amusements, memes

Ten Things: April

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Ficticious Books from Anthony Powell’s A Dance to the Music of Time

  1. Ada Leintwardine; The Bitch Pack Meets on Wednesday
  2. David Pennistone; Descartes, Gassendi and the Atomic Theory of Epicurus
  3. Evadne Clapham; The Pistons of our Locomotives Sing the Songs of Our Workers (retitled as Engine Melody)
  4. St John Clarke; Fields of Amaranth (see right)
  5. Vernon Gainsborough; Bronstein Marxist or Mystagogue?
  6. X Trapnel; Dogs Have No Uncles
  7. Russell Gwinnett; The Gothic Symbolism of Mortality in the Texture of Jacobean Stagecraft
  8. Quentin Shuckerly; Athletes Footmen
  9. Mark Members; Kleist, Marx, Sartre, The Existential Equilibrium
  10. Revd Salathiel Brightman; Attick and Roman Reckonings of Capacity for Things Liquid and Things Dry reduced to the Common English Mensuration for Wine and Corn
amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. II.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

II. Village People

Anthony, the Squire, lives up at “The Mares”,
While Bernard, our doctor, lives at “Three Bears”.

Cathy is new here, she teaches our school,
With pretty Denise, our champion at boule.

Ed is a twin, he runs the small store,
Bro’ Fred’s been our postman for ever and more.

George is a farmer, with sheep by the score,
Which Harry the butcher will bring to your door.

Grumpy old Ivy, is ever so prim,
While John, who’s retired, keeps our gardens in trim.

Ken and his trumpet, play jazz on the beach,
In duo with Lisa, a lovely young peach.

There’s Father O’Michael, our vicar for years,
And Nick, the bookseller, who likes a few beers.

Oh, here is Oscar, he’s just three years old,
And Poppy, just sixteen, already so bold.

Quarrelsome Quentin’s, the Squire’s youngest son,
While Roger’s our baker, always up with the sun.

Big Sergeant Stan, is mine host at The Sun,
With tiny Theresa, his wife with a bun.

An enigma is Uncle, we don’t know his name,
Who lives next to Vi, a feisty old dame.

Willowy Wendy, see how she can dance!
Partnering Xavier, an import from France.

Yvonne the alto sings a good song,
And Zeb is the Blacksmith, all brawny and strong.

Piece III will appear on Tuesday 13 April.

amusements, memes

Things to Think About: April

This year we’re beginning each month with a (potentially logical) oddity to think about, and to keep the brain cells active. This month:

Do twins ever realise that one of them is unplanned?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

environment, history, links, medical, natural history, science, sexuality

Monthly Links

OMG! Have we got a packed full box of links to items you may have missed this month. So let’s dive in …

Science, Technology, Natural World

Why do we find the quantum world weird? According to Carlo Rovelli we wouldn’t if we accepted that objects don’t exist. Prepare to have your mind addled! [LONG READ] [£££]

According to one expert extra-terrestrial life may not be all that alien.

Most of us have heard about near death experiences, and some have experienced them … but what do they mean? [LONG READ]

On carrots, colour, chemistry and vision.

Covid-19 variants may be causing heart problems in pets.

Catnip repels insects (and is loved by many cats). Scientists are beginning to unravel how the insect repellent action works.

Years ago, the Horniman Museum in south London bought a piece of rock, and unknowingly imported some prolifically breeding small shrimp with it. So they were feeding the shrimp to many of their fish. Turns out the shrimp was a hitherto unknown species!

Meanwhile Japanese scientists have looked at the bacteria in 100 million-year-old ocean sediment cores … and found the bacteria they contain can be brought back to life!

How does an octopus sleep? With short bursts of frenzied and colourful REM-like sleep.

From water … to air … Wisdom the albatross, the world’s oldest known wild bird, has another chick at age 70.

… to land … It is generally accepted that Tasmanian Tigers are extinct. But people still think they see them and that they’re still alive.

Health, Medicine

It is becoming well understood that reproductive problems in both men and women are increasingly common. Hormone disrupting chemicals in the environment seem to be at least partly to blame. [£££]

Sexuality

A look at asexuality and its recent increase.

While at the other end of the scale, many of us have declining libido, and want it back …

… One way might be to hang pubic hair paintings in your living room. [LONG READ]

Environment

New bye-laws ban trawl fishing off the Sussex coast with the aim of allowing the kelp forests to regenerate.

10 years on there have been a number of review articles about the 2011 Fukushima disaster. Here is a selection:
•  Japan marks 10 years since the disaster killed 18,500 people.
•  What happened at the nuclear plant?
•  How locals are returning after nuclear disaster. [£££]
•  UN report says Fukushima radiation did not damage health of local people.
•  But one ocean scientist is still worried.

History, Archaeology, Anthropology

Archaeologists in Egypt have found what may be the world’s oldest pet cemetery.

Scientists thing they’ve finally unlocked the secrets of the Antikythera Mechanism using computer modelling.

You always wanted to know the grisly details of Roman murder, didn’t you?

Still in Roman times … it has been calculated that when Vesuvius erupted in 79AD it killed the inhabitants of Pompeii in 15 minutes.

A group in Ireland is attempting to revive the ancient tradition of the sheela na gig.

On the Before- and After-Times.

Two looks at what chivalry is, and the dearth of whte knights.

Workmen at Tintern, in the Wye Valley, have found a hitherto unknown medieval tunnel system.

A look at the role of 14th-century working women in southern France.

On the other hand, medieval women put faith in things like birth girdles to protect them during childbirth.

On the crapness of medieval pickup lines.

A short life expectancy in days of yore is a myth – lots died as children, but survive that and many lived into old age. [LONG READ]

The National Archives have documents about the Gunpowder Plot written in invisible ink (lemon/orange juice).

Until the advent of the envelope in the western world letters were sealed by a technique called letterlocking. Researchers have now worked out how to use X-rays to read these letters without breaking the seals.

Charles II’s mistress Hortense Mancini was a trend-setter ahead of her time.

Food, Drink

Seafood fraud is happening on a global scale and sleuths are using DNA techniques to fight back. Meanwhile, how good are you at spotting whether your fish a fake?

Lifestyle, Personal Development, Beliefs

It is time that men got a grip and made a stand to end violence against women (and men!).

One woman’s experience of the evolution of nude black women in art. [LONG READ]

Shock, Horror, Humour, Wow!

And finally a pair of researchers have worked out how to make a hippogriff and angels that could fly. [£££]

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. I.

The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces

I. Introduction and Allegro

Our Village is Ancient, it’s in Domesday you see,
We’ve Butcher and Baker and Blacksmith all three.

In summer there’s Cricket played on the Green,
A mile from the Deer Park, once owned by the Queen.

“End Cottage” is famous, it’s covered in bloom,
When Furrily Fair is held every June.

Our Church of St George dates from 1053,
While the Hall was brand new for Queen Vic’s Jubilee.

The “Ink Wells” they date from age of the quill,
But after “Jack’s Mill”, on the top of Fog Hill.

King George gave the Oak Tree in 1802,
It’s nearby the Library – managed by Lou.

“The Mares” is the Manor, the Squire’s big hutch,
There’s also the Nudists – they don’t bother us much.

Old Ozzy Gee brings fresh fish from the sea,
To sell at the Pump, where the gossip is free.

Noisy’s the Quarry that’s over by Krigg:
Stone for the “Rectory”, sprawling and big.

The Sea and the Beach are five miles away,
But here is our Teashop run by fair May.

Spooky the “Under Caves”, it’s said there are nine,
They’re under the “The Vaults” where Matilda sells wine.

We think there’s some Wiccans, but no-one’s quite sure,
Though X marks the Crossroads, with gibbet of yore.

“The Yews” are alms houses, 200 years old,
But new is the Zodiac Maze by “The Fold”.

Piece II will appear on Tuesday 6 April.

amusements, personal, ramblings

The Village. Preface

One sleepless night near the beginning of the year, I was playing a mental game of naming things to do with (or names of) an arbitrary subject: countries, lakes, forests, or whatever occurred. Of course this had to be an A to Z, something for each letter, and in order. Like the traditional children’s game: “A is for Aardvark, B is for Bullfrog … Z is for Zanzibar”.

This particular night I thought of “things to do with a tree” and had a mature oak tree as a guiding picture. In doing this I found myself making some of the choices a bit more descriptive – not just a jay, but a jay burying acorns. Then, over a couple of nights, some rhymes got added. This developed into a full verse of 13 rhyming couplets – a fairly droll technique, but one which worked and which wasn’t too hard in the darkness of the night when attempting to induce slumber.

A few nights later I chanced upon the village pond as a subject, and again found rhyming couplets emerging. So then I wondered if I could make a full 13 rhyming couplets: yes I could even if some were initially rather contrived.

Now remember that at this point nothing was written down, or even spoken aloud; it was all in my head. But I went on to wonder if I could construct a whole village, one set of 13 couplets at a time.

Out of this emerged about a dozen, rather ragged and very incomplete, verses on different aspects of an imaginary village. Over a period of two to three weeks I began to write this down and to refine it, discarding some verses which didn’t gel and complete, and ending with eight complete verses.

At this point, I showed Noreen who professed to like it and thought it should see the light of day. So over the next few weeks The Village – A Story in Eight Pieces will appear here, one verse at a time.

Piece Publication
I. Introduction and Allegro 30 March
II. Village People 6 April
III. The Church of St George 13 April
IV. The Village Stores 19 April
V. The Sun Inn 26 April
VI. The Duck Pond 4 May
VII. More Village People 11 May
VIII. King George’s Oak 18 May

The project may not be complete. I have some ideas for a few further verses should inspiration strike, and there is also very draft sketch map of the village. We shall see if they ever emerge fully formed.

And to think, it all started with a sleepless night and an imaginary tree.

Piece I will appear on Tuesday 30 March.

quotes

Monthly Quotes

Here is my collection of interesting, thought provoking and amusing quotes for March.

Chivalry and the chivalric code has fuck all to do with women at all. It’s a bunch of rules about how to conduct yourself if you are a rich dude, with a horse, a lot of weapons, and time on your hands. Saying that you treat women well because of chivalry makes about as much sense as saying you treat them well because of the highway code.
[Dr Eleanor Janega at https://going-medieval.com/2017/12/07/thats-not-what-chivalry-is-but-ok/]

Anything slightly about women in concepts of chivalry is the same old creepy-ass courtly love stuff, and mostly is just about keeping your boner in your pants while your boss is looking.
[Dr Eleanor Janega at https://going-medieval.com/2017/12/07/thats-not-what-chivalry-is-but-ok/]

I do advocate that men keep their boners in their pants unless otherwise requested, however, and it will probably save you grief with HR if you commit to this at work at the very least.
[Dr Eleanor Janega at https://going-medieval.com/2017/12/07/thats-not-what-chivalry-is-but-ok/]

I believe that when we leave a place, part of it goes with us, and part of us remains. Go anywhere in the station when it is quiet and just listen. After a while, you will hear the echoes of all our conversations, every thought and word we’ve exchanged. Long after we have gone, our voices will linger in these walls.

Lies are noisy and the truth is very quiet. Listen carefully.
[Brad Warner; https://twitter.com/BradWarner/status/1369776251796254722]

In 1786 [Lord George] was excommunicated from the Church of England for refusing to appear before an ecclesiastical court … [He] responded that “to expel him from a society to which he never belonged, was an absurdity worthy of an archbishop”.
[Metropolitan, v7, n2]

Axolotls are amphibious organisms that live in rivers in Mexico. The water they live in is iodine deficient therefore they have hypothyroidism. This is why they have a distinctive half finished metamorphic appearance (gills + lungs). If you put them in iodine rich water as tadpoles then they ‘finish’ metamorphosis and become salamanders.
[@_captainscience; https://twitter.com/_captainscience/status/1371199557338562560?s=09]

This … was famously expressed by physicist Erwin Schrödinger in pictorial terms. Before we observe it, the wave function of a cat might be a superposition of a sleeping cat and an awake cat (in Schrödinger’s version, the cat was dead or alive, but it isn’t nice to joke about dying cats).
[Carlo Rovelli; New Scientist; 13 March 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933250-500-quantum-weirdness-isnt-weird-if-we-accept-objects-dont-exist/ (£££)]

[Niels Bohr] wrote “the description of a quantum system cannot be separated from the measuring instruments that interact with it” … [this] is misleading because it seems to make “measuring instruments” necessary … [the] observation needs to be generalised and the need for a measurer removed. This can be done by saying that the description of a physical system cannot be separated from the other physical systems that interact with it … Properties of a quantum system exist only at the point of interacting with something else.
[Carlo Rovelli; New Scientist; 13 March 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933250-500-quantum-weirdness-isnt-weird-if-we-accept-objects-dont-exist/ (£££)]

If we think of the physical world as if it were made by little stones each with its own properties, the jump from this picture to the subjective experience of mental phenomena is huge. But if the physical nature of the world is better described in terms of how physical systems, simple [and] complex … affect one another, perhaps the disjoint will appear less dramatic: products of the mind are just the complex phenomenon formed by the tangled and richly interwoven interactions between the world and the brain.
[Carlo Rovelli; New Scientist; 13 March 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933250-500-quantum-weirdness-isnt-weird-if-we-accept-objects-dont-exist/ (£££)]

We shouldn’t force what we have discovered about nature to align with [our] prejudices: rather, our prejudices should be modified by our discoveries about nature.
[Carlo Rovelli; New Scientist; 13 March 2021; https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24933250-500-quantum-weirdness-isnt-weird-if-we-accept-objects-dont-exist/ (£££)]

It is clear that there is no classification of the Universe that is not arbitrary and full of conjectures. The reason for this is very simple: we do not know what kind of thing the universe is.
[Borges, Essay: The Analytical Language of John Wilkins]

current affairs, medical, personal, ramblings

Horrible Times 20: One Year!

Midday today marked exactly 365 days of, partly self-imposed, isolation. What a strange year it’s been! Who could have guessed it would be thus. In the last 365 days:

  • I’ve been off the premises just four times. Twice to go to the dentist. Once for a flu jab and blood test. And most recently for my first Covid vaccination.
  • Noreen has done a little better in that she’s been making forays to the postbox and occasionally the post office.
  • I’ve generally been well. That’s apart from the depression which is, if anything, worse – but then who’s surprised about that?! But it does make motivating oneself to do anything a struggle. It hasn’t been helped by my back and a lot of tension across my neck and shoulders; unrelieved as I’ve not been able to get any massage.
  • However Noreen has had a nasty cellulitis infection and shingles. The former required many trips to the hospital.
  • We’ve been totally dependent on online shopping, and luckily have had no problems with supermarket delivery slots (except in the very early days when things were being sorted out). Everyone in the food supply chain has been doing heroic work through all this.
  • And we’ve been using our supermarket deliveries to also get provisions for our friend across the road, who is also isolating.
  • We’ve both managed to get our first Covid vaccination – something which wasn’t even a possibility this time last year. And we’ve been mightily impressed with the way the NHS has coped with all this. We await jab number two.
  • We’ve lost my aunt (to Covid, although aged 90 and with dementia), and three or four friends (apparently not to Covid). How odd are “Zoom funerals”?!
  • Needless to say face-to-face meetings and events have not happened. We’ve managed to continue some over Zoom, which is not a problem for me as I’ve been used to teleconference meetings since before the millennium.
  • We’ve added some extra, informal, meetings for our doctor’s patient group (of which I’m Chairman) just to enable people to keep in touch and have some additional social contact.
  • Meanwhile the house is a disgusting rat’s nest – which really doesn’t help the depression. When Covid struck we were trying to dredge the accumulated silt of 40 years, three parents, two jobs, and voluntary work. That has stalled, mainly because we cannot shift stuff out of the house: charity shops are closed and not taking donations, and without transport we can’t get anything to the tip.
  • The garden is pretty much a wreck. Although we managed to keep it roughly in order last summer, without our regular gardener the winter maintenance and pruning has gone by the board. The lawn is a meadow which comes half way up our fox. Besides it is so wet out there (yet more rain as I write this) the ground is like jelly, which makes working on it impossible.
  • On the good side, we’re both still plugged into life supply.
  • And we’ve been able to have some good food and wine – something we’ve made sure we do more of to add a little joy to the misery.

So what happens next?

The government is clearly keeping its fingers crossed and hoping for the best. Meanwhile everyone is expecting the worst with the medical experts warning:

All in all I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re still in this same position a year hence. It will be immensely depressing and disheartening, but I wouldn’t find it surprising. This, of course, assumes we’re still receiving supplies of life force!

Jolly times!

amusements, memes

Ten Things: March

This year our Ten Things series – which surprisingly appears on the tenth of each month – continues concentrating on the amusing, both real and fictional. So this month we have …

Ten Obituary Euphemisms

  1. Convivial: Habitually drunk
  2. Gave colourful accounts of his exploits: A liar
  3. A man of simple tastes: A complete vulgarian
  4. A lively conversationalist: A crashing bore
  5. An uncompromisingly direct ladies’ man: A flasher
  6. A confirmed bachelor: Homosexual (see right)
  7. She left no close relatives: A lesbian
  8. Always had a twinkle in his eye: A drooling pervert
  9. Colourful: Criminal 
  10. Active in the community: A busy-body