Category Archives: amusements

amusements, beliefs, current affairs, quotes, sexuality, thoughts

Quotes of the Week

Another in our occasional series of quotations encountered during he week which have struck me: because of their zen-ness, their humour, or their verisimilitude.

Although the world’s religions may differ fundamentally from one other in their metaphysical views, when it comes to their teachings on the actual practice of ethics, there is great convergence. All the faith traditions emphasize a virtuous way of being, the purification of the mind from negative thoughts and impulses, the doing of good deeds, and living a meaningful life.
[Dalai Lama]

Don’t forget those irregular verbs like hoggo, piggeri, swini, gruntum.
[pmh {at} cix]

Sex and money: the forked root of evil
[Ross Macdonald, The Drowning Pool]

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
[Tom Robbins]

Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.
[Benny Hill]

amusements, current affairs

Bad Guy Think

© Scott Adams

A couple of excellent, if slightly cynical, quotes from Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert) in an article in the Wall Street Journal, Saturday 5 June on why one should invest in companies you hate (sic).

CEOs are highly skilled in a special form of lying called leadership.

Every investment expert knows two truths about investing: 1) Past performance is no indication of future performance. 2) You need to consider a company’s track record.  Right, yes, those are opposites.

amusements, science, thoughts

Adams Complexity Threshold

The eponymous author of the Scott Adams Blog (yes, that Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert) a couple of days ago wrote a prescient piece about complexity.  It’s worth reading the piece, including the comments, in their entirity. But here’s a taster:

The Adams Complexity Threshold is the point at which something is so complicated it no longer works.

The Gulf oil spill is probably a case of complexity reaching the threshold. It was literally impossible for anyone to know if the oil rig was safe or not. The engineering was too complex. I’m sure management thought it was safe, or hoped it was safe, or hallucinated that it was safe. It wasn’t possible to know for sure …

It’s our nature to blame a specific person for a specific screw-up, but complexity is what guarantees mistakes will happen and won’t be caught …

Complexity is often a natural outgrowth of success. Man-made complexity is simply a combination of things that we figured out how to do right, one layered on top of the other, until failure is achieved.

And from the comments:

I think government has a lot to do with adding complexity. Some failure happens and those in charge feel they have to earn their constituents votes by “doing something.” This usually results in regulations that work as well as the Maginot Line stopped Hitler …

Humans just can’t leave well enough alone. When (insert anything here) works perfectly the human race will re-refine it into incompetence. Why? Because eventually, no matter how incredibly efficient something is there’s always some Wag out there insisting it could be better. Even though there’s no rational reason to tinker with it, eventually people buy into the need for “continuous improvement” until the entire thing collapses …

“In simplicity is power.”

Why is it that so few can see this? Oh, sorry, Emperor’s New Clothes Syndrome.

amusements, science

Picture Imps

Another zany moment from the “Feedback” column of this week’s issue of New Scientist:

[Feedback reader X] tells us that her mother says her new camera works much better “because it has many more pixies than her old one”. Meanwhile, X’s daughter is apparently excited at the discovery that “there are millions of haemogoblins capering round the circulatory system, delivering parcels of oxygen”.

As for X herself, she says she gets along fine in life so long as she’s got her elf (try saying that with a cockney accent). She wonders if other Feedback readers have noticed the presence of similar “differently real” companions in their lives.

amusements, quotes

More Auction Oddities

1 Comment

Another in our occasional series of highlights from our local auction-room catalogues.  [My comments in italic.]

A portrait of two young children, one wearing a plumed hat, with a cat, English School, probably 19th century …
I think we should be told why the cat is sitting on the hat and not the child’s lap.  Or is it dead and just being used instead of a feather in the child’s hat?

A Victorian Sri Lankan colonial overmantel mirror in rare zebra wood, the shield-shaped central plate beneath a fruit carved cornice, flanked by turned columns and leaf shaped mirrors above small display shelves.
It sounds a complete dog’s breakfast; I just can’t picture it.

An antique style silver collar.
That’s all!  A collar for what?  A coat?  A dog?  A vicar?  Mme Whiplash? – oh, sorry, no, she’s the vicar.

A varied interesting lot containing military buttons, badges and dog tags, and a soldier’s service and pay book (1943), autograph book, the works of William Shakespeare, a pair of wooden barleytwist candlesticks, a bejewelled trinket box in the form of a tortoise, picture frames, mixed coinage, brassware, etc.
You just know as soon as you see “a varied interesting lot” it is going to be a collection of toot, but this one was especially, and probably literally, priceless.

A large plated ‘well and tree’ meat dish, two waiters and a syphon stand.
Are the waiters holding up the syphon stand or vice versa?  Are we sure it’s a syphon stand and not a village pump for extracting the meat juices from the well?

A stuffed kingfisher mounted in a circular frame with domed glass.
Why?

2 crocodile skins, 65 ins and 36 ins long.
Start a new fashion: crocodile skin bedroom rugs.

A 19th century Arab Nimcha sword, the multi-fullered straight blade with steel hilt and angular knuckle guard with tracers of damascening, the grip of rhinoceros horn, 38 ins, remains of scabbard.
It was the “remains of scabbard” that finished me; as if this pile of dust makes everything kosher.

An interesting collection of Carlton Ware comprising a farmyard condiment set of farmhouse mustard with cover, barn pepperette and hayrick salt shaker, on circular stand …
This is the piece de resistance!  I almost went to the sale just to look at this hideous sounding cruet.

amusements

Auction Oddities

2 Comments

The description of lots in auction catalogues (especially for provincial auctions) always fascinates – nay boggles the mind – as the brevity leads to some very strange outcomes. Here are some of the (recent) best from one of our local auction houses. [My comments in italic.]

A contemporary acrylic on canvas, spring daisies on storks.
The ornithologists have clearly missed this important undiscovered species of large bird.

A large pair of buffalo horns (approx 2m wide) mounted with original hide head piece.
What else would you mount buffalo horns on?  I suppose possibly an Viking helmet?

A 20th century Eccles Minors Safety lamp in brass and white metal, bearing makers label.
Morris Minors, is that?

Wilfred Williams Ball, British school 1853-1917, a mounted and framed watercolour of a Ford alongside a bridge.
I want to know what model of Ford before I bid for this; ‘cos I really hate the Mondeo.

A ladies’ 1950s 9ct gold cased Tudor cocktail watch, having an integral 9ct gold horseshoe link bracelet with ladder clasp
Clearly I’ve missed something in history; I wasn’t aware that the Tudors had watches or cocktails, let alone 20th century reproductions of them.

A Japanese Meiji carved ivory figure of a Geisha holding a fan and parasol wearing a kimono.
Where can I buy a kimono for my parasol?

A Queen Anne style humpback wing armchair, with out-swept arms raised on deep shouldered cabriole legs.
There’s some strange anatomy going on here.  Shoulders with legs?  Cabriole legs at that!

A pair of reconstituted Corinthian columns.
Presumably one buys them in a packet from the supermarket and reconstitutes them with asses milk.

amusements, current affairs, topographical

Unseemly Mess

3 Comments

So the great British people (well about 65% of them) have spoken through the ballot box.  The outcome reminds me rather of two things:

(a) A small Afghan puppy invented by Frank Muir: What-a-mess

(b) The Victorian hatter’s advert: You may have it cocked up in the latest style.

I’m still predicting a Labour-LibDem minority government with another general election probably next February but may be as early as October/November.

Unedifying.  But that’s democracy.