Like a number of other people I know, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. They are, by and large, setting ourselves up to fail. We pick as resolutions things we’re determined to do, but maybe don’t really want to do, like stopping smoking or exercising more. Consequently, although we try, we don’t stick the course. We fail and then beat ourselves up for failing. Only to go through the whole cycle again next year with the same resolutions! All New Year resolutions are is self-fulfilling fails just waiting to mug our psyche.

I’ve never liked being tied down by immoveable objectives (to me that ceases to be an objective and becomes an irrevocable order, something to be achieved “or else”). And I don’t intend to start now I’ve managed to slough of the spectre of work. I’m basically someone who drifts with the tide; I managed it through my working life and have escaped with (most of) my sanity intact and a life outside work. Yes I probably could have done better for myself, but at what cost to my sanity and work-life balance? That wasn’t what I wanted so drifting suited me just fine.

So in recent years I have tried to set myself some goals to achieve over the year. And no, a goal is not a resolution! Resolution = I am determined to do this come what may. Goal = a target to be aimed for; success is a bull’s eye; but you still get points for hitting an outer blue or black ring, for some small progress.

Last year I set myself a number of goals. And I scored really badly, though I did pick a few points. This was partly because my goals didn’t end up aligning with the things which turned out to happen during the year and which I couldn’t have foreseen. Yes, I’m disappointed, but no I’m not beating myself up about it (well not much anyway).

So for 2011 I’m setting myself a new set of goals. And no, not the ones I didn’t achieve in 2010; many of them are not now relevant to where I need to be going. And no, I’m not about to tell you what they are. I may or may not achieve these goals, but every one is attainable if somewhat challenging and I shall give them a good shot. As long as they remain relevant. And that’s the key. Goals = targets to be aimed at which are achievable, relevant and allow for progress short of 100% success. So many New Year’s resolutions become “must do”, are unreasonably hard to achieve, and too often become irrelevant to where life takes us.  Flexibility is more important than single-minded determination; partial success is more important than total failure.