Another toffee-bag of recently encountered quotes. This selection seems to be mostly from the cynical and philosophical jars.

Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
[Oliver Wendell Holmes]

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.
[PJ Plauger]

Reality is something you rise above.
[Liza Minnelli]

War is organised murder, and nothing else.
[Harry Patch; last surviving soldier of WWI]

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.
[Voltaire]

Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.
[George Santayana]

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
[Herbert Spencer]

Finally a gob-stopper from the jar of amusements …

Judge: There’s a certain light connotation attached to the word panties. Can we find another name for them?
Prosecution: I never heard my wife call them anything else.
Judge: Mr. Biegler?
Biegler: I’m a bachelor, your Honor.
Judge: That’s a great help. Mr. Dancer?
Dancer: I was overseas during the war, your Honor. I learned a French word. I’m afraid it might be slightly suggestive.
Judge: Most French words are.
[Wendell Holmes, Anatomy of a Murder; with thanks to Barnaby Page]

Another occasional round-up of recently-encountered quotes which have interested or amused me.

At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas.
[Aldous Huxley]

He is a vegetarian; I don’t know whether from principle or from gourmandaise. One never knows whether people have principles on principle or whether for their own personal satisfaction.
[Karel Čapek on George Bernard Shaw in Letters from England]

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
[Saki]

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract.
[Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.]

So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.
[Peter Drucker]

The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it’s only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.
[Novelist Chuck Palahniuk. Shades of X Trapnel in Anthony Powell’s A Dance to the Music of Time]

Everyone should be responsible and if they do visit a wood just make sure they wash their boots, wash their dog, whatever’s been running around the leaves, wash their child, to make sure they don’t transfer to the next wood.
[Owen Patterson, UK Environment Secretary, talking about how people can help prevent the spread of the fungus which is killing ash trees; quoted in the Daily Telegraph]

Recent interest or amusement from my reading …

Education is the proper way to promote compassion and tolerance in society. Compassion and peace of mind bring a sense of confidence that reduce stress and anxiety, whereas anger and hatred come from frustration and undermine our sense of trust. Because of ignorance, many of our problems are our own creation. Education, however, is the instrument that increases our ability to employ our own intelligence.
[Dalai Lama]

Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It’s called ‘rain’.
[Michael McClary]

You may delay, but time will not.
[Benjamin Franklin]

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
[Aldous Huxley]

Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.
[Bertrand Russell]

Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it don’t use it.
[Thoughts of Angel]

I ask her if she would like a cup of coffee. ‘Well, I wouldn’t want you to go to all that trouble.  I’ll just have half a cup.’
[Alan Bennett, The Lady in the Van; quoted by Katyboo]

Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?

[Harold Pinter]

Another selection of interesting and/or amusing quotes.

Why is it that in every single place I’ve ever worked, the photocopier has special needs?
[Hails at Coffee Helps]

I just love the idea of copies being “special needs”, but it’s absolutely right, they are!

His grace doesn’t half sound in a wax this morning, ducks.
[Julian Maclaren-Ross, quoted in DJ Taylor, What You Didn’t Miss]

Most of what gets marked down as ‘poetry’ these days is simply prose chopped up into irregular lines.
[DJ Taylor, What You Didn’t Miss]

Imagine the surprise of David Purdy on receiving a special offer of the Family Tree Maker program at less than half price. How could he resist the chance to “find out whether any of your descendants were on the Titanic”?
[Feedback, New Scientist, 22/09/2012]

In the darkness of secrecy, sinister interest and evil in every shape have full swing … Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial.
[Jeremy Bentham, political and legal philosopher, 1748-1832]

Our political masters need to sometimes keep this in mind, and the following …

[T]he judge should have the last word … under the procedure devised in the Bill the judge does have the last word. The only difficulty is that that word is dictated to the judge by the Secretary of State. First, the judge can make a decision only if the Secretary of State makes an application … Secondly, when the judge does come to consider it, it is not for him to weigh up the relative merits of … or to decide what the fairest way would be to decide the case. The judge’s hands are effectively tied. If there is disclosable material that impacts on national security … the judge is required to agree … The judge “must” order a closed material procedure … the government have given formal effect to the requirement that the judge should have the last word, but in substance the Secretary of State continues to pull the strings.
[David Anderson QC, Independent Reviewer of Terrorism Legislation, on the Justice and Security Bill; quoted on the Law and Lawyers Blog]

Which reminds me of this insult I once heard hurled at some fiasco or other:

A ball-withering succession of cock-ups

Somehow it also reminds me of Borges …

These ambiguities, redundancies, and deficiencies recall those attributed by Dr Franz Kuhn to a certain Chinese encyclopaedia entitled Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge. On those remote pages it is written that animals are divided into (a) those that belong to the Emperor, (b) embalmed ones, (c) those that are trained, (d) suckling pigs, (e) mermaids, (f) fabulous ones, (g) stray dogs, (h) those that are included in this classification, (i) those that tremble as if they were mad, (j) innumerable ones, (k) those drawn with a very fine camel’s hair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) those that have just broken a flower vase, (n) those that resemble flies from a distance.
{Jorge Luis Borges, Essay: The Analytical Language of John Wilkins]

Another collection of quotes recently encountered which have amused or inspired me.

Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.
[Robertson Davies]

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.
[William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 1 Scene 1]

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
[Fred Allen]

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
[Albert Einstein]

Word verification — an updated version of mediaeval trial by ordeal
[Tim Atkinson, at Bringing up Charlie]

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
[HL Mencken]

We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
[CS Lewis]

The Puerarchy … “Extended Adolescence” … the tendency for young men to spend a decade or so getting drunk, high, laid, and wiped out from video game exhaustion and porn marathons instead of applying nose to grindstone, getting a college education that will allow them to support their future ex-wives … No one seems to like these guys — the Left condemns them as slacking losers who won’t grow up, and the Right condemns them as dope-smoking losers who won’t grow up.
[Ian Ironwood at The Red Pill Room]

My usual but occasional selection of quotes which have interested or amused me recently. In no particular order …

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
[Tom Stoppard]

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think interior decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
[Anna Quindlen]

Prejudice and privilege are why we haven’t just sorted out resources (we have enough, we really do) to ensure that all humans get to eat nutritious food, receive medical care and vaccinations so they can live beyond the age of 5, have access to our bodies of collected wisdom and knowledge, have a safe place to sleep, and get a chance to experience play and pleasure so that we can all live in peace and explore the universe together.
[Maggie Mayhem; What do you care what other people think!]

If you want to understand Dogen’s philosophy you have to accept that there are many real things and phenomena in this universe that we human beings are simply not equipped to perceive, but that these things and phenomena are not parts of some mystical other realm.
[Brad Warner; Dogen for Punks]

Buddhists in the West are often precisely the same personality types you encounter at sci fi and anime conventions or in punk rock clubs. They just have a different kind of thing that turns them on. But they use it in exactly the same way, to help delineate their personality as something different from the mainstream.
[Brad Warner; Dogen for Punks]

You need not be shocked at my being spoken against. Anybody, who is spoken about at all, is sure to be spoken against by somebody, and any action, however innocent in itself, is liable, and not at all unlikely, to be blamed by somebody. If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much!
[Charles Dodgson (alias Lewis Carroll) in a letter to his sister Mary, 21 September 1893; quoted in Jenny Woolf, The Mystery of Lewis Carroll]

[P]hotographs were usually taken outside on a bright day, or at least in a studio with a glass roof … The brightness of the scene had to be judged by eye, since there were no exposure meters and photographers had various dodges by which they could assess the exposure. The Swedish photographer Gustav Rejlander actually used his cat, checking to see how much its pupils were dilated in order to assess how long an exposure to give.
[Jenny Woolf, The Mystery of Lewis Carroll]
[Photo of Charles Dodgson by Rejlander, 1863]

Now isn’t that just a cool use for a cat?

Life can only be understood backwards;
but it must be lived forwards.

[Soren Kierkegaard]

Another selection of recently encountered quotes which have amused on enlightened me.

Human Being: A creature that cuts trees to make paper and then writes “save the trees on the same paper”.
[Thoughts of Angel]

The most important lessons I gleaned […] had to do with learning to fail: getting my ass kicked and getting back up, again and again and again, until I mastered a given skill. Why wasn’t I willing to do the same for math?
[Jennifer Ouellette; Make Us Do the Math]

Learning to buckle down and do unpleasant things that don’t come easily to us prepares us for life.
[Jennifer Ouellette; Make Us Do the Math]

Only authoritarian and reactionary politicians benefit from a population for whom abstractions have no meaning. Such a population will be satisfied by sound bites and flag waving and will be placated by bread and circuses while their economy is subverted and their democracy implodes.
[Nick Warner quoted in Jennifer Ouellette; Make Us Do the Math]

Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren’t distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
[Randy K Milholland]

Of course I talk to myself … sometimes I need expert advice!
[Thoughts of Angel]

Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.
[Thomas Sowell, Is Reality Optional?, 1993]

The last is sadly truer than many would credit.