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Advent Calendar 1
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Category Archives: memes
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Birthday Meme
Just for a bit of fun, I thought I’d make up my own birthday meme. Hopefully it doesn’t give too much away!
- Do you share your birthday with anyone well known? Yes, former miners’ leader Arthur Scargill (b.1938), golfer Ben Crenshaw (b.1952) and England footballer Bryan Robson (b.1957).
- Do you share your birthday with anyone you know? Yes, JP.
- Do you share your birthday with an historical figure? Yes, most notable Harry Gordon Selfridge (b.1858), founder of the eponymous London department store; also James Paget (b.1814, English surgeon and pathologist) and Ezra Cornell (b.1807, founder of Western Union and Cornell University).
- Do you share your birthday with an important historical event? Again yes, the first recorded lottery in England in 1569.
- Where were you born? University College Hospital, London.
- What time of day were you born? Just in time for lunch! [No change there then!]
- How much did you weigh? Something over 8lb.
- Who are you named after? No-one to my knowledge, although I do have my mother’s family name embedded.
- Zodiac sign? Capricorn.
- Chinese zodiac sign? Metal Tiger.
- Innie or Outie? Innie.
- Do you wear glasses or contact lenses? Glasses since I was about 14.
- What have you had pierced or tattooed? No tattoos, and you really do not want to know where my piercing is.
- Do you still have your tonsils? Yes, I still have my tonsils, but I’ve been robbed of my appendix, a deformed fingernail and my right knee joint.
- At what age did you become aware of pornography? I think probably at about 13.
- What is your best attribute? An analytical brain.
- What is the thing you least like about yourself? An ability to be tactlessly outspoken.
- With who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Noreen, Katy.
- The last time you felt broken? Today — it’s a knee thing.
- Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.
- Have you ever taken drugs; if so what? Only the West’s drugs of choice: alcohol and tobacco.
- Who amongst your current friends (not family) have you known the longest? Ken King; we were at primary school together 50+ years ago and have recently make contact again.
- Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? Yes; but no I’m not going to tell you who!
- Are you cool with talking about sex? Yes.
- Who did you lose your virginity to? Faith.
- Has reading a book ever changed your life? Yes, see this from my Zen Mischief weblog.
- What were you doing when you last lost track of the time? Being wheeled into the operating theatre.
- What can you do today that you couldn’t do a year ago? Use crutches properly.
- Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes, of course; we all change all the time.
- What will you be able to do at this time next year that you can’t now? With luck I’ll be able to walk properly.
- If you had to be executed but could choose the method, what method would you choose? Instantaneous poison.
- What will people say at your funeral? “Phew! There goes that PITA at last.”
So you’re all now challenged to complete this on (or even not on) your birthday each year. The only rule is that you must add or change at least one question each year. Have fun!
Ay to Zee
I’ve decided that we’ll have another irregular series, an A to Z. Unlike 10 things this won’t be a regular monthly feature — I considered it and thought that one such a month was enough and I’d do an A-Z when the whim takes me. I also decided that we’ll start with …
An A-Z of Me
A — Age: 63 on the calendar. Mentally it varies from 21 to 91. Physically it feels more like 163.
B — Blood Type: Not a clue; I’ve never been told.
C — Chore You Hate: All of them, especially housework.
D — Dogs or Cats: Definitely cats. I don’t dislike dogs but I don’t have the affinity with them I do with cats.
E — Expletive Deleted: Usually f**k or c**t.
F — Fun Thing: The London Eye.
G — Greatest Accomplishment: Survival.
H — Haircut: Yes, I finally managed to get to the barber last week; only 6 weeks late!
I — I’d Like To Be: Thinner, fitter and richer.
J — Japan or China: Japan. I’d like to see both although Japan would win, except that I disapprove of their stance on whaling and I don’t much fancy a 12+ hour flight.
K — Kids: No, thank goodness. Two cats is enough, thank you!
L — Luxury: A warm, sunny, sandy beach and an endless supply of cool beer.
M — Married: Yes for half a lifetime.
N — Nude or Clothed: Nude when possible, clothed when necessary. In that order.
O — Operation: Yes, I’ve had several but nothing major: appendix, sinuses, knees.
P — Piercings: Yes one, somewhere you probably don’t want to know about.
Q — Quirky Possession: A Tibetan singing bowl and two Bhutanese Thanka.
R — Random Fact: I’ve never eaten a hamster or a goldfish, either alive or dead.
S — Siblings: No, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to have brothers and sisters.
T — Tattoos: Not yet.
U — Underwear: Only when I have to.
V — Vanilla or Chocolate: Vanilla. While I don’t mind real chocolate I dislike chocolate flavouring. Though I had some mango sorbet the other day which was out of this world!
W — Waiting for: A big lottery win.
X — X-Rays: Had a few of these over the years and always found the images fascinating.
Y — Yummy Food: Curry.
Z — Zoo Animal Favourite: Meercats and the aquarium.
What about you? Either leave your answers in the comments or on your blog with a link in the comments.
And another A-Z when the mood takes me.
Silly Age Meme
OK so Katyboo tagged me on Facebook in one of these silly memes. Well I did sort of invite it really, so it’s all self-inflicted — no change there then!
The meme is about what you were doing at some randomly assigned age …
Age I was given: 44
Where I lived: Greenford, West London
What I drove: Nothing; I don’t drive
What I did: Worked for IBM UK; Project Manager for deployment of laptops to all IBM employees in the UK
Who had my heart: The Norn who must be obeyed
Age now: 62
Where I live: Greenford, West London
What I drive: Nothing; I still don’t drive and may not now be allowed to even if I wanted to (which I don’t)
What I do: Retired; Hon. Secretary of Anthony Powell Society; Chairman of my doctors’ Patient Group; active member of HealthWatch Ealing
Who has my heart: The same Norn who must be obeyed
If you want to play this silly game, leave a comment and I’ll give you an age.
Five Questions, Series 4 #5
So, at last, we get to the final question of series 4 of Five Questions.
There is only one possible answer to that … ME!
You think I’m joking? Then you’ve not seen the size of me!
What?! You want a more serious answer?! You mean that isn’t good enough?!
Well if you push me then the answer has to be (a) depression and (b) not enough hours in the day to get done what I want to do.
But isn’t that essentially the same for everyone? … There isn’t enough time and we just can’t push ourselves to do more.
OK, that concludes Five Questions, Series 4. I’ll do another series in a few months.
Meantime, I would like questions to answer — ask anything and I will see if I can answer it. No promises though ‘cos you really don’t want to know about my … TMIA!
Silly Meme
This meme is doing the rounds on Facebook. Just because I’m feeling like wasting time I thought I’d share it here too.
Age I was given: 30
I lived in: Chiswick
I was married to Noreen (by about 2 years)
I drove: myself into depression
I worked at: IBM in Sudbury Hill
I wanted to be: out of the scrofulous flat we lived in (and achieved it while still 30)
I feared: failure
I am now: 62
I live in: Sudbury Hill
I am still married to Noreen
I drive: a PC all day
I work at: retirement (and a little community giveback)
I want to be: financially secure
I fear: losing my marbles
Add a comment to this post and I’ll give you an age so you can continue this silliness.
I've Never Seen Star Wars
Tim over at Bringing up Charlie has started something new. It may even turn into a meme.
As a result of some new-fangled programme on the wireless, which seems to be called I’ve Never Seen Star Wars, Tim has come to realise that there are a collection of things he’s never done or which have somehow passed him by, but which everyone assumes everyone else actually has done. And guess what? The summit of his list is never having seen Star Wars.
Tim then goes on to challenge the rest of us to document the things we’ve never done but which might surprise our friends. Being as I like memes, and I’m insatiably curious about other people, it would be churlish of me not to join in. So here’s my list of a dozen (apparently common) things I’ve never done.
- Seen Star Wars or 2001: A Space Odyssey or Clockwork Orange or any of those other iconic films. (See, Tim, you aren’t the only one!)
- Eaten oysters or tripe
- Worn a dinner jacket or a cocktail dress
- Been skinny dipping
- Played strip poker or strip pool
- Taken recreational drugs
- Driven a car or ridden motorbike
- Watched Eastenders or (again like Tim) Friends or Downton Abbey
- Lusted after Jennifer Aniston or Pamela Anderson
- Been to the races (horses or dogs)
- Been on a package holiday
- Broken a bone
Interestingly only one thing on that list bothers me not to have done. Anyone care to guess which one?
So now I dare everyone else to tell, their darkest, secret, “I’ve never dones” — either in the comments here or on your own blog (with a link in the comments), so we can all have a good snigger. 🙂
Listography : My Week
This week Kate’s Listography asks us to document, in five photos, what we get up to in a typical week.
So here goes with some of the things I might get up to.
Click the photos for bigger images and/or more details.
1. Food Shopping
This lovely display of sprats was on the fish counter of our local Waitrose.
2. Cooking
Noreen and I share cooking duties and I try to do my fair share.
Mostly we’re cooking just main meals; we don’t tend to do fancy stuff
although we do each have our specialities.
These are cheese and onion muffins, which were a special I did some time back.
3. Watching Birds in the Garden
I was brought up to take an interest in Natural History, and I still do.
This starling is drinking from our bird bath; snapped from my study window.
4. Researching My Family History
This is a scan of a ca. 1905 wedding photo;
my maternal grandmother was a bridesmaid to one of her friends.
Her mother is also in the photo.
5. People Watching 
This Hyacinth Bucket lady really let the side down by slumping
on a station bench and devouring a sandwich in public.
Taken at Harrow on the Hill station.
Questionable Meme
OK so I got a covert tag from Katy over at Katyboo1 to do this meme. I can’t resist a good meme.
What I have to do is …
- Post 11 random facts about myself.
- Answer 10 questions set by the person who sent me the meme.
- Pick 10 people to tag myself.
- Set 10 new questions for the people I tag to answer.
11 Random Facts
Those who read here regularly will know quite a bit about me so some of this may be duplication; can’t find 11 totally new ones if only because don’t remember what I’ve used already! So …
- I’ve worn glasses since I was 14 (that’s nearly 50 years! Eeeek!) ‘cos I’m short-sighted.
- I have a residual third nipple.
- I have never broken a bone — and have no wish to! — although I’ve had a couple of close calls.
- I have known as many heart transplant patients as kidney transplant patients (precisely two of each). Odd considering the high number of kidney transplants compared with heart transplants.
- I hate formality and dressing up so I’ve never worn a DJ/tuxedo in my life and I don’t intend to start now.
- I read very slowly; I always have done, and I’ve never managed to master speed-reading.
- I have never learnt to drive.
- I was born in University College Hospital (in London’s Gower Street) so on a very good day I’m a Cockney.
- I terms of doing anything practical I have 10 left thumbs. I can put paint on walls and doors and that’s my limit.
- My parents were somewhat bohemian so I had a very liberal upbringing which included nudism, being allowed to read whatever I wanted and being allowed to make up my own mind on most things.
- Consequently, although I have investigated several religions, I’m now an atheist libertarian myself and believe freedom of speech, sexuality, religion, body freedom and lifestyle are all fundamental rights.
Here are my 10 questions from Katy:
- Cute pictures of animals on the internet, nice or insanely annoying? Cute pictures of anything are insanely annoying.
- What is your favourite meal of the day, and why? All of them; I just like food. But anything with chips or full English breakfast or curry. That’s why I’m obese!
- What is your stance on swearing in front of children? They have to learn the words, and they’ll learn them soon enough at school, so better they learn them from me and can then understand when to use them, what they mean and when they shouldn’t use them. And for what it’s worth I feel the same about sex and nudity — they’ll (half) learn soon enough from their mates so better they learn the truth from their parents/friendly adults.
- Beatles or The Stones? Late Beatles (ie. Sgt Peppers et.seq.) every time.
- Are you a morning person? If not, what time of day sort of person are you? Neither. I’m good in the morning if I wake up early and I’m wide awake; then I can get going and get lots done. Otherwise forget it. Evenings? Not for anything brainful.
- Croutons in soup, right or wrong? Yes, but they have to be proper fried croutons; bits of dry toasted bread are just pointless.
- Favourite moustache. The one I don’t now have. I once had a moustache for about 5 years; it even got on our wedding photos. I grew it for no good reason and shaved it off because I got fed up with it.
- What do you wear in bed, and why? Occasionally my wife, otherwise nothing. I stopped wearing nightclothes when I was a student. Skin is so much more comfortable than clothes that just tie your dangly bits in knots.
- Lace curtains or let ‘em look? Lace curtains are the work of the Devil. I need daylight. Al fresco lifestyles are us. If anyone looks too much they get a wave or a finger.
- Will rockeries ever make a resurgence in these modern times? Probably when some poncy “garden chef” decides they’re fashionable.
Tag 10 people
Like Katy I don’t generally tag people by name. So anyone who wants to do this can post their answers on their blog and post a link in the comments. I promise I’ll come and read yours if you do. But to encourage you all, if ten people contribute (and do it properly) I’ll give £10 to a UK charity nominated by the 10th contributor posting a link to their contribution in the comments.
10 New Questions for Anyone Accepting a Tag
- When did you last go to the dentist?
- Your favourite poem?
- Something that made you happy this week?
- Soup or sandwich?
- What’s the furthest you’ve ever travelled from your home?
- What’s your favourite sex toy?
- Science or God?
- Are you vegetarian? Why or why not?
- One thing you consider to be a work of the Devil?
- What would be your one desert island luxury?
Good Badness
Both Katy (Katyboo) and Emma (Belgian Waffle) have invited us all to document what we are good and bad at. So who am I not to comply with such royal command.
So here goes …
| BAD | GOOD |
| Drawing and painting DIY — actually anything dexterous Spontaneity Anything athletic Reading quickly Complaining about service Being active & getting out Respecting management Suffering fools & the pretentious Saving money Vanity Phoning people Foreign languages Latin Patience Erections Logic Puzzles Exercise Self-publicity |
Nagging Navigation & map reading Organising Project management Maths and science Logic Analysing situations, quickly Being idle Eating and drinking Thinking Bending the rules Telling it like it is Sleeping in late Research Arguing & disputing Computery things Making decisions Finance Being stressed Being overawed by the great & good |
So how about you all tell me what you’re good at — either in the comments or on your blog and leave a link in the comments?
Now I’m off to the supermarket.