Anti-Carol
Just for further amusement at this time of great mirth and sadness at the tills, here are two anti-carols, again stolen from friends on Facebook.
O Sing, choirs of children,
Sing in expectation,
Sing all ye shareholders of M&S.
Give to our Family, glory in the Mostest;
O come, let us spend Money,
O come, let us spend Money,
O come, let us spend Money,
Christ I’m Bored.
God rest ye Unitarians, let nothing you dismay,
Remember there’s no evidence there was a Christmas Day,
When Christ was born just is not known, no matter what men say.Glad tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.There was no star of Bethlehem, there was no angel song,
There could have been no wise men for the journey was too long,
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong.Glad tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.Much of our Christmas custom comes from Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient middle east,
We know our so-called holiday is but a pagan feast.Glad tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
Weekly Links
This week’s collection of items you may have missed but which, in the interests of public service, we didn’t.
First let’s get the boring bit out of the way. CERN’s Large Hadron Collider might have spotted the first glimpse of the elusive Higgs Boson. Maybe. Maybe not.
Talking of glimpses, how doctors die shows they have a different approach to their glimpse of the afterlife than the rest of us.
Which may be related to why we invented monsters (aka. dragons).
From something scary to something scary? Why peach fuzz makes it harder for parasites.
And if you’re male you can now be really scared. Apparently donating sperm can be scary. Seems like all in a day’s work for the average male to me. 😉
Of course then there are plastic carrier bags.
Everything you ever wanted to know (and more) about … shoelaces!
And finally just to prove that cat’s can’t think outside the box.
Amusing Meme
One of my Facebook contacts has posted a curious and amusing little meme. It may be an old one, but I’ve not seen it before. It goes like this …
- Your real name: Keith Marshall
- Your detective name (favourite colour and favourite animal): Yellow Cat
- Your soap opera name (middle name and street you live on): Cullingworth Ennismore
- Your Star Wars name (first 3 letters of last name, first 2 of middle name, first 2 of first, last 3 of last): Marcu Keall
- Superhero name (Colour of your shirt and first item to your right): Null Mouse
- Goth name (black and name of one of your pets): Black Harry
Well the last three work fairly well; I have reservations about the rest.
Anyone else dare to try this and post the results?
Advent Calendar 17
Almond Biscotti
I first posted this recipe at Christmas a couple of years ago, but I’m going to repeat it here as it’s a quick way to make someone a last minute Christmas present. Or to just treat yourself!
Biscotti (Italian for biscuit) are those nice little almond morsels one sometimes gets with coffee or with a dessert, especially in continental cafés. They’re dead easy and quick to make and much nicer than the commercial ones. I’ve just made two batches in 90 minutes and wrapped several presents in between times.
Almond Biscotti (makes 25-30)
Ingredients
2 large eggs
175g sugar
50g butter (preferably melted)
200g blanched or flaked almonds (preferably toasted)
250g plain white flour
30g ground almonds
1 teasp baking powder
pinch of salt
2 teasp vanilla essence
2 teasp almond essence
Method
- Blend together the eggs and sugar.
- Add all the other ingredients except the almonds and blend to make a sticky dough.
- Now add the almonds and mix them in.
- If you can be bothered let the dough rest in the fridge for an hour; I don’t bother.
- Cover a couple of baking sheets with baking parchment.
- Spread the mixture onto the baking sheets making a long shape about 6-8cm wide and 1cm thick. Don’t worry if it is uneven, no-one will even realise and they’re supposed to look “rustic”.
- Bake in a pre-heated oven at 175°C for 25 minutes. (If you have a fan assisted oven, use the fan.)
- Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the baking sheet for 10-15 minutes.
- Carefully remove the baking parchment and cut with a sharp knife into approx. 1cm slices. Angle the cuts to get the authentic look.
- Now return the slices to the baking sheet, with one cut side down, and re-bake at 175°C for 10-15 minutes.
- Cool and store in an airtight box.
- Serve with coffee or ice-cream desserts; or use as presents.
Notes
- You can use a food processor for all the mixing, it’s much quicker. But unless you have a large professional machine don’t double up the mixture.
- If using a food processor go gently when mixing in the almonds as you don’t want them smashed up — which happens to flaked almonds all too easily.
- I use flaked almonds because they are kinder to the teeth especially if you’re giving them to anyone elderly.
- Do not be tempted to over cook or you will get a hard result.
- The biscotti will be a bit soft after the first bake so you will need to cut them carefully with a very sharp knife.
- How long you make the second bake depends on how crunchy you like the end result. I find 10 minutes is enough: crunchy when cold but not too tough on the teeth.
- There are a number of variants on this: some add a small amount of instant coffee, or citrus rind. Or you can leave out the ground almonds (if so add just a small amount more flour), the vanilla essence or almond essence.
- For a really rich result you can part dip the biscotti in melted dark chocolate. Personally I think they are scrummy and rich enough without.
- The end slices, which may not be good as presents, could be used for that Christmas Day trifle.
Photo by me of the second batch I made this afternoon.
Advent Calendar 16
Quotes of the Week
This week’s ragbag of amusements masquerading a thoughtful quotes …
We need to have more Europe.
[German Chancellor Angela Merkel; BBC News, 8 December 2011]
Never has Europe been so necessary. Never has it been in so much danger. Never have so many countries wanted to join Europe. Never has the risk of a disintegration of Europe been so great. Europe is facing an extraordinarily dangerous situation.
[French President Nicolas Sarkosy; BBC News, 8 December 2011]
After which one is forced to agree with Shakespeare …
Hell is empty and all the Devils are here.
But then again …
Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.
[George Scialabba]
So are Americans any better than us?
Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.
[John Steinbeck]
Guess it explains some differences in attitude though!
When I was born I was so surprised … I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
[Thoughts of Angel]
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures in them.
[Thoughts of Angel quoting George W Bush]
Which could also explain quite a lot especially when bearing in mind …
When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called Religion.
[Robert M Pirsig]
So there is only one solution …
Don’t worry, just breathe. If it’s meant to be, it will find its way.


