All posts by Keith

I’m a controversialist and catalyst, quietly enabling others to develop by providing different ideas and views of the world. Born in London in the early 1950s and initially trained as a research chemist I retired as a senior project manager after 35 years in the IT industry. Retirement is about community give-back and finding some equilibrium. Founder and Honorary Secretary of the Anthony Powell Society. Chairman of my GP's patient group.
amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. V.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

V. The Sun Inn

Amber’s the Ale, the brewery’s best,
Poured by the Barmaid, a magnificent chest.

The Cider’s refreshing; the girls drink in sips;
While Tom’s Dog goes begging for peanuts and chips.

‘Ere is young Emma who always wears clogs,
And sits by the Fire, made up with good logs.

All the fine Glass is so sparkling and clear,
And still we’ve the Hat, which was left here last year.

Ice is in cubes – no, not in my beer!
There’s a jang-e-ly jukebox we wish wasn’t here.

Cute is yon Katy whose hair is dyed pink,
Thus deceiving the Lager that only poofs drink.

There’s food on the Menu, good pies do abound,
While Nuts is the cat who’s always around.

There is Old Arthur, still sucking his pipe,
And Polly, Stan’s Parrot, who’s language is ripe.

Lend me a Quid, I need five for a beer,
And top up Miss Rosie, who’s everyone’s dear.

The Snug at the back’s where the old ‘uns hold court,
Draining the Tankards which each of them brought.

There’s yeuchy Urinals where water we pass,
After drinking the Vino, that’s sold by the glass.

Wee is the Widow, still hearty and hale,
Sipping her 5X, a lovely strong ale.

The Young and the Yoof, so noisy and loud,
Still treasure Zog, our mascot, so proud.

Piece VI will appear on Tuesday 4 May.

quotes

Monthly Quotes

This month’s round up of miscellaneous quotes …

Technology is neither good nor bad; nor is it neutral. Technical developments frequently have environmental, social and human consequences that go far beyond the immediate purposes of the technical devices.
[Melvin Kranzberg, computing historian]

At Eton I used to play rugger
At Oxford I learned how to punt
Some say I’m a bit of a bugger
But most people think I’m a fool
[https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson_MP/status/1373592915130380291]

The gloating on this side of the Channel cannot disguise for long that Brexit is an unmitigated disaster, from which all this “Global Britain” stuff is a pathetic distraction.
[William Keegan; Guardian; 21/03/2021]

The behaviour of any bureaucratic organisation can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.
[Robert Conquest’s third law of politics]

[Renee] Cox [a NY artist] credits her French husband’s family for giving her an ease with her body. “When I met him … his parents were naturists. We spent six weeks in a nudist camp in Corsica. The first three days were a little bizarre. After that, you don’t even pay attention to it any more.”
[https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2021/mar/03/pubic-hair-paintings-living-room-womens-sexuality-right-to-pleasure-camera-vagina]

He can … spend his time figuring out just what it is that grown men do dressed in Alan Partridge style sports casual clothing wandering around with a bag of sticks.
[Katy Wheatley; https://katyboo1.wordpress.com/2021/03/29/monday-29th-march-2021/]

Of course, what people seem to forget about reshuffles is that politicians are essentially interchangeable government marketing units.
[https://twitter.com/YesSirHumphrey/status/1378321711486095363]

Golf: a plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man’s sins.
[James Barrett Reston]

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains.
Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
[Shelly, Ozymandias]

Do as your heart commands while you are upon the earth [because] mourning rescues no man from the netherworld!
[Ancient Egyptian funerary song]

Make merry,
Do not weary of it!
Look, no one is allowed to take his possessions with him.
Look, no one who departs returns!
[Ancient Egyptian funerary song]

Linear time just seems so restrictive, even wasteful … We may have grown accustomed to strict chronological oppression, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it.
[Katie Mack, The End of Everything]

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn’t try it on.
[Billy Connolly]

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. IV.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

IV. The Village Stores

A-2-Z Stores serves every and each,
Selling Bananas and Butter and Bleach.

Cheese just so special; Charcoal for the grill;
Detergent’s essential; Daffs for the thrill.

Ed sells no cake, nor bread, meat or fish
Frozen excepted, and Fruit for the dish.

The Fruit Gums are tasty; the kiddies they please,
And so is the Honey, from Freddie’s good bees.

There’s flavoursome Ice Cream, local and good,
With extra pink Jelly for trifle or pud.

The Kale it is rough, only good for the sheep;
Loo paper’s essential, and Ed sells it cheap.

There’s Milk and there’s Mops and even some Macs,
While the Nails and the Screws are in little packs.

There’s Olives and Oils, mostly pressed out of seeds,
And the little Post Office will serve all your needs.

There’s seldom a Queue, it never tops four,
There’s Rice as a staple for puddings and more.

Sandpaper, Sugar, and Seeds for our patch,
Plus trays of the Toffee Jill makes by the batch.

Greasy an Unction for toenails ingrown,
And varietal Veggies, most locally grown.

You need a new permit to fish by the Weir,
And Xmas is coming, no glitter this year.

Live are the Yoghurt, and Yeast, but more yet,
Zee are the last things we mustn’t forget.

Piece V will appear on Monday 26 April.

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. III.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

III. The Church of St George

Green is the Altar, a table, today,
And Ben is our Bishop, who’ll visit one day.

Blessed is the Candle, with book and with bell,
Helping the Dean, send demons to Hell.

Eddie’s an Eagle, he’s made out of brass,
Admiring the Flowers, arranged by Miss Glass.

Stained is the Glass in the windows so bright,
Which with our Hymns, sends joy to the height.

Heavenly Incense, clouds flying like geese,
Blessing the Jurats, for keeping the peace.

Stout are the Kingposts supporting the roof,
Above the brass Lectern – that Eagle’ aloof!

We always hear Mass, we’re High Church round here,
Suiting the Nuns from the Convent quite near.

Ann is our Organist, ever adept,
While safe is the Pyx, where the Host it is kept.

The Quad is quite early, ’tis the cloister you see,
While the Rood was replaced in 1603.

Small is our Spire, barely reaching the sky,
On top of the Tower from which the bats fly.

You Unbelievers are certain for Hell,
And so is the Vandal, he’ll go there as well.

There’s Wilma the Witch who never comes near,
While X is we Christians, faithful and clear.

Uncaring the Yob, with hardly a nod,
Unlike the Zealot, ever speaking to God.

Piece IV will appear on Monday 19 April.

amusements, memes

Ten Things: April

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Ficticious Books from Anthony Powell’s A Dance to the Music of Time

  1. Ada Leintwardine; The Bitch Pack Meets on Wednesday
  2. David Pennistone; Descartes, Gassendi and the Atomic Theory of Epicurus
  3. Evadne Clapham; The Pistons of our Locomotives Sing the Songs of Our Workers (retitled as Engine Melody)
  4. St John Clarke; Fields of Amaranth (see right)
  5. Vernon Gainsborough; Bronstein Marxist or Mystagogue?
  6. X Trapnel; Dogs Have No Uncles
  7. Russell Gwinnett; The Gothic Symbolism of Mortality in the Texture of Jacobean Stagecraft
  8. Quentin Shuckerly; Athletes Footmen
  9. Mark Members; Kleist, Marx, Sartre, The Existential Equilibrium
  10. Revd Salathiel Brightman; Attick and Roman Reckonings of Capacity for Things Liquid and Things Dry reduced to the Common English Mensuration for Wine and Corn
amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. II.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

II. Village People

Anthony, the Squire, lives up at “The Mares”,
While Bernard, our doctor, lives at “Three Bears”.

Cathy is new here, she teaches our school,
With pretty Denise, our champion at boule.

Ed is a twin, he runs the small store,
Bro’ Fred’s been our postman for ever and more.

George is a farmer, with sheep by the score,
Which Harry the butcher will bring to your door.

Grumpy old Ivy, is ever so prim,
While John, who’s retired, keeps our gardens in trim.

Ken and his trumpet, play jazz on the beach,
In duo with Lisa, a lovely young peach.

There’s Father O’Michael, our vicar for years,
And Nick, the bookseller, who likes a few beers.

Oh, here is Oscar, he’s just three years old,
And Poppy, just sixteen, already so bold.

Quarrelsome Quentin’s, the Squire’s youngest son,
While Roger’s our baker, always up with the sun.

Big Sergeant Stan, is mine host at The Sun,
With tiny Theresa, his wife with a bun.

An enigma is Uncle, we don’t know his name,
Who lives next to Vi, a feisty old dame.

Willowy Wendy, see how she can dance!
Partnering Xavier, an import from France.

Yvonne the alto sings a good song,
And Zeb is the Blacksmith, all brawny and strong.

Piece III will appear on Tuesday 13 April.

amusements, memes

Things to Think About: April

This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:

Do twins ever realise that one of them is unplanned?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

environment, history, links, medical, natural history, science, sexuality

Monthly Links

OMG! Have we got a packed full box of links to items you may have missed this month. So let’s dive in …

Science, Technology, Natural World

Why do we find the quantum world weird? According to Carlo Rovelli we wouldn’t if we accepted that objects don’t exist. Prepare to have your mind addled! [LONG READ] [£££]

According to one expert extra-terrestrial life may not be all that alien.

Most of us have heard about near death experiences, and some have experienced them … but what do they mean? [LONG READ]

On carrots, colour, chemistry and vision.

Covid-19 variants may be causing heart problems in pets.

Catnip repels insects (and is loved by many cats). Scientists are beginning to unravel how the insect repellent action works.

Years ago, the Horniman Museum in south London bought a piece of rock, and unknowingly imported some prolifically breeding small shrimp with it. So they were feeding the shrimp to many of their fish. Turns out the shrimp was a hitherto unknown species!

Meanwhile Japanese scientists have looked at the bacteria in 100 million-year-old ocean sediment cores … and found the bacteria they contain can be brought back to life!

How does an octopus sleep? With short bursts of frenzied and colourful REM-like sleep.

From water … to air … Wisdom the albatross, the world’s oldest known wild bird, has another chick at age 70.

… to land … It is generally accepted that Tasmanian Tigers are extinct. But people still think they see them and that they’re still alive.

Health, Medicine

It is becoming well understood that reproductive problems in both men and women are increasingly common. Hormone disrupting chemicals in the environment seem to be at least partly to blame. [£££]

Sexuality

A look at asexuality and its recent increase.

While at the other end of the scale, many of us have declining libido, and want it back …

… One way might be to hang pubic hair paintings in your living room. [LONG READ]

Environment

New bye-laws ban trawl fishing off the Sussex coast with the aim of allowing the kelp forests to regenerate.

10 years on there have been a number of review articles about the 2011 Fukushima disaster. Here is a selection:
•  Japan marks 10 years since the disaster killed 18,500 people.
•  What happened at the nuclear plant?
•  How locals are returning after nuclear disaster. [£££]
•  UN report says Fukushima radiation did not damage health of local people.
•  But one ocean scientist is still worried.

History, Archaeology, Anthropology

Archaeologists in Egypt have found what may be the world’s oldest pet cemetery.

Scientists thing they’ve finally unlocked the secrets of the Antikythera Mechanism using computer modelling.

You always wanted to know the grisly details of Roman murder, didn’t you?

Still in Roman times … it has been calculated that when Vesuvius erupted in 79AD it killed the inhabitants of Pompeii in 15 minutes.

A group in Ireland is attempting to revive the ancient tradition of the sheela na gig.

On the Before- and After-Times.

Two looks at what chivalry is, and the dearth of whte knights.

Workmen at Tintern, in the Wye Valley, have found a hitherto unknown medieval tunnel system.

A look at the role of 14th-century working women in southern France.

On the other hand, medieval women put faith in things like birth girdles to protect them during childbirth.

On the crapness of medieval pickup lines.

A short life expectancy in days of yore is a myth – lots died as children, but survive that and many lived into old age. [LONG READ]

The National Archives have documents about the Gunpowder Plot written in invisible ink (lemon/orange juice).

Until the advent of the envelope in the western world letters were sealed by a technique called letterlocking. Researchers have now worked out how to use X-rays to read these letters without breaking the seals.

Charles II’s mistress Hortense Mancini was a trend-setter ahead of her time.

Food, Drink

Seafood fraud is happening on a global scale and sleuths are using DNA techniques to fight back. Meanwhile, how good are you at spotting whether your fish a fake?

Lifestyle, Personal Development, Beliefs

It is time that men got a grip and made a stand to end violence against women (and men!).

One woman’s experience of the evolution of nude black women in art. [LONG READ]

Shock, Horror, Humour, Wow!

And finally a pair of researchers have worked out how to make a hippogriff and angels that could fly. [£££]

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. I.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

I. Introduction and Allegro

Our Village is Ancient, it’s in Domesday you see,
We’ve Butcher and Baker and Blacksmith all three.

In summer there’s Cricket played on the Green,
A mile from the Deer Park, once owned by the Queen.

“End Cottage” is famous, it’s covered in bloom,
When Furrily Fair is held every June.

Our Church of St George dates from 1053,
While the Hall was brand new for Queen Vic’s Jubilee.

The “Ink Wells” they date from age of the quill,
But after “Jack’s Mill”, on the top of Fog Hill.

King George gave the Oak Tree in 1802,
It’s nearby the Library – managed by Lou.

“The Mares” is the Manor, the Squire’s big hutch,
There’s also the Nudists – they don’t bother us much.

Old Ozzy Gee brings fresh fish from the sea,
To sell at the Pump, where the gossip is free.

Noisy’s the Quarry that’s over by Krigg:
Stone for the “Rectory”, sprawling and big.

The Sea and the Beach are five miles away,
But here is our Teashop run by fair May.

Spooky the “Under Caves”, it’s said there are nine,
They’re under the “The Vaults” where Matilda sells wine.

We think there’s some Wiccans, but no-one’s quite sure,
Though X marks the Crossroads, with gibbet of yore.

“The Yews” are alms houses, 200 years old,
But new is the Zodiac Maze by “The Fold”.

Piece II will appear on Tuesday 6 April.