Category Archives: amusements

Amusements of the Year

OK, so here are a few of the miscellaneous things I’ve spotted during 2012 and which stand out …

Best Name of the Year
Captain Lintorn Highett
Telegraph obituary

Neologism of the Year
Transmedia content strategy
slideshare.net, 13 January
No I don’t know what it means either!

Recipe of the Year
Chocolate-covered Bacon on a Stick
As perpetrated by Wikipedia

Book Title of the Year
Louise Rennison, Withering Tights

TV Programme of the Year
Pointless Celebrities, BBC

Which just about says it all, really!

Strange Customs & Events

Only in the British Isles** do we seem to have such a range of strange customs sand events. Here’s a selection of some of the odder ones we came across during the year.

World Pea Shooting Championship
Witcham, near Ely, Cambridgeshire
Next being held on 13 July 2013.


Quite a few places hold a Scarecrow Festival, including Langwathby (Cumbria), Harpole (Northants) and Hayling Island (near Portsmouth).

National Giant Vegetable Championships which seem to always be a part of the Royal Bath & West Show at the end of August.

Cow Dung Festival, County Mayo, Ireland
But then there’s a Cow Dung Festival in Switzerland as well!

British Beard and Moustache Championships
Held in Brighton in September 2012.
There are some brilliant pictures here. The 2013 World Championships will be held in Germany.

World Snail Racing Championships
Congham, near King’s Lynn, Norfolk; August 2012


World Stone Skimming Championships
Easdale Island, near Oban, Argyll
Next on 29 September 2013.

World Custard Pie Championships
Marden, Kent; September 2012

** I was going to say England, but then realised there are Irish and Scottish entries in the list.

Headlines of the Year

It seems to be traditional to write something to round off and/or summarise the departing year. And who am I to buck the trend? So here is my pick of wcky headlines seen during 2012.

Plane hit by bus shelter during storm
BBC, 4 January

Amish men jailed over reflective triangle dispute
Telegraph, 12 January

Got PMS? Time to Spot the Snake!
Neurotic Physiology blog, 9 May
One’s heard of trouser snakes, but …

Window of John Fowles says landmark home has become a dump (sic)
Telegraph; 23 March

Microsoft invests in Nook e-books
BBC, 30 April

Wet weather hampers All England squid catching championships
Telegraph, 2 May

Cherie Blair herds goats across London Bridge
Telegraph, 24 June

Forgotten Constables up for sale
BBC, 18 June
I knew the country was hard up, but selling off stray policemen?

Bad weather leads to broccoli crisis
Telegraph, 28 June
Now admit it, you never imagined that a lack of broccoli would constitute a crisis.

Stonehenge upgrade to begin
Telegraph, 6 July
Only 5000 years to get the planning permission!

Parrot in trouble for shouting out taxi bookings
Telegraph, 12 July

TfL denies driverless Tube rain trial on London Underground (sic)
BBC, 18 July

Starlings in danger after numbers plummet 80p per cent (sic)
Telegraph, 20 July

Part of Whitehall shut due to naked man on statue
BBC, 23 November
They’ve since changed that headline.

Enjoy!

Ever More!

There’s a brilliant BBC News item from Boxing Day on the ravens at the Tower of London. They have released the latest recruit “Jubilee” who has spent the last 6 months being acclimatised. A second male bird named “Gripp”, after Charles Dickens’ pet raven, has also been released to prowl the Tower grounds along with “Jubilee”.


It is believed ravens have been living in the Tower of London since at least the time of King Charles II and legend maintains that if they ever leave the tower and the monarchy will crumble — although this may all be Victorian fiction. Allegedly too when Charles II received complaints that the ravens were interfering with the work of the Royal Observatory, he ordered the re-siting of the Observatory to Greenwich rather than remove the ravens.

About the only restraint on the ravens is that they have the flight feathers on one wing clipped to prevent them flying off (they can however fly short distances to perch) and, as I recall, they are caged overnight. Otherwise the ravens are free to roam the tower grounds and do much as they please.

And do the ravens have a good life! As Wikipedia notes, quoting Boria Sax:

The ravens are now treated almost like royalty. Like the Royals, the ravens live in a palace and are waited on by servants. They are kept at public expense, but in return they must show themselves to the public in settings of great splendour. So long as they abide by certain basic rules, neither Royals nor ravens have to do anything extraordinary. If the power in question is political and diplomatic, the Royals now have hardly more than the ravens. But the word “power” here can also mean the aura of glamour and mystery which at times envelops both ravens and monarchs.

This is rather exemplified by another brilliant quite in the BBC News piece from Chris Scaife, the Yeoman Warden Ravenmaster:

“Raven Jubilee is doing very well and has now been trained to come out of his cage and meet all the visitors … But it takes years for the birds to really get to know members of the raven team and for us to get to know them and their idiosyncratic ways.”

He added: “They are the most pampered birds in the country — and one of the most intelligent. They gang up on small children with crisps at the tower — but they don’t like cheese and onion — so they’ll open the packet and dip the crisps in water to get rid of the taste.”

And that’s despite they’re each fed around 8oz of meat a day plus fruit, cheese, eggs and bird biscuit.

What brilliant birds!

Auction Time Again …

It’s auction time again at our local auction house. As usual there is an interesting selection of items about which one has to ask “why?”.

A small oil of a carthorse with its driver in a ford, English School, probably late 19th century, on canvas, giltwood frame with ivy leaf border.
Is the horse holding the driver under to drown him, I wonder?

A collection of envelope seals, paper money …
I can find no reference t this new species the Envelope Seal.

A Japanese bone netsuke carved as a seated boy holding a cockerel, c1900.
Is it only my mind that would misinterpret this?

A pair of sterling shakers …
What is a sterling and how do you shake it?

Three old garden gnomes, in pottery and concrete, a glass fibre plaque of musical children, a shell architectural ornament, a terracotta pot …
All in the best possible taste, naturally.

An old hat box full of hats and a suitcase of lace curtains, two cushions …
I quite expected the suitcase to be full of suits!

An interesting collection of artefacts including a death mask in an oak case, a duty free pack of Players Navy Cut cigarettes, old table light, carved wooden items, manicure sets, old boxes, campaign mirror, and a set of Carl Zeiss Dekarem 10×50 binoculars
Words like “an interesting collection” always make my heart sink. Read “a collection of old toot we couldn’t think what to do with”.

A shelf containing a horn-handled carving set, a boomerang, brass candlesticks, four glass fish ornaments, miniature teapots, an old iron …

A bras [sic] bulkhead clock signed Hermle and a matching barometer
If you must mistype it, please do it properly and give us “A bras bulkhead cock”

A Carltonware Guinness advertising lamp base, as a penguin holding a placard inscribed Draught Guinness

A spectacular Capodimonte porcelain group of a Gypsy Encampment by Sandro Maggioni with grazing horse and covered wagon, dancing couple, fiddler, woman tending a fire and child with dog, with certificate dated May 1977

A Rowe Juke box. The vendor reports that this is in good working order, ask for a demonstration.

A vast quantity of miscellaneous goods including retro items, waste paper bins, wall clocks, magazine racks, prams, candlesticks, old tins, Scalextrics, prints, pictures, glassware, biscuit tins, an old chrome folding trolley, mirror, floor lamp
Yep, more old toot!

Let Them Dance

Christmas is coming, and it’s time to have some fun with the TV schedules.

This evening we made the mistake of catching a bit of Strictly Come Dancing, the appallingly horrible BBC TV show. Oh dear, even with the sound off it was verging on the vomit-worthy.

But we thought what a wonderful line-up the BBC could put together for a Strictly Christmas Extravaganza.

As it would be a one-off special we decided it should be just 8 couples; so 8 “slebs”, four of nominally each gender. We decided that for a real laugh they should be:

Ester Rantzen
Vanessa Feltz
Harriet Harman
Camila Batmanghelidjh
Robbie Coltraine
Graham Norton
David Beckham
Tony Blair

So who would you choose to make right prats of themselves?