Another instalment in our very occasional series documenting some of the underbelly of Britain. Britain which we wouldn’t like visitors to see and which we wish wasn’t there. The trash, abused, decaying, destitute and otherwise buggered parts of our environment. Those parts which symbolise the current economic malaise; parts which, were the country flourishing, wouldn’t be there, would be better cared for, or made less inconvenient.
This magnificent frontage is not far from where I live; I spotted it earlier this week. What you cannot see is that the “stonework” is actually some very badly finished concrete and that the sides of the mini-porch-let are scrofulous wood in the same style as the tympanum. The door is a disgrace and the whole was just set off by the dying Christmas tree and recycling bags & bins. Seldom have I seen such awful construction.
Penguin eggs were relished by the Vicomte de Mauduit:
Penguin eggs: greenish white … about the size of a turkey’s, should be eaten hard-boiled, cold with a salad. To hard-boil them takes about three-quarters of an hour; when shelled, the whites appear like pale green jelly … they are as delicious to the taste as they are attractive to the eye.
[The Vicomte in the Kitchen; 1933]
Penguin meat itself was served up by John Thompson, cook on Captain Cook’s first expedition to the Southern Ocean (1768-71); Cook described the flesh as “reminiscent of bullock’s liver”.
Here beginneth a new monthly series. My idea is that on the tenth of each month I will post a list of 10 things. They may be things I like; things about me; fun things; stupid things; or just random things like ships’ names or types of cauliflower. Who knows until we get there!? It’s just a bit of fun. I’m going to start semi-seriously with … 10 things I want to do in 2014:
OK, guys and gals, here’s another silly little regular (I hope) series to pique your interest in the middle of the week: Oddity of the Week.
There are just so many odd, curious and amusing facts out there. And they just cry out to be shared. Like everything here some will be serious; some will be amusing; and some will just be terminally out of their tree. It all depends how I feel at the time.
Let’s start with one of those real curiosities of English Law, and in this case a modern one: Sheep-Walking.
On 10 December 2003 the then Under Secretary of State at the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, Ben Bradshaw MP, provided a Commons written answer to confirm that taking one’s pet sheep for a walk does not require a licence. However, walking one’s pet pig does: a regulation introduced in 1995 to reduce the risk of spreading disease.
To start off the New Year I decided we would have another round of Five Questions.
As before they are a mix of difficult and slightly silly questions, although of course you can treat them all as serious, or all as silly, should you wish. And there’s no knowing what I shall do when I get to answer each!
So the five questions for series 5 are:
What is time?
Describe your fantasy girl. (Yes girls, you can answer this too!)
Do stairs go up or down?
Give me the story of your life in six words.
Unicorns or magic carpet as your only form of transport? Why?
As in previous series, if you take them seriously I think they’re going to be deceptively tricky. I certainly don’t know exactly how I’m going to answer them all, although I have a few ideas up my sleeve.
But answer them I will; one at a time over the coming weeks; the first probably in about a week from now — so you (and I!) have some think time.
And as I’ve said before, if anyone has any more good questions, then please send them to me. I’d like to continue to do this two or three times a year so good, but potentially fun, questions are needed.
Watch this space!
We present our round-up of some of the curiosities which have come our way during the last year. eBay Auction Item of the Year Medieval Victorian Piano at Ingatestone Hall Essex Postcard Excellent Name of the Year is awarded jointly to:
Roger Kneebone, Professor of Surgical Education, Imperial College, London
Daniel Shittu, Millwall footballer Meaningless Neologism of the Year Innovation ideation process. Thanks to Sue for that one. Book Titles of the Year Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop by Reginald Bakeley (Bookseller / Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title, 2013) How Tea Cosies Changed the World by Loani Prior Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers (1994) (Bookseller / Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title, 1996) Practical Skunk Raising by William Edwin Pratt (1915)
You can find them all on Amazon UK. Academic Paper of the Year is awarded jointly to:
“An In-Depth Analysis of a Piece of Shit: Distribution of Schistosoma mansoni and Hookworm Eggs in Human Stool”; Stefanie J Krauth et al.; PLOS Neglected Tropical Diseases; December 2012
“Toilet Hygiene in the Classical Era”; Phillippe Charlier et al.; BMJ; December 2012 TV Programme of the Year
Nothing has yet beaten last year’s winner: Pointless Celebrities (BBC1) Online Video of the Year The reaction to my vaginal knitting shows society is still telling a woman what to do with her body; Independent; 17 December 2013 Headlines of the Year Hotel offers goldfish for lonely guests; Daily Telegraph, 11 April 2013 n exciting new chapter in the life of suave Tony Blair (sic); Daily Telegraph; 10 February 2013 Penis enlargement ad banned after ‘inadequacy’ complaint; Daily Telegraph; 19 February 2013 David Cameron leaves us with a ‘Tantric’ time bomb; Daily Telegraph; 26 January 2013 Is it a Mop Handle or a Penis?; Court News UK
Eccentric looks at life through the thoughts of a retired working thinker
Here beginneth a new monthly series. My idea is that on the tenth of each month I will post a list of 10 things. They may be things I like; things about me; fun things; stupid things; or just random things like ships’ names or types of cauliflower. Who knows until we get there!? It’s just a bit of fun. I’m going to start semi-seriously with …