So, our beloved Prime Minister, and his hench-chav-girlie Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, have decreed that carrying a knife (no qualifications; no excuses) is a criminal act. So it must be. Any knife, including the old blunt dinner knife I use in the garden or my 1″ long Swiss Army knife, is now illegal in a public place. Mere possession is a criminal offence. The result is to have my life ruined with a criminal record and go straight to jail. (Can’t have community service ‘cos the tabloids sez “nah”!) 🙁

What a complete load of ancient cobblers! Bollox to the fact that the PM’s whim does not make law — in the UK that is the prerogative of Parliament. Nor does the PM absolutely decree how the law determines any miscreant has to be treated — it is determined by the law itself, by case law and by things such as sentencing guidelines. So much for our new-found love of eating outside the bistro, continental-style — Heaven forbid, we might use our fish-knife to skewer some feral yoof. And bollox to commonsense … for if I dispose of an old, blunt, useless knife in my dustbin then it is still a knife and the Recycling Manager (aka. the binman) who takes my garbage sack bag to the dustcart is guilty of an offence for he is momentarily in possession of a knife in a public place.

Scalpellum vulgaris, the knife, that first tool made by man many millennia since, is now spiralling down the steep slope to extinction. All knives are now isolated populations in the properties they inhabit. We have no legal means of moving them from A to B or of acquiring new blood (ouch!) as it has just become impossible to purchase a knife as it cannot be transported, nohow!

These ID10Ts — politicians, the media and the plod — have absolutely no clue. The loonies really have taken over the nut house. (How long before nutcrackers are outlawed?) Last one out turn off their food and water supply?! 🙁