All posts by Keith

I’m a controversialist and catalyst, quietly enabling others to develop by providing different ideas and views of the world. Born in London in the early 1950s and initially trained as a research chemist I retired as a senior project manager after 35 years in the IT industry. Retirement is about community give-back and finding some equilibrium. Founder and Honorary Secretary of the Anthony Powell Society. Chairman of my GP's patient group.

Five Questions, Series 8

OMG it is over a year since I started the last round of Five Questions. So at long last I bring you another series.
Here in Series 8 we have a slightly more serious group of questions — although I don’t guarantee entirely serious answers. So without more ado …

★★★★★

The five questions for Series 8 are:

  1. Can we understand everything?
  2. Give me an unpopular opinion you have
  3. Is masturbation a homosexual act?
  4. Would you ever admit to being racist?
  5. If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only two words?


Unlike the last series, I will post answers on a regular basis, because I’ve decided to write the answers up front, probably before this post even goes live! Yes, I know it’s cheating. But so what?
As always you’re all invited to sing along — I’d like it if you all joined in! You can either answer the questions, as I answer them, by posting in the comments or by posting your answers on your own blog (in which case just leave a comment here so we can find your words of wisdom).
The answer to Question 1 should appear in a couple of days time and then they’ll be at roughly weekly intervals.
Enjoy!

Oddity of the Week: Tube Announcements

This week we’re stretching the definition of “oddity” a little more than usual.
Last year Londonist published a couple of selections of amusing announcements London Underground tube train drivers have made over their tannoy systems. Here is a selection of the best …
Sorry for the delay, we are just waiting to clear a drunk dancing topless man from the tunnel.
Would the guy with the piano accordion please put your trousers back on.
Apologies for the delay but we have lost the driver.
We are currently experiencing delays on the Northern line due to a handbag on the line at Bank.
Ladies and gentleman, upon departing the train, may I remind you to take your rubbish with you. Despite the fact that you are in something that is metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train for public transport and not a bin on wheels.
Please do not obstruct the closing doors. Specifically, please do not use your children as a wedge to hold the doors open.


Please keep your kids with you at all times. Even the annoying ones.
Don’t forget to take your children and livestock with you.
Please let passengers off the train before boarding. It’s not the storming of the Bastille you know.
There’s a dog on the line ahead. They’ve sent a manager to rescue it. That’s not going to help.
[10 minutes later]
The dog is now at Plaistow. So it’s making better time than us.
This train is early and is now being delayed so that it is late. I don’t understand this either.
Mind your fingers, mind your toes, watch the doors, they’re gonna close.
I can assure the passenger in the second carriage that it is not raining in the train. Please put your umbrella down.
For those of you alighting here at Willesden Junction, welcome back to paradise.
There are lots more here and here.

Brexit Reprise

Following on from my earlier post To Brexit or Not to Brexit, there was an interesting article by Stephen Curry in the Guardian on Monday 23 May under the banner

Why I am wrong about Brexit, and you are too

The crux of his argument is that we can never actually be right, because there are too many variables and unknowns. Indeed it is as he quotes Kathryn Schulz: “the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of Error: we can be wrong or we can know it, but we can’t do both at the same time“.
In other words we can either “know we’re wrong” or “are wrong but think we’re right” so we have real problems making reliable judgements about anything. Which really goes back to what I’ve always maintained:

  1. You can never have all the information required to make a decision; if you had all the information it would be a fait accompli not a decision.
  2. No-one sets out to make a bad (aka. wrong) decision. We make the best decision we can with the information we have at the time. And that information includes the price of herrings, Granny’s favourite breakfast cereal and the predilections of your brain.

As Curry also says: “We are hardwired to make snap judgements based on limited information“.


Ah, you say, but we have experts to guide us. Well yes, up to a point Lord Copper. To quote Curry again:

I don’t have the time to figure all this stuff out for myself, and so I have to rely on the experts … The trouble with experts or authority figures is that people will tend to accept or reject those who are in sympathy with their prejudices … the real aim of [academic experts] is to argue from authority. The same goes for … business leaders … economists, and even … leading luvvies. These messages don’t challenge strongly held views. Rather they offer the comfort of expert blessing … for opinions that are inevitably formed from incomplete information. At best they will nudge a few undecideds from the fence but the rest of us simply feel validated and carry on undeflected.

So the bottom line is that you have to make up your own mind, on incomplete (or even misleading) information, and hope that you’re as little wrong as possible. And Curry helpfully suggests a few websites which appear (and I use “appear” deliberately) to be relatively impartial to help you decide on the facts. The most useful are probably:
Fullfact.org, a non-partisan fact-checking charity, and
the analysis produced by the Libraries of the House of Commons and the House of Lords.
Good luck … you’re going to need it!

More Auction Amusements

Here’s another in our series of the strange and weird from our local auction house.
Left’s start off with something which is an occasional visitor, but turns up in a flock in this sale: stuffed birds (all separate lots) …
A stuffed songbird on a branch in a Victorian glass cabinet
A taxidermy barn owl in shrubs, under glass dome on mahogany base
A taxidermy barn owl on tree stump under glass dome on mahogany stand
Taxidermy: a Hen Harrier on wooden base under glass dome
A taxidermy kestrel on rocky base in glass and wooden case

Followed quickly by …
A rare mounted vintage animal head, probably a blackbuck, with one with normal horn, the other withered, on a wooden shield, with fragmentary taxidermist label from Byculla, Bombay
But then …
Two goatskin rugs, unused
The goats must have been mighty cold!
After which we sadly have to descend into the relatively ordinary …
A collection of cigarette cards; (some in albums) on the topics of dogs, The Reign of King George V, motor cars, railway engines, etc. also loose cards including fish, English period costumes, History of Army uniforms, Typhoo tea cards, ‘Cellarius’s Ancient Atlas New edition 1835’, and a leather bound album of old photographs concealing a hidden musical box
An Elizabeth II silver clown orchestra of five musicians, each performing on loaded circular base, 6″ and smaller, London import marks for 1974
An antique brass turban box plus a Johnson and Ravey brass cased mechanical spit
A large decorative silver coloured vase, a decorative bird in cage, a silver plated hinged pen box plus other decorative ethnic bowls, jars and dishes
A good selection of vintage shoe horns to include one Bakelite and metal, plus oriental leather canvas and beaded shoes, etc.
A collection of animal figurines including a large zebra, frogs, parrot, a Russian horse, cats, and a collection of Laurel & Hardy fridge magnets, a Nao figurine of a girl, and a Beswick figure of a Robin.
A large pale [sic] and lid [actually it’s a churn, not a pail] plus two further smaller pales [sic] with handles, and another, also a wicker log basket
An antique oriental bronze temple
In pieces!
An unusual Edward VIII commemorative toilet roll holder, circa 1936, with an unopened pack of Tri-Sol medicated toilet paper (price 6d), together with twelve Wedgwood Edme undecorated coffee cups and saucers
An interesting Chinese bronze large cover, possibly to a brazier, Ming dynasty or later, cast with the eight trigrams and with inscriptions, with two handles, 39 cms across
Just the lid; nothing to go with it!
A box of old fishing floats, several glass and wrought iron table lamps, a box of wooden items including animal figurines and boxes, a quantity of old horse shoes, a box of vintage tins, some commemorative, and a box of glassware including pressed coloured glass and a Cornishware storage jar and cover, plus others
A charming lot comprising a handsome Marks Garage, lot also includes a small quantity of vehicles, some boxed including a Corgi Toys Bentley Continental Sports Saloon, a Corgi Classic 9031 Renault, unboxed vehicles include a Ford Zephyr, by Meccano, a Dinky Aveling-Barford and a yellow Dinky Super Toy Mobile Crane, lot also contains a silver plated tea pot on stand and milk jug and sugar bowl, etc.
A Vintage ‘BP Zoom’ metal petrol pump
An unusual garden ornament in the form of an obelisk on concrete plinth
A vintage Agricastriol hand delivery pump for oil in original green cabinet
And finally three things I never thought to see, and certainly ot away from the big auction houses …
A single manual harpsichord by William Dowd, Paris 1975, in a blue painted case with gold line decoration, the sound board painted with flowers and raised on a turned painted stand. This lot comes with a padded removers case, a small leather attaché case of tools and a red pouch of tools.
A two manual harpsichord by William Dowd, Paris 1975, the blue painted case with gold line decoration raised on stop fluted tapering legs. This instrument comes with a padded removers case and a red pouch of tools.
And especially …
A Brookes Champion Standard B17 reproduction penny farthing

After the Storm

Nude girls perform Shakespeare’s The Tempest in New York’s Central Park. Which is absolutely brilliant. Good on them. It just goes to show there is sanity and common-sense around and this should be encouraged — and not just those with the courage to perform but the vast majority of the audience too.


As you all know by now I strongly believe that nudity needs to be normalised rather than marginalised. More of the likes of this would do a lot to help.

Tramps with Bazookas

There was a highly amusing, but actually quite serious, piece in the Guardian on Tuesday (17 May) from comedian Frankie Boyle. It went under the headline

Persuading Britain to spend billions on Trident is like convincing a tramp to buy a bazooka

Which tells you precisely what it is about.
It’s well worth reading.

Oddity of the Week: Street Names

This week we’ll take a quick look at street names. Not just any street names but the less salubrious ones that could have been found in historic London.
John Rocque’s 1746 map of London, a brilliant resource, shows an absolute warren of little alleys, courts and slightly larger lanes. Many, of course, took their names from local inns, churches, commercial establishments or trades. Hence …
Thread Needle Street, which now houses the Bank of England.
Black Friars, named for the nearby monastery.
Of Alley (near Strand) which is one of a group of streets named for the various components of landowner George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham’s name and title.
Dunghill Mews, off Trafalgar Square, which is now the site of the Canadian High Commission.
Whore’s Nest, a self-explanatory name of a courtyard in Southwark along with the nearby Dirty Lane, Foul Lane and Little Cock Alley.
And then, of course there are the even more ribald. London was not the only place to sport a Gropecunt Lane, in fact London apparently had several so named. To which we can only add Shitteborwelane (now Sherborne Lane) off the now King William Street, which was so named to the vast amounts of ordure it once contained.
But one of my favourites, and not at all salacious, is the relatively recent Ha-Ha Road in Greenwich.


The Londonist has more!