Category Archives: personal

personal, ramblings

What I Did Done

Sometime in early August, Emma Beddington wrote an article in the Guardian under the title Ignore those lists of goals to hit by age 30 – here’s what you should have done by 47.

Well I’m a bit past worrying about either 30 or 47, but it did get me thinking. I wonder what achievements and landmarks I managed in each decade of my life so far? Well here’s a list. It’s all a bit frightening really, when written down like this …

0 to 10

  • Entered the world and was healthy
  • Learnt to read, write, do arithmetic
  • Learnt to ride a bike
  • Learnt to swim
  • Introduced to nudism
  • Introduced to lightweight camping

10 to 20

  • Passed 11+
  • Sung in school choir (including Messiah, Benjamin Britten’s St Nicholas, and HMS Pinafore; also at St Paul’s Cathedral)
  • Scout troop leader
  • Visited the Lake District with school (twice), and Scotland with scouts (twice)
  • School prize for A-levels
  • Went to university to study chemistry
  • Learnt computer programming
  • Played cricket and hockey for school & university
  • Treasurer, and briefly Chairman, of university radio station
  • Broken engagement

20 to 30

  • Somehow got a BA, MSc & PhD
  • Representative on various staff/student committees & similar
  • Resident Tutor
  • Met Prof. Sir George Porter (Nobel Laureate) at Royal Institution
  • Converted to Catholicism and lapsed
  • 3rd XI club cricket captain
  • Learnt to umpire cricket, properly (but never bothered to take the exams)
  • Met my handful of most influential friends
  • Unemployed for 3 months
  • Permanent job (at IBM)
  • School governor
  • Organised a tour for my cricket club
  • Finally moved away from home
  • Got my own rented flat
  • Appendix removed and a summer off work
  • Married

30 to 40

  • Bought the house
  • Got our first cats
  • Organised a tour for a different cricket club
  • Had a summer off work with glandular fever
  • Had an affair

40 to 50

50 to 60

  • Father died
  • Started this blog
  • Retired (from IBM)
  • Silver wedding
  • Conducted the funeral of a friend; gave the eulogy at her husband’s funeral two years later
  • Got a piercing (don’t ask, TMIA)
  • Visited USA
  • Ran five Anthony Powell international conferences
  • Had Sunday Lunch at the Ritz
  • Visited Eton College; and Balliol College, Oxford
  • Met Ian Rankin and Tariq Ali
  • Attended the Service of the Most Noble Order of the Garter in St George’s Chapel, Windsor
  • Diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnoea and Type 2 Diabetes

60 to 70

  • Mother died
  • Became a state registered geriatric
  • Met the Earl of Gowrie; and Lady Antonia Fraser
  • Ran another four Anthony Powell international conferences
  • Had formal dinner (and informal lunch) in Masters Common Room of Eton College
  • Stood down as Secretary & Trustee of Anthony Powell Society after 18 years
  • Involved in founding GP’s patient group; appointed Chairman
  • Published (privately) a book of photographs
  • Bilateral knee replacements
  • Ruby Wedding
  • Attended Buckingham Palace Garden Party

Over 70

  • Appointed to my local council’s Community Review Panel

That includes a number of things I never dreamt I’d do, like visiting Eton College (and drinking their champagne); meeting an Earl who was also a former Cabinet minister; dining at the Ritz; attending a Buckingham Palace Garden Party.

So even if I exclude the things we all do – like reading, writing and losing parents – that’s still a somewhat mind-boggling list for a mediocre grammar school boy!

However I don’t really feel it is exceptional. Mostly because I’ve drifted; I’ve gone where the wind took me; none of this was a pre-planned long-term objective, because I’ve never had a life (or career) plan. I’ve done what was there at the time. If you’d asked me at 11, 18, or even 21, I couldn’t have predicted any of this (except the very obvious). And I find that somewhat scary.

amusements, personal

Unblogged August

Mon 1 Managed to get my monthly update for GP’s patient group members done early this month. Should make things easier later in the week. Far too much to do and to think about at the moment.
Tue 2 This weather is getting too draining. The warmth is fine, but the humidity! According to the forecast it has been around 50-60% humidity all day today (and that’s quite high) but we’re promised more like 90% humidity overnight – but no rain.
Wed 3 Oh the joy! Afternoon spent rewriting a poorly formatted webpage – and working out how to make it format the way I want. I won in the end.
Thu 4 Well that was a job that was long, long overdue: spent the afternoon sitting outside repotting all the houseplants. Almost every one was well pot-bound.
Fri 5 Another joyful trip to the dentist to have the crown I detached last weekend glued back on. Luckily partner (who I’ve not seen before) was able to achieve this – let’s hope it stays that way. Mind you £100 for 15 minutes work!
Sat 6 Oh! Nasty niff in the kitchen. Ah! Dead mouse behind the fridge, trying to hide in the works. I wonder which cat brought that in, and when?
Sun 7 The day to recover the wasp traps and spend the afternoon examining the catch. Answer: a lot of flies, but also … A couple of apparently common wasps (Vespula vulgaris) in one trap – but they have slightly strange markings. In the other trap one definite V. vulgaris and what looks like a solitary (predatory) wasp which I can’t identify. I was going to blog this, but then realised my photos weren’t up to standard. [The stranger turned out to be a male of the solitary bee Lasioglossus calceatum.]
Mon 8 Unexpected bonus visitors at lunchtime: two goldfinches drinking from the birdbath. Haven’t seen any in ages; good to know they’re still around.
Tue 9 Another bonus visitor at lunchtime: a humming-bird hawkmoth stopping by the buddleia. It was around for only a couple of minutes so no chance of getting a photo. Only the second time I’ve seen one here (previously in 2018) and only the third or fourth ever. They’re not rare, but not common; many are immigrants although they do overwinter and breed in the warmer south-west.
Wed 10 Humming-bird hawkmoth was back again at lunchtime having a quick snack from the buddleia. By the time I had a camera and got there of course it had gone. Still an excuse to sit in the sun for 15 minutes hoping it would return.
Thu 11 We’re obviously not playing enough cricket; or morris dancing. We need rain; lots of rain; and there’s none to speak of on the horizon. Our silver birch tree is so dry it looks like autumn, though I suspect it’s nearing the end of life as they live only 35-40 years.
Fri 12 Yet again the council are behind with the recycling (and rubbish) collections, as they have been for some weeks. Having got behind, they’re not catching up but continually slipping part of the next day – rinse and repeat. They say they’re a victim of the shortage of HGV drivers; ie. they don’t pay enough.
Sat 13 Phew! Just too hot again to do anything other than jellivate™. Luckily it’s supposed to be getting cooler after tomorrow, and we may even get some rain next week – but I’ll believe it when I see it.
Sun 14 Two nice rescues from the house last night, tho’ neither especially unusual. Female Southern Oak Bush Cricket and Straw Underwing moth. I know those Southern Oak Bush Crickets walk and jump well, but how do they get any distance with effectively vestigial wings?
Mon 15 Went to collect my new glasses. Nothing special; same rimless frames as before, but a marginally different colour. Fitting done with no fuss in about 15 minutes. I don’t know I’m wearing them. Why can’t everything be this easy?
Tue 16 So much for the rain we were being promised; it amounted to 10 minutes desultory drizzle. But thank heaven it is quite a bit cooler, although still nice and warm. Much rain forecast for tomorrow – well we can hope!
Wed 17 Rain! I thought it would never arrive, but mid-afternoon the heavens opened for an hour or so. In fact it was so heavy at one point I couldn’t see Horsenden Hill about half a mile away (by fastest crow).
Thu 18 Busy day. Good call with doctors’ Practice Manager and then after lunch to see our newest GP: very thorough; good communicator; very pleasant; all round good experience. Why is it that I’m more comfortable with female clinicians – certainly doctors, nurses, physio etc.? Oh, and the gardener was here all day too!
Fri 19 Big branch on our oak tree has cracked; it’s still attached but hanging down on the ground. Crack is too high for us to get to the limb, although we can hopefully trim the lower parts to make it safe temporarily. Yet more cost!
Sat 20 Demoralising is an understatement. I seem to be getting more depressed by the day; less able to make myself do anything meaningful; more wanting to curl up and ignore everything; more weepy. Over the years I’ve tried petty much everything short of psychedelics and electrodes in the brain, and I just don’t seem to be able to crack it. GOK what the winter is going to be like. And yet people see me as functioning.
Sun 21 Over the last week we’ve put quite a few goodies (like a chicken carcass) out for the foxes. So the trail camera has some wonderful pictures of fox demolishing said chicken and similar.
Mon 22 The tree surgeon cometh. He looketh. He speaketh money. Verily we concur. He goeth away with a promise to return on the morrow morn with lad(s) to do the work.
Tue 23 The tree surgeon’s lads arrive (late). The chainsaw revs. Broken oak branch removed. Small defunct cherry tree goes. Remains of very old dying apple tree also gone – thankfully the rambler roses are saved. Job done in about half an hour! I’m sure the guy next door was rejoicing as he thought we were removing all our trees, which he hates. What a shame we disappointed him! Meanwhile the pond guys also started today and worked like Trojans.
Wed 24 Pond nearly finished already. Filled with water; pump running. A few bits to finish off tomorrow. Looks really good. Pix when complete.
Thu 25 Rain! We have rain! By 6 this morning it had clearly been raining well for some time … and it continued to wee it down until lunchtime. So we all got soaked finishing off the pond, and the guys had done and gone by about noon. I can’t believe how quickly, efficiently and professionally they’ve done the whole job – even down to supplying some small fish and waterlilies! Brilliant!
Fri 26 Indulgent pudding: strawberries and cut-up almond croissant with lots of double cream. An Anglo-Frog variant of Eton Mess – except deconstructed.
Sat 27 Tootling round the garden, as one does, we stopped to look at the pond. Lots of little goldfish dashing hither and yon in the sun. And the waterlilies are already growing – one has a leaf on the surface having grown around 15cm in two days! Incredible!
Sun 28 Male blackcap skulking through the shrubs outside our dining room window at lunchtime. Accompanied by our usual selection of blue tits and great tits demolishing the peanuts.
And, as promised, here’s the newly refurbished pond; with all 4 waterlilies now having surfaced!
Mon 29 August Bank Holiday Monday. And it didn’t rain! It looked as if it might rain a couple of times, but nothing happened. Which sort of sums up the day all round.
Tue 30 The enormous pile of crap we accumulated in the front garden is gone. A glorious skip-full of old pond bits, shed detritus, garden crap, miscellaneous metal & electrical recycling, etc. etc. Removed same day by a registered waste company on their truck. Yes, it cost, but job done quickly & efficiently. Result!
Wed 31 A truly “meh” day to end the month. Not feeling great and at every turn there’s yet more that has to be done – including attending to the gardener, who like all gardeners can be a loose cannon if not supervised.
amusements, personal

Unblogged July

Fri 1 Monthly admin day again, and no sooner to clear one set of papers off the desk than two more arrive. Finally got to see some desk about teatime.
Sat 2 In the garden mid-afternoon, and a noise overhead. Looking up there’s a red kite and a gull, quite low, and I’m not sure who was escorting which off the premises. The kite was surprisingly bigger than the gull; absolutely majestic.
Sun 3 I seem to have spent all day writing my Chairman’s monthly update for the doctors’ patient group members – there was a never-ending list of healthcare items this month.
Mon 4 Following last week’s diabetes check-up, doctor and nurse not happy. Increase statins. No alcohol for a week. Hrmph!
Tue 5 I’m writing yet again. Today I’m working on a presentation about the places Anthony Powell lived, which I’ll probably end up giving later in the year.
Wed 6 Blimey. What a day. I’ve lost count of how many members of the government have resigned today – but it is far more than there should be members of the government to start with, which says a lot about our rotten to the core system.
Thu 7 It’s no wonder my PC refused to start this morning, and needed a helpdesk call. Johnson resigning is enough to frighten even inanimate objects, especially as his successor will likely be even more dangerous.
Fri 8 One of the three pupae collected from the garden a couple of weeks ago has hatched into a large “house fly”. Not sure how you get something that size from a small pupa. fly
Sat 9 The day for a haircut. Now really short again. So much more comfortable in this heat. And it’s due to get hotter.
Sun 10 What a good thing there’s nothing pressing to do today. Awake at 04:00 and 07:30. Next I know it’s 11:30! What happened there?
Mon 11 Part of what happened there was that I’d put my back out. Hopefully I’ve managed to settle it down and it is now just muscular. If not I shall have to find me a new osteopath.
Tue 12 It’s coming to something when the experts can’t even vaguely agree. Tonight’s weather: BBC says 1-2% chance of rain at any time tonight; Met Office say 40-50% chance of rain in the 2 hours around midnight. We had a few heavy spots just before 20:00.
Wed 13 This morning, a pile of feathers in the bedroom doorway. Just feathers; oh and a foot. No sign of a bird. No sign of a corpse. Has it been hidden or eaten? Guess we’ll find out when it starts smelling.
Thu 14 I was wondering why my morning fasting blood sugar levels had suddenly dropped about 10 days ago. Looks like it might be the hot weather. Who would have guessed this is a thing?
Fri 15 Another good insect day, after yesterday’s butterflies (which I blogged about). Today a Jersey Tiger Moth. Yes, they’ve spread from Jersey to the south coast (I first saw one in Lyme Regis about 20 years ago) and are gradually moving north. I’ve seen one here most years for the last 6 or 8. They’re absolutely stunning; and quite large. jersey tiger moth
Sat 16 Having bemoaned the lack of the usual butterflies this year, today saw a beautiful red admiral feeding on the buddleia. It was, of course, camera shy.
Sun 17 Saw the Lebanese guy next door this evening – first time in ages, so had a good long chat about everything from the eldest’s career aspirations to his plans to extend the house. His wife and 3 boys are in Lebanon for the summer.
Mon 18 Scorching day! Walking down the garden this evening we disturbed four, yes four, Jersey Tiger moths (red wing morph) in the woodland glade. All flying together; absolutely stunning! There’s something they obviously like here.
Tue 19 In more insect news … this morning an Oak Bush Cricket in the bathroom. Unfortunately N put it outside before I could catch it and work out exactly which species.
Wed 20 A pleasantly cooler day with a refreshing breeze. The last 2 days have been unbearable, but we did have some heavy rain late last evening (not enough though) and it cooled a lot overnight. But still warm enough for a Peacock butterfly on the buddleia at lunchtime.
Thu 21 Annual trip to the optician resulted in new glasses for me: £800 after the 20% discount! N escaped the rape of the credit card. We were there all morning chatting to the young lady dispenser.
Fri 22 I don’t understand supermarket deliveries. You book a 1 hour slot. Often they arrive during the slot; occasionally they’re late; but not infrequently they’re early – like an hour early, as this morning – and catch you on the hop.
Sat 23 Small but successful AP Soc. pub meet over Zoom. While it would be nicer to have real meets, using Zoom does allow those outside London, and especially outside UK, to participate – which is good.
Sun 24 Picked the first crop of runner beans. They’re quite early as they’re last year’s plants which I’ve over-wintered, so got a head start. They were very tasty (cooked & cold) in salad. runner beans
Mon 25 Two afternoons spent making zero progress on my family history: chasing Austens in Kent. Yes, that’s Jane Austen’s family. There are Austens everywhere; all the men seem to be called John, George or William; and they’re everything from baronets & surgeons to AgLabs. Can’t find a link to JA, but that’s hardly surprising given their proliferation.
Tue 26 A day of pushing jelly uphill through treacle with a toothpick. Everything took forever, not helped by being decidedly sleep short.
Wed 27 Sorry guys, I ducked this evening’s meeting. I just couldn’t face the endless waffle, especially knowing who was chairing it.
Thu 28 Oh God! More unnecessary, costly and over-hyped circus acts. Commonwealth Games. Gah!
Fri 29 It happens every week! By the time we get to Friday afternoon I’m firmly convinced it’s Saturday. And I cannot work out why. Guess I’m just going soft in the head.
Sat 30 Uncomfortably warm & sticky to go with a day of depression, anxiety and inability. No wonder I think it’s Sunday.
Sun 31 runner beansToday is the day we put out the wasp traps for the first of this year’s Big Wasp Survey slots. Two traps containing 200ml of lager, at different points of the garden, for 7 days.

As always it’ll be interesting to see what we catch, although I doubt we have any of the specific target species here; more likely to get the commoner ones in early September.

I can’t believe this is the sixth year of Big Wasp Survey!
personal

Unblogged June

Wed 1 Admin all the way to the bottom today – except for cooking prawns & pasta for tea.
Thu 2 It’s ER jubilee weekend. And a nice warm sunny day on which nothing much was done except the supermarket delivery.
Fri 3 Having despatched a juvenile robin the other day, today Rosie cat accounted for a juvenile blue tit. Most unusual for our cats; over the years we’ve had hardly any birds caught, but plenty of rodents.
Sat 4 Almond croissants. Especially good with strawberries and cream.
Sun 5 A typically English damp, grey and chilly bank holiday Sunday, which I made the most of by having a long lie-in.
Mon 6 Against all the odds (like big vet bills and restocking the wine rack) we remain solvent again this month.
Tue 7 ODTAA. Now the electrics are playing up. Downstairs circuits dropped twice in 12 hours. Electrician has been as I couldn’t restore it the first time, but he’ll need to come again and do some more diagnostics – and likely some expensive work!
Wed 8 Telecomms reconfiguration day. Broadband switched by 08:00; easy, but a fiddle to house the new hardware. Awaiting phone port to VoIP – hopefully tomorrow.
Thu 9 “Some days seem to fit together like a stained glass window. A hundred little pieces of different color and mood that, when combined, create a complete picture.” [Maggie Stiefvater, Shiver]
Then again, most days don’t.
Fri 10 What a chaotic day. A collision of supermarket delivery, the electrician, courier delivery, two gangs of bin men, migrating the phone line to VoIP, multiple phone calls & messages … Fortunately pretty much all over in time for late lunch and an afternoon trying to catch up.
Sat 11 The gardener comes. The gardener stays all day. Why is this so disruptive that it’s impossible to concentrate on doing anything else?
Sun 12 Up early and managed to get a lot of work-ish things done before the gardener came hither again. Still the garden is now looking a lot less like a jungle.
Mon 13 A swift! At last. I thought there were none this year. When we came here 41 years ago there were dozens of swifts. They’ve gradually declined and last year there were only 3. So I thought we may have none this year. Delighted they’re still around, however few.
Tue 14 What a lovely day. Shame about my hayfever, which was being a nuisance even indoors and spoiling enjoyment of doing anything outside. And that’s even with taking daily antihistamines since early April. Eye drops & nasal spray helped.
Wed 15 Another very successful AP Soc. conference talk over Zoom. An absolutely super presentation from a young PhD student: professional presentation and excellent content.
Thu 16 Hot, hot weather creates poor water conditions for our remaining (still temporarily housed) goldfish. Looks like we’ve lost all four. Bugger. Sorry, fishes. Mea culpa!
Fri 17 Incapable. Just too hot.
Sat 18 Oh! One of our little fishes survived. Hope we can keep him going while we get the pond refurbished.
Sun 19 Oh f**k! We’re not having a lot of luck at the moment. This evening a heavy le Creuset casserole lid slipped from the worktop, onto the open oven door, smashing the inner glass panel. Luckily only the glass panel appears damaged. What chance we can get a replacement panel? Don’t fancy the hassle or cost of (another) new oven.
Mon 20 It’s tax return time. Afternoon spent making sure I have all the documents I need for both my and N’s tax return. Boring – but then I should be able to fill in the forms quickly.
Tue 21 New oven door arrived. Go to fit it. What? Wrong size?! No? Yes! Stupid bugger here ordered the wrong part. F-U-C-K. (Hopefully right size now on the way.)
Wed 22 A guy came this morning to look at the pond, work out what to do, and give us a quote. Awaiting the quote but is sounds like it won’t be quite as ouchy as I feared – but they can’t do the work until late August at best.
Oh and the oven worketh once more. New glass panel arrived and it took longer to unpack than fit.
Thu 23 An enervating hot and humid day. The predicted thunderstorms didn’t materialise when we needed them, although apparently it was weeing down only 2 miles away.
Fri 24 Why can I not stay awake today? It was even worse than yesterday. I thought I had a reasonably good night, but ended up forcibly sleeping all afternoon – and then waking up depressed. But partly restored by hot baguette and steak.
Sat 25 Another successful AP Soc. Zoom social call. Only 10 of us, majority Americans, but lots of good literary discussion.
Sun 26 Spent a large chunk of the day sitting outside watching the gardener work. ☺
Mon 27 Phew! Got that horrible job done: completed and submitted both our tax returns in under 2 hours. Now we just have to pay the bills!
Tue 28 Our scruffy small lemon tree, which has lived outside for the last 3 years or more, is a mass of bloom. We’ve had 3 fruit from last year and there are still 2 on the bush, already loads of little fruit set this year, and still it flowers.
Wed 29 Why are NHS meetings so awful; and why do people have no clue how to make a point, ask a concise question, listen, and generally behave on a Zoom meeting? I had to give up halfway through tonight’s call as I couldn’t stand any more.
Thu 30 Annual diabetes check-up this morning. To my surprise the nurse isn’t unhappy and we had a long discussion about depression. She thinks I do a lot more than most people and shouldn’t be worrying about the depression and feeling guilty. But I know it could be so much better.
amusements, personal

Unblogged May

Sun 1 At least 13 keyboards & 15 mice unearthed in clearing out all the old computer junk; as well as a box of old cables. I wonder if they reproduce sexually or by parthenogenesis?
Mon 2 It’s always surprising how much better one feels for a haircut.
Tue 3 Today has been one of pushing jelly uphill through treacle with a toothpick – so many things had to be fixed or cajoled into working properly.
Wed 4 Today, not one, but two 5 minute jobs that actually took five minutes! And they avoided London bus syndrome, by not arriving three together.
Thu 5 Local election day, and how nice not to have to flog round to the polling station having already voted by post.
Fri 6 Watching Tilly cat this evening sitting quietly . Waiting. Squirrel daft enough to trot along the fence a foot above her. And oh, she so nearly got it; if only she hadn’t needed to hang onto the fence! Yon squirrel had a very lucky escape.
Sat 7 What’s that big bird circling high a couple of streets away? Binoculars. Buzzard: right size; right flight pattern; right tail; wings too slender & pointed. Red Kite: right size; right flight pattern; right wings; but tail convex & curved, not forked. Gull: right size; right wings; not sure about the tail; but unusual flight pattern. Falcon: too big. And we don’t have osprey or marsh harriers round here!
Sun 8 Several good pictures of our foxes on the trail camera this week, as they’re out and about more in daylight (dusk and dawn anyway) at the moment as they’ll have cubs to feed. I wonder where their den is?
Mon 9 Something ails the boiler. There is no hot water – well there is intermittent hot water. Looks like something to do with a pressure somewhere. Call out to our gas engineer.
Tue 10 Having managed the sum total of 3 hours sleep, I was sufficiently wrecked that I cancelled my morning meeting. And felt a lot better after another 2 hours sleep.
Wed 11 Wet & windy. There was a good chill breeze in the bedroom window at 3am. And windy rain by the time I surfaced md-morning. But a nice sunny evening.
Thu 12 Finally bit the bullet and placed an order to move the house phone & broadband away from BT to a VoIP provider. Moved the outgoing calls a year ago. When all done we should be saving around £20 a month.
Fri 13 Hold on! Today’s Friday (no not Saturday) and it’s the 13th. No wonder it’s one of those days when everything fights back.
Sat 14 N and I spent the afternoon baking: rhubarb tart and cheese scones with tomato & garlic. Then for dinner: lemony salmon, garlic potatoes, asparagus, tomatoes & mushrooms (all done in parcels in the oven) followed by strawberries & cream; washed down with a bottle of bubbly. Talk about living like the gentry!
Sun 15 Sunday morning. Oh what fun! Trying to get worming tablets down three cats and then flea treat them. Three very pissed off felines all went out. Not sure how I escaped intact!
Mon 16 A day spent chasing my tail, which doesn’t bode well for the next fortnight, which is going to be almost endless chasing of tails to keep up.
Tue 17 And suddenly the garden is awash with roses.
Wed 18 Phew! Two days of Zoom calls of all sorts = fair knackeration.
Thu 19 The gas man cometh – NOT! His previous job has overrun so our boiler service must wait. A nuisance, but we needed a quiet day.
Fri 20 Two young great tits around the nut basket at lunchtime; they must be almost independent but were still being fed insects the parents were picking off the plants. But sadly varmint Rosie cat later destroyed a long-tailed tit – and we ain’t got too many of them.
Sat 21 Yay! The gardener cometh for the first time this year. But Nooo! Also cometh the labyrinthitis (again); if it’s as resistant as last time it’ll be a trip to the doctor’s.
Sun 22 Reprise the gardener. At least we can now walk down the front path without needing a machete.
Mon 23 Vertical hold still on the blink, so spent most of the day horizontal. Cancelled tomorrow’s trip to the dentist.
Tue 24 Vertical hold returning to normal, but very glad to have cancelled the dentist appointments.
Wed 25 <expletive deleted> banks!
Thu 26 N heroically took all 3 cats to the vet for shots, and Boy Cat for some dental work – poor little beggar has had 4 extractions!
Fri 27 Blimey, that’s two weeks in a row that the supermarket delivery has been 100% correct. A couple of items not available, but an overall improvement.
Sat 28 OMG! Must celebrate. I won £10.30 on the lottery. That doubles this year’s winnings.
Sun 29 Picked 2 small (lime-size) lemons from the treelet on our patio. Last year’s flowers; now just ripe. Tried a thin slice from one; really lovely; not too acid. Was gorgeous in my G&T, and the flesh was good afterwards too. Exeunt scurvy.
Mon 30 The gas man cometh (at last) to service the boiler and flush the heating system. Three cats head for the hills, but return in time for an afternoon snack!
Tue 31 Somehow I managed to find time – and just enough enthusiasm – to cut my hair, in between all the chaos of the day.
amusements, personal

Unblogged April

Fri 1 Cold, with wintry showers. Sorry, this is not an April Fool.
Sat 2 Why do my fingers smell of curry? Because earlier this afternoon I was immersing 3 poussins (which I’d spatchcocked) in a curry marinade, ready for tomorrow.
Sun 3 My stupid chilli plants. Pruned a month ago, they’ve grown at most 6 inches, and already have flower buds.
Mon 4 Last week was one of “those” weeks. It’s only Monday and this week has already qualified to join it.
Tue 5 Had to bite the bullet and order Mrs M a new PC having failed to satisfactorily wrangle the current one back to working well. I don’t know what she does to them. Still she’s paying! Now looking at upgrading mine too – it’s only money!
Wed 6 Pigeons pecking peacefully at discarded seeds. Suddenly a flash of tabby & white from nowhere (ie. behind the hedge). Pigeons scatter airward. Tabby & white already back in lair. So fast I couldn’t even see if the cat got pigeon for lunch.
Thu 7 Body clearly making up for two short nights sleep. Awake at 7 this morning; next I know it’s 11. Been behind all day as a result.
Fri 8 Having ordered Mrs M a new PC, I’m now seriously looking at one for me. Can’t get something beefy enough off the shelf; don’t want to DIY it; but custom builds take at least 6 weeks (why?).
Sat 9 I’d given up on them. Special offer wisteria plants ordered early in the year should have arrived a couple of weeks ago. But they arrived today, and look good, if small. Now to find good pots for them.
Sun 10 Still playing hunt the PC. Have found a possible (well reviewed) supplier who will custom build in under 2 weeks and is UK-based. I feel an order coming on this week.
Mon 11 Another wasted day … waiting for the delivery of Mrs M’s new PC. But UPS didn’t.
Tue 12 The lawn hasn’t been cut for almost a year but surprisingly is only half way up our cats. This week it’s growing a brilliant crop of cheery bright yellow dandelions. I’m torn between leaving them, picking the petals to make wine, picking the leaves for salad or digging up the roots and roasting them for coffee.
Wed 13 And yes, Spring really is a-coming in. The cherry tree and crab apple are in flower, the other apples are well on the way, and in the last couple of days the first butterflies: brimstone and holly blue.
Thu 14 Two punnets of raspberries in the supermarket delivery; and different varieties. “Malling Bella”, grown in Spain: large, dark red, luscious berries (almost like good loganberries); superb fragrance and flavour. “Kwanza”, grown in Portugal: lighter red and smaller berries, perfectly nice raspberries but definitely less flavour and rather more tart. Eaten for pudding with flaked chocolate and double cream. Yum!
Fri 15 Spent most of the day setting up N’s new PC. Actually Windows 11 isn’t as bad as most people make out. Yes, it’s different, but if you use the setup options carefully it isn’t that different. One good thing is that the machine came with Windows 11 Home, but there’s an instant upgrade to Windows 11 Pro (for a fee, of course) – and I mean it is instant!
Sat 16 The bluebells are out and the lilac is not far behind. It’s also been a good couple of days for butterflies: as well as the brimstone and holly blue of a few days ago, today a beautiful new speckled wood dancing in the sunshine.
Sun 17 So we have a lovely sunny long weekend, and what am I doing? Sitting indoors “jellivating” because I just can’t make myself do anything. Bah! Depression!
Mon 18 An afternoon spend fiddling about with family history; trying to see if anything pops up on any of the problem areas. No, nothing.
Tue 19 You can tell Spring is here. I’ve just spent the last three days (and of course nights) without a stitch of clothing. OK, I’ve not been parading around the garden showing off to the neighbours, but I have been 3-4 metres outside the back door.
Wed 20 Phew! At last I’ve finished fettling N’s new PC, having been waiting on a backup drive and then testing. Now all I have to do is install it on her desk. By which time my new PC will have arrived (assuming DPD play properly).
Thu 21 Today feels like a day spent marking time. Still, N’s PC is installed on her desk. Meanwhile my PC has arrived in 2 large boxes, which will be investigated tomorrow.
Fri 22 Restaurant quality food this evening. N did an old favourite of hers: Pork in mushroom & cream sauce. Very yum!
Sat 23 Hmmm … fresh pineapple with coffee ice cream doesn’t quite work. But it was an interesting experiment!
Sun 24 They tell me today was Sunday.
Mon 25 Two full days slog has got my new PC to the stage where it can get it installed tomorrow for the final conversion.
Tue 26 Phew! Finally the new PC is in place. Just a couple of glitches still to settle, plus setting up automatic backups.
Wed 27 After several nice warm days, it’s a typical English Spring – back to being dull, grey and not very warm. And good grief, the birds have emptied the nut feeder again, in about 4 days; mind you, they’ve likely been helped by the local squirrel.
Thu 28 It’s all computing at the moment. Decided to clear out all our old computer junk. Started with the 2 crates worth under my desk. Found a laptop which hasn’t been touched in over 3 years; it still boots into Windows 10 with the correct date & time too!
Fri 29 Very early this morning (like 06:30-ish) saw two pairs of birds high up; one pair appearing to pass something between them. They looked very like Hirundines of some form: I don’t think swifts as the flight wasn’t quite right; more likely house martins; possibly swallows. Only in view for a few seconds, so hard to be certain.
Sat 30 You stand in the kitchen putting together some salad, and the cats drive you demented. Tilly and Rosie are in and out, crashing through the catdoor, as if on elastic. Scarcely a minute goes by but one or other is going one way or the other! I’ve never before known cats like these two.
amusements, personal

Unblogged March

Tue 1 It’s daffy-dilly day – and no surprise they are in this wet weather! Next up will be the sham-rocks followed by the bleeding-roses. Three in close succession like London buses.
Wed 2 We’ve had so much rain in the last few days that today there was standing water in the garden – despite the affected area having been raised about 3 inches a couple of years ago.
Thu 3 Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy. Definitely very unstable in the head, with headache and general flu-y feeling. Negative LFT. Retired back to bed and slept.
Fri 4 Definitely not well, but less dizzy than yesterday. LFT still negative.
Sat 5 Much as yesterday, but slowly improving. LFT still negative. Feeling better enough to try to do the crossword.
Sun 6 Rinse and repeat – but managed to stay upright most of the day.
Mon 7 It’s that time of year when you start sorting household finances and it goes on, and on and on … because you realise you need to set up next year’s tax files, get upsides of billing & payments which change in April …
Tue 8 What a lovely sunny day, although chilly in the breeze. Lots of small daffodils now out in the garden, and the deeper mauve crocuses are still going strong. The magenta hellebore is almost finished as are the snowdrops.
Wed 9 Tied to my desk all day becase of another of those “It’s that time of year” jobs: subscription reminders for the AP Soc. Even so I didn’t manage to finish it as everything always needs rewriting.
Thu 10 Awoken at 06:00 by 5kg of cat landing on the solar plexus. So up at 07:00 and a huge amount of work shifted before my meeting at 10:00. In fact large amounts shifted right through to 19:00.
Fri 11 Nice delivery of half a case of Champagne. Two are a retirement present for a friend.
Sat 12 Was intending to (re)frame some pictures this afternoon, but not a chance. Spent the time instead cooking fruit and then duck and pepper stir-fry with noodles for dinner.
Sun 13 Why is it that some days everything conspires to get in the way: not serious buggeration but just enough awkward to make everything more difficult. Still I did manage to cook steak & chips for dinner, washed down with bottle of Champagne. Remember Hester Browne’s words: Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge.
Mon 14 For once, a day of doing almost nothing apart from fiddling about. It wasn’t really “play” more like wasting time.
Tue 15 This morning there were some lovely mackerel cirrus clouds – photographed badly through the window.
Wed 16 A really strange yellowy/peachy light in late morning, dissipating by the end of lunch (possibly with the rain). Seems like it was Saharan dust dragged northwards by a storm over Spain.
Thu 17 It’s been very quiet round here for Sham-Rock Day!
Fri 18 Gorgeous silvery full moon, especially enchanting seen through the trees this evening.
Sat 19 Last night’s moon turned into an equally lovely moon set around dawn, followed by a warm(er) sunny Spring day.
Sun 20 Why is sex at 6am always such a failure? To compensate the afternoon was spent photographing vases of daffodils and tulips.
Mon 21 Afternoon spent trying to untangle another knot in my family history, back in mid-18th century … and failing. Either there are lots of records missing from some Kent parishes, people are telling porkies, or they really do parachute in from nowhere.
Tue 22 A rare treat: home cooked curry eaten in front of the TV. So decadent.
Wed 23 Another literary society talk hosted on Zoom. We’re getting good audiences; over 50 again tonight.
Thu 24 The first queen wasp of the season let itself in the study window this afternoon; and was eventually ushered out again.
Disappointed I didn’t catch it and ID it. I was beginning to think there were none this year as they had a poor year last summer.
Fri 25 Why is it that by the time we get to Friday lunchtime I’m convinced it’s Saturday? And continue to think it’s Saturday all day however much I remind myself it isn’t.
Sat 26 Up betimes so lots done before hosting a lunchtime Zoom call, only to undo the good work by falling asleep for a large chunk of the afternoon. Well it is Sunday, isn’t it?!
Sun 27 Horrible day! (1) Bloody changing the clocks again, for no useful reason. (2) The general nausea of Mother’s Day. (3) Banks getting in the way of business for no reason apart from their profit. (4) A borked literary society website. “Life. Don’t talk to me about life!”
Mon 28 Used the Royal Mail facility to come and collect your parcel to go – for a small fee (48p to me). Haven’t used this before, but on this one showing it seems a good scheme. And I managed to fix the borked website.
Tue 29 What happened at the coalface today? I have no clue!
Wed 30 How many times does one get woken at some uncivilised hour by 5kg of cat landing unannounced on the solar plexus? And then they snuggle down and look cute. But try shutting them out the bedroom and there’s a riot.
Thu 31 It snowed. This morning. Big healthy lumps of snow. For 2 minutes. Long interlude. Repeat Scene 1 at teatime. Fin.
amusements, personal

Unblogged February

Tue 1 Like the first of every month, a day full of tedious admin: household, literary society, patient group … It just multiplies.
Wed 2 Good grief! My chilli plants are still producing a few fruit. Picked 5 today. But they’ll get pruned back later this month so they can put up new growth and hopefully a good crop for a third summer.
Thu 3 Successfully bid for another picture at our local auction house. It’s the brother of one I already have, so really wanted, and I was surprised to get it as cheaply as I did.
Fri 4 Why do jobs always take 10 times longer than they should. A 15 minute update to a website this afternoon took over 4 hours of endlessly fiddling around. And that was just one of 10 things I was supposed to do in that time. Hello weekend – NOT!
Sat 5 So intent on slogging away at website updates this afternoon, I didn’t realise how cold I was – absolutely frozen. Unusually for me I needed a thick sweater to warm up.
Sun 6 Rain lashing down and a gale blowing all night. Wet when I went to bed, and still wet when I got up at 07:15. Awoken, of course, by a drowned Boy cat arriving at 06:15. Still, up early meant lots done.
Mon 7 Went to collect the painting I bought last week at our local auction house. First time going somewhere non-medical in almost 2 years!
The crocuses and the alder catkins are coming out, in lovely Spring-like sunshine.
Tue 8 Discovered why one of our tubs of bulbs had fallen from its position to lie on its side on the lawn below. The trail camera shows Mr Fox jumping up on it from below, making it topple over the edge. Exit Mr Fox in haste.
Wed 9 BookReceived an interesting-looking new book in the mail: Understanding European Wines by Charlie Boston. I don’t know the author, but I do know the guy who’s written an introduction about Anthony Powell and Wine. It goes straight to the top of Mount TBR.
Thu 10 Lovely trip to the dentist this morning. An hour in the chair for crown prep, but no impressions as they now have a wizzy machine which does scans instead. Sad that as I opted for a gold crown, I won’t get to see the scans printed as a crown onsite: gold has to go to the lab.
Fri 11 Actually managed to do a bit of family history today for the first time in ages. And here’s an interesting problem: my half-aunt wants a printed chart of the family line back as far as I have it. This runs to 28 sheets of A4 (14×2) so will be about 3×0.5 metres! How best to do it?
Sat 12 Family history curiosity of the day. May 1563 in Cranbrook, Kent; marriage between Reynolde Madisson and Frysweed Webb. Then in the same church in June 1626; marriage between William Unicombe and Regenerat Weekes. (Sadly none are mine.)
Sun 13 Sunday lunch of cold leftover chicken & chickpea curry sandwiches. The curry maybe even better than it was hot last night. Plus an improved loaf thanks to the new bread machine (the old one has retired after almost 10 years!).
Mon 14 How is this our 44th Valentine’s Day together? Our first (1979) was really cold; like 5cm of ice even on major roads, but the buses were still running. We were at my parents and still managed to go out (by bus) to a fantastic local restaurant: Blunk’s in Waltham Abbey (now long gone). The meal cost £50 (almost a week’s take-home) for the 2 of us!
Tue 15 Dear God! How much more rain can the garden take? We’ll soon be swimming in mud; the continual parade of muddy paws suggests the cats already are.
Wed 16 Hosted the second evening talk for the literary society. An immensely interesting talk from Nick Birns which was well attended. An hour easily turned into an hour and a half.
Thu 17 Great fun after dinner: we decided to strip down the old bread machine for recycling. Two of us and one hour to produce a carrier bag of metal/electrical parts and one of plastic parts; plus hundreds of screws; and a bonus cut finger from the brittle, heat-stressed plastic.
Fri 18 We’ve not had wind like this since the Great Storm of October 1987. The Gods have obviously forgotten about the effect of beans and Jerusalem artichokes.
Sat 19 I’ve been far too lax during the pandemic about wearing my hearing aids around home. So I’m making a concerted effort to get used to wearing them during the day. Let’s see if I can keep it up.
Sun 20 The bloody Winter Olympics are over, thank the gods! They’re not intended to be, but all Olympics have become a nauseating festival of global corruption and willy-waving.
Mon 21 What’s this? The third storm in a week? And not even any snow? Now come on, this just isn’t playing the game, even for winter in London.
Tue 22 Early evening meeting. Why are they always across food time? And how much longer can they resist meeting in person, which still worries me witless.
Wed 23 Lamb Shank & Fennel Casserole with Garlic Bread for dinner. I also cooked Chicken & Mushroom Pie (with homemade shortcrust pastry!), so we have that (cold) for tomorrow.
Thu 24 To the dentist (the only reason I didn’t have toasted garlic bread for breakfast) to get my new piece of gold mouth jewellery. Then spent a chunk of the afternoon picking oakum: demolishing some cotton string to make bird nesting material.
Fri 25 Arrggghhhh!!!!! No supermarket delivery due to IT issues. Have had to rebook it for tomorrow. Now tell me why we have a full freezer.
Sat 26 Finally got the supermarket delivery this afternoon. The the logic (or incompetence) of the pickers continues to astonish me. This week we were short 2 bunches of daffodils; but gained 1 fennel (3 rather than 2) and 3 tubes of tomato paste (8 rather than 5). OK we win but that’s a hard way to make a profit.
Sun 27 Found an error in my family tree: Elizabeth Cotton, wife of Stephen Marshall (right name; wrong identity). Stephen (born c.1763) is currently the furthest I can get my paternal line; I know where he logically fits but I don’t have the evidence, and the records seem not to exist. I now know Elizabeth Cotton’s name, but no details.
Mon 28 Absolutely no go, either mental or physical, today despite a reasonable night. So, yet again, little got done – and none of the things I’d planned.
amusements, personal

Unblogged January

Sat 1 A new year it may be, but why does everything else have to change? Spent the whole day reorganising the date-driven irritations of life.
Sun 2 Oh bugger! The first time I eat a toffee in 6 months and what do I do? Yes, you guessed … detach one of my big gold crowns. Still my dentist will enjoy the £££.
Mon 3 So it’s a bank holiday. And yet again I spend the day working, when I should have been doing family history. Gah!
Tue 4 I don’t understand why it is that we sometimes have a dreadful night’s sleep. Last night I saw 03:30, but then slept until 11:00. Why? I can’t comprehend.
Wed 5 What a wonderful bright but frosty morning. Why can’t all winter days be like this?
Thu 6 Another wonderful bright, very frosty morning – a really hard frost too, possibly the hardest frost here for years. All clouded over and dull by lunchtime. Then at sunset there was a really odd light: at first peachy, then pinker, and finally a sort of violet/lavender, but with a pretty ordinary sunset.
Fri 7 Another nice sunny morning, but another day feeling well below par, though improved. Done several LFT in the last few days, all negative. It feels like a sinus infection – made worse by the anxiety.
Sat 8 The cats definitely had the right idea today: curled up, comfy and sleeping. All the while there’s cold, grey rain outside.
Sun 9 Tonight yet another variant on Mary Berry’s Sausage Supper. This time with a couple of jointed poussin marinaded in lemon & brandy. I did plenty of veg so there’s leftover chicken & veg for cold, or risotto, or stuffed peppers.
Mon 10 Dymo label printer is printing tape in pale grey; labels are OK. Software is up to date. Buy new printer. Same problem. Install different Dymo software. Problem fixed. Not the first time they’ve screwed their software.
Tue 11 At lunchtime today I completed my 71st year. How did this happen? I thought I had a lifetime ahead. Arrggghhhhh!
Wed 12 That tree branch is swaying about. Oh, there’s a tail. Good afternoon squirrel!
Thu 13 What a lovely sunny day for a trip to the dentist! Until I’m told I need a new crown to replace the one that came off. Even more £££ for my dentist to enjoy. Can I get a mortgage on it?
Fri 14 Amongst the little band of blue tits and great tits around our garden, there’s a female blackcap. They’ve now been joined by a handful of long-tailed tits, which are always a delight to see. And do they get through the nuts quickly!
Sat 15 Someone stole Horsenden Hill. Awoke to a very foggy morning with visibility of about 100m. Horsenden Hill 1km away might just as well not have been there. They brought it back about lunchtime.
Sun 16 Oh so nearly! Rosie cat came within a foot of getting that squirrel! Only minutes earlier I’d said to N that she was certainly fast enough.
Mon 17 Went looking for my direct ancestors on the 1921 census. I think I found them all although two entries are somewhat doubtful and will need checking when it isn’t pay-per-view and many alternatives can be examined.
Tue 18 Mist descending at 04:45 so I was surprised to awake to a bright, sunny morning. Although the mist drifted in and out until lunchtime.
Wed 19 Hosted on Zoom the first of a (hopefully) monthly series of talks for the AP Soc. which replace our abandoned 2021 conference. Audience of 50+. Seemed to go well and pretty smoothly.
Thu 20 We had a long discussion over dinner about our childhoods, our parents’ childhoods, and how this has affected us. Did we get the affection we needed as kids? No. And my parents and at least my father’s parents struggled financially which has contributed to the knock-on effects. What you see now is very much me having risen above my childhood and instincts.
Fri 21 Escrow. It’s an odd word, meaning “a deposit held in trust or as security” [OED]. Derived from the Old Germanic skraudo- (whence English shred n.) via the Anglo-Norman escrowe. Although already known in Early Modern English it seems to have passed into more regular usage via the Americans.
Sat 22 Dessert this evening: fresh strawberries with flaked white Toblerone and double cream. Yum.
Sun 23 A day of best intentions being side-lined. Why? Just because. And because neither of us could be arsed.
Mon 24 We spent the day rejigging the box files on the top shelf over my desk. Lots of boxes archived and some new ones created for the overflows & expansion. Seeing the dust & muck which ended up on my desk I can quite see how poor souls can be swamped by volcano ash.
Tue 25 One of the guys I know from school (the head boy from the year above me) is writing about the old school days. Scanned and sent him quite a few pages from my press cuttings file, including play programmes and articles from the school magazine.
Wed 26 News in the last couple of days of two friends having died around the turn of the year; one 84, the other nearer 94. They were two of life’s gentlemen. Let’s hope there won’t be a third.
Thu 27 What was I saying earlier about not understanding sleep? Last night I was asleep soon after midnight and still slept until almost 11:00. So I’ve been playing catch-up all day. Anyone would think I was still a teenager!
Fri 28 A quick, unscientific tasting of three different Domaine Tariquet Armagnacs at the end of dinner. (Two from Wine Society, one from Waitrose; but two of three are now not available!) Need to taste again, more carefully. Oldest certainly smoothest, though maybe not quite as much character – but all have a lovely bouquet of church incense.
Sat 29 I’m told that today happened. But I couldn’t be at all sure. Nothing seems to have been achieved, except I cooked dinner.
Sun 30 Why re there crows flying hither and yon at the front of the house? Ah, I see. A parliament of at least two dozen crows in yonder poplar trees. Apparently their annual Spring gathering for speed dating.
Mon 31 Went for my annual diabetic eye scan this morning. Why is it always on a bright sunny day? But again this year I got away without drops to dilate my eyes. Definite result. Awaiting the results.
amusements, memes, personal

Birthday Meme 2022

Something a bit different and off the wall (well, hanging precariously anyway) for this year’s Birthday Meme.

  1. Describe your personality.
    Lime green with spots; the spots start pink, then turn sky blue and fade out in golden yellow. All the while enhanced by wearing a purple stupidity.
  2. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
    Oh so many choices! Boris Johnson has to be petty much at the top of the list, along with Michael Gove and David Cameron who combined got us right into this mess. Mind you the whole government are in the firing line. Bring back Guy Fawkes.
  3. What shape is the sky?
    A flat plane in an arbitrary, possibly fractional, number greater than 4 dimensions. You get to choose the number, ‘cos no-one else can agree. Personally I favour 7.43.
  4. Where do all the daylight saving hours go?
    They’re stored in a large warehouse in Outer Azerbaijan and used sparingly to give us sunny days during the winter.
  5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
    A yew. Sturdy; evergreen; long lived; green on the outside and threateningly dark inside; with poisonous berries.

  6. What is your favourite place in the UK?
    Dungeness (above). Closely followed by Forde Abbey (in Dorset); Rye; and Lyme Regis.
  7. If you could make a rule for a day and everyone had to follow it, what would it be?
    All clothes are banned and everyone must be nude at all times, and in all places. For ever, and ever. Amen.
  8. If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the ends of your arms?
    Octopus tentacles with eyes on the tip. Just so useful, and such fun!

  9. What mythical creature would improve the world most if it existed?
    Dragon. Think of all those unsuspecting twats it could toast. We could solve the population crisis overnight.
  10. If you had a pet parrot, what would you teach it to say?
    “It’s yer coons, innit.” (in similitude Alf Garnett). Well no-one said it had to be PC.
  11. What crazy name would you give your kid if you were a celebrity?
    Oh so many options. How about: Chardonnay-Madonna CherryPie or Coconut Bingo or Merkin Shaggy Cock.
  12. If you won a trip to go anywhere on earth, where would you go?
    Iceland or more likely Japan (Kyoto & Niigata, above, rather than Tokyo).
  13. Do you believe in the paranormal and would you go ghost hunting?
    My scientific head says “no”; but my heart says “yes” – There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
    And of course I’d go ghost hunting; science is there to find out.
  14. Do you talk to garden gnomes? What do you say to them?
    We usually have a good gossip; they see most of what’s going on:
    “Hello, Old Chap. What’s the latest on the grapevine?”
    “I saw Mrs Jones had a visit from the coalman last Monday; he was there 2 hours. He left hurriedly ‘cos her husband was coming up the road. And he was ever so clean when he left.”
  15. Pick one of your favourite quotes.
    Granny grasped her broomstick purposefully. “Million-to-one chances,” she said, “crop up nine times out of ten.”
    [Terry Pratchett; Equal Rites]