wants to join in either post in the comments or on your blog with a comment to let me know.