Category Archives: beliefs

Marriage

There’s recently been a lot of brouhaha over the UK government’s suggestion of making marriage available to (male and female) homosexual couples.

The Christian churches are up in arms because they see it as devaluing (or worse) the sacrament of marriage.

Put plainly, this is bollox.

Neither the church, nor any other religion, owns marriage. Arguably it may have done once, in the days before developed civil government, but no longer. In almost every civilised country there is a civil marriage option available as well as a religious one. The churches may have a ceremony which they call marriage. This does not mean they own the concept or the sole rights, although it does give them the right to choose who to allow to partake in their ceremony.

A heterosexual couple can have a civil marriage, so why can’t a homosexual couple? No-one is suggesting that the churches have to be a part of this if they wish not to. They are not to be obliged to marry homosexual couples and indeed they may choose (as they do now) who can marry under their aegis. Many heterosexual couples are denied a religious marriage for a whole variety of reasons.

And of course no couple has to marry or enter into any officially sanctioned partnership arrangement. And quite right too. So a coach and horses has already been driven through marraige as originally conceived by the churches.

I fail to see a problem.

There are couples who will choose a civil marriage and couples who will choose a religious marriage. Civil marriage will be available to all; religious marriage will only be available to those who can jump some arbitrary set of church defined hurdles. Just as now.

And come couples will choose to ignore the whole idea of marriage (by whatever name) and just live together. Horses for courses, and all that.

No change, really, except that the civil marriage net is being widened.

Although there is the suggestion of an anomaly with civil partnerships. As gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell has pointed out the current proposals now discriminate against heterosexuals by allowing same-sex couples the option of marriage or civil partnerships but only marriage for heterosexual couples. Which is ludicrous!

I see no purpose in continuing with the civil partnership sham. Let’s drop it altogether and have just civil marriages. Either that or we have to keep both civil partnerships and civil marriages for all.

Or of course we could just ban marriage altogether — for everyone.

For other sane views you might like to read Betty Herbert’s blog, John Bingham in the Daily Telegraph and Marie Jackson on BBC News.

What's so Shocking about Breasts?

BBC TV Breakfast presenter Susanna Reid has accused viewers of over-reacting to sightings of her cleavage.

Oh FFS! What’s so shocking about breasts? Even whole breasts, let alone glimpses round the edge?

Answer: Nothing!

Women have breasts. So do men. Women’s breasts are multi-functional. Men’s aren’t. Men are allowed to show theirs. Women aren’t. How is this logic? Where is the problem?

Answer: In your mind!

Who cares whether the breasts in question are on TV, at the supermarket, in my front room, or on the beach? Why should that make any difference?

We all know, give or take the odd interesting scar, what’s under these pieces of fabric we call clothes. So how does it matter if the fabric isn’t there? If everyone was naked, wouldn’t we find it obscene that people wanted to cover themselves up?

Come on people, get a life! Bodies and nudity are normal. They aren’t de facto sexual, or criminal, or dirty, or “not nice” — except in your mind. Try getting real and getting comfortable with bodies; try being body and sex positive for once. Try adjusting your mind.

Yes, it’ll change your outlook on life — for the better. And who knows, you might actually like it!

And remember: If you see anything God didn’t make, throw a brick at it!

Good call, Susanna!

Logic? What Logic?

Reports and comment on two recent pieces of appalling logic.

Firstly on the Roman Catholic Church’s stance on same sex marriage: Cardinal Sins against Logic. What can one do but agree with one commenter who says There is no such thing as ‘a great theological mind’. The term is an oxymoron.

And secondly on the attitude of some American mothers towards other teenage girls taking the Pill: All Kinds of Weapons.

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!


If you’re interested in nudism, need your mind expanding or have kids with body image hang-ups (ie. most teenagers) this should be worth watching.

My Daughter the Teenage Nudist
Channel 4; Thursday 12 January; 10pm
Filmed in collaboration with British Naturism

Wassail!

Tonight is Twelfth Night. According to the OED Twelfth Night is the evening of the fifth of January, preceding Twelfth Day, the eve of the Epiphany; this was formerly the last day of the Christmas festivities and observed as a time of merrymaking. This is predicated on the medieval custom of starting each new day at sunset, so that Twelfth Night precedes Twelfth Day Which would be Epiphany, 6 January).

Tradition has it that if you don’t take your Christmas decorations down by Twelfth Night they have to stay up all year or you bring bad luck upon yourself. Although there does seem to be a “lease break” at Candlemas (2 February).

In many parts of England, especially the southern cider-making counties, one of the Twelfth Night traditions is Wassailing the apple trees to ensure a good crop the following autumn. In fact the term Wassail, by association, has at least there uses: the celebration of the apple trees, the hot mulled punch which is drunk at such occasions, and as a toast. All derive from the Middle English wæs hæl, meaning literally “good health”. To quote Wikipedia:

In the cider-producing counties […] wassailing refers to a traditional ceremony that involves singing and drinking the health of trees in the hopes that they might better thrive. The purpose of wassailing is to awake the cider apple trees and to scare away evil spirits to ensure a good harvest of fruit in the Autumn. The ceremonies of each wassail vary from village to village but they generally all have the same core elements. A wassail King and Queen lead the song and/or a processional tune to be played/sung from one orchard to the next, the wassail Queen will then be lifted up into the boughs of the tree where she will place toast soaked in Wassail […] as a gift to the tree spirits […] an incantation is usually recited […]

The words of the incantation and any associated carol(s) vary, for instance there is:

Here’s to thee, old apple-tree,
Whence thou mayst bud, and whence thou mayst blow,
And whence thou mayst bear apples enow!
Hats-full! Caps-full!
Bushel, bushel sacks-full!
And my pockets full, too! Hurra!

The one I prefer is the ancient Gloucetershire Wassail which begins

Wassail! wassail! all over the town,
Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown;
Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree;
With the wassailing bowl, we’ll drink to thee.

There’s also this Wassail carol, which is more often these days sung as a Christmas carol (which it never was!):

Here we come a wassailing among the leaves so green
Here we come a wandering so fair to be seen
Love and joy come to you and to your wassail too
And the Gods bless you and send you a happy New Year
And the Gods send you a happy New Year
We are not daily beggars that beg from door to door
We are your neighbour’s children whom you have seen before
The Gods bless the master of this house, likewise the mistress, too
And all the little children that round the table go.

Needless to say the details vary from place to place. The Wassail punch may be cider, beer, wine or mead based. As one is thanking and encouraging the apple trees my gut feel is that the punch should be either cider based or contain apple in some other form. I also recall that some traditions use cake rather then toast and some have bonfires. You can also indulge in making a lot of noise (like banging on tin buckets, blowing horns etc.) in order to drive away the evil spirits.

So if you want to go out tonight and wassail your apple tree(s) then as long as you stick to these rough principles, and don’t drink all the punch before the apple trees have their share, you don’t seem to be able to go far wrong. Just remember that if you want to dance round the tree as well, you’d better go deosil (clockwise) but as it is a few days away from full moon you will probably be excused doing so sky-clad — although there is nothing saying you can’t should you wish!

Wassail!

Ten Things of 2011: The Summary

Back in January I set out to write ten things each month so that at the end of this year you knew 120 more things about me: things I like and things I dislike. Just for the record, and seeing as it's the end of the year, here is the complete list …

Things I Like

  1. Sex
  2. Cats
  3. Steam Trains
  4. Koi
  5. Nudity
  6. Roses
  7. Beer
  8. Sunshine
  9. Photography
  10. Tea
  11. Beaujolais Nouveau
  12. Fresh Snow
Things I Won't Do

  1. Play Golf
  2. Sailing
  3. Ballroom Dancing
  4. Bungee Jumping
  5. Wearing DJ/Tuxedo
  6. Wear Jacket and Tie on Holiday
  7. Parachute
  8. Eat Sheep's Eyes or Tripe
  9. Take any more Exams
  10. Halloween
  11. Plumbing
  12. Go Horse Racing

Something I want to do

  1. Visit Japan
  2. Take a Trip on Orient Express
  3. Expand my Family History
  4. Travel Wick/Thurso to Penzence by Train
  5. Have Acupuncture
  6. Have a Nudist Holiday
  7. Visit Scilly Isles
  8. Win £2M
  9. Get Rid of my Depression
  10. Fly on Flightdeck of an Airliner
  11. Visit Norway & Sweden
  12. Write a Book
Blogs I Like

  1. Katyboo
  2. Emily Nagoski :: Sex Nerd
  3. The Magistrates Blog
  4. Art by Ren Adams
  5. Whoopee
  6. Aetiology
  7. Not Exactly Rocket Science
  8. Norn's Notebook
  9. The Loom
  10. Bad Science
  11. Cocktail Party Physics
  12. Postsecret

Books I Like

  1. Anthony Powell; A Dance to the Music of Time
  2. Brad Warner; Sex, Sin & Zen
  3. Mary Roach; Stiff
  4. Lewis Carroll; Alice in Wonderland
  5. Brown, Fergusson, Lawrence & Lees; Tracks & Signs
    of the Birds of Britain & Europe
  6. John Guillim, A Display of Heraldrie
  7. Diary of Samuel Pepys
  8. AN Wilson, After the Victorians
  9. Florence Greenberg; Jewish Cookery
  10. Nick McCamley; Secret Underground Cities
  11. Douglas Adams, Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy
  12. Charles Nicholls; The Reckoning
Music I Like

  1. Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here
  2. Beatles, Abbey Road
  3. Yes, Close to the Edge
  4. Monteverdi, 1610 Vespers
  5. Caravan, In the Land of Pink & Grey
  6. Carl Orff, Carmina Burana
  7. Amanda Palmer, Map of Tasmania
  8. William Byrd, The Battell
  9. Pink Floyd, Learning to Fly
  10. Moody Blues, Octave
  11. Handel, Messiah
  12. JS Bach, Christmas Oratorio

Food I Like

  1. Curry
  2. Pasta
  3. Sausage
  4. Butter Beans
  5. Whitebait
  6. Avocado
  7. Cheese
  8. Smoked Fish, especially Eel
  9. Chips
  10. Swiss Chard
  11. Pizza
  12. Treacle Tart
Food & Drink I Dislike

  1. Egg Custard
  2. Carrots
  3. Sweetcorn
  4. Pernod
  5. Sheep's Eyes
  6. Green Tea
  7. Tapioca
  8. Absinthe
  9. Marron Glacé
  10. Milk
  11. Sweet Potatoes
  12. Butternut Squash
Words I Like

  1. Cunt
  2. Crenellate
  3. Merkin
  4. Merhari
  5. Amniomancy
  6. Vespiary
  7. Numpty
  8. Halberd
  9. Verisimilitude
  10. Persiflage
  11. Mendicant
  12. Antepenultimate

Quotes I Like

  1. If you don't concern yourself with your wife's cat, you will lose something irretrievable between you. [Haruki Murakami]
  2. When we talk about settling the world's problems, we're barking up the wrong tree. The world is perfect. It's a mess. It has always been a mess. We are not going to change it. Our job is to straighten out our own lives. [Joseph Campbell]
  3. The purpose of our lives is to be happy. [Dalai Lama]
  4. The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. [Flannery O’Connor]
  5. I like small furry animals — as long as they're tasty. [Lisa Jardine]
  6. The covers of this book are too far apart. [Ambrose Bierce]
  7. It will pass, sir, like other days in the army. [Anthony Powell]
  8. The gap between strategic rhetoric and operational reality remains dangerously wide. [Prof. Gordon Hewitt]
  9. Pro bono publico, nil bloody panico. [Rear-Admiral Sir Morgan Morgan-Giles]
  10. Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste more like prunes than a rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know? [Groucho Marx]
  11. The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. [JBS Haldane]
  12. If we don't change our direction we're liable to end up where we're going. [Chinese Proverb]

Today

Although we always think of 21 December as being the shortest day and the Winter Solstice, in fact this year both fall today, 22 December. The Solstice was actually at 05:30 UTC (aka. GMT) this morning. And today is the shortest day (time between sunrise and sunset) of the year in London; with just 7 hours 49 minutes 43 seconds of daylights today is just 1 second shorter than yesterday, and 5 seconds shorter than tomorrow.

Almost every culture around the world has a rite (often a festival of rebirth, light or fire) observing “the turning of the year”: that time when the days start lengthening and we know Spring is on the way. For most of us in the western world the Roman Saturnalia and the Celtic fire festivals have been admixed by Christianity to make our Christmas.

So we had jam yesterday and although there’s no jam today there will be jam again tomorrow.