Also included: natural fibre protective covering in various colours.
SYSTEM SOFTWARE
Your PC will come pre loaded with one of the following:
• DOS (domestic short hair)
• OS (other short hair)
• MS (mega-soft, installed in units with fuzzy covering)
Conversion to Eunuchs can be done by a simple operation. This is recommended to prevent the proliferation of cheap PC clones.
Bundled Software may include the following: Mortal Kombat, Acrobat, Explorer, and Stuff it Expander.
Your PC will automatically convert from laptop to desktop as needed.
There are no user-serviceable parts inside.
OPERATING YOUR PC
To start up your PC, push the power button (on any electric can opener).
Your PC has an energy-saving mode known as Sleep. Your PC will Sleep automatically if unused for a short period of time, or you may invoke the Sleep mode by placing your PC in a soft, warm area. To wake your PC from Sleep you may press the power button as in Start, shake the mouse, or tap any of the PC’s input devices (see specs).
To perform a Warm Boot: Remove your shoe, then tap the PC gently with your toes.
To perform a Cold Boot: Same technique as for Warm Boot, but leave your shoe on.
To Reboot: Repeat the Warm Boot.
Cleaning your PC: Use only mild soap and water, no solvents. Surface wash only. Total immersion is not recommended. If partial immersion is necessary, wear proper hand and face protection and make sure your PC is fully dry when finished.
Compatibility and Networking: Your PC is designed to independently assess compatibility with other PCs.
Running Eunuchs will generally give your PC greater compatibility with other PCs. It may be necessary to install a fire wall between incompatible PCs as each may attempt to breach the other’s security systems.
Compatible PCs may share thermal energy and cleaning tasks and may network for gaming purposes.
Please note that your PC will be incompatible with units of type BIRD, FISH and RODENT, unless appropriate security measures (such as a fire wall) are installed. Your PC may tolerate one or more DOG units provided they occupy a subordinate position within the hierarchical structure.
Power Requirements: Alternating supply of canned cat food and dry cat food. Direct supply of water. Direct access to solar and thermal energy sources.
TROUBLESHOOTING
PC has difficulty exiting: Perform a Warm Boot.
PC shares files from dinner/table/plates without permission: Boot your PC prior to running food-related software.
PC hangs up phone during call: Try invoking sleep mode prior to making call. Otherwise perform a Warm Boot.
PC is frozen: PC is probably scanning for small life forms. Wait for task to complete or, if necessary Warm Reboot.
Deleted material not going to trash or recycling bin: Reprogram preferences in PC sys/litter box/deposit/target.aim.
Each month this year we’re bringing you a post under the general title “Things that Count in [Number]” where [Number] will be the month. And naturally each month’s post will contain the [Number] of items (so just one for January, up to 12 for December).
For our purposes the definition of counting includes things which either come in groups of [Number] (eg. four suits in a pack of playing cards) or things which count in [Number] (eg. decimal coinage counting in tens).
Each month this year we’re bringing you a post under the general title “Things that Count in [Number]” where [Number] will be the month. And naturally each month’s post will contain the [Number] of items (so just one for January, up to 12 for December).
For our purposes the definition of counting includes things which either come in groups of [Number] (eg. four suits in a pack of playing cards) or things which count in [Number] (eg. decimal coinage counting in tens).
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 10 : Malcolm Bradbury; Rates of Exchange
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 9 : Nick Catford; Burlington: The Central Government Emergency War Headquarters at Corsham
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 8 : Gabriel Chevallier; Clochemerle
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 7 : Latham & Matthews; Diary of Samuel Pepys
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 6 : John Betjeman; High and Low
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 5 : Terry Pratchett; Thief of Time
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Before Christmas I was nominated by Graham Page to post, over 10 days, the covers of 10 Books I’ve Loved, no explanation necessary – just the covers.
This is being spread over the five working days of each of two weeks. I don’t usually tag people on memes, and tagging someone every day (as requested) seems too big an imposition, so to compromise I’m nominating these five people to produce their own list: Alden O’Brien, Keeley Schell, Ivan Hutnik, John Monaghan, Ashley Herum. Of course anyone else is welcome to sing along!
Day 4 : Evelyn Waugh; Black Mischief
Later in the year I hope to follow on with other similar themes. I already have Books I Hated / Can’t Read and Books I Found Influential / Formative lined up. There may be others.
Eccentric looks at life through the thoughts of a retired working thinker
For our purposes the definition of counting includes things which either come in groups of [Number] (eg. four suits in a pack of playing cards) or things which count in [Number] (eg. decimal coinage counting in tens).
