All posts by Keith

I’m a controversialist and catalyst, quietly enabling others to develop by providing different ideas and views of the world. Born in London in the early 1950s and initially trained as a research chemist I retired as a senior project manager after 35 years in the IT industry. Retirement is about community give-back and finding some equilibrium. Founder and Honorary Secretary of the Anthony Powell Society. Chairman of my GP's patient group.

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 3

Weekly update on my 100 Days of Haiku challenge. Not such a good week, this wek, as I’ve struggled much more for inspiration, but here’s this week’s selection (one a day).

Monday 15 July
Small roach, I feared!
Closer look in shower shows
just a tiny moth.

Tuesday 16 July
Grey shape, movement in
silver birch. Camouflaged
squirrel eating shoots.

Wednesday 17 July
Red golden glows the
moon eclipse through lacy trees.
Such speechless beauty.

Thursday 18 July
A lady’s pretty
cunt glimpsed beneath a skirt.
Such rare delight.

Friday 19 July
Bold Samuel Pepys
much drinking and wenching did;
but bad boy done good.

Saturday 20 July
Soft rain, heavy rain:
wring out the returning cats
many times today.

Sunday 21 July
Flashing red and white:
a Red Admiral supping
Buddleia’s nectar.

And the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
1 16
2 28
3 33

More next week.

Monthly Quotes

In between everything else this month, I’ve still managed to spot quite a few interesting or amusing quotes …


A stupid person is more dangerous than a bandit … Stupid people cause losses to other people with no counterpart of gains on their own account. Thus society as a whole is impoverished.
[Carlo Cipolla, essay “The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity”]


Treat yourself the way you would treat a small child.
Feed yourself healthy food.
Make sure you spend time outside.
Put yourself to bed early.
Let yourself take naps.
Don’t say mean things to yourself.
Don’t put yourself in danger.

[unknown]


Jim Hacker: “I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country. The Times is read by people who actually run the country. The Guardian is read by people who know they don’t run the country but think they ought to. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by people who own the country. The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country and the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.”
Sir Humphrey: “What about the people who read the Sun?”
Bernard: “They don’t care who runs the country as long as she’s got big tits.”

[Yes Prime Minister]


A cover up? Certainly not! It is responsible discretion exercised in the national interest to prevent unnecessary disclosure of eminently justifiable procedures in which untimely revelation could severely impair public confidence.
[Yes Prime Minister]


Bernard, a good speech isn’t one where we can prove the minister’s telling the truth. It’s one in which nobody else can prove he’s lying.
[Yes Prime Minister]


“We don’t think our study is practically useful for society, but we hope that it will contribute to our understanding of the symmetric beauty in nature.”
[Munetaka Sugiyama quoted in Smithsonian Magazine]


By upholding international human rights principles, the rule of law is key to closing the gap between human rights aspirations and human rights realities, and to promoting and protecting human rights. We see how the rule of law operationalises human rights through constitutional and legal protections of human rights, an independent and impartial judicial system, effective legal remedies, and competent, accountable and inclusive institutions.
The rule of law has a role in preventing violence … as well as protecting human rights. We are mindful that societies in which human rights are valued, and people are empowered and listened to, are more likely to be just, fair, stable and free from violence. In this session … we take the opportunity to stress the importance of the rule of law in enshrining equality before the law, access to justice, and participation in decision making on the basis of equality, thereby empowering the whole of society.

[UK government statement (19 June 2017) to the 35th Session of the UN Human Rights Council. I just wish they behaved as if they believed it.]


Unexpected guests
receive unexpected views.
(Who wears pants at home?)

[Courtney Symonds]


Or just be a decent person first because that’s like literally the first requirement for anything at all. Be it just friendship, a nice conversation with a stranger, a night of fun, a serious relationship, a not serious relationship. They all start with being a decent human.
[@Suhaila]


In the later stages of its natural career, the academic will sometimes leave their pack without warning, find a obscure hill, and choose to die on it in defiance of all reason. Scientists are uncertain if this tragic death ritual serves any adaptive purpose.
[Danielle Navarro]


When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
[Jimi Hendrix]


CLERKENWELL.
FISHING WITHOUT A ROD OR NET. Edward White, 15, a blindmaker’s apprentice, of Victor-road, Holloway, was charged, before Mr. Hosack, with fishing with a hook and line in the lake at Finsbury Park, contrary to the bye-laws of the Metropolitan Board of Works. It was stated on behalf of the Board of Works that the boy was charged under the 7th bye-law, which forbids fishing in the lake. A Park Constable proved having seen the lad fishing with a line which had a hook at the end of it. In answer to the Magistrate, the Witness admitted that the Defendant had neither a rod nor a net. Mr. Hosack said the bye-laws said nothing about fishing with a line, but only with a “rod or net”. The contrivance used by the Defendant did not therefore, come within the bye-law. The boy was then discharged, amid considerable laughter.

[Press report; source & date unknown. H/T @IanVisits]


It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.
[Upton Sinclair, 1934]


Norman saw on English oak.
On English neck a Norman yoke;
Norman spoon to English dish,
And England ruled as Normans wish;
Blithe world in England never will be more,
Till England’s rid of all the four.

[Sir Walter Scott]


You can lead a horse to water but you can’t climb a ladder with a rabbit in each hand.
[Bob Mortimer]


100 Days of Haiku, Episode 2

As promised, a weekly update on my progress through my 100 Days of Haiku challenge.

My target is to write at least one haiku each day. In week one I churned out 16, although not all were good. This week, week two, I’ve written 28 – again not all good – and I have a few ideas on the stocks. Here is a selection, one a day, from this week.

Monday 8 July
Always branded bad:
erotic, pornography,
essential for life.

Tuesday 9 July
Sunny windowsill;
solar-charging cat dozing.
Night out spent mousing.

Wednesday 10 July
Dryad of wormwood,
halucinogenical.
Fay green absinthe.

Thursday 11 July
Awakening to
pigeon’s morning serenade.
Warm snugly lover.

Friday 12 July
Foot pain go away
though treatment more painful.
Attractive masseuse.

Saturday 13 July
Cool evening breeze
wafts away humid summer
sunshine and warmth.

Sunday 14 July
Catnip stuffed fish.
Hallucinogen causes
spaced out pussy.

So let’s keep a tally of how many we write each week:

Week Haiku
1 16
2 28

We’ll have another instalment next week.

Ten Things, July

This year our Ten Things series is focusing on each month in turn. The Ten Things may include facts about the month, momentous events that happened, personal things, and any other idiocy I feel like – just because I can. So here are …

Ten Things about July

  1. Start of UK school holidays
  2. The month was renamed by Roman Senate in honour of Julius Caesar
  3. Annual Swan Upping to count the Queen’s swans on the River Thames
  4. St Swithin’s Day
  5. Whitstable Oyster Festival
  6. Fence Month: the closed season for deer in England
  7. In 1799 a French soldier discovers Rosetta Stone
  8. Bikini first showcased in Paris in 1946 (right)
  9. First Moon walk in 1969
  10. Birth of Dr John Dee, Elizabethan scientist and magician

100 Days of Haiku

As I have nothing else to do (joke!), and wanting to add something to my woeful practice of mindfulness, I have set myself a little challenge:

To write at least one haiku a day for 100 consecutive days.

What are haiku? Haiku is a Japanese verse in three lines with 5, 7 and 5 syllables respectively. Traditionally haiku are mood poems and don’t use any metaphors or similes; however beginners, like me, are usually start with just the restriction of the number of lines and syllables. There are many online collections of haiku, for example here, including those of the Japanese master Matsuo Basho.

I started this challenge last Monday, so I’m now seven days in and it is time to record the first results. In total I have written 16 haiku in the seven days – some good, many not so good. Here is one from each day showing a variety of ideas and subjects.

Monday 1 July
Cicadas singing
Long through sultry summer nights.
Thunder before dawn.

Tuesday 2 July
Sunshine streaming in
windows open wide for air.
Why such depression?

Wednesday 3 July
Hickory dickory dog,
rough enough through cough, lough and chough.
Cork works porky quark.

Thursday 4 July
Useful man, Paddy:
Build, fix, repair, recycle.
Moonshine of the bog.

Friday 5 July
Wispy cirrus cloud
Against Dutchman trouser blue.
Metal bird glides by.

Saturday 6 July
Sticky, sticky day
Energy drained away.
Starry, starry night.

Sunday 7 July
Seven round a table;
Friends’ dinner party makes mirth.
Mountainous paella.

Well no-one said that haiku had to make sense – at least not modern haiku; the traditional style seems more rigid!

I’m not going to post an offering every day, as some proponents of 100 day challenges do, but I shall attempt to post at least weekly updates. And I’m logging all the output, whether posted here or not, so who knows what might happen at the end.

Leisure

Another of the short poems we read at my mother’s funeral was this. Again it captures my mother’s quiet delight in the natural world.

Leisure
By WH Davies

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

WH Davies (1871-1940) spent a significant part of his life as a tramp in both the UK and USA, but became one of the most popular poets of his time.

Nice Mice

For no obvious reason I was recalling, the other evening, one of the short poems we read at my mother’s funeral back in June 2015.

As some here will know she was a great nature lover, and unbeknown to anyone some while before she died she had been feeding a small mouse which lived under the bath in the en suite of her care home room. Everyone at the care home loved my mother; however Rosie, the care home’s lovely manager, when she found out about the mouse went fairly ballistic – quite understandably. So when we read this poem at the funeral, Rosie absolutely cracked up.

Here’s the poem …

Mice
By Rose Fyleman

I think mice are rather nice;
Their tails are long, their faces small;
They haven’t any chins at all.
Their ears are pink, their teeth are white,
They run about the house at night;
They nibble things they shouldn’t touch,
and no one seems to like them much,
but I think mice are nice!

Rose Fyleman (1877-1957) is most famous for her poem There are Fairies at the Bottom of Our Garden.

Counters

Each month this year we’re bringing you a post under the general title “Things that Count in [Number]” where [Number] will be the month. And naturally each month’s post will contain the [Number] of items (so just one for January, up to 12 for December).

For our purposes the definition of counting includes things which either come in groups of [Number] (eg. four suits in a pack of playing cards) or things which count in [Number] (eg. decimal coinage counting in tens).

Things which Count in Seven …

  1. Deadly sins
  2. Swans a-swimming
  3. Colours of the rainbow
  4. Wonders of the world
  5. Chakras
  6. Petals on a lotus flower
  7. Dwarfs

Monthly Links

Another month comes to a close so it is time for links to items you may have missed, but which I didn’t and collected for you!

Science, Technology & Natural World

Some elements amongst the physics community are determined that an even bigger particle collider than the current LHC at CERN is an utter waste of money.

Oh dear! It seems that at the end of WW2 the Allies managed to lose a few cubes of uranium from Germany’s failed nuclear programme.

We know that plants’ growth shows a high degree of symmetry, but how many of use realised it was quite this complicated?

Scientists reckon that plants can hear bees buzzing – and they then make their nectar sweeter.

Talking of hearing … it turns out bats can tune their sonar very effectively by constantly wiggling their ears.

When is a cuttlefish like a human? When it has arms. Apparently all creatures’ arms/limbs are built from the same set of genes, regardless of how many there are.

Health & Medicine

This month’s medical column is all about girlie parts, but the boys will want to be educated too …

Women are now asking if it is possible to have a better period (depending on their value of “better”)

According to a couple of old articles in the sacred Cosmopolitan there are nine different types of boobs and seven different types of labia. The good news is that they are all perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

The story of one survivor who is campaigning against the brutality of FGM.

Environment

It is suggested that urban trees live fast and die young compared with those in rural forests

Social Sciences, Business, Law

The current incumbent seems to get embroiled on controversy, but what really is the role of the Speaker of the House of Commons?

Language

Not everyone agrees that language is a living, evolving entity, so here are 19 of the most contentious linguistic disagreements.

History, Archaeology & Anthropology

I never knew that some of the Lewis Chessmen were missing, but it seems that one of the missing few has recently resurfaced.

High quality viniculture is turning out to be a lot older than expected.

Historians across the ages cannot agree, but it seems that Druids are fairly skilled at metamorphosis – either that or the historians are making it all up as they go along!

Lifestyle & Personal Development

Somewhere, high on the Tibetan plateau, is a matriarchal culture where men are never in charge and where the women don’t know who is the father of their children.

Back in the western world, people are asking what it means to be genetically Jewish, but maybe not culturally so.

There is more accumulating evidence that a long working week really is bad for your health, and that a shorter working week isn’t necessarily less productive.

When might a big earthquake hit Tokyo, and how is Japan preparing itself?

Taxidermy is often seen as a rather unsavoury hobby, but a growing number of women are making their mark as taxidermists.

Brad Warner, our favourite Zen Master, takes a somewhat sideways look at the way all things are connected.

Food & Drink

The public health lobby are worried that too many people are getting home hygiene wrong.

And finally … Master of Wine, Caroline Gilby, looks at how long to keep an opened bottle of wine, and what you can do with it. (No, I know. What is this commodity “spare wine”?)

More in a month. Enjoy the summer.

Disaster. Result.

Well that was a very unexpected result from a bit of a disaster!

Sunday evening, about midnight. Noreen discovers the freezer is not working. I am summoned. I confirm the veracity of Noreen’s suspicion. No lights on the front panel at all; not a glimmer; and none of the buttons does anything. Socket checked: OK. Plug checked: OK. Fuse checked: OK but changed as a precaution. Obviously the kitchen ring main is OK, and there have been no power interruptions. Cable checked as far as possible: OK. How long has it been off? We don’t know; it could even be a day!

Bugger! Especially as the freezer is only 6 months old; an AEG bought from John Lewis. Unfortunately we’ve voided the warranty as we had to remove the moulded-on plug to wire it in. Fortunately it is packed solid. So leave the door shut and see what transpires.

Decision. Do not waste time on trying to get a repair; whether or not the warranty is valid it’ll take too long. Better to spend money and buy another new one as we can get next day delivery. Worry about the warranty later.

Not many people make free-standing, under-the-counter freezers these days; first choice Bosch don’t make them any longer. So at 1AM we’re ordering a new freezer from John Lewis (own brand this time); they’re trusted to do next day delivery. But we’re now in Monday so delivery will be Tuesday. Hmmm. Best we can do. We have neither time nor transport to try sourcing one locally in the morning.

Go to bed, hatching various plans for using the thawing contents.

Monday morning. John Lewis customer service confirm we’ve voided the warranty. Insurance company confirm loss of freezer food is covered on our insurance, but we have a £200 excess. Decide not worth contemplating a claim as contents unlikely to top £200. Still considering how to handle the freezer contents.

Monday lunchtime. Noreen extracts fish fingers from freezer for lunch (may as well use what we can). Reports everything still well frozen. Decide to leave freezer shut and wait until new one arrives tomorrow. Then we’ll consider what to use and what to bin.

Tuesday. New freezer delivered at lunchtime. We install it (without removing the moulded-on plug this time!) and leave it to settle, as instructed. Turn it on at about 5PM. By 8PM (after eating) the freezer’s getting well cold. Decide to unpack the old freezer. We divide contents into 4 categories:

  1. Definitely going to be binned as not immediately useable: ice lollies; bags of stock; bags of fresh pasta; odd portions of curry; couple of small packs smoked salmon (damn we’d even fed the cats, so the fox can have the benefit!); half bag of peas; the same of cauliflower. We knew this was going to be a lot.
  2. Thawing fast, needs using now: couple of boring nut roasts; bag of crumble topping. Is that all? – Not bad. Nut roasts go in the oven and will be OK cold for lunch tomorrow; large dish of fruit crumble also in the oven.
  3. Thawing but useable tomorrow, put in fridge: 3 packs of bacon; pack of sausages; some pork slices; small bag lamb’s liver; some garlic butter. Make casserole? No, a better idea: terrine.
  4. Still well frozen; keep frozen but use ASAP: all the meat in the centre of the freezer (small lamb joints; some bacon; turkey joints; a pheasant; couple of steaks; 2 large boxes fish fingers); pack of pastry; even a bag of ice cubes! And yes this stuff really was rock solid.

Wow! That’s a result! Around 50% of the contents of the freezer (and most of the expensive stuff) is saved. Amazing! We know one is always told a switched off freezer will be OK for 12-24 hours. But we really hadn’t expected to salvage anything much after almost 48 hours.

Yes, it would have been better to have the freezer fixed. But doing so would have taken time and probably lost the whole of the contents and cost for the repair. When added up would that have been greener that buying a new freezer? Maybe. Maybe not. But buying a new one was probably the more economic decision.

Oh, and that (large) terrine has just come out of the oven; now cooling and being pressed. Basically it is a variant of our Ennismore Terrine. It smells gorgeous!

Moral(s): Know when to leave well alone. Do quick risk analysis to enable quick decisions. And above all don’t panic!