Category Archives: amusements

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 14

So here we are at the penultimate instalment of our 100 Days of Haiku challenge. The 100th day is Tuesday 8 October and I’ll post the final results in the middle of next week. Meanwhile here is this week’s offering.

Monday 30 September
Felines emitting
zonkons. No wonder I sleep
all the afternoon.

Tuesday 1 October
Autumn eastern sky;
only two stars, just visible.
Too much urban light.

Wednesday 2 October
Life is suffering
but filled with such wonders:
blue sky and lightning.

Thursday 3 October
Sink and ye shall find,
the tap it is a-dripping.
Plumber required.

Friday 4 October
2AM. She sleeps.
I enjoy a quiet wank.
Ah! So much better.

Saturday 5 October
Three eager felines
awaiting their bowls of cod.
No need to wash up.

Sunday 6 October
October tolls the knell
of distant summer days, and
winter soon to come.

Here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9 28
10 18
11 26
12 22
13 27
14 23
15  
Total 352


Final instalment in a few days.

Counters

Each month this year we’re bringing you a post under the general title “Things that Count in [Number]” where [Number] will be the month. And naturally each month’s post will contain the [Number] of items (so just one for January, up to 12 for December).

For our purposes the definition of counting includes things which either come in groups of [Number] (eg. four suits in a pack of playing cards) or things which count in [Number] (eg. decimal coinage counting in tens).

Things which Count in Ten …

  1. Green bottles
  2. Anything metric
  3. Commandments
  4. Lords a-leaping
  5. Bowling pins
  6. Provinces of Canada
  7. Legs on a crab
  8. Countdown to launch
  9. Plagues of Egypt
  10. Grave precepts of Zen Buddhism

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 13

Now for the next instalment of our 100 Days of Haiku challenge.

Monday 23 September
Product of the cow
set between slices of bread.
Steak sandwich heaven.

Tuesday 24 September
Lazing along day.
No hurry, no rush, no stress.
Yet all is complete.

Wednesday 25 September
Gaze on a blank screen;
myriads of unborn words
at my fingertips.

Thursday 26 September
Pretty hairy pubes
wafting aroma aloft:
enticement to fuck.

Friday 27 September
Out of their depth the
bullies bully more, louder.
Government crisis.

Saturday 28 September
A painted lady:
pretty summer butterfly
or a pretty tart?

Sunday 29 September
Meaty piggy ribs:
marinade, oven barbecue.
Much yummy, Mummy.

Here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9 28
10 18
11 26
12 22
13 27
14  
15  
Total 302


Next instalment, next Sunday.

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 12

We’re nearing the end of my 100 Days of Haiku challenge; just over two weeks to go. I need to get out more to stimulate the inspiration; however I continue to write more than one haiku most days although many are not at all good. Anyway here’s this week’s selection.

Monday 16 September
September Sunday,
warm sunny garden weather.
Neighbours arguing.

Tuesday 17 September
Venerable bears think
haiku writing very odd.
Maybe we all do?

Wednesday 18 September
Hidden in the trees
corvids argue all morning.
Continual din.

Thursday 19 September
Locks looking shaggy.
Long overdue, today we
for the barber’s chop.

Friday 20 September
Feeding together:
jackdaw and rook, corvids both,
across the stubble field.

Saturday 21 September
Blood test and flu jab;
chance meet friend: she’s lost her son.
Life is such sadness.

Sunday 22 September
Boy cat sleeps hard in
dappled sun through chilli plants.
Study as greenhouse.

Here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9 28
10 18
11 26
12 22
13  
14  
15  
Total 302


Next instalment, next Sunday.

Passing Thought on Our Time

Just this passing thought on our time (with apologies to the Oldham Tinkers).

At Parliament it used to good,
To see them think of country’s good,
But now the game has changed, tha’ll see,
They can’t talk truthful on TV.

Boris Johnson is a cunt,
Boris Johnson is a cunt,
Eee, aye, addie,
Boris Johnson is a cunt.

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 11

Here’s this week’s update on my 100 Days of Haiku challenge. Struggling for inspiration again some days this week, partly due to this f***ing cold which won’t go away.

Monday 9 September
Tandem, bike and trike,
penny-farthing, bone-shaker:
velocipedes all.

Tuesday 10 September
Absent mindedly
daily haiku forgotten.
Recovering now.

Wednesday 11 September
Sorting cutlery:
steel forks, and silver fish knives,
cake slice and crumb tray.

Thursday 12 September
Peach, grey, silver-gilt;
pale azure blue up beyond.
September sunset.

Friday 13 September
Doubt, lies and bullshit,
uncertainty, confusion.
All have gone cuckoo.

Saturday 14 September
Azure, semé of
cloudlets argent, a chief or.
Flyer’s escutcheon.

Sunday 15 September
Black and white Rosie
cat’s getting rather podgy;
much like the humans.

Here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9 28
10 18
11 26
12  
13  
14  
15  


Next instalment, next Sunday.

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 10

Here’s this week’s update on my 100 Days of Haiku challenge. It’s been quite a challenge again this week.

Monday 2 September
Moist misty mornings
with wind-blown wafts of wood smoke.
Autumn’s ambiance.

Tuesday 3 September
Today will be tough,
I’m struggling to get going.
Alarm clock strikes back.

Wednesday 4 September
Sanshin and sitar,
bagpipe and digeridoo:
music makers all.

Thursday 5 September
Cough, cough, bugger off,
stop me coughing up my lungs.
Intercostal hurts.

Friday 6 September
Brain and body strike
for better working conditions
without cold abuse.

Saturday 7 September
The Apparition,
head tucked under her arm,
walks abroad for ever.

Sunday 8 September
Tree vital for life:
climate change regulator,
balancing carbon.

Here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9 28
10 18
11  
12  
13  
14  
15  


Next instalment, next Sunday.

Counters

Each month this year we’re bringing you a post under the general title “Things that Count in [Number]” where [Number] will be the month. And naturally each month’s post will contain the [Number] of items (so just one for January, up to 12 for December).

For our purposes the definition of counting includes things which either come in groups of [Number] (eg. four suits in a pack of playing cards) or things which count in [Number] (eg. decimal coinage counting in tens).

Things which Count in Nine …

  1. Ladies dancing
  2. Cats’ lives
  3. Worlds in Norse mythology
  4. Members of the Fellowship of the Ring
  5. Innings in a baseball game
  6. Muses in Greek mythology
  7. Circles of Hell
  8. Lights on a Hanukkah Menorah
  9. Orders of Angels in Christian mythology

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 9

Here’s this week’s update on my 100 Days of Haiku challenge.

Monday 26 August
In postprandial
balmy twilight, sitting out.
But where are the bats?

Tuesday 27 August
Chattering, London
Historians, enjoying
yearly lunch party.

Wednesday 28 August
Girls in skimpy shorts,
pelmet skirts, crop tops, no tops.
It’s what summer’s for.

Thursday 29 August
Government holding
democracy to ransom.
Civil war looms large.

Friday 30 August
Thick of head and brain,
full of snot and sore of throat.
Cauldron of head cold.

Saturday 31 August
Disturbed by dreams.
Why such poor sleep when unwell?
Better sleep tonight?

Sunday 1 September
Wakefulness falters.
An afternoon nap beckons.
Much better after.

And here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9 28
10  
11  
12  
13  
14  
15  


Next instalment, next Sunday.

100 Days of Haiku, Episode 8

Here’s this week’s update on my 100 Days of Haiku challenge.

Monday 19 August
A small brown shell moth
rests on the bathroom ceiling.
Not good camouflage.

Tuesday 20 August
Once upon a time,
deep in historical mists,
the story was born.

Wednesday 21 August
So where am I now?
Three words will tell exactly
anywhere on Earth.

Thursday 22 August
Dreams that disturb sleep.
Dreams with many-layered plots.
Strange Byzantine dreams.

Friday 23 August
The optician
rechecks my visual fields.
Dots before the eyes.

Saturday 24 August
Berry fruits and plum,
nectarine, cherry brandy.
Summer fruit salad.

Sunday 25 August
Sweaty textile hell.
Be brave, go nude, why care so?
Comfort over style.

And here’s the tally of progress by week:

Week Haiku
Written
1 16
2 28
3 33
4 26
5 26
6 27
7 28
8 24
Week Haiku
Written
9  
10  
11  
12  
13  
14  
15  


Next instalment, next Sunday.